When Two Worlds Collide

Maybe you are not a dream. Maybe you are a reality. I can clearly remember your back, the firmness of your shoulder, how you walk, the color of your shirt, your height, and your smell. Why don’t you want to face me? I want to see your face. I want to see how you look like. Are you, my soulmate? My destiny? Are you, my reality? Oh my gosh. I can’t wait to see you with my eyes wide open. But it seems like you just exist with my eyes closed. You just exist in my dreams. “Wait!!! Who are you? Why do you always want to be my mystery? Show your face. Hey! I am talking to you!”, Samara shouted in her dream while sighing and sweating cold. While is about to touched him, a ray of sunlight just flashed on her face that made her wake up. It’s already 10 o’clock in the morning and her mom opened the curtain. Her dream was in cliff-hanger again. Samara had this dream since she was five years old. Same boy from his childhood dreams who grew as well together with her and until now that she’s 20. Since she was a child, she already dreamt of this boy who was playing with her whether in their house, kid’s playground, in the forest, and even in water falls. She was enjoying her company. At first, she didn’t mind that she couldn’t show his face. But as they grow together in her dreams, her feelings grew for him as well that made her eager to see his face. She’s hoping that maybe this man is a real person whom she needs to find. She wants to meet him so bad. “Samara! You need to wake up. It’s already past 10 in the morning. You’ll get more depressed if you will isolate yourself again in this small room and sleep all day!”, Sarai, her mom said to her since she is concerned of her daughter because Samara locked herself up in her room for already a month. Samara were forced to travel back in her province since lockdown started and she lost her job. At the same time, she took a gap year for her college degree since she cannot afford to pay her tuition fee for the meantime. She doesn’t want her parents to pay for all her bills because she thinks that they are already old and whatever they earn from their farm, they should keep it for emergency purposes. She is a very kind girl and she loves her parents dearly even though she doesn’t talk that much to them. Samara is being described as a helper and because she loves helping people, she doesn’t want to ask for help whenever she needs it. She just wants to figure things out on her own because she doesn’t want to become a burden to anyone. “Good morning my dear,” Nandru, her dad greeted her as she walks down the stairs with her messy hair. “Good morning dad”, Samara answered back with a smile on her face as she kissed her father’s cheek and hug him on his back. Nandru is very much concerned with his daughter. As much as possible, he doesn’t want his unica ija to work or study for away but he doesn’t want to be strict to her as well. He knows that his daughter is responsible and already old enough. He knows that his daughter is an independent girl and doesn’t want to burden anyone. While he fully understands his daughter, he is worried at the same time since Samara was not able to talk to them in a month and just stayed in her room for a month. If she will go out, it will just be for her bath time or meal time. He wants to find out what’s wrong with her but he is sure that Samara will not open it up to them. The family ate together while Sarai is trying to set the atmosphere to have a heart-to-heart talk with their daughter. “How’s your sleep baby?” Sarai asked their daughter while enjoying the garlic rice with sausage and egg. “It’s great mom. I have a very good and deep sleep”, Samara answered with slight smile but with a mysterious eye. You can read on her eyes the confusion and the eagerness at the same time because of a man he never met for 15 years. Her father saw that look in her eyes so he was pushed to ask it to her because it triggers his curiousity as well. “Is there anything that bothers you right now?” Her father asked. “Nothing dad. Maybe I just need to buy a new eyeglass because I need it so bad”, Samara excused. Nandru, didn’t ask any further question about it because he doesn’t want to force his daughter although he knows that her answer is lame and just an excuse. “Oh, I see. Let’s go to the ophthalmologist later then so that they can check your eyes before buying a new eyeglass”, Nandru told Samara to let her know that he is persuaded with her answer. “No dad. You don’t need to. I have a part time job right now so I can just save for it and will buy in 2months or 3. Don’t be bothered about it. I can handle it”, Samara answered with a wink to make sure that her parents will not be worried about her needs. After late breakfast, Samara already cleaned the table, wash the dishes and help her mother with the laundry. She wants to make sure that she is still a help to her parents especially right now that she doesn’t have a stable job yet. She pities her parents and kind of disappointed to herself because she cannot financially contribute to her parents’ needs. The season of lockdown, triggers the pressure she feels. After finishing the chores, Samara already cooked rice and sauteed vegetable for lunch. As much as possible, they want to eat healthy because