Melody de la Douleur

DEMANDING

DEMANDINGAlready the seventh time this morning that my body stiffened. Melodies that floated through the whole building seem like an invisible teaser stroking my body without a break. Beautiful singing feels as if they are forcing me to open my lips and breathing them through along as well. Sounds of the instruments become echoes from the paradise that continues to invite me in, to come and play....

I bite my lip and clamp my hands simultaneously. My lips are bitten so they don’t sing. My hands are clenched so that my nails dig into the palm, disenchant me of the rigid pain so that I can not touch anything.

In front of me, a stranger appears to be talking to me and a group of familiar people. It takes a few seconds to remove the darkness of their faces through my eyes and realize that I actually recognize them.

The group that is standing around me are the students of the school. Four of them are the same model students with me. Another five students whose parents are so rich that they can buy the top achievement positions.

While the instructor is speaking in front of St. Lathios, Miss Lara, who will develop and set us specifically while we are in this music school. Miss Lara has shoulder-length curly, bronze, shiny hair and wears a simple dress. She looks friendly although she seems to be a bit sloppy. She is talking about something related to the location of the third choir and lined the training rooms on the ground floor now ─ a place that I do not want to go again.

Then, as if he knows of my arrival, the same boy as yesterday instantly appears from behind a black door that opens right in front of us.

Piano tinkles of the room he leaves. The sound of music provides certain beats in my chest, as if trying to pull something out of me. Inevitable. The piano sounds as if embracing me in place. Music has always been an irresistible invitation to me.

The boy's eyes stare at us sharply when he steps out, as if he had a grudge against us alone. That glare is what wakes me up from this hypnotism, although only slightly.

He wears the same St. Lathios uniform as yesterday. A tie of red coiled neatly in a black shirt collar. On top, a dark blue jacket with fringe overrides red list. Dark buttons on his jacket are small versions of the St. Lathios Music School emblem. My eyes stop at one of his arms that is flanking a document, before tracing the rest. His trousers are plain black, but I can tell that it is made of high quality silk. His shoes are shiny black, top brands printed on its side. His expression hardens as he stand still in the middle of the corridor, sweeping every individual that he sees the cold spotlight.

He looks at Miss Lara as if she is not a teacher of this school. No, he even looks as though she is not a teacher. It is not polite at all, but Miss Lara does not reprimand him at all and just looks nervous when she has eye contact with Clovis. I travel my gaze back toward the boy, and find that his eyes has begin to soften when he manage to find me.

“You,” he chirps with delight as he takes quick steps. The cold expression that seems dangerous before is now melted by the heat of laser in a flash. I take a step back naturally, but his free hand catch my arm quickly before I manage to get away.

“I remember. You were the girl from yesterday.” No question about it. “I have intended to visit your school by myself, but I never thought that you were selected in the student exchange program. Not that I think that you will not be able to get chosen, but.... your arrival is surprising, like the day before,” he says.

When I do not answer, and I find that everyone is looking at us, he goes on again.

“Have you forgotten? You were the one who saw me while I was at the rehearsal room yesterday. You seemed to be under the weather, so maybe you forgot. I have offered to take you to the infirmary, but you refused and walked away. But not before I told you my name.”

“Ah, yes. Hello, Clovis,” I have no other choice than to greet him with a friendly tone, as if we were close. A smile is tugging at my lips, which is actually a twitching that I choke in.

“Thank God you still remember me,” he smiles with a smile that much more genuine. I think even that is too sincere when shown to someone like me. Then, as if he had forgotten that we were standing in the middle of the corridor, he begins to pull my hand. “Come, I have something to show you. I just made it last night and was not even sure if the song is good or not, but I really want to show it to you.”

I start wanting to protest when Miss Lara finally interrupts.

“Um, Mr. Lynth, are you familiar with Miss Saw?” She shudders for a moment before continuing, “I do not know about that. Good for you if you are already familiar to one another. I hope you are willing to help her so she feels more familiar again with the environment at St. Lathios? I know you're a busy student, but I'm sure you're also willing to help the other exchange students?” Miss Lara asks him gently. Not to miss that I also realized that she intentionally passes a chance to mention my last name.

For the moment, the expression on Clovis changes harder. Even when he glances in the direction of Miss Lara and the pupils of the school, who responded with equally ruthlessly. This is natural. From the beginning, none of these two schools really like each other. And as such it is required.... Yes, it's obvious what his answer is.

“Sorry, Miss Lara, but I refuse. I'll take Miss Saw around, of course. But I would prefer that only the two of us are going.” He alone manages to mention my last name without shivering, and I think part of the reason is because the influence of the side effects formed yesterday. Clovis talks without looking at the direction of Miss Lara, then immediately pulls me away.

