the story that never became a chapter

IAN “Ronnalyn, wait for me here. Kuya will buy some ice cream, okay?” My little sister nodded. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw her happy face. She was even jumping with excitement. She really loved ice cream, but I couldn’t buy it for her every day. I still had to earn money just to buy the things she wanted. “Okay, Kuya Ian.” “Good.” I patted my six-year-old little sister on the head. She just giggled. I quickly turned away from her and headed across the street. I checked if there were any cars passing by. When I realized there were none, I crossed the road and went to the ice cream vendor. “Manong, two chocolate flavors, please,” I said as soon as I reached his cart. “For your sister?” he asked. I nodded and glanced at Ronnalyn. She was waving her hands from the side of the road, so I waved back. “What’s her name, son?” Manong asked cheerfully. “Ronnalyn,” I replied. When he handed me the ice cream, I immediately gave him my loose change as payment. I happily looked back toward where Ronnalyn was on the other side of the road. I was about to walk toward her when a car suddenly crashed right at her exact location. I couldn’t move my legs when I saw the blood spreading across the road. I could barely breathe. The noise around me was deafening, and as the seconds passed, more and more people gathered around where the car had stopped. It took a few moments before everything finally sank in. I dropped the ice cream I was holding and ran toward the crowd. My world collapsed when I saw Lyn’s body drenched in her own blood. “L-Lyn… Lyn!” I ran to her, about to pull her into my arms, when an old man stopped me. My whole body was shaking—especially when Lyn opened her eyes and moved her hands. She was trying to reach for mine. “She’s still breathing! Call an ambulance!” someone shouted. I didn’t know what to do. I looked at the vehicle that had hit her when I heard its door open. A large-built man stepped out, clutching his head. His hair was messy, his clothes disheveled. Blood was trickling from his forehead. And one thing was certain—he was drunk. “MR. ANDRADA!” I woke up from that nightmare when a shout echoed through the classroom. My classmates laughed when they saw me stand up abruptly. The angry face of our professor came into view. "Out!” “Out, sir?” I asked without thinking. The laughter inside the classroom only grew louder, which made the professor even more furious. “Yes. Get out!” “Okay, sir!” I said cheerfully. I grabbed my bag and walked toward the front where the door was. One last time, I looked around the room. My gaze stopped in Song’s direction—he was smiling at me. He secretly waved his hand. I shook my head before finally stepping outside. “Mr. Andrada! Don’t expect me to pass you in my subject!” the professor shouted after me, but I didn’t bother to respond. I am currently studying Civil Engineering—a five-year course that I consider one of the heaviest burdens in my life. I didn’t really have a choice when I enrolled in this program. It was what my foster parents wanted for me before. I had no choice but to continue. As long as I’m enrolled, I don’t really care if I fail my subjects. The only reason I’m here is to play basketball. This school offers a lot of opportunities for that. I am one of the varsity scholars, so I have the privilege of studying at Southern Lake University, one of the most prestigious universities in the country. I don’t need to work to support my daily needs. Every month, I receive an allowance because of my scholarship. They give me more than enough. Sometimes it makes me wonder why, since other varsity scholars don’t receive this much. According to the Dean, it’s because I was one of the students who got a sponsor when a couple once visited the school and wanted to sponsor students who were in need. I’m alone in life. I’m an orphan. I was twelve years old when a couple adopted me. They had to adopt because they couldn’t have children of their own. I thought I could finally have a family. Unfortunately, my foster mother got pregnant, and after that, they abandoned me. I went to our usual hangout since we didn’t have anything else to do. I found Aaron there, playing a mobile game. He’s a member of the basketball team just like me. We became friends because of that. He glanced at me before returning his attention to his phone. “Lyn just got here. She said she’ll just wait for you at the cafeteria,” he said. Instead of responding, I lay down on the long sofa and continued sleeping. I rested my arm over my eyes as I remembered the nightmare I had earlier. My heart skipped a beat every time I heard her name. Lyn. How ironic. They share the same nickname. Avalyn Manahan—my girlfriend for seven years. We’ve been together since Grade 10. She was a former basketball player in the Girls Basketball League. I don’t know why she quit, and for some reason, I don’t want to know. I stopped myself from finding out what had been going on in her life for the past three months. I avoided her and diverted my attention to other things. I could feel my chest starting to tighten. I love her. I really do. It’s just that I can’t be with her right now. My drowsiness disappeared when I heard my phone vibrate. I immediately checked it. I didn’t feel like getting up when I saw Missy’s text. Missy is someone who knows my story. She’s more than a friend, but not a lover. We’ve been in touch for more than two months now. I can tell her all my problems, and she’s always there to give advice. I am using her to hurt Lyn—and she knows that. She knows very well that I don’t have feelings for her. She’s just doing this with me for her own fun. Are you free? That was her