"Love is an illusion"

Love first appears during school days for some, and for others, during college life. Love often begins in the lives of those who believe they should never fall in love — it’s a magical illusion that takes root where it's least expected. That’s exactly how it was for Murugan. He believed he should never fall in love. But what he thought would happen and what actually happened were completely different. No matter how much self-control one has, love always longs to spread its wings. In the same way, the wings of love began to flutter gently in Monisha’s life as well. This is the story of how love entered the lives of both Murugan and Monisha — and how we will witness their story, woven with truth and emotion. Yes, even in Murugan’s life, love started spinning its magical web. At first, Murugan lived happily with his friends, without any feelings of love. During his 10th grade, he was mischievous and childlike, spending joyful times with his friends. Though he was a bit playful compared to others, he was very clear about when and what to study. Until he personally experienced love, he helped his friends with their love stories. Even though he met many girls in his life, no feelings of love ever sparked within him. He had firmly decided that he shouldn’t fall in love. The reason: From a young age, his parents used to say, "If you fall in love, I won’t get you married. You must marry only the girl I choose." These words deeply embedded in his young mind shaped his decision. So, without falling in love, Murugan spent his 10th grade pulling little pranks and making fun of teachers — and was genuinely happy. But as the days slowly passed, love began to shower on him like soft drizzles during the monsoon. During his school days, Murugan began to see glimpses of his future life partner. But he only saw that girl with a spark of teenage curiosity — unaware that she would become the love of his life. He was just 15. At that age, he even gave her a nickname. But she never knew that Murugan had feelings for her. He simply enjoyed watching her from afar with his friends. His curiosity towards her grew stronger. One day, during a math exam, she came walking into his classroom holding her question paper. Seeing her enter, Murugan shyly bowed his head. He was a little afraid to face her. Both of them were in separate sections of the 10th grade. Murugan wanted to know her name and details about her family. He eventually found out. Her name was Monisha. She was from a nearby village. Murugan crossed a major milestone in his life — completing his 10th standard. During the vacation, he didn’t know how or where he might see her again. Meanwhile, his friends invited him to join them in a catering service job. At a time when he really wanted to see Monisha again, this opportunity felt like fate. He happily agreed and went to work with his friends. Unexpectedly, he saw her again during that catering job. What he imagined would happen was very different from reality. Seeing her at that moment filled his heart with a mysterious feeling of love. He was deeply happy. To his eyes, she shone like the brightness of the moon. In that moment, his heart, like a drought-stricken field in summer, felt revived by the sudden, cool breeze that brought rainclouds from nowhere. Her love became like the rain that gave new life to his parched soul. He had to pass by her house daily to get to the catering work. At first, he only glanced at her while passing by, but soon, without even realizing it, he began visiting the area often with his friends — hoping to catch a glimpse of her. One night, after finishing the catering work, Murugan and his friends were discussing where to sleep. That night brought many unexpected joys. Monisha didn’t know him yet. She simply assumed that someone unknown had passed by. Murugan and his friends, looking for a place to sleep one night, went to a nearby Shiva temple. He had never been to a Shiva temple before. That night marked his first visit — he slept there with his friends. The next morning, they all left for their catering service work. But something stayed on Murugan's mind — a girl he saw the previous night. He couldn't see her again during the day, and that left him with a deep sense of disappointment. After that, Murugan returned home, but the memory of her lingered in his thoughts. A longing grew within him — When would I see her again? Eventually, he passed his 10th-grade final exams. His interest in choosing a group for his 11th grade (higher secondary) increased. He enrolled, and to his delight, many of his 10th-grade friends chose the same group. Murugan opted for the Biology group in 11th grade. The girl had already joined the Nursing group before him, which he came to know only later. Coincidentally, her classroom was close to his. This made him extremely happy, and his feelings for her began to deepen. One day, however, his class was shifted a little farther away from hers. This saddened him. He didn’t realize then that sometimes distance can bring a different kind of joy. Earlier, when their classes were on the same floor — the second floor — he could only see her up close. But once his class was moved downstairs, it actually became easier to catch glimpses of her from a distance. He began admiring her secretly, without her ever noticing. One day, the school headmaster instructed that no one should eat lunch upstairs and that everyone must come downstairs. From that day, it became even easier for Murugan to see her. During lunch breaks, he and his friends would finish their meal and casually walk near her classroom. She would be sitting with her friends, eating