Melody de la Douleur

ENCHANTING

ENCHANTINGThere is no mistaking it. They are both like me. That boy’s reddish brown hair and blended eyes of amber and jade are the easiest to detect. I can see him from the reflection of the glassy salt bottle on our table. He is followed by a long-haired girl at the side. Her hair is purplish black, but her eyes are duplicates of the boy’s. It does not take an expert to know that they are related by blood.

But honestly, how of my kind that roams freely in St. Lathios?

I do not turn around to ask them what the exact number is. I do not need to grab their attention after the incident in the library─

The look that is thrown at me this time is not only sharp, but cold. Of the reflection of the salt bottle, I can see that they both have stopped speaking ─ the actions that they have been doing since setting foot in the VIP area. The girl looks at me like a predator who is watching her new prey.

Of course, not openly. Or the people around us will be suspicious.

“─nalyss. Annalyss?” calls Clovis from across the table.

I look away from the bottle of salt placed between us and direct my eyes to him. “Yes?”

“What is it? You were so excited about working on your sketchbook, until you suddenly just stopped. Are you okay? Are you feeling sick again? Lack of nutrition? If you want, you can take half my share,” he offers with good intentions.

“Thanks, but I'm fine. And I'm not hungry. I’m just.... a bit distracted,” I reply.

“What about the caviar? Would you like to get a tast─”

“No, thank you,” I interrupt. I can not swallow it without showing a bluish pale shade on my face. “But I'd appreciate it if you eat faster. Or I can just go on alone. I've been wandering too long from my group, and I am sure that Miss Lara will not mind me joining the tour. There is no need for me to keep bothering you.”

“I do not mind touring you around, really. I volunteered myself, after all. But why do you want to go all of a sudden? Is there something that I did wrong?”

You're too pushy, I think to myself. “There is nothing that you did wrong. It's just being in this room suddenly feels so.... crowded,” I explain, putting that friendly mask again.

He just looks at me for a moment. “All right, let's leave,” he says, pushing down his knife and fork and straightening up from the chair.

“What ─ No, that's not what I mean─ You have not finished your meal,” I say abruptly.

But Clovis already moves to my side as he replies, “That's okay. I'm also not that hungry, actually.”

I am brought to the front garden area. Of course, I have to pass through that icy glare parade from the students in the public cafeteria once more. But at least I am getting away from those two figures. Two against one? I'm not even sure that I can handle a single one of them with my condition right now.

The sakura at St. Lathios is identical to the existing trees at St. Luthias. But of course, there are exemptions on the rather deviating placements for a few millimeters and the stem structures, as well as the roots and flower petals growing locations. But when the sakura petals that always breathe spring fall like rain, there is no difference that can match it. I hold out my hand so that one petal falls on it while I am standing under the shadows of a tree, which at the same time is being blown gently by the wind. So beautiful…. these falling sakuras. It reminds me of a quick death and new life, because from the place where the petals fall off from, a new one will grow back.

“Beautiful,” mutters Clovis from my side.

“Yes, is it not? I have always admire the sakura trees that grow in the St. Luthias ─ that's where I usually get my inspiration most of the time.” I take my eyes off the sakura on top of the palm of my hand and look at him. Clovis appears motionless, stiff. He does not look like someone who has just seen a ghost, but as if he had just discovered a precious treasure. I remember ─ this is the same look that he gave me when he first took a look at my face.

“No, I mean─”

“I know,” I interrupt him with a smile, then shift the view back to the sakura petal on my palm.

Fragile and lonely. So tiny and thin in my hand. What can be done for this dying life? All I can do is wait. The same goes for me. This is another reason why I admire the scenery so much. The difference between me and this sakura petal is one. I have a choice, while this small petal can only let the time remove its color.

I blow it up until it falls on the grass that has been neatly trimmed, and now filled with petals of other flower crowns that share the same fate.

The rest of the day passes in a pretty quick flow after that, until it arrives to a point where I have to follow the lessons offered at St. Lathios eventually. I can not run away, of course. Miss Lara supervises every students under her care strictly, putting aside her practical nature. Principal Griffen even gives me a warning call in person before the study begins a day before; he can read my mind incredibly precise regarding this case.