message. I immediately called her. “Hey!” she greeted excitedly. “I’ll be there at 1:00 p.m.” “Great! I’ll wait for you.” I stood up quickly and went to the mirror to look at myself. I heard Aaron let out a deep sigh. “You’re such a jerk, dude. Lyn is waiting for you.” I froze at what he said. I secretly clenched my fist. After a few moments, I forced a smirk. “Tell her I’m busy.” I quickly made my way out of the campus. I was already outside when I noticed a familiar car pulling over not too far away. I couldn’t stop myself from clenching my jaw when I saw my little sister’s murderer. The school director happily welcomed him and shook his hand. I turned my back to avoid him as my breathing grew heavy. I clenched my fists, forcing myself to calm down. I laughed bitterly, unable to believe why all of this was happening to my life. Maybe I’m being punished. Who would have thought that the man who murdered my sister was Avalyn’s biological father? Yes, he is Avalyn’s biological father. The woman I loved for seven years is the daughter of the man who killed my sister. The world is unfair, isn’t it? He’s now walking freely after fifteen years in jail. He should rot in prison. Only then would I be happy. I let out a deep sigh. I looked at my phone again when it rang, thinking it was Missy. My face went blank when I saw Lyn’s number. She doesn’t have a name saved on my phone. I know her number—why bother saving it? I declined the call so I’d have a reason later. After slipping my phone back into my pocket, I glanced to my left. A girl caught my attention. I frowned when I saw her fixing some papers while walking in the middle of the road. Is she crazy? In the middle of the street? She’s going to get herself killed doing that. A few moments later, a strong gust of wind passed by, causing some of the things she was holding to scatter. She immediately chased after them. I was about to help her when I noticed a car approaching her. At the speed it was going, it seemed like it had no intention of stopping. I felt my breathing grow heavier. Once again, memories of what happened before came rushing back. “Lyn!” I shouted instinctively. I ran toward the woman and wrapped my arms around her. The next thing I knew, we were falling onto the road, followed by my groan. Damn! “Oh my! I’m sorry, kuya!” I felt the woman quickly get up. She kept apologizing over and over. We both looked toward the middle of the road, where her papers were now scattered. “Your papers,” I said without thinking. “I-It’s okay. I’ll just print them again. Are you okay?” she asked, concerned. I winced as I felt a sharp pain in my arm. “I-I’m alright.” I froze for a moment as I realized I had unconsciously said Ronnalyn’s name earlier. That memory returned when I looked at the woman who had almost been run over. “I-I’ll take you to the hospital!” she uttered. Instead of replying, I just stared at her. She stood at around five feet tall, with pale white skin, big eyes, and kissable lips. Even though she was a mess, she was still beautiful in my eyes. She was wearing the university’s ID—it meant she was a student here. She noticed my strange stare. A few moments later, she was staring back as well, and it lasted for a full minute. “Ian?” I snapped back to reality when she called me by my name. “You know me?” She blushed and shyly nodded. “O-Of course. You’re known all over the campus.” I grinned. We stood up since people around us were already staring. “By the way, I’m Mildred,” she introduced herself, extending her hand after dusting herself off. I immediately took her hand. " ian andrada at your service " AVALYN I scanned the entire cafeteria, but not even a shadow of the person I wanted to see caught my eye. Will he come? My shoulders slumped when I noticed the happiness on every student’s face around me. It felt like they had no problems in life. Sometimes, I want to envy them. I want to worry only about academics, laugh with my friends, or go to places I want to visit. I want to live my life to the fullest. People say everything in life happens for a reason, and that God has a better plan for why He lets things happen. Sometimes, I can’t bring myself to believe that saying. It has always been hard for me to live this life. It’s exhausting. It’s like every day you see no light. It also gets tiring to look for reasons to live, to find someone to lean on, to find someone who will hold on to you until the end. Is there really a person who won’t give up on you—no matter what it takes? Someone who gets to experience that must be very lucky. They must be very happy, right? As for me? Yes, maybe I experienced that once. But I know I’ll never experience it again. Everyone is always giving up on me. Even before they try. Even when I’m the one holding on tightly. They will still let go. I turned my attention to my phone to check if Ian had replied to my texts. My chest grew heavier when I saw that he still hadn’t responded. Maybe he’s just busy. They’re graduating, after all. Ian has been my boyfriend for seven years. He’s a basketball player at our school—also one of the most admired. People say I’m lucky to be the girlfriend of Ian Andrada. Aside from being good at basketball, he’s undeniably handsome. That’s why many girls chase after him even though they know he already has a girlfriend. Others say I’m too desperate. They say it’s obvious that Ian is already tired of our relationship, yet I still refuse to let go. Sometimes I just laugh. I don’t deny what they say. They are almost right. “Ms. Manahan?” I stood up when one of my professors approached me. “Good noon, Ma’am.” “I just want to inform you about your exam. I’ll give you a chance to take it. I’ve already spoken with your