the virus is widely spreading and killing a lot of lives. She is worried that if someday she is working for their family dream, her parents will also leave her. She doesn’t want yet to lose them. After lunch, her father went to the cornfield to check his crops while her mother went to the market to buy some needs as well as ingredients for their dinner. While her parents are away, Samara went to her room, lied down on her bed, and still thinking of the man she never met. It gave her this feeling of uneasiness. “Who are you really? Where will I start to find you?” She whispered will still thinking of her dream until she fell asleep. “Can you please stop running away? We already knew each other for over 15 years. You played with me, we grew up together, we became best friends and now, I don’t know but I am already falling for you. You gave me this feeling of security and you made me feel loved. You never left me. I don’t care how you look like. I just want to see the face of the person whom I am in love with. I don’t care if you are just a dream. I will still choose you even though you are not real.” Samara said to the guy in her dreams. “You will never know me. Whether I am real or not, I will never let you know who I am. Let me just be a dream”, The guy answered. Samara was shocked when the guy spoke. It’s the first time she heard his voice. She cannot describe it. It’s muscular but sweet voice. It adds up to his mystery. “You…. You’re voice…. You spoke…. I clearly heard you…. Ca… Can you speak again?” Samara asked him with a shaking voice. She wants to make sure that she really heard him. She waited for the guy to speak again but it seems like it is already impossible. She waited and waited on her dream but there is no answer until she woke up. She felt disappointed. She wants to sleep again but she can’t. It’s already 9 in the evening and her parents already done with their dinner. She went down and ate on her own. After taking his dinner, she washed her face, brush her teeth and had her skin care routine. Finally, she is now ready for her part time job. She works as a ghost writer. She uses a pseudo name and an alternate email for her clients. She answers essays, surveys, research papers for the students who doesn’t have time to study and for some, they are just lazy answering. It is good for Samara because the pay is also good depending on the complexity of the activity. Samara received 5 clients tonight and 3 of it are mini research papers. The good thing is that she can manage all of this because she used to work alone with her paper works in the university. This will just be easy for her. “You will never know me… You will never know me… You will never know me…” The voice of that guy keeps on playing on her mind. It never stops. “Stop. Stop. Stop. I need to concentrate. Please stoopppp…..” Samara shouted. Her mom heard it so she knocked on her room. “Samara! Samara! What’s happening to you?!” Sarai asked while knocking her daughter’s door. Samara heard her mom after the music stopped so she immediately put down her headset and opened the door. “Mom, it’s nothing. I was just watching some intense drama”, Samara answered with a smile. “Okay. Lower down the volume of your headset so that you will hear your own voice if it’s loud”, Sarai advises her daughter. “Okay mom. Goodnight”, Samara answered. After closing the door, Samara went back to what she is doing. She took a deep breathe and continued her work. Samara finished her work at 3 o’clock in the morning and send it through email. Finally, she can already sleep. She’s sitting on the rocks near the waterfalls and playing with the flow of the water. Flowers and leaves from trees are falling down and she appreciates its beauty. She took her phone and took a photo of those leaves and flowers while following the flow of the water. It feels refreshing. She feels the comfort while watching this view. “This will be more romantic if you are here”, Samara whispered. She looks up at the sky and slowly close her eyes while taking a deep breathe. Then, she smelled a familiar perfume. It smells like a lavender that is with her for so many years. She knows that it’s him. While attempting to open her eyes, a hand stops her and covered her eyes. She wants to remove the hands covering her but it’s just too strong so she gave up. Afterwards, she feels that a hand is letting her hold stems. The hands just vanished away and when she opened her eyes, she saw the bouquet of tulips and sunflowers on her right hand. “Coward”, Samara whispered instead of appreciating the flowers given to her. “It will be more romantic if you seated beside my and give those flowers with the sweet smile I really want to see. You can just confess your feelings to me as well if you really like me,” she added. She wakes up earlier than yesterday. “It will still be like the same old dream until such time that you will show your face,” Samara whispered. She fixed her bed and walks in front of her mirror. She looks like a zombie. No energy at all and with that big eyebags. “When will I get better?” She asks herself. Samara didn’t care much of how she looks. She believes that as long as she has a good hygiene habit, it is already good. All her priorities are her parents, studies, career, and that guy. It seems