and chatting. Every time he saw her, a shy hesitation would rise in his heart. She never noticed him, yet his love for her remained strong and constant. If he didn’t get a chance to see her during the evening special classes, it would drive him almost mad. While she was busy laughing or writing a test with her friends, he would be looking only at her — from afar — lost in admiration. He started thinking: Why is my love for her growing so much? Then he remembered — the first time he saw her was the night he had no place to sleep and ended up at the Shiva temple. He began to feel that visiting the Shiva temple had somehow changed his life. Though Murugan was a devotee of Lord Murugan, he started believing it was Shiva who changed his destiny. He couldn’t explain why he liked Murugan or Shiva, but he felt a divine connection. Ever since his first step into the temple, something within him had transformed. That realization made him start visiting the Shiva temple twice every month. Coincidentally, whenever he visited the temple, he began seeing her again and again — as if fate kept bringing her back. Whenever she came near, his heart would skip a beat. If she walked far, he would watch her from a distance, admiring silently. But being close to her made him feel even more nervous and excited. There was something else he felt — when he looked at her, he saw beauty, but more than that, he felt she would suit his personality and even his family. It was a deep, unspoken connection. Love had started to spread its wings in Murugan’s life. But in her life, that moment of love had not yet arrived. Still, Murugan wished he could keep looking at her always. So, he began using every opportunity he got to be in her presence. Murugan and his friends, looking for a place to sleep one night, went to a nearby Shiva temple. He had never been to a Shiva temple before. That night marked his first visit — he slept there with his friends. The next morning, they all left for their catering service work. But something stayed on Murugan's mind — a girl he saw the previous night. He couldn't see her again during the day, and that left him with a deep sense of disappointment. After that, Murugan returned home, but the memory of her lingered in his thoughts. A longing grew within him — When would I see her again? Eventually, he passed his 10th-grade final exams. His interest in choosing a group for his 11th grade (higher secondary) increased. He enrolled, and to his delight, many of his 10th-grade friends chose the same group. Murugan opted for the Biology group in 11th grade. The girl had already joined the Nursing group before him, which he came to know only later. Coincidentally, her classroom was close to his. This made him extremely happy, and his feelings for her began to deepen. One day, however, his class was shifted a little farther away from hers. This saddened him. He didn’t realize then that sometimes distance can bring a different kind of joy. Earlier, when their classes were on the same floor — the second floor — he could only see her up close. But once his class was moved downstairs, it actually became easier to catch glimpses of her from a distance. He began admiring her secretly, without her ever noticing. One day, the school headmaster instructed that no one should eat lunch upstairs and that everyone must come downstairs. From that day, it became even easier for Murugan to see her. During lunch breaks, he and his friends would finish their meal and casually walk near her classroom. She would be sitting with her friends, eating and chatting. Every time he saw her, a shy hesitation would rise in his heart. She never noticed him, yet his love for her remained strong and constant. If he didn’t get a chance to see her during the evening special classes, it would drive him almost mad. While she was busy laughing or writing a test with her friends, he would be looking only at her — from afar — lost in admiration. He started thinking: Why is my love for her growing so much? Then he remembered — the first time he saw her was the night he had no place to sleep and ended up at the Shiva temple. He began to feel that visiting the Shiva temple had somehow changed his life. Though Murugan was a devotee of Lord Murugan, he started believing it was Shiva who changed his destiny. He couldn’t explain why he liked Murugan or Shiva, but he felt a divine connection. Ever since his first step into the temple, something within him had transformed. That realization made him start visiting the Shiva temple twice every month. Coincidentally, whenever he visited the temple, he began seeing her again and again — as if fate kept bringing her back. Whenever she came near, his heart would skip a beat. If she walked far, he would watch her from a distance, admiring silently. But being close to her made him feel even more nervous and excited. There was something else he felt — when he looked at her, he saw beauty, but more than that, he felt she would suit his personality and even his family. It was a deep, unspoken connection. Love had started to spread its wings in Murugan’s life. But in her life, that moment of love had not yet arrived. Still, Murugan wished he could keep looking at her always. So, he began using every opportunity he got to be in her presence. Though the feeling of love was deeply etched in Murugan's heart, he lacked the courage to express it. Every time he saw her, his heart would race. But even that heartbeat couldn't give him the strength to speak. If she came near, his face would turn red. The boy who laughed among friends would become silent when her shadow passed by. He yearned for her eyes