He does not even bother to ask whether I am willing or not.

Clovis takes me to the same practice room that he used yesterday. That's when I start to pull away from his grasp.

“Why stopping?” he asks.

“No,” I mutter. I can not hear more music again. I've heard enough today. No need to hear more of it. And I certainly am not going to hold back anymore the second my defenses collapsed. “I can not hear you sing again.” He does not even know how lucky he was yesterday since I do not have much control.

“Why? You say that my voice was good,” he says. “Not directly, indeed. But you praised me, didn’t you?”

“That is true, but....” I bite my lip. “I can not do it anymore....” I even barely manage to say.

“Why?” he repeats.

Instead of staring at those arguably almost pleading ocean blue eyes, I circulate my sight around us.

There's no one in the corridor.

Good, I can use this opportunity.

Staring at Clovis whose reflexes are slower, I lift my hand and place it on the side of his cheek.

For a moment, I just admire our closeness.

His skin is not only bright, but also smooth to the touch. I can feel it through the palm of my hand. His eyes were deep neritic blue sea. His hair is straight black and trimmed short with a very neat detail. A silver necklace, I realized, is peering over his collar. His neck is long and I can see the second line of uric clearly in there since it looks so tense. I look back at him again, let him see the real me until his broken sea blue eyes turns broken.

Not as beautiful as before anymore because it is now covered by a thick layer of my fog.

His expression quickly disappears due to the influence of hypnotism. I also drop my gaze. Now he will do anything I say. I do not even believe that I can still do this, surprisingly.

“Well, Clovis, I want you to stop being around me while I am at St. Lathios, understand?”

I wait for his nod, until his voice startles me.

“Why?” he asks yet again.

My eyes grows wide and panic. He─

“Do you really despise me that much?” he asks again.

I search for him and find that two pairs of eyes are still as clear as before. This is bad! I do not even realize that the hypnotism has fallen while I'm talking. How can this happen? Am I that weak now?

“Miss Saw?”

I return my attention to the frantic boy standing in front of me, in a moment eliminating all the panic within me.

What should I do now?

“My first name is Annalyss,” I tell him. He seems to be surprised by the hospitality of my smile that suddenly is twitching on my lips. “And I never say that I do not like you.” It's not a lie, at least.

“But you said before tha─”

“You must have misheard me. I was telling you before that I do not really like places with too much sunlight and ask you not to take me to places like that around this school. Places with music, too. I do not like music. I told those things to you earlier. But it seems like you were a bit distracted when I spoke,” I interrupt immediately, utilizing the remnants of the confusion that still exists regardless of hypnotism put to him earlier. My tone is too forceful and convincing for him to doubt me.

He finally nods and begins to lead me to the library instead.

I also learn from experience that I can not use my hypnotism anymore. Or any other capabilities, for just in case.

The library is much quieter and peaceful than anything else at St. Lathios. I immediately love the place even the moment I set my foot here for the first time. Clovis takes me around, offering to help in case I want to find certain books. He knows a lot about music books, but I'm more interested in history, particularly the history of this school. Having making him bored manifolds, he finally decides to leave. But not before telling where he would be this entire day, in case I need help. As Miss Lara said, he is a busy student. So it is very unlikely that he will sacrifice his entire day just to accompany me.

Approaching the shelves labeled 'History', I travel down my fingers on top of hundreds of titles. One by one I examine the titles quickly and accurately. My eyes search for a particular term. Briefly looking calm, but seasoned with impatience. I can only do this quest more quickly.... Seeing all the syllables with a glance.... Stories feel as natural as breathing.... But it does not matter how lonely any of this spacious room is, because there is still the library supervisor in the administration table─

A figure moves in the darkness, to prove that I am wrong. How can I not be aware of its existence at all before? My eyes try to find it again. But, as if reading my mind, he quickly walks away, as if trying to leave the impression that he had not been there since the beginning. I immediately pick up a book that cross my fingers and go to the farthest corner, hoping to lure him out of the darkness, at the same time avoiding the vision of the superintendent. Let him follow, and if necessarily, until he notices me.

I head for the farthest window. The red curtains are closed there. A glass cabinet with wooden base stands upright next to it. Then I open the book in my hand and I put on my lap, while waiting for him to come.

My inducement is successful. He begins to move from the corners of the dimmer light and starts walking toward me. He is a quite good, managing to find the darkest parts in this room full of light. He may not be lower than the middle class. Maybe he thinks that I will be an easy prey, or perhaps even an interesting case.

His eyes are the most striking features when he is about to reveal himself under the spotlight. The color is golden green, like amber combined with jade. His skin is not too pale, so it seems in tune with his reddish brown hair color. His hair is cut short and a bit wavy, but not short enough that it sweeps his collar.

