Tylar's Chest

This book is STRICTLY for LGBT only. Haha i'm joking. This is for anyone who wishes to read it. Whether you can relate to my struggles or if you are an ally, or maybe if you want to take this book to bible study and scream slanders at it. Eh, just do you. This book is about my life but put into words that i could only say in pictures, the formatting could be strange, and some references you might not get. Now that we're settled in, I'll let myself speak. ** Another day, another...day of dysphoria. Mirrors play tricks on me, they show me someone I can't recognize, someone who isn't and never will be me. In school, the teachers and students play this joke too, say a name that I haven't heard of,they call me she, as if I were. I tend to not correct them, I would look pretty mental telling a mirror to give me facial hair, and i'm sure i'd get judged by people for asking them to not call me that name. You know those rubix cubes where you are so close to matching all of the colours, yet there is always that one that refuses to stick to uniform? Yep, that's me in school and in my family everyday. I'm one of the many stray colours in the rubix cube, the ones that never let pressure get to us. School is just as hard as staying home with family that throws slanders at everything in-christian. My house has many closets, and gladly, I'm in one of them. School however, is a different story. Since schools are known for its strict "Boys only, Girls only" rule, someone like me shouldn't belong. Asking teachers if you can go by a preferred name ends in two reactions, a simple "alright, what is your real name?" or a "No, what's on our list is what I will call you." As far as I know, there is no in between. State tests in schools test your patience, and field trips make you want to scream. Sometimes you wish you could burst out of the closet in a rage of colours and shout to the top of your lungs who you really are, but really, the majority of us are terrified. I know I am. Once in school, this speaker came in, she was really energetic for someone talking to a bunch of 8th graders on a Monday morning. "Click the link and take this survey."She told us to pull out our phones and go on i********:, of course any chance to check my phone is a chance i'll take. I looked at the first question: What is your gender? That  question gives me shivers. I scrolled through the answers, to my hearts joy, it didn't stop at boy or girl. Nervously, I put in that i was male. What a weight lifted, for that moment only. Soon after, I snapped back in reality. I'm in school. I'm still a vampire to them. I'm still not me.