to meet his — yet feared they might deliberately look away. That contradiction plunged him into even more confusion. “Maybe she’ll never accept me…” “What if she already has someone?” “What would she think of me if I confessed?” Such thoughts often tormented Murugan. He couldn't raise his eyes to look at her directly. He had become an artist who admired beauty only from the shadows. One day, he saw her laugh. There was nothing in that smile for him — yet Murugan read a whole life in it. He wanted to smile back, but even that didn’t happen. His wish to go near her, and his fear that he may never return to himself once he did — both sealed his love in silence. His love had a name: Silence. His fear had a name: Love. The words in his eyes spoke volumes. Would they ever reach her heart? That was the only hope he held on to. At that phase of life, love was a dream. The desire to live in that dream, and the fear of waking up — pulled his heart in two directions. In that teenage love, nothing was clear. Murugan thought many times to express his feelings, but even before trying, some unknown fear would rise and silence him. “What if she misunderstands me?” “What if I see fear or anger in her face? Can I bear that?” “What if she never talks to me again?” These questions tore at his heart. He couldn’t even speak by looking into her eyes. Even if her friends were nearby, he would tremble. His heartbeat would spike, and his voice would fall silent. He would imagine speaking to her a hundred times in his mind, only to fear it every single time. Even at night, in his dreams, her face, her smile, and her walk would visit him. He’d smile in his sleep thinking of her. But in the morning, that thought — “Shall I speak to her today?” — would again turn into fear. One rainy day, morning classes had ended. Students ran around for lunch. Murugan stood silently at the corner of the school building, watching the rain. At that moment, she came near — laughing in the rain with a friend, standing close to him. Did she see him? Did she notice the shy smile in his eyes? Or was it just another ordinary moment for her? Murugan wasn’t sure. But in that brief instant, love struck him like lightning. If just standing near her could evoke such emotion, what would happen if she ever spoke a word to him? “She lives in my heart… but do I even exist in her memory?” That is the greatest fear in young love — A dream on one side: calm, sweet, soft. And reality on the other: sharp, uncertain, painful. That day, Murugan made a decision. He didn’t need to speak to her. Loving her was part of his life. If she came to know of it someday, fine. If not, that was okay too. Every moment he saw her was enough for him. Love isn’t always about saying it out loud — Sometimes, it lives brightly within us even when hidden from the world. Murugan’s silent love filled his days. Even going to class after vacation became a joyful thing — because it meant seeing her again, even for a second. Each day, he waged a small war in his heart: "Should I talk to her today… or let it go?" But that fear — it made his love even more sacred. Though he never spoke a word to her, just being near her became Murugan’s whole world. --- The air of finality began to drift through the school as the 11th grade drew to a close. Exam results, holiday announcements, and the buzz of the last day filled every student with a bittersweet sense of joy. For Murugan, that day held a different kind of significance. His heart warned him: today might be the last time he’d get to see her. Holidays meant disappearing faces, fading friendships, and missed chances that might never return. That morning, as he walked into school, one thought was imprinted in his mind — to see her face clearly at least once more. She arrived with her friends as usual — laughing, sharing playful complaints. Murugan stood at a distance, quietly observing her. His eyes searched for her—not to say goodbye, but to capture one last vivid memory. As the teachers gave their farewell wishes, the students began to leave. She, too, took the same path as Murugan. He followed a few steps behind, watching even her shadow as if it were a treasure to keep. At one point, she paused to talk to her friend. Murugan stood close by, taking in her laughter. A strange emptiness crept into him. “Is this the last day I’ll see her?” “Will I get another chance?” She never looked back. But Murugan’s heart looked back ten times. His chest felt heavy. For others, the holidays meant rest, but for him, it was a time of longing. As the school emptied, the places where she once stood felt hollow. He walked home slowly. At home, all that lingered was her smile, her gait, the way she chatted with her friends. When he closed his eyes, she was there — even in his dreams. “Will she return after the break?” “Does she remember me at all?” Though she was just a silent character in his life’s story, to Murugan, she was his entire world. Even in closed textbooks, he saw her face; in forgotten phrases, he heard her laughter. For him, the holidays were not a break — they were a time of silent pain. Every day he couldn’t see her felt like a day with shallow breath. He even wandered near school or down her street in the evenings, hoping for a glimpse. Her smile echoed in his ears, and her footsteps walked in his dreams. The hope of seeing her again became his only motivation for wanting school to reopen. And then, the school reopened. Murugan pedaled his rented bicycle with a strange mixture of hope and nervous energy. “Will I see her today?” — that single question filled his ride. As the school bell rang and students poured inside, Murugan’s eyes