White Alabasters

" Water so vast isn't stagnant, Wave surging isn't valedictory enough, Yet reminiscence of each whirlwind continues to be remembered by the Blue sea "-- Hi this is Axis a name about which the world revolves around. The most important thing in my life is academic excellence to be precise grades. SELFISH right!!!! I give full affirmation to this inference but the people who thought the other way must give some time to their loved ones. No !!! I am not a hypocrite but in this life time we all are holding on to a card against humanity . Being judgemental helps us sketch an extrapolation but acceptance gives us free will . Even after determining that grades should be the most important factor of my life, I never left hold of things which brought me TEMPORARY happiness like watching dramas and movies with wholehearted enthusiasm and restless curiosity. Temporary because in my view happiness is like the sunlight with a source and appears for a fixed period. Whereas the darkness of sorrow is like the incessant dull space which is eternal and infinite. My words foreshadowing my life , my life can be described in two words ABOVE AVERAGE !!! let me get this straight, I did not face any poverty or despair in brutal sense. But hold your horses, I am not a person lacking the sense of gratitude for the blessings of life. Instead I want you to understand that as AVERAGE is popularly considered the best of both worlds , let me state that if my credibility is firm as thoughts , ABOVE AVERAGE is the worst of both worlds cause it induces the yearning for greater conquer. Let me prove my hypothesis with an example. In a school , people basically consider the first and last bencheurs. The first benchers aka the scholars who have the highest score, the exposure of their marks is met with applauds and praises . They quarrel with the teachers for half or quarter marks on their test sheets and who still can't make satisfactory progress. And the back benchers! ( ha..ha..ha..hilarious I am literally laughing while writing this) who pass the exams by the skin of teeth and enjoy their lives as tomorrow is the day of apocalypse. They are scared to the extent to pee in their pants on the day of PTM. But there is more to this , as an above average student I never liked seeing my marks, I wanted to extend the schrodinger's cat period. On the PTM I was confident on the subjects in which I scored well but as for the difficult subjects, I found myself in extreme trauma, depression and guilt. I even sometimes lied to my classmates and family about my results. OK MOST TIMES. The biggest aim as well as remorse of my life was securing the first position in my class at least, leave out all the sections for now. I never ever got the title of first ranked to my name and always hanged between the first five places. Once on minor test , I scored the highest, the person who came first mocked me infront of all the teachers and students, " Axis scored only half a mark higher than me on a minor test last time but this time , I scored 20 marks more. This is my determination and hardwork." I was humiliated and insulted. These two words have stained the pages of my life in more depths than can be measured.