You'll miss me when I'm gone

CHAPTER TWO: The Girl Who Keeps Trying Nila decides that this year will be different. She wants Remire to notice her. Not as the little girl who has followed him around since childhood. Not as the friend he casually calls “sis.” She wants him to actually see her. She wants him to look at her and say the words she has secretly dreamed about for years. You are beautiful. So she begins her campaign. Every morning, Nila stands in front of her mirror longer than usual. She tries different hairstyles, changes outfits and chooses the prettiest clothes she owns. Finally, she looks at herself and smiles. “Today, he is going to notice me.” The next morning, Remire walks past her. “Morning, sis.” Nila's smile freezes. “Morning.” He keeps walking. She watches him disappear around the corner. Sis? She sighs. “Why?” But Nila refuses to give up. If dressing well does not work, maybe intelligence will. During lectures, she suddenly becomes one of the most active students in class. The lecturer asks a question. Her hand shoots up. “Yes, Nila?” She answers correctly. “Excellent.” Nila immediately looks behind her. Remire is sitting two rows away. Their eyes meet. He smiles and gives her a thumbs-up before returning to his notes. Nila turns back around with a tiny smile. Okay. A thumbs-up is something. Whenever the school organizes social activities, Nila somehow finds herself participating. Especially when Remire is involved. If Remire joins a basketball event, Nila suddenly loves basketball. If he attends a school gathering, she attends too. Her best friend, Betty, eventually catches on. One afternoon, Nila rushes toward the basketball court while Betty follows behind her. “You don't even like basketball,” Betty says. Nila stops. “I like it now.” Betty raises an eyebrow. “You didn't know what a free throw was last week.” “I have grown.” Betty rolls her eyes. “You have grown because of Remire.” Nila looks away. “Don't say his name so loudly.” “You are hopeless.” “I know.” At the basketball court, Remire is already playing. He is the captain of the team and one of the best players in school. He moves confidently across the court, calling plays and making difficult shots look effortless. Nila watches from the sidelines. When he scores a three-pointer, she jumps. “GO, REMI!” Remire glances toward the crowd. Nila waves both hands. “COME ON, REMI!” Betty covers her face. “You are embarrassing yourself.” “I don't care.” The game ends with Remire's team winning. Nila immediately rushes toward him with a bottle of water and a clean towel. “Here.” Remire looks at the items, then at her. “You came prepared.” “Of course.” He takes the water. “Thanks, sis.” Nila's smile drops. Sis. “You're welcome.” He drinks, then hands the bottle back. “You're a lifesaver.” Her heart lifts. Then he adds, “Good looking out, sis.” Her heart crashes again. Remire walks away. Nila stares after him. “I even brought the good towel,” she whispers. Betty bursts out laughing. “Don't laugh.” “I am sorry.” “No, you're not.” “Definitely not.” The next morning, Nila tries something else. Makeup. She carefully fixes her brows, applies a little makeup and adds lip gloss. She studies herself in the mirror. “Beautiful.” She pauses. “Okay. Cute.” That should be enough. When she enters class, she notices Remire looking at her. Her heart jumps. He walks over. “Nila.” She straightens. “Yes?” He studies her face. Then he smiles. “You look good today.” Nila's eyes brighten. “Really?” “Yeah.” He nods. “Good job, sis.” Her soul nearly leaves her body. She watches him walk away. “Why does he keep doing this to me?” Betty pats her shoulder. “Because he sees you as his sister.” Nila groans. Still, she keeps trying. Love makes sensible people do foolish things. It makes confident girls become nervous around one particular person. It makes Nila spend twenty minutes choosing an outfit just to hear one man call her “sis.” But one afternoon, she decides she has had enough. She is going to tell Remire exactly how she feels. She finds him outside the lecture hall. “Remire.” He turns. “Nila?” “Can I talk to you?” “Sure.” He walks closer. “What is it?” Nila's palms become sweaty. She swallows. “I've been meaning to tell you something.” “Okay.” She takes a breath. “I like you.” Silence. Remire blinks. “You like me?” She nods. “Yes.” He stares at her for a moment, then laughs softly. “Oh, sis.” Nila's face falls. “I am serious.” “I know.” He shakes his head. “But we're friends.” Nila looks away. “Right.” “Good friends.” She forces a smile. “Yeah.” “No hard feelings?” “No.” He pats her shoulder. “Don't make things awkward.” Then he walks away. Nila stays there. Her eyes burn. She refuses to cry in front of him. When he disappears, she whispers, “I love you.” Her voice trembles. “I really love you.” She