I think it's because he halfly understands my condition, specifically at the part where I can not stand being so close to the track of music from instruments and vocals. But he does not know all my secrets, so he misinterpreted is as me hating music. Gosh! I might have never exist in the first place if it was not for music!

I love music for life that will never be an end to this. I crave the rhythm because it is the source of life that I will never have. I want to listen because it calls from the bottom of my chest, which languishing until the pain and agony repeatedly every time I refuse to embrace that need.

How can I hate it now?

Once the steps of my shoes pound on the corridor floor of St. Lathios, I already know that I have no other choice. So, what should I do now? There is no way back. If I retreat, I can not go back again. If I go forward....

Yeah, I give up and sign out loud. Let's all burn in hell. Who says fire is bad, anyway?

At night, just before going to sleep, I get a text message from Len asking about my day at St. Lathios:

_________________________________________________________________________________

To: Len Gylithan

Sending Time: January 21, 2053, 09:49 PM

Text Message:

I can’t tell you, because if I do, it means I have to recall those horrible sensations again. But don’t worry. I've made up my mind. And this time, I will not lose to the temptation.

─Annalyss

_________________________________________________________________________________

Right after I send the reply, I immediately inactivate my cell phone and crawl under the covers. He is definitely going to ask me what exactly the meaning of that text message. I can not tell the whole story, but at least he can still get the big picture. There will be too many words that are needed to be erratum if I type them all.

The next morning is the first day for me and for the nine other selected students from St. Luthias to begin attending classes at St. Lathios Music School. However, unlike the previous days, I do not want to be bothered with those songs’ reflecting voices that seem to be testing the patience of my control, nor I do not care even to the fact that these sounds come from every corner of the school.

I can still walk.

“Good morning, everybody,” Miss Lara greets us with her cheerful upbringing, and we respond feasibly. “Today, you will begin to attend classes held at St. Lathios in accordance with the schedule you were given yesterday. Now, if you have compared your timetable with each other, then you would have realized that each of you have different subjects for each hour. But that does not mean that there are any typographical errors on the schedule sheet. It merely means that not all of you will have the exact same classes for the next three months. However, both parties from the schools wish that you can adapt well in conjunction with other students from St. Lathios.”

Whispers begin to crowd our small group.

“I can not always go with you, of course. But if you need help, you can still reach me in the staff room, the place that I have shown you yesterday. I hope Mr. Lynth also explained where you can find the staffroom, Annalyss?”

I nod.

“All right, then. Since each of you already knows the location of the classes, I wish you all the best. If any of you forgets your destination, use the school map depicted on the back of your schedule,” says Miss Lara before bidding her goodbye.

We start to split from the group in two, because it seems like every two students from St. Luthias get the same subject at a time. Unfortunately, among all the pairs I can get, it is Nion who is coming with me.

“Do not misunderstand. Even though we walk in the same direction, it does not mean that I am willing to be friends with you, Teacher's Pet,” he spats the last words with his usual narcissistic tone.

Nion Flux adopts a punk style, with golden yellow hair and black highlights, double piercings on the left ear and tongue, as well as dark eyeliners around his eyes. To add that sense of 'dangerous', he also acts like a delinquent. And since he is one of those students who rely on the money to get the top level achievement, it is an automatic for me not like his presence.

“Take it easy. I also do not want my reputation to be tarnished just because of mistakenly being familiarized with you, Hooligan,” I reply with a friendly smile that does not reach my eyes before walking away, faster moving half a step ahead.

I get Technical Vocalization in the first period, which takes place in a sound recording studio, at the third floor northern part. Right after I open the door, all the students have gathered for the first class, and my eyes can not miss one of those figures.

Standing confidently is a beautiful amber-and-jade-eyed girl. Her straight long hair is flowing down like curtain. Her uniform is also slightly different from the other students. Like her brother, she wears a sleeveless blazer collar length, leaving three school crest shaped studs. Her blazer material is in red, while the list is colored in dark blue. The tie pattern is also similar to her brother’s. And as a complement, all the tone shaped gold pins are hanging on her right chest proudly.

