Before I go, this is for you.

CHAPTER 1 -Avalon Wilson

That's me. This is an overview of my life. I'm 18, I was born and raised in Washington, Seattle. It's a pretty amazing place I must say, even for someone who has lived here her whole life.

My parents weren't your typical parents. I know that all teenagers feel like their parents aren't typically normal and that's fair but my parents are subtly toxic.

They lack affection, emotion, and attachment. Growing up was hard, I had depression and anxiety issues, I was always sad, spent most of my time in hospitals and doctors' offices. I have stage 3 Pancreatic Cancer, awesome right!.

I was diagnosed two years ago.

They caught it late that's why it's stage three already. Imagine being fine one day next you have cancer. Anyway, so I'm on chemo I stopped counting after about 13 rounds of it.

We didn't know if the chemo would work for me so my mom and dad decided it would be best if I stayed home for a year maybe until I've beaten cancer or maybe until cancer beats me so I spend my time flipping through books, jotting down my feelings, etc.

If I'm not at chemotherapy I'm at Starbucks observing things I like and people. I write them down in my Book of Observations. A big navy blue book I have had since I started chemo.

I love that place and its beverages. I have two best friends, Skyler Morgan and Brian Williams. We've known each other since kindergarten and they are the most amazing human beings a cancer patient could ask for, they don't treat me differently because I'm sick. I use that word a lot to remind myself that I am not normal anymore.

I've only had cancer for about two years now and it still feels unreal.

I've only ever had one boyfriend and he was just not worth any of the time I spent in that relationship. His name is Conray O'Malley.

He was devilishly handsome, very popular, and the love of my life, or so I thought.

We only dated for Two years but that felt like the longest two years of my life...

he was attracted to me but not attracted enough to actually make me feel like I wasn't some prize he could win second place for. I'm an emotional person and I come with a lot of baggage and you'll see what I mean as the story continues.