Ember

14 - I am done!

Ember

“Toby didn’t know you were my friend, Ember,” Sure, he didn’t. “I just want you to know that. When you brought him to meet me, and he saw who you lived with, it gutted both of us. I loved him so much, and he’d moved on with you.” She wipes a tear from her cheek.

“That’s why you acted like you couldn’t stand him when I brought him home?”

Lydia nods her head. “I was angry with him and upset that he was with you.”

I don’t know why I’m about to ask this question, but I want to know.

“How long was Toby with me before you two betrayed me?”

“It wasn’t like that, Ember,”

“Then what was it like?” I yell in her face.

Lydia swallows hard. “I tried so hard to push away what I felt for Toby, Ember. But the more I tried, the deeper I fell in love. I was happy for you; I swear that I was, but my heart was breaking. I couldn’t bear seeing Toby with you. It was killing me.

“Every time he and I were in the same room, I could feel the tension between us, and it made me even angrier. I couldn’t understand what was going on inside of me, Ember.”

My heart is beating so hard inside my chest that I’m scared I’ll throw up.

“You were together a month or so before we gave in,”

I close my eyes again. All these months, and they’ve been screwing behind my back.

How could I have been so blind?

“Toby asked if we could talk. He texted me, and I went over to his place. I thought he’d asked me there to tell me that the arguing between us had to stop. It was uncomfortable, and I knew it couldn’t have been easy for you. I knew Toby felt as awkward as I did every time the three of us were in the same room.”

“I’m taking it that didn’t happen?”

Why are you still engaging in this conversation, Ember? Do the where’s and why-fors really matter?

They don’t, but I need to know why.

“We talked, and he explained that he didn’t know who you were to me when he asked you out.”

“And it didn't bother you that he was still sleeping with me until a couple months ago?”

That is how long it’s been since Toby and I were intimate. But the idea that she didn’t care that he was still sleeping with me makes my stomach turn over.

“Of course, it bothered me, Ember. But I didn't say anything for a while. He was with you, and it was normal for him to be with you like that. But it hurt so much, and Toby promised he wouldn't have se.x with you anymore.”

I shake my head in disgust. Fuckin.g bitc.h! I don't even know what to say to that. But it only makes this whole thing even more ridiculous. Lydia was so pathetic that she would stand by while Toby and I slept together and then demand that he didn't. But the stupid woman didn't think they should come clean months ago!

What did I do to deserve this?

“We didn’t mean for things to happen, but I love him.” She lets go of a sob, and I run my tongue over my top teeth. I also clench my fists to stop myself from smacking her in the jaw.

I bite the inside of my cheek. “You betrayed me in the worst way, Lydia. Did you not think you could come to me and tell me how you felt? That soon into Toby and my relationship, right at the beginning, it would have hurt, but I would have understood. I would have stepped back and been happy for you.”

Lydia nods her head. “I know that, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”

That was the most ridiculous thing she could have said!

“Yeah? And how’d that work out for you?”

“I know what I’ve done, Ember, and I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m asking that you understand.”

I take a deep, frustrated breath.

Lydia doesn’t care how I feel. She’s only thinking about herself, but I shouldn’t have expected anything else. That’s the way it’s always been for her. Lydia is number one, and to hell with everyone else.

“If Toby were anyone else, I could have walked away. But Toby is the love of my life, and I couldn’t stay away from him. I know we should have told you long before you found out, but it wasn’t easy, Ember.”

“Of course it was!” I snap venomously. “Yet you chose to sleep with Toby behind my back. You did it where I live, Lydia! The whole time, he was lying to me also and making me believe we had a future together! Why the hell would he do that? More to the point, why would you allow him to?”

“Because I love you, and I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to hurt you! I knew the longer it went on, the worse things would be. It was driving me crazy, Ember. I was losing my mind with guilt!”

I shake my head. Nothing Lydia says will change what she did. She can stand here and tell me that she didn’t want to hurt me until the cows come home. The fact remains that she did hurt me. Lydia hurt me in the worst way. Whatever her reasons, there is never an excuse to cheat.

Lydia should have told me who Toby was the moment I told her about him. If she had and she’d told me who he was to her and how she felt about him, I would have walked away. I’d only just met the man, and I wasn’t in love with him at that time. I would have gladly stepped back and allowed them to love one another.

I’m done here. There is nothing more for either of us to say. “You’re welcome to him.” I nod erratically. “I hope you’ll be very fuckin.g miserable for the rest of your pathetic lives together! I hope he was worth our friendship, Lydia, because you and I are done. I promise you that.”

She sobs again, and I hate that it hurts to see her upset.

What the fuc.k is wrong with me?

Why the hell do I care that she’s upset?

“Are you going to tell my dad what I’ve done?”

“You manipulative bitc.h! You know how to pull at my heartstrings. You know I would never hurt you, and you’re using it against me!”

“I’m not!” She sobs again. “I’m just scared he’ll hurt Toby. Please, Ember.”

I take a deep breath and grit my teeth. “No, I’m not going to tell your dad or mine what you and Toby have done to me. Because unlike you, I give a shi.t about your feelings, and I would never hurt you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

If she says that one more time, I’ll rip her throat out with my bare hands!

Calm down, Ember. You have every right to be angry, but it won’t change anything now.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. Tony is not worth my tears, and nor are you. I’m leaving now, and I won’t be coming back here. My dad will collect my stuff in a few days.

“You and I are done for good, Lydia. You can bang on about how much you love Toby, all you like, but there is nothing you can say that will change this. I’ll think of something to tell my parents. Don’t worry; no one will hurt your boyfriend. I already told my dad that Toby and I broke up because I wanted to join Colin’s band. But if you, either of you, ever contact me again, I’ll make sure everybody finds out what a backstabbing whor.e you really are.”

“Please, Ember, we didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to fall in love...”

I close my eyes and shake my head. I don’t want to hear it. I’m a good person; I really am. I would never hurt anybody. I would never have given in to my feelings for Lydia’s man if I’d fallen for him. Not even if he was mine first. I would rather suffer in silence than cause this woman one ounce of pain. But she couldn’t stop herself from doing just that to me. That proves that our friendship meant very little to Lydia. Toby and Lydia didn’t care about anything but each other because they were selfish, and she’s ruined us forever.

“If I hear from you again, I’ll tell my dad exactly what Toby did, and I’ll stand back while he kills him!”

Lydia flinches and sobs. I can see in her eyes that she really loves Toby, and my heart breaks even further.

“I hope this haunts you for the rest of your life, Lydia. I hope you never find peace, and I hope that useless prick cheats on you! I hope you then feel the pain you have caused me. Go have your life with my ex. I just hope he was worth it.” I open the front door and walk away. I throw my case onto the backseat of my car and slam the door.

I can hear Lydia crying as she stands at the door, watching, but I don’t turn back. I’m in the car, the door slammed shut, and pulling away just as Toby pulls around the corner. I don’t look in his direction, and I don’t care whether he sees me or not. I don’t know where this road will lead me, but as long as it’s away from those two, I don’t care.