Love Me

"Wow, this one looks good on you!" Navi said and put the hat on me, I was looking at Navi's wrist a while ago, he wears the watch that I gave five years ago. I was happy with what I saw, he took care of it and nothing changed the watch, it still looks like new. I held Navi's hand and looked at the clock, smiled at her and Navi blushed at my actions. "You take care of it," I promised energetically and he smiled at me. "Everything that you gave to me, I take care of, because that is precious. Everything that you gave to me, I never let go." Navi just held my hand, measured the bracelet displayed there, it was pearls and it looks expensive. "Come on, let's pay for these things," he said and walked to the counter first, pointing to what we bought while I watched him from a distance. What he said makes me feel more guilty, I really feel that it was wrong that I thought badly of him, that I did wrong to blame him. Maybe, that is what I think, because I tied myself to Draven and I'm afraid to go back to Navi again, because I know to myself that I will come back and I will go back to him. On tha past few years, my life was full of conflict, there were many things that were really confusing for me, I also thought that Draven would never be lost from me, so it made me think. I always look hypocrite no matter what I will do. If I go back to Navi, I feel bad, because less than a year ago I immediately went back to my ex fiance, people will think that I am happy about losing my husband, with the many people I know and those who were close to my husband, I know that's what they will think. To Draven's relatives on his mother's side, they might tell me that I am ungrateful, so there is something really wrong with what Navi and I are doing, I still have to respect my husband who died, and to be honest, one is missing year, so I can show my love to Draven. I don't want to reach the day when I forget him, I can be happy with others. I'm afraid for my feelings for Draven, but he's gone, what should I do next, maybe I have the right to be happy, don't I? Navi walked up to me, took my hand and we walked out of the shop, hand in hand walking to the car, putting our purchases. After leaving the shopping in the car, he pointed to the coffee shop, we bought iced coffee and sat at the tables outside. The air was cold and a woman approached me, Navi was looking at me and the one holding the cake followed. "Happy birthday day to you," he stared singing and I was stunned, because the staff of the coffee shop surrounded us, I was confused and they were holding balloons and flowers. "Happy birthday baby," Navi said and stood up, reached for the cake and brought it to me, "Make a wish." He just showed his purest smile, and it melts my heart now, I didn't notice the day, and it's my birthday today, with everything going so fast, I even forgot my own birthday. "Oh my gosh, thank you so much." I blew the candle after making a wish, my wish was for a better life. Whatever my decision will lead, I want them to make me a better person, a better mother for my child. They clapped and the coffee shop closed, Navi and I were the only people. "You still remember my birthday?" I asked him a silly question and Navi laughed, he looked happy and enjoying these precious moments with me. "I never forget that, even though we are gone. I still celebrate your birthday, because that is the birthday of the woman that I love the most," he said, before putting cake on my plate. "I'm happy again, content with what I have now, that I'm with you and we're happy, I am still looking forward for more, but I don't want to rush what's happening on us, I respect you and your decisions. " He smiled before eating the cake. I also started to eat the cake on my plate. Navi didn't change at all, I was the only one who used to say that he changed, because that's what I want him to be, to be able to move on and be happy, but the real happiness is to be with him, that no matter what I do, no Draven can match the joy that Navi gives me. I know, it's ugly to hear, because I can say this even though it was only a few months ago when I lost Draven, but I can't help it, this is what my heart feels. I can't lie about how I feel right now. I don't know if this is a blessing in disguise, what I refuse to do is to let whatever is there now. Be happy with what is given to me. "Thank you so much, I didn't expect that this day will come, I'm still surprised, sometimes I thought I was just dreaming, because I really didn't think this would happen to me," I said and my tears start flowing down now. Navi stopped eating and attended to me, stroking her hand where the engagement ring she had given me was. "Either I, I also thought I was dreaming, I thought you would never come back to me, I thought everything was really over for us, and then this happened." I stopped wiping my tears because Navi wiped my tears. "I love you, I really do. My feelings for you never change, what you left me before, everything is still there. And if you're ready to go back to it, my heart is open for you, anytime My heart and feelings for you have never closed, Kourtney." I hugged Navi tightly, closed my eyes and buried my face in his shoulder. "I still love you very much."