Salome descent to madness

My monsters are real... Salome hummed quietly, sitting on the back of a very uncomfortable bed. Her posture will make you think like she is just another intimidated animal locked in a cage without escape. There was only just a small difference - she was an adult woman kept there against her will. The bed itself was placed in the left, top corner of the room, near a huge window - typical for old Victorian-style buildings. If you could be there and look around, you'll see 5 more identical beds. Three of them were placed on the left side of the room and three more were placed opposite to them. All the beds have small bedside cabinets placed next to them. Well - we can as well call them cabinets, but they were mere carcasses and looked like they probably seen better times. Again, if you could be there, and you'll have some time to wander around, you'll probably see on every one of them spots where bits of paint were missing. Also, you'd probably notice after being there long enough how many layers of paint were already coated on them and every one of it was white. As per the usual time of the day, Salome heard just outside the door keys banging on each other. Turning the key in the lock and after that, a loud creek of opening doors followed. Outside, the window was not very dark yet, but the corridor was definitely better lit than this featureless room, and she had to squint her eyes to see clearly. How are you doing, love? - Nurse asked sarcastically, but she never heard a reply to this question. I am here to take you to the bathroom. It would be so nice of you if you would just follow and not make any scenes. We've been through this enough, and you know it - tricks will never end up good for you - nurse said calmly. It's driving me nuts - Salome discreetly looked around the room over again. - There is absolutely no way to escape... - the crushing reality imaginarly slapped her in the face, The girl felt exhausted, like her soul was slowly fading, or was it the medication that they were pumping into her over and over again? She decided to stay quiet today. There were many situations in the past where she would try to explain, she'd shout, cryied, tried to escape, fight, bite, kick. None of this helped. After all the lost battles, she would rather just sit there quietly, thinking of the past, than give herself even a pinch of false hope. All of this just brought one memory to her right now. It was the time when she was just a little girl. She might have been no more than 8 years old back then. Sitting in the same position with her back sticking to the wall, her knees were pulled close to her body, except back then she placed on her knees one of many books owned by her family. Which one did she have that time? Probably some story-book for the kids about some happy dog, or perhaps it was one of the school reads? Ever since she remembered she loved reading, so this memory did not surprise her at all. Instead, it brought warmth to her heart and the smallest, almost barely visible smile appeared on her face. Salome was afraid that the nurse who had just entered the room would notice that her lips twitched, and the corners turned slightly upwards, so she turned over to the window pretending that she had spotted something important behind it. After the last months of fighting with the personnel of this mad-facility, she preferred to remain in their minds as a person without expression, completely indistinguishable from the crowd, even transparent. Anyway, she has started to fade away from herself like that already. The girl took her time getting up and standing still. Quickly her mind skipped to the next memory, where Salome and her pack of closest friends would go around life dressed all in black. Wearing T-shirts of their favorite bands, in plaid flannel shirt wearing heavy, leather boots and with old military, square shaped green backpacks on their backs. Shoulder straps in them were very uncomfortable and cut deep into the skin, leaving red marks, but they didn't mind at all back then. Salome stood there wearing nothing more than an old patient's gown. Another quick flashback to her late teens when she switched to the Gothic style - long dresses, corsets, lace clothes and heavy, black makeup. Pentagrams, bats and candles everywhere. Now all that's left is a lot of it was body piercings and tattoos, nothing more. Imitation of a person... C'mon come closer at once! - snorted nurse with a slightly raised voice. She remembered the good ol' times, when she could give some of the patients a nice slap to put them in a place where they would cooperate nicely. Unfortunately, times have changed now and the best that she could do was some verbal abuses then and there. Alternatively, if things went south, she could press the little button chained to the belt loop on the back side of the jeans to call others to help her calm down the patient. But not today. Today she had a feeling that it might not be necessary as that stupid girl - for the first time in a long time - was just sitting there in agony. It just looked like they were finally making progress to break her. Nurse stood still and watched the girl. She thought to herself that Salome wasn't completely ugly, but didn't think that she could be some five-star Hollywood actress either. The girl was a little bit too chunky, not tall, long dark hair flowing messily down her chest and back. On the pale face she had eyes with the color of coal and those big, black rings underneath them. Surprisingly, she had all her teeth and no other body parts were missing. After the war, lots of people were kept in this asylum. Another wing of this building was dedicated to those who could not get over the fact that they were missing limbs after bombs/grenades/mines exploded at range to deprive them of body parts. For those who survive, phantom pain is commonly known and some of them will never recover. Some residents even cut off their limbs to receive disability benefits as the war was nearing its end. Unfortunately for them, there is no government anymore. No money... Well, there are still rules to follow, but there is no government to govern... Salome nodded to indicate that she was ready to be searched. She didn't understand why they have to go through this routine every time. In the past she used to desperately look for anything to help her somehow escape this room. If you were there, and you could see it by yourself, there was nothing in this room except beds with spongy mattresses and cabinets screwed into the floor. Many years ago, the drawers were taken out, and the screws were tightened very solid, and they were even painted on top with the same oil paint that was used on the walls. No human being would be able to unscrew this with bare hands. The room was over 2 meters high, and 3 small lamps were placed in a row in the middle of the