Before We Fell

Chapter 1 – The Return “Damn it — of course, the weather has to be as bad as my mood.” I could hear the rain and wind rattling the roof of my one bedroom apartment. The trip to the airport was going to be a hectic one at this point, but I had to be there. I couldn't miss Naila's wedding for anything. She has always been there to support and encourage me throughout these years. I love that girl. I sat by the window watching and waiting for my Uber driver to arrive and couldn't help but feel a pinch at spending money for an Uber instead of a bus to the airport. I sat there lost in thought, trying and failing not to think about what awaits me when I reach New York. The drive to the airport was quiet – too quiet. I watched the car drift past the buildings and places I had come to call home. My chest tightened. I wondered if I could demand the driver to turn back, but instead, I clenched the seat belt as I could feel my hands shaking. “Ma'am we're here” the driver's voice jolted me out of my thoughts, sighing when I realised I was zoning out again. I grabbed my luggage and went to get myself a cup of coffee, which is much needed for this long flight. “Hello ma'am, please feel free to place your order.” The young blonde clerk behind the counter was looking at me like I didn't belong there. Smiling slightly “black coffee,please. “No sugar” “Thank you” I said as I walked out with my drink. I had just settled in the waiting area when my phone started vibrating. I really didn't want to be having any human interactions at the moment. Taking a deep breath, I dug it out of my bag. Groaning when I saw Naila's name flashing on the screen, I hesitated a little bit but eventually swiped to answer. “Hello?” her voice is bright and chirpy as usual “you're still coming, right?” “Of course I'm coming.” The reluctance in my voice could be felt from miles away. “I'm already at the airport, flight's in a few.” “Oh that's great.! Actually, there's something I forgot to tell you-----” My stomach dropped. It's never something good “spit it out Naila what did you forget?” I could hear her exhale through the line, “well you know----uuuuhm James will be attending the wedding” For a moment, I couldn't hear anything besides the thumping of my heart. The life and bustle at the airport seemed to have come to a stand still. James. The name echoed in my mind—the name I'd spent all these years trying so hard to forget. I tried to breathe, but I could feel my chest constrict, memories I had locked away came flooding back, and I could do nothing but let them swallow me whole. “Hey you there?” Naila asked Taking a deep breath “yeah,okay. That's-----good to know he will be coming.” I grimaced. What else was I supposed to say? “Hey I'll be hanging up” i added quickly “Wait------” I ended the call before she could finish. I sat there, phone clenched in my hand, recalling a past I didn't want to remember, how happy we were, his chestnut hair and blue eyes that felt like he would see right through me. And how it had all ended-----how we drifted so far apart. I took a sip of my now cold coffee, hoping the bitterness would drown the ache. It didn't. Why hadn't Naila told me earlier? Maybe she thought I wouldn't come and I can't blame her, maybe I wouldn't. I exhaled and looked around the waiting area —families hugging and kissing each other goodbye,others whispering promises they wouldn't keep. Everyone seemed to be going somewhere. I guess I was, too. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final boarding call for Flight 237 London to New York City. Please proceed to Gate 11 for immediate boarding.” The shrill voice of the airport staff crackled through the overhead speaker. I stood up and grabbed my luggage, a mix of emotions swirling inside me.