parents about this and about the reason you were absent last week.” I nodded dully. “Alright, Ma’am. Thank you.” She placed a hand on my shoulder as if to comfort me. “Next time, tell me about your situation. I’m here if you need my help.” “Yes, Ma’am. Thank you again.” I sat back down after she left. Her words echoed in my mind. Parents? It has been three months since the people who adopted me died. On the day of their wake, two couples suddenly appeared, claiming that they were my real parents. I didn’t know how to react. I don’t even remember their faces. I was only six years old when they left me without saying anything—without telling me when they would come back. At that moment, I wanted to throw everything back at them, to blame them for all the pain. But no words came out of my mouth. Maybe, in that moment, I wanted to give them another chance. I wanted to know the reason why they left me, and I wanted them to see that I survived even without them. I was still very young when I was diagnosed with a heart complication—heart failure. Because of that, my life was never normal. I couldn’t play with other children like everyone else. I couldn’t do everything I wanted. I couldn’t go to school, make friends, or play—things I desperately wanted but were denied to me by the world. Back then, I wasn’t complaining, because Mama and Papa were there to keep me strong. They were there so I wouldn’t feel lonely. Even though we were short on money, they never made me feel like something was missing. They gave me something not everyone has—a happy family. That alone was enough. I was content. They were always there for me, no matter what. That was what I believed then. I was only six years old at that time—too innocent to think about the problems of the world. Until one day, Mom visited me without dad. Just by looking at her face, I could tell she had been crying. I asked her where Papa was, but she didn’t answer. She only handed me the doll she was holding and fixed my hair. “lyn, mom and dad have to leave for a while. But when we come back, we’ll bring lots of toys—so many. You won’t be sad there, because there will be so many of them.” I wanted to say that I didn’t need lots of toys. They wouldn’t make me happy. What I needed was their presence. That was all. I didn’t wish for anything else. She hugged me tightly and finally let out the tears she had been holding back. I even forced myself to smile because of how strange they were acting. “M-Ma, I can’t breathe,” I joked. She pulled away from the hug and wiped her eyes. She fixed my hair again and smiled. “My child is so beautiful,” she said between sobs. I wanted to cry too, but I stopped myself. I had promised them that I would be strong until I finally got better. I wiped her tears. “Please don’t cry anymore.” A woman approached her. “We need to leave now.” Mama looked at me again. “You’ll behave, okay?” I didn’t respond. They were about to leave when I held her hand. For some reason, I didn’t want to let go. “You’ll come back with dad, right?” I asked her immediately. I saw her cover her mouth to stop herself from sobbing before she nodded. “Yes, with dad.” Those were the last words I heard from her. I knew she was lying. I knew she wouldn’t come back with him, yet I kept waiting. I still believed her lies. I checked the time and realized that Ian wasn’t coming. Lunch break was almost over. I bit my lip. I should be used to it by now, but even though Ian keeps doing this to me over and over again, it feels like I never learn. I looked up when someone stood in front of me and handed me a bottle of water. My lips parted when I saw Aaron—Ian’s friend. He looked at the lunchboxes on the table with pity. “Sorry. He said he couldn’t come.” I know. I know he won’t come. “It’s okay. I can finish all of this by myself,” I forced a smile. He patted my shoulder before excusing himself and returning to their group of friends. I was left looking down at my seat, trying to hide the tightness in my chest. It’s also been three months since Ian started treating me coldly. We were fine before. He was there when I needed someone to lean on. He didn’t leave me during the first days after the death of the people I considered my parents. He only started to grow cold after their wake. Slowly, he changed, until one day, he was just distant. I want to understand him, which is why I still refuse to let go. After all, he is my only reason to live. I want to keep living because of him. I want to be with him until my last breath. That’s the only thing I can do for him. I clutched my chest when it suddenly tightened. My vision blurred. After a few moments, my heartbeat slowly returned to normal—just as someone sat down across from me. I was about to say that the seat was taken when he started eating my food. My mouth fell open. A strange guy was eating my food. I should have been mad, but instead, I let him. I looked at him closely. He was wearing my former junior high school uniform. It wasn’t buttoned, revealing the black T-shirt underneath. He had good looks—he was handsome and familiar. He was taller than me, but his face looked young. I couldn’t tell if he just had a baby face or if he really was a high school student. And if he was, he shouldn’t be here. it “Why are you here?” I asked him. He looked at me innocently, his mouth full of food. He quickly grabbed the water Aaron had given me and drank it. “A-Are you okay?” I asked worriedly. “T-Thanks,” he said, coughing “Slow down,” I said, laughing. “Why are you here? Are you with someone?” Once again, he looked at me innocently. After a moment, he shook his head. “You,” he said softly. I frowned when he pointed at my chest—at my heart. “I am waiting for you.”