didn’t seek a classroom — they searched for her face. And then he saw her — among her friends. But there was something different now. She seemed a little distant. Things weren’t quite the same anymore. Murugan took a deep breath. Just seeing her was enough. Even in class, his mind was flooded with her thoughts. The teacher’s words drifted past — only her image remained clear. At lunch break, she stood with her friends under a tree, laughing. Murugan stood a little further away. To him, her laughter was like a garden outside a window — beautiful and unreachable. He turned to walk away — but his feet didn’t move. A voice inside him whispered: “This week, I must talk to her.” “If she smiles at me just once, it’s enough.” And then, she looked at him. It was sudden — like a miracle or the answer to a silent prayer. For one moment, their eyes met. Did she smile? Murugan wasn’t sure. But his heart felt it as a smile. That night, sleep escaped him. That fleeting look from her was the light of his night. Just knowing she saw him — it felt like a victory. The days that followed seemed to draw her closer. At least that’s how he felt. One day, during the “special class” session, she entered the room adjacent to his. His heartbeat quickened. He thought, “Maybe today I can speak to her.” But no words came. She picked up a book. Murugan, too, picked up a sheet of paper — pretending to read while trying to steady his nerves. The holidays had ended, and the chance to be near her had returned. Even more than that, the fact that she had come back brought new life to his spirit. One day in class, the teacher read a line aloud: “Love isn’t food that ends your hunger — it’s rain that only deepens your thirst.” That line pierced through Murugan. He asked himself, “Is this what love is?” The 12th grade is an important phase for everyone. A path that leads toward new stages of life. The pressure of exams, dreams for the future, glimpses of separation... all of these turn that year into a shadow of unforgettable memories. For Murugan and her, that year held even more meaning. After the 11th-grade vacation, it had become a routine for Murugan to come to school every day with the desire to see her. Though he would always plan to talk to her, he would return without speaking. But something had changed—that change was in her. Within the first few weeks of 12th grade, small changes appeared in her gaze. She started noticing Murugan. At first, it seemed accidental, but as the days passed, Murugan realized her looks carried meaning. One morning, as Murugan stood alone in the school courtyard watching her like always, she looked directly at him. Just a second. But that one second echoed in his mind the whole day. From that day, her glances started to trace him. Even when with her friends, she spoke a little more softly if Murugan was nearby. Sometimes she would smile when she knew he was around. All of this sparked a new wave inside Murugan. To her, he was no longer a mystery — he was a kind of excitement! She had noticed how he always walked behind her. Slowly, her heart began to soften toward him. One night, while talking with her friend, her friend asked, "That guy who just walks past looking at you… don’t you think he’s cute?" She giggled, hesitantly. That giggle revealed a drop of a buried feeling. Murugan's poems became even more heartfelt. Her glances, smiles, the way her hands moved — everything took shape in his words. Even though he never said "I love you" directly to her, his words told the world of his love. One day, a school function was held. All the students gathered in the auditorium. After the event, lunch was arranged for everyone. Murugan stood at a distance, as always, watching her with her friends. Suddenly, she smiled at him. A direct look. Just a moment. But for Murugan, that moment was eternal. That night, he couldn’t sleep. "She smiled at me…" — that single phrase kept him awake. He thought, "I'm not alone in this love… she has started to feel something too..." Murugan then made a decision — he would talk to her. The next day, during break time, he walked up to her and said, “Hi…” She hesitated for a moment, then slowly replied, “Hi…” with a faint smile. That smile was an acknowledgment. That was the beginning of her love taking flight. The whole week after that, the way she looked at him, the way she walked as if searching for moments to talk — all signs of a love beginning to bloom. They didn’t speak much. But expectations grew louder. Her heart started longing for him. Her friends began teasing her: "Looks like he likes you... you seem to feel something too..." One day, she thought to herself: > "Does he really feel happy seeing me?" "Is he like me, living off silent smiles?" "If I tell him, what will he think?" Murugan had also started to smile more around her. The distance between them began to shrink. She no longer looked away. She welcomed his gaze. Then came a turning point. Murugan told her: "Your smile is really beautiful." She paused. Then, with a sparkle in her eyes, said “Thank you” with a shy smile. In that smile was her acceptance. From that day, her eyes weren’t just filled with rain — the whole sky seemed like it was flying with colored wings. The feeling of love had bloomed inside her. Even though 12th grade would eventually end, this love was still just beginning. Now it was a mutual feeling. The fear had started to fade. Silence began turning into conversation. In Murugan’s dreams, it was no longer just her — Murugan had now appeared in her dreams too. This young love became a doorway. Now, love had found its path. Her emotions had spread their wings. She had changed.