like she didn’t achieve yet any of her priorities. She’s still far from there. “All is well, Samara. All is well. Take it easy. You’ll get there when you get there,” Samara said as she comforted herself in front of the mirror. It’s weekend so they will have a family day for 2 days. Saturday is for family time wherein they can go to the market together, to field, or eat at the new opened restaurant. Samara was encouraged to join her parents because her caving season is already over. She decided to not isolate herself and breathe fresh air outside. She realized that nothing will happen to her if she will continue to lock herself on her room. In the end, having a better life is a choice and our choice has a consequence. Life is always what you make it. “Ladies, faster! It will be too hot later so better be in the market early,” Nandru said to her wife and her daughter as they decided to just go to the market together to buy some stuffs and will eat at the restaurant after. “Coming!” The two ladies answered at the same time. When they arrived at the market, the put their face masks on for protection purposes since the virus is still widely spreading and they are not yet vaccinated. While the family is walking in the market, Samara smelled a familiar smell. It’s a smell of her dream. “He’s real! He’s real!” Samara shouted on her mind. Although it’s not yet sure, Samara assumed that the guy came into reality. She asks her parents that she will go somewhere else and her parents approved. She tried to follow the smell of the lavender. She went right and left and right and left. Until she reached the point where the smell was gone. Before she realized it, she arrived at the end point of the market. Nothing is there. Just an empty lot. “I couldn’t be wrong. I remember it clearly. Are you playing with me?” Samara whispered while the air is listening. With a disappointed face, Samara went back to their car. She leans outside while thinking deeply. “Did I remember it wrong? It couldn’t be. It’s so clear in my mind. I tried to remember it detail by detail. My memory was never wrong.” Samara said while talking to herself. She continued to be like this until her parents arrive where she is and the car. “Why didn’t you call us? It’s so hot here. You will be sunburned,” Her mother asked. “I just want to have alone time mom while thinking of the research papers I am working on,” she excused. Her mom nodded and they already entered in the car since they will have lunch in the newly-opened restaurant. “What do you want Samara?” Her dad asked. “I am craving fir seafoods dad. Can I have it?” She asked. “Sure. I want seafoods to. Let’s just have a seafood buffet,” Her dad agreed and her mom nodded. While they are enjoying their lunch, Samara’s phone kept on vibrating. She received a lot of messages but because she doesn’t want to be bothered while eating, she just turned off her phone without checking. After their lunch, the family went straight home. They fixed all their groceries in the designated area as well as the meats at the fridge. They were so full so they went straight to their rooms to have a rest. Samara went straight on her bed and fell asleep. “Are you playing with me? I smelled you in the market. I cannot be wrong. I remember every detail of you even your smell. Show yourself! Where are you?!” Samara shouted will in the middle of lavender garden. Samara wears a white dress with flower headdress while running around the garden. She looks for the guy but she cannot find him. She tried to run until the edge of the garden but it seems like it’s getting further. She is trying so hard. She run nonstop and her sweat is dripping. “I’m getting near. I’m getting near. I’ll get there. I will find you,” she whispered on her mind. “Samara! Samara! Samara! It’s already dinner. Come down!” Her mother wakes her up. Samara opened her eyes and feels like she is tired running. She is sighing so hard. It feels so real. She feels like her every action is real. She sits down at the edge of her bed while her head bowed down. She is trying to calm herself. When she had enough rest and calmed down, she went to the dinning table to eat. “You look so tired. Did you have any nightmare?” Her dad asks. “No dad. It’s just hot. I thing the fan was put in low,” Samara said. “Why do I feel like there’s something wrong?” Her mom asked in curiosity. “Nothing mom. It’s just nothing,” Samara assured her mom. She knows deep inside her that she will not calm down until such time that she will find who the guy is. The smell is the same on what she smelled in the market. She is now sure that the guy is from there. She is wondering if she already met this guy when she was young. Samara doesn’t believe in coincidence. She believes that everything happens for a reason. She knows that she needs to find the answer. She will never stop until she finds the answer. Whether she will journey on her dream or in real life, it doesn’t matter to her. Whether she will need to do some research or explore the fiction, she doesn’t mind it. She will use every strategy and ways to find him. “You can never hide forever. I will find you. Mark my word. I will find you. I will do my best to find you even until the end of the earth,” Samara whispered on her mind while having her dinner.