wipes her eyes. “Why don't you see me?” But rejection does not always make people leave. Sometimes, it makes them try harder. And Nila keeps trying. Even though Remire already has a girlfriend. Kelsie. Beautiful, confident and popular. Kelsie knows exactly how Nila feels about Remire. One afternoon, she approaches Nila with two of her friends. “Nila.” Nila turns. “Hi.” “We need to talk.” Nila already knows what this is about. Kelsie folds her arms. “You know Remire is my boyfriend.” “I know.” “Then stop chasing him.” “I am not chasing him.” One of Kelsie's friends laughs. “You follow him everywhere.” Nila's cheeks burn. Kelsie sighs. “Look, I don't want problems with you. Just respect the relationship.” Nila says nothing. Kelsie walks away. For a moment, guilt fills Nila's chest. Then she sees Remire across the courtyard. He smiles at something his friend says. Nila smiles too. And the warning disappears beneath her feelings. Maybe one day. That little hope keeps her trapped. Then one evening, something changes. Remire sits alone after basketball practice. He remembers everything Nila does whenever he is around. The cheering. The water bottles. The towels. The makeup. The nervous smiles. He knows she likes him. He also knows how much she trusts him. A selfish thought enters his mind. Why not use that? He picks up his phone. He calls her. Nila is lying on her bed when her phone rings. She looks at the screen. Remire. Her eyes widen. She answers immediately. “Hello?” “Hello, girl.” Nila smiles. “Hi.” “You busy?” “No.” “Good.” He pauses. “Dinner?” Nila freezes. “With you?” Remire chuckles. “Who else?” Her heart races. “Okay.” “Tonight?” “Tonight?” “Yeah. Seven.” “I'll be there.” “Good.” The call ends. Nila stares at her phone. Then she jumps off the bed. “He asked me out!” She rushes to her wardrobe. Nothing looks good enough. She throws one dress onto the bed. “No.” Another. “No.” Then she finds one of her most beautiful dresses. She holds it against herself. “This.” She also opens the expensive perfume she has been saving. One spray. Then another. She smiles. “Perfect.” She spends extra time doing her hair and makeup. Tonight feels different. Tonight, she thinks, Remire finally sees her. At exactly seven, she arrives. Then she sees him. Nila stops walking. Remire looks incredible. His clothes are expensive and perfectly fitted. His hair is neatly styled, his watch catches the light and his perfume reaches her before he does. Nila stares. Remire smiles. “Nila.” She blinks. “Hmm?” He walks toward her. “You look beautiful.” Her heart stops. He actually says it. The words she has waited years to hear. Beautiful. He opens his arms. “Come here.” Nila walks into the hug without hesitation. For those few seconds, everything she has ever wanted feels real. When they pull apart, Remire smiles. “Ready?” Nila nods. “Very.” They sit down for dinner. Nila barely touches her food. She keeps looking at him. Remire notices. “What?” “Nothing.” “You keep staring.” She blushes. “Sorry.” He laughs. “You're cute when you're nervous.” “I am not nervous.” “You are.” She smiles. For once, he does not call her sis. That tiny detail makes her heart soar. The conversation flows easily. Remire asks about her classes, her dreams and her plans. Nila answers everything. Every question feels like proof that he finally cares. When she laughs, he smiles. When she becomes shy, he leans closer. Nila feels herself falling even deeper. She does not notice that Remire's attention has an agenda. She only sees what she has wanted to see. At one point, Remire reaches across the table and takes her hand. Nila's breath catches. “You trust me, right?” She doesn't hesitate. “Of course.” That answer comes too quickly. Remire smiles. “Good.” Nila squeezes his hand. She feels like the luckiest girl alive. The girl who has spent months cheering at basketball games. The girl who answers questions in class. The girl who changes outfits just to impress him. The girl who confesses her feelings and gets rejected. Tonight, she believes all of it has finally paid off. She believes love has finally turned around and chosen her. But Remire's thoughts are somewhere else. He watches her smile and sees how completely she trusts him. He knows she has no idea what he intends to do next. Nila smiles across the table. Remire smiles back. Two people sit beneath the same warm lights, sharing the same dinner. But they are living inside two completely different stories. For Nila, this is the beginning of the love story she has dreamed about since childhood. For Remire, it is an opportunity. And Nila is walking willingly toward it. She has no idea that the person she trusts most is about to become the person who hurts her the most. Yet tonight, she is happy. And sometimes, happiness arrives just before the storm.