Project LOTUS: Beautiful Monster

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

Unexpected

MY MOUTH parted open as I stared at the jar she is holding. Its white ceramic glistened in the sunlight from the open window nearby.

Is this...?

"We decided for her to be cremated. Because I can't bear to see her in a coffin after all that happened in the autopsy," her voice is filled with intense grief and agony.

She embraced the ceramic jar as if it was a real person before she gently put it down in a coffee table near the sofa. Beside it is a picture frame of Vanessa, smiling at the camera; oblivious of how cruel her future has become.

My eyes drifted to the white jar. The image of Vanessa grazed my mind in a brief manner while staring at it. I never expected to see her again... not like this. Not when she is now reduced into ashes and inside of this tiny fragile container as if the life that she lived is just an illusion buried in our memories.

A sudden thought popped into my head while my eyes are fixated on it.

"Auntie Veronica, you said that... Vanessa's body has undergone autopsy, is that right?" My voice is barely a whisper as if scared that someone's gonna hear what I am about to ask.

She wiped the rogue tears on her face before answering me with a nod.

"Yes, the police authorities requested for the autopsy. But to be honest, I did not like the idea at first. The thought of her body being dissected and all repulse me. However, I also want to solve the mystery behind her sudden death so I allowed it in the end."

My eyebrows knitted before turning my head to face her.

"Mystery? What do you mean by that, auntie Veron?" My mind raised with so much thought before I could even finish what I am saying orally.

This is what I am talking about.

So did the authorities also found her death kinda odd?

She closed her eyes as new tears welled from her eyes again. I can see that she is in deep pain. I hate to interrogate them like this but... but I need to know. Because no matter how hard I am trying to hypothesize, I am still far behind the truth. Is still need to know more.

"The police said that there are no traces that will reveal the reason behind her death. They told me that they can't even say if it is suicide or murder. If then, it is a murder, there are still no supporting evidences that will solidify that conclusion. Besides, the only person with her that time was Cathrina so that will make her a suspect, right? But I find it preposterous. I cannot imagine Cathrina would even attempt or think to kill my daughter. They have been friends for years, she is the only friend that Vanessa had after she drifted away from you." Auntie Veronica glance at me briefly before returning her eyes on the jar.

I bit my lips while digesting every word she said. Cathrina is her only friend after she drifted away from us, huh? Maybe being a normal kid would automatically qualify as her potential friend. Unfortunately, we are freaks so we were automatically disqualified. What a shame.

I should be mad at her for all the stupid words she have said to me back then, no matter how childish it may sound. But right now, all I can ever feel is emptiness, I feel nothing. Like what I have always felt after my parents died.

But once that I found out that Vanessa's death was caused by an extraordinary force--perhaps the them. I am afraid that I might unleash the chained emotions deep within me. That the monster within me may wake up any moment.

I can even feel it stirring right at this moment. I can never accept that the people like me... those whom she called freaks, are actually the culprits behind this.

I was never really hurt when Vanessa called us freaks back then. I was more irritated than wounded by her words. Because I know that I am not what she called us, I am not a freak. Because a freak is something abominable and I am far from being like that.

My parents and the other founders of the project taught us how to utilize our skills in a helpful manner. They taught us to control it and the monsters inside us so we will be able to help society and not destroy it. But if the people responsible for her death are really also like me, too. Then, it is like they proved that Vanessa was right all along.

That probably, maybe... we are indeed, freaks ruled by the beasts within us.

"Arylle?" Auntie Veron gently held my pale hands. Her warmth spread through the coldness of my skin. Her gentle and sad eyes bore into my soul forcing me to withdraw from my thoughts.

"Are you okay?" She manage to ask me despite the obvious fact that between the two of us, she is the one who's not okay.

"Yeah. I'm just... surprised with what you said," I tried to reasoned out in a calm voice. "...you said that the cause of her death is a bit mysterious so you allowed the autopsy to happen. Then... did the autopsy actually help in solving the mystery?" I tried to sound as smooth and as indifferent as possible to not raise suspicions from her.

Her lips stretched into a grim line before withdrawing her hands from mine in order to caressed the vulnerable container of her daughter's ashes.

"It's kinda pitiful, but I guess they did not find an explanation. Well, at least not something that I would believe, anyway," she said and I swear I can almost taste the hint of bitterness from it.

"What do you mean, auntie Veron?" I have an idea but I need to confirm it.

"The autopsy report said that it was a heart attack. I told them that Vanessa has no history of any cardiovascular illnesses but they insist on saying that it was the official findings." Auntie Veronica shook her head as if to show her disappointments. "Vanessa is an athlete, everyone know how physically healthy she is. That is why I find it really hard to believe the cause of hear death," she said before biting her lips, probably trying to control the impending influx of emotions within her.

I understand where she is coming. It is not just because she is in denial of her daughter's death, no it is more than that. She knows that her daughter is gone. However, the premise and nature of Vanessa's death are what make it hard to digest.

Let's hypothetically say that it was really a cardiac arrest, but why did she has to die inside the green house and why did Cath acted so disoriented? Things just do not add up correctly.

-C. N. Haven-