The girl is surrounded by her schoolmates that are in plain uniform. It is easy to guess from their idolizing gaze that they are obviously her fans.

I step closer and rotate my gaze to follow the movements.

“Hi. You must Bellathrone Land, is it not? My name is Annalyss Saw. Nice to meet you. And I have also met with your brother yesterday in the library,” I say as I expands my usual smile. It is the kind of smile that I usually show to please the teachers on general situation. But this time, I have a specific purpose.

She does not say anything, but the fans look at me with cynical stares.

“St. Luthias Girl? Do not be so familiar with our Bellathrone. Just so you know, in here, Bella is not someone who you can just talk with randomly,” a dark-haired girl curts.

“Yes. And Nix is not the type of person who likes to hang out at the library. So do not bother lying to your Bellathrone, St. Luthias Girl,” adds the blonde one.

Now, the social class game begins. The others, if were placed in a position now, would have lost by now. But I do not think that even if I back down that I will not be able to keep a distance too far.

“Oh, is that so?” is simply my reply, with a level of hospitality that is no less determining than theirs in protecting their idol. Then I glance away as if I never said anything, waiting for the teacher to start the lesson.

Michael Corvonous, the teacher that will instruct today’s voice recording process, insists that I and Nion first introduce ourselves in front of a group of St. Lathios students before starting the lesson. I am not surprised that most of them showed their distaste to us so openly, though Mr. Corvonous already admonish them to be friendly.

Yes, no problem. Procedure is procedure, anyway.

“Now, students, once it is your turn to get inside, use the headphones and wait until the time before starting to sing. The door will be shut close while you sing, so the noise or air from outside does not mess with the recording. Make use of the song lyrics that have been provided if there are parts that you forget, but do not be too dependent on it. The best song is sung through the heart, not my reciting. Therefore, if you want a best result that is good to hear, you have to involve your feelings into it.”

Mr. Corvonous directly gives us the opportunity to begin practicing as soon as he finishes explaining the stages briefly. And who will be the best example for today than the role model, Bellathrone, herself?

Bellathrone walks confidently into a soundproof room. We watch her approaching the stand and puts on the headphones. Mr. Corvonous begins to set the panel and a flow of Upon Your Eyes from Ice Cold is heard.

When she sings, I can learn a lot about her. From her mellifluous level, I already know that she came from the second group, that she is much younger than me. The vibrations and emphasis that she uses are quite perfect, but no more than that without the involvement of appropriate feelings. Right now, she does not even try much in falsifying her emotions, even when the song she is singing itself is about love.

Although the whole class is fascinated by her performance, I can easily see through the truth that she tries to hide. But what is there to be done? Basically, she is still green, after all.

“Very good, Miss Land. You have performed a good control on the vibration of your voice, and you could even reach the high notes without a single trouble,” praises Mr. Corvonous through the microphone after Bellathrone finishes and puts the headphones back to its place. “But unfortunately, your composition is still lacking. I suggest you pay attention on that factor better next time.”

Bellathrone’s fans voice their disagreements to their teachers, because they think Bellathrone already sang the song well enough. But one look at Bellathrone’s face when she gets out of the soundproof room, I know for a fact that she herself is a bit disappointed with her performance.

“Now, who is ready to sing the next song?” asks Mr. Corvonous with enthusiasm. But the previous criticism seems to have toppled most of the students.

“No one? Come on! One of you should try next. It does not matter even when the result is not always good. There is always a first time for everything. And the first one may not always be as good as expected.”

Silence.

“What about the students from St. Luthias, Mr. Corvonous?” mentions the dark-haired girl from earlier, who is a part of Bellathrone’s fan group.

“What about them?” Mr. Corvonous asks.

“Why not just let one of them tries singing, Mr. Corvonous?” adds the blonde from the same group.

“Well, that’s─”

“It does not matter even though the result is not is not always good. There is always a first time for everything. And the first one may not always be as good as expected. Isn’t that right, Mr. Corvonous?” quotes the black haired girl. “So I guess it does not matter even if one of them tries, even when she is not a student from this music school.”

