Ember

6 - Shamed by the beauty

Marco

Fuc.k!

I groan while looking at the woman asleep beside me. I don’t know her name, and I can’t recall asking for it. Last night is pretty much a blur, as most nights are. After a rehearsal with the band last night, I went to a bar in town. I had a few drinks, did a few lines, and obviously hooked up with the blonde next to me.

We must have come back to her place. I don’t recognize the room I’m in, and it’s way too girly to be mine. There’s too much pink and too much fluffy stuff around for my taste. I need to get out of here. I don’t do the morning-after bullshit. Jesus, I hope we used protection.

It would serve you right if you caught an STI from this woman, Marco, even more so if you knocked her up. You’ve never been so stupid as to not remember if you used protection. You’ve always used protection!

I climb out of the girl’s bed, careful not to wake her. I can’t stand it when that happens, all those awkward questions. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see the used condom on the floor - no nasty accidents for me.

One of these days, you won’t be so lucky, Marco. You need to clean up your act, and soon. The parties, the drugs, and the women are all well and good. But if you want to be famous and good at what you do, you can’t go on like this.

Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Parties, drugs, and girls?

God, what the hell have I become?

I don’t want to be known as the rockstar who partied too hard and burned out too soon. I want to enjoy my music career, but I don’t want to be the cause of the band’s breakup. That’s where we’ll end up if I don’t sort myself out soon.

How do I let go of the ghosts of my past?

Too many things still haunt me. I know I need to learn to let go; I just don’t know how.

I quickly get dressed, pick up my shoes, and leave without putting them on. I do that in the elevator. I don’t have a clue where I am, even when I stop outside the building. It’s the nicer side of town, I realize when I see the museum across the road.

I look back at the building and smirk. It’s a beautiful place; the girl must be loaded. I tuck my shirt into my jeans and then run my hands through my hair, trying to tame it a little. I decide to walk home; I could do with some fresh air. It’ll take me a while on foot, but I’m no stranger to walking home the morning after.

I walk past Clint’s, the hardware store in town, and right into Ember.

Shi.t!

I groan inwardly.

It would have to be now that I see Ember, wouldn’t it?

“Hey, beautiful,”

“Hi,” Ember tucks her long, loose hair behind her ear.

I smirk while shamelessly looking her up and down. Christ, she’s hot in those tight jeans and that black top with the push-up bra beneath. God, kill me now!

“Who’s your friend?” I hadn’t noticed the beauty standing beside Ember until now. She’s a pretty little thing with long brown hair, blue eyes, and a wide smile.

“Jessie, this is Marco. I told you about him,”

I try not to smirk at the fact Ember has been talking about me.

Jessie holds her hand out to me. I smile and take it, and she shakes vigorously. “Nice to meet you, Marco. I’m Jessie, Ember’s cousin.” A family of beauties, I see.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“And on that note,” Jessie smirks. “I’ll meet you inside, Ember.” She takes off before Ember can protest.

“She’s subtle.” I chuckle.

“Yeah,” Ember seems annoyed.

“Are you okay?” She nods. “Given any more thought to joining the band?”

Ember runs her tongue along her top teeth. “I had,” I smile because I have a good feeling. “I don’t know what you’re smiling at, Marco,” Okay, maybe the good feeling was wishful thinking. “I’m not sure I want to join a band with a man who acts the way you do.”

“Excuse me?”

What the fuc.k is she talking about?

I’ve done nothing to offend this woman.

“I’ve been around enough men in my life to spot a man-whor.e when I see one.” I raise my eyebrow and push my hands into the pockets of my jeans. “I can tell from the smell emanating from you that you drank too much last night. You most definitely had se.x with a random woman, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you took enough drugs to put out an elephant.”

Okay, I’ll admit that it’s probably apparent that I stayed out all night, and that I’d had a few drinks, but that I took drugs? The woman is smart, I’ll give her that.

I feel fuckin.g stupid. I can’t believe Ember called me out like that. I also can’t have her walking away from Dun’s Dungeon because of me. Colin would never forgive me.

“Don’t let my mistakes influence you, Ember.”

Ember sighs. “How you live your life is none of my concern, Marco. I’m sure it’s a lot of fun being you. But just remember that your behavior will reflect badly on the band.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod my head.

“If you guys do hit the big time, do you really want to be known as the f****d-up lead singer? Because you will be, Marco. Start as you mean to go on. Show the world the better side of you, Marco, because I know he’s in there somewhere.” She winks at me.

I don’t even know what to say to any of that. I am gobsmacked. No one has ever called me out the way Ember just did. I want to tell her to mind her own business, but she’s right. Everything Ember just said was right.

“I best catch up with my cousin.”

I nod in her direction, not knowing what to say. Ember has shamed me as no one has before.

Ember leans into me and kisses my cheek. I close my eyes and breathe her in. “See ya soon.” She whispers in my ear, and she’s gone before I even open my eyes.

Ember has given me food for thought. I can continue fuckin.g up my life to hide the pain within, or I can put what happened behind me and start to live.

Do you really want your ex to ruin your life, Marco? Hasn’t she taken enough from you?

Sasha took too much from me, including trust in other women. I don’t even keep women as friends, but Ember might just be the exception to the rule.

I smile all the way home. I smile while letting Rebel, my parent’s German Shepherd dog, out to do his business. I watched him for a few days while they were off doing whatever parents do when they take time for themselves. I do not like to think about it! I’ll drop him back to them later.

I smile while showering, and I smile while telling myself today is a new day. I’m not about to turn into a monk, but I don’t need to take every woman I meet to bed. I don’t need the drugs either, and I can cut back on the drink. Ember’s right, the band, has to come first. It’s time I started doing just that.