He is wearing St. Lathios’ uniform, of course. That's the only reason why he can be allowed to enter this place. That, or if he decided to come to this school as a teacher. But one look at his face is enough to prove that he will not be fit to play that part. His body is tall, but his face is still too childish. Not as sweet as Len, of course. Len is the type who, after wearing a dress is sure to be mistaken for a girl right away. Everything about him is so rounded up that he is easily mistaken as a female, despite him wearing a male uniform.

What makes this particular figure looks so unique is how different the uniform’s design he is wearing. Clovis’ jacket has buttons done neatly from top to bottom, but this boy’s jacket has a long collar so that it only takes three large buttons to hold it together. The color of this boy’s jacket and shirt are even reversed from Clovis’. The patterns on the necktie as well, with blue and red stripes alternating diagonally. He even has a school emblem as gold pin that hangs on his right chest.

“No more searching for the history of St. Lathios, Miss Saw?” he asks rather loudly with a subtle tone in his voice. Is he meaning to be sarcastic, or just curious? An idle smile is playing on his lips, making me want to believe that his intention is the first guess.

“I have been here long enough, so I know almost every corner of this room,” he says again, when I do not say anything. He approaches a bookshelf in a row to his left. His hand pulls out a rather outdated blue hardcover in definite, but the book seems to be maintained quite well when viewed from the corners that are not chipped. The scent of old books is inhaled by me when he offers it right in front of me.

“If you still want to know,” he says. The same smile is still playing on his lips. I drop my eyes on a title that says ‘The Beginning of St. Lathios’ in black, which is written right at the top of a plain music notes image.

I remove my hand from the book that is still open on my lap and lift it towards the book. However, instead of welcoming the book and say my gratitude, I push it away.

“You said that you know about everything about this place really well. Why don’t you just phrase the content to me, then? I’m sure the story will certainly sound more interesting,” I challenge smoothly with a fake smile.

Actually, I myself already know the story, but I’m more likely to enjoy laughing at the wrong turn of plot being told or even having it being covered by using factors that are too deliberated. Even so, since he is here, I guess it will not hurt for him to tell the tale.

For a moment he stays in place. No facial expression, not moving. Just like a doll. He finally smiles after a few seconds, and then rotates 180 degrees with a single turn. Agile and graceful.

“As you know, St. Lathios was built by the LunaCentral Foundation. The foundation owner himself was the one who planned the development. The owner had a dream to build a school of music, inspired as he was walking around in a park in Venice. The music played by street players has inspired him to create a place where young people can learn music in intensive level. Thus, the project construction began.

“However, at the same time, the sister of the foundation owner envisioned a special school of sewing. Because he was very fond of his sister, he was willing to build her a school of design. Incidentally, there is still a vacant lot next to this school building. He and a team of architectures finally cooperated in making this design school to achieve the end result to the maximum.

“The naming of these two schools was taken from two guardian spirits who according to legend can bring good luck and security. Lathios was named to this school because it is an older spirit. While the name Luthias, the spirit of his sister, was given to the school by the foundation owner for his sister’s dream school. Both of these names were given in the hope that these two schools will finally be harmonious and mutually co-exist.

“Unfortunately, not everything went as expected. Disputes and conflicts often occur between St. Lathios and St. Luthias. Instead of like siblings, the students from both schools seem to regard each other as enemies. How did that happen? The source is still unknown up until now, no matter how many investigations are conducted by the teachers. And so, because of that, you're here.” When he finishes explaining, he twists his body and turn back to face me. “Am I right, Miss Saw?”

I bite my lips involuntarily, his provocation is increasingly cornering me. It is fortunate that he is not aware of who I really am ─ or at least, not yet.

Once again I focus my view on him, the boy who is standing right in front of me. It is in this moment that I realize that I forget to blink earlier. Therefore, I do just as so. He spreads his hands each on either side of my chair, his face inching closer to leave a gap of twenty centimeters away from me.

At this point, I still doubt whether he is really stupid to not recognize me, or is he just trying to test the extent to which I can pretend.

Fortunately, the bell rang. And he considers it as a cue that he has to go somewhere in lunch break. With a chuckle, he mutters, “I'll see you again soon,” and not forgetting to give that typically way-too-cheerful smile before walking away.

So I am safe for the time being, assuming that he is still not aware of it.

But it did not occur to me that there is someone else is of my kind. How can he be in this school? I have never detected any life forms such as similar to mine ever since the first time I arrived in St. Luthias. It has even really been a long while since the last time I spotted someone of my kind. I have met none of them for quite some time. Moreover, of all the places that exist in this world and all the possibilities that might happen, why is it in St. Lathios that I find one? I've attended St. Luthias for a period of time in general measurement, and for as long as I only realized it just now.