“I think....” Mr. Corvonous’ eyes direct towards me. I lift my shoulders without objection, because I am actually relying on this opportunity to happen.

“You don’t mind, do you? It does not matter if you can not sing well, but it is the most important you try.”

“No problem. But I have to admit,” I accidentally tip a view toward Bellathrone this time, knowing that she takes part from the actions of her fans, “it has really been such a long time since the last I hummed a song.”

“Then I want you to sing the same light song. You can use the lyrics book and open page two hundred and six.”

That’s very kind of him.

It's just that I do not need help.

I immediately walk in and put the headphones, to wait until the song starts flowing. Before the time arrives for me to sing, I draw a deep breath. Not because I need to fill my lungs with oxygen, but more for the sake of this particular tune. I know these tones. River of Death by Jannes Paine.

This song relates to sadness of the songwriter to someone whom she dearly loved, who unfortunately died. She then spilled her longing of figure into this song, which reminds her of the days when that someone was still on her side, and now the songwriter can only watch from across the river of death.

The strains of music begins softly and somberly. Twanging of piano sounds so bitter. Friction of violin crashes the silence. For long I have pervasive the emotions which built by the melody, until the echoes come and I know where to start.

At this point, if I want to forge my sorrow, I can probably get half the result that I should have earned. And since basically I'm not a disciple from this music school, it will be normal for me to reach to that point.

But today, I feel like I am a little too tired of pretending.

My voice echoes in the absence, calling attention, reaching the hearts. There is only one thing left: Honesty. This melancholy tangle is nested inside me, and I'm just showing what's in it.

I'm sure they can hear my voice better, and I do not feel even the slightest of hesitation. Because from this side is the only way they can be safe while listening to my voice ─ the voice that has been buried for so long and now wants the listeners far beyond the limits.

But this story will not just end here. Every time I recall that furthering figure, the more thundering is the atmosphere in the songwriter’s heart. Anger summons fog and storm, allowing lightning to strike by with thunderbolt that takes lives. Until eventually, this anger is not only consumes the songwriter, but also the lives of those around her entirely. And when that happens, there is only one goal in her to live, and that is to kill.

A wail of vengeful screams is the last of my lyrics.

I open my eyes I have closed unconsciously before. Singing again makes me almost forgetting myself, and the calculation of what would happen if the room is not soundproof is not impermeable enough for those who are outside to not hear my voice directly.

The first face I see is Bellathrone. That collective expression now turns to surprise, though she obviously knows what I am now. Only after that, that I glance to the other students, to Mr. Corvonous, and even distribute to Nion. They all seem much more shocked than Bellathrone is.

It seems like I have done it way too excessively.

“That. Was. Incredible!” exclaims Mr. Corvonous with sparkling eyes once I step out. “I have never listened to a student who can sing this tremendously in their first experience. You even exceeded beyond our best students. Your teacher must have been a genius. I wonder why you did not go to school here instead of St. Luthias in the first place!”

From students’ reactions, I already know that Mr. Corvonous has never given a praise like this to them before. There is no wonder why their eyes burning with jealousy at this moment. But they themselves have been listening to own voice on their own. So they know the truth.

“I do not have a vocal teacher, Mr. Corvonous, but I have my own reasons for not attending this school,” I say before walking away, past Nion who is still in shock, and Bellathrone, who is dazzled of what seems to be a cunning plan.

“Meet us at the library,” she whispers in a low tone, knowing for sure I can listen to her words.

Confrontation is complete.

The lesson takes place quite well, if the rumors whispered around about my talent that keeps echoing from various angles is something normal in the school as well. It seems like the news here spreads very quick. Once out of my first class, I can already start hearing it. At the sixth period, lunch break starts and I use that time to visit the library. Via the less crowded route as well, of course.

In there, the library is nearly empty except for the supervisor. I begin to feel that Bellathrone is just havering, or it is me who has misheard because of my rusting hearing, like how most of my other abilities. But then I feel a presence in one of the two balconies behind the hidden landscape of thick, red curtains. So I approach them and lock the door behind me, just in case if any of them are planning to hack around.