ceiling, so unless you were a giant you wouldn't be able to reach them. Nurses came and went three times a day. They brought you what they called breakfast - protein pills, lunch - more pills and drip with saline, but for that, they would take you out to the common rooms and dinner - more pills. Salome missed the days when she could just go to the fridge and grab something to eat, THE REAL FOOD. Those days are long gone... And it is cheaper to produce pills and other substitutes than grow actual food. The nurse began giving instructions to first stand facing her, turn towards the window, then one leg up, the other leg up, pull up her gown, turn towards the nurse, lower her gown and stretch her arms to the sides so that she could see them. Finally, she took a step closer to check the neck and behind the ears, and to look at the hair. No wonder she didn't find anything there either - Salome thought maliciously. Then they started walking, Salome first and the nurse right behind her. Right after they left the room, they turned left. Salome counted 7 more rooms, 3 on the left and 4 on the right. Then they walked past two small common rooms, one on each side, and 8 more rooms arranged exactly the same as the previous ones. Then the nurses' room on the left, a small cafeteria on the right - only very well-behaved patients ate there - you might want to read it as those who were broken and given up, those who had given up hope of getting out of there for once and for all. No, Salome wasn't there yet, and she didn't hurry to be there. She heard her stomach growl as she smelled a little too much burnt bread - probably toast, and she could also see glasses filled with orange juice through the windows. She looked down and started staring at her bare feet to take her mind off the food. But the only thing that caught her mind were oranges - Salome could imagine them very well, almost like she could touch and smell them in her mind. Her childhood dream was to visit Spain to see orange trees with her own eyes. She was lucky and made this dream come true. When she was there, she walked from tree to tree, carefully studying the structure of these fruits, their color and smell. She touched the skin of the fruit, the twigs of the trees, and gently passed her fingers over the leaves. In her childhood, her family had a large garden with only boring trees and bushes such as apple trees, plums, peaches, probably a pear, but she wasn't so sure about it now. There were red, black and white currants, gooseberries, green grapes, raspberries and strawberries. Her mother also grew small amounts of carrots, parsnip, sorrel, and lovage. But oranges and other citrus fruits do not grow in their climate. Maybe it was very hot in the summer, but it was also very cold in the winter. Being close to the sea helped to ease the climate during the seasons, but such plants would not survive even one year there. In fact, it was even a bit funny to her now. These oranges were exactly the same as in the store, maybe a little smaller - less packed with preservatives. Salome preferred to keep it as a pleasant memory. It could be you, you know? - The nurse announced loudly. - Who knows, maybe one day... - she continued chatting as they continued to walk down the broad corridor. Behind the nurses' rooms, on the left side, were women's bathrooms and, on the right side, for men's. The protocol was always the same - after entering, Salome had to take off her gown, wet her body in the shower and wash herself with the smallest bar of soap she had ever seen. All of it under the close supervision of one of the nurses who was on duty that day. Now Salome has been there long enough to know not to put too much soap on one area of ​​the body because it disappears so quickly that there wouldn't be enough to wash the whole body. Rinse. The nurse handed over a towel and took it back as Salome dried off. After that, she quickly got dressed, because it wasn't very warm in the room, she felt goosebumps spreading all over her body. Brushing teeth was the most disgusting part of the bathroom routine because toothbrushes were for general use. That means everyone used the same ones. The nurse would hand you one with a pea-sized piece of toothpaste, then she would take it away and put it in a cup filled with boiling water mixed with some antibacterial solution. Seriously?! - Salome snorted inaudibly - Do prisoners have to endure such disgusting practices? The nurse handed her the hairbrush and took it away again after brushing what was once a beautiful, shiny ponytail. Salome missed her shampoo, hair mask and hair conditioner, oils and other hair food. A long time ago, she used to spend a lot of time on hair care, and she knew perfectly well that brushing wet hair was an absolute no-go. This often made her angry. All this sourness led to her trying to push her luck with various things here. She tried to strangle the nurse with her gown, but unfortunately, the nurses' station was too close and others heard the screams, and Salome had to be calmed down with an injection. She also tried to feed the nurse soap, but again the nurses' station was too close. She even once wanted to swallow the soap herself to end her misfortune, but she couldn't do it. Ultimately, such actions always ended with a sedative injection and a few nurses dragging her back to the room. But even that didn't stop her from trying her luck in an act of extreme desperation to try and hurt herself and others with a toothbrush/hairbrush. But after all this time, she has learned that he is not a murderer. She is not a suicide either. Although she would love to have the courage to do it, there was nothing waiting for her in this life. She lost everything. Everything was in vain. While standing in the shower under a weak trickle of water flowing down her body, she realized hard, that her body had begun to weaken. She had lots of bruises from the jabs, her muscles hurt and washing her body was really tiring. Her brain was foggy from over-injecting Hydroxyzine. The first sedatives kept her in bed for several days, and she used to be dragged back and forth like a rag doll. After a while, when the doses were smaller, it only knocked her down for a few hours. But the worst part was the headache after the medicine started to wear off. Eventually, every day began to look the same. I literally feel like a zombie - Salome felt sorry for herself - I need to learn how to regain clarity of mind. I had to behave so that I didn't get those shots again - her mind was sailing away to yet another memory as they walked back to the room. She knew this route perfectly well, she counted her steps so many times and knew that she had never walked more than 115 steps from the bathroom to the bedroom door. So far, she has been lucky to be kept in the room alone. They keep many madmen in this place. She definitely wasn't one of them.!