I really have lost almost everything.

Clovis comes back shortly afterwards. He has completed his training and is about to guide me around again during lunch break. I am still in the adjustment phase as a transfer student, so there is no need to bother with the lessons that I should have went through for the rest of the day. Miss Lara entrusts my freshly prepared schedule to Clovis, just in case we do not get to see each other until tomorrow. Well, at least this school is ready when the student exchange program is held.

I spend the entire lunch break by following Clovis’ guide that is rather.... required, and begin to miss the presence of Len when I am starting to get bored with the rose gardens, fancy cafeteria, and special-built classrooms. There is no grandeur that can make me interested again lately, since the design of this room is an opposite reflection of St. Luthias that is more.... musical. But I'm grateful that Clovis complies to my request for not approaching the practice rooms, whether it is because there are still remnants of coercive force in me or just by luck. At least there is still a bright side as well of not being able to meet with Len. So we will have something to talk about via text message at dinner later.

It does not take long for the tour to end, since the break lasts for one full hour. In addition, the mobility in the corridor is not too difficult because of the complete sufficient facilities and most of the population of students prefer to be in the cafeteria in this time around.

I am also not totally ignoring the circumstances of my surroundings during the tour, obviously. Admiring and piercing gazes obviously know where to be directed each.

Clovis has features that are so pleasing to the eye that the female students favor him. Miss Lara who is a new teacher in this school, is even included in this group of admirers. That is why she did not even reprimand Clovis of the way he talked to her before.

Given that the tour is nearing its the end, I speculate that Clovis will return to his own affairs. But it turns out that I am wrong. He actually leads me back to the cafeteria instead.

Yes, I will have to accompany him while he eats. Think of it as a reward from touring me around.

When both those French doors are being opened once more, the cafeteria freezes. They still breathe, of course, but they look as if they are simultaneously breathing slowly. Their eyes locked on us, and continued to follow us until we reached another set of doors that is much smaller and luxurious.

VIP room? I already have a suspicion that he has access to a place like this. There is no way that he can bear it if is he always going to be watched on every meal he takes. Especially with those previous stares, which I think might be rather an unusual reaction.

There are no supervisors when we enter, but I think students who are not members will not dare to enter without an invitation. The social class in this school is great. Pupils in common respect the privacy desired by the higher class students. The disciples here are also more focused on their food rather than intervening other’s business. Clovis leads me to a row of food that has been served on the buffet.

“What do you like? They have almost anything here,” he asks politely.

“No, thank you. You just eat. I'll accompany you.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to try the menu? The caviars served are quite delicious, according to my friend. The ingredients today were deliberately prepared fresh to welcome our guests,” he offers again.

“It sounds delightful, but it is better if you just eat. I can accompany you while you choose your food, or find a seat for you while you pick your choices.” I glance around, but there is no reason to worry about running out of places to sit. Plus, almost all the curtains are closed, so there is no need to worry about unwanted intense ray of sunlight.

Laughter comes from next to me. I show a facial expression that clearly shows curiosity upon what is so funny about my actions, but he just shakes his head and takes a new plate.

Almost the entire building is so musical. However, at least the periphery around the plates are not engraved by silver tune symbols, but instead bordered by rather common grape vines.

After selecting the food, which is not too much, Clovis chooses a table that is not too far away from the window. The curtains are open, but the sunlight that glows and wash the furniture and porcelain floor does not look too dangerous. It is as if I can feel it on my skin.... just by watching how the ray plays.

A spark appears in me as a result of seeing that invisible orange light. Luckily, I always carry a small memo that fits in my pocket and a small tube of coloring tools. So it does not take long for me to really sink into a sketch of my latest dress.

The dress is using the colors of gold, orange and yellow. The style is a mix of elegant and eccentric, a risk that is rather enjoyed in trend. At the top of the body is a short-cut dress in light yellow, glowing from the chest and down to the hips. Then there will be a layer of orange around the outskirts of it, as bloated and tight as the yellow blob underneath. With elegance takes over, the arms and legs will be draped by transparent gold ornamented materials. I'm not sure what kind of pattern will match this, but I know for sure how the collar will go. It has to be upright and higher on the back, like dress of a queen with a slim neckline. There will be gems and gold beads needed here. The fringes of the wrists should be covered by laces like the skirts’ fringes, with a neat short tail following. And finally, the jewelry should suit the collar.

I am so detached from the world at this point and continue on scratching my coloring tool on the paper scraps as far as for the next few sets of clothes, until I feel a presence behind me.