“Who are you exactly?” asks Bellathrone’s brother, who is according to my hearing called Nixandre Land.

“You mean, what am I exactly?” I correct him.

He gasps, but more out of irritation. Perhaps he is not aware of it. Maybe they still have not realized it yet.

“Humming songs to seize the energy of life from those who lived and His creations. Creating relentless destructions of what belongs to Him, is a depiction written in the Holy Bible. I'm just like you: a demon.”

“Liar! I can not believe this!” snaps Bellathrone.

“What should not be believed, actually? Our existences are hardly considered by humans. And they all think that we are evil creatures that should be shunned.”

“You do not feel like a demon at all. I can not feel your aura, which is beyond too weak to be detected. You're like the dead.”

“Well, what can be done? For what is never dead or alive in the first place may not still be alive, is it not? And as for the pressure of my aura, isn’t it that obvious?”

“Isn’t it that obviously what?” asks Nixandre, looking as curious as his sister.

I sigh and for a split second feels like wanting to hit my forehead with the palm of my hand hard. How can this thought not cross their minds at all?

“That I no longer absorb any human life force,” I finally say state it.

“Lies again! There is no way that you can survive without absorbing the energy of human life, if you really are the demon as you claimed to be,” hisses Bellathrone.

“Of course I can. You just do not know that for sure, because you were born from the second-generation group. Your age can not possibly be more than twenty thousand years, so don’t be so surprised if no one tells you about me.”

“What do you class did you come from, that we have never even met you before,” Nixandre asks.

“Think about it yourself.” I pause for a second, giving them time to process all these revelations. “You've never seen me before. Not anywhere except in a school, of all places that can be in this world. It is obviously because I have not been around hell for a very, very long time.”

Both of them are silent for a moment, really trying to think of my words. They look at each other before lowering their gaze. Nixandre is the one who first raises his eyes on me.

“You're from an earlier generation?” he asks.

“More or less so.”

“Way earlier?”

“I am the first one, rather than from the first.”

“No way!” shouts Bellathrone again in disbelief.

“It's up to you whether to believe or not. I'm not the type to push my beliefs onto others,” I say, still calmly. But everything changes at the last moment. “Just so you know, though, I'm not going to let the dead befall on this place. Not while I am here.”

Now it’s my turn to make the rules.

Steady atmosphere descends into dark gloom and full of alert in the matter of seconds.

“Who do you think you are, dare to forbid us to do whatever we want? Siding with the humans? Does living on earth for so long has made you forget where you have to stand at?” Bellathrone looks rather furious.

“I'll be much more careful if I were you, Bella. Look, she's obviously much older and experienced than both of us combined. We should not be provoking her,” says Nixandre in a commemorated tone.

However, instead of listening to his brother's warning, Bellathrone actually even snorts loudly, deliberately trying to upset. But it does not matter. I'm not the kind that is easily affected by emotions. Like a parent who can overlook her daughter’s outrageousness, I just shake my head before walking away.

“Where are you going? We still haven’t finished talking to you!” Bellathrone snaps from behind, like a child who begins to realize that her candy will be taken. But of course, she certainly is eyeing bigger catch. Like the energy of human life, which I am not going to let them absorb arbitrarily.

It does not matter if they only absorb little by little, taking one drop of the life energy of every different human being. But if they absorb too much from a certain person, then that human can certainly die. And I do not wish for things to end like that.

My eyes darken instantly as the thought crosses my mind. I turn around and scan at the direction of those twin demons, finding Nixandre who is trying to calm his sister from lunging at me. I'm not afraid to fight, if it has to reach to that point. Because it doesn’t matter how, I still can not completely be eliminated from the surface of the earth.

Though I'm not so sure about the fate of the fragile human beings around us if the time ever comes for that fight to happen.

“If I ever find a dead body lying around, I'll know for sure that you two are killer. And as I have said before, I do not like death. So I hope you guys can keep the peace in the neighborhood,” I convey before leaving.