Like mother, like daughter?

I'm not sure why I can't or won't recall my past before the age of 8, my slightly older sister and my younger brother talk about it so I don't understand why I can't remember. As far as I'm concerned my mother has always had a drink in her hand, I don't think we had a lot of money, she studied, my dad worked and he worked painfully hard, he wasn't around very much. The fact I can't recall much about my childhood irritates me so much, I can't fully tell a memory confidentially until the age of 13, I piece bits and bobs together, the two memories I have from before then were both really difficult for me to deal with. My grandma died, it broke my heart into a million pieces, she was the mother I never had and also the mother I inspired to be. She was "that parent", friends, family and neighbours round for parties and sleepovers, we went every weekend to her house. She taught me everything I know about cooking, children, playing, having fun, there was honestly nothing I can say I didn't learn from her. I was deemed too young to go to her funeral and I can say truthfully, I hold that against everyone who made that decision. My auntie died, she was my second mother, she was my home away from home. I have 2 siblings and 1 cousin but I was her favourite, everyone knew it. She adored me with all of her heart. We had been close since I was born until the day died, minus around 8 years inbetween, not by my choice or hers. My mother's, my aunt had eventually reported my mother to children services, my mother found out and cut all contact between us, whilst my mother was out or passed out under a cover, my aunt used to post letters to me through the letter box, they were the highlight of my week. When I was 23, I gave birth to my oldest child, on her birthday and when I brought her home, my aunt was on my doorstep, she died 8 months later. So those were my worst memories, I can't forget them, nor can I actually think of my best. My mother was a teacher, she didn't seem to like me as much as the others but she loved my brother with a passion, she let him beat my sister, she made me homeless repeatedly for going against him, he was her baby. According to her my father wanted a son and so that's how it was. My mother was often found passed out under blankets at the fire leaving myself and my sister to try deal with the trouble my brother brought to the door, by the time I was 17, we'd fled 5 homes and never once was she sober enough to help us hold the doors and windows in place while grown men kicked them in, where was my brother? Oh, he was hiding upstairs. Over time I finally was able to see absolutely everything my sister actually done for me, my brother resented her though, it grew and grew while my mother drank herself silly. Only now can I say at the age of 45 I am able to process what happened when I was young and how things got so much worse. With a mother on the brink of death, a brother in prison & raising 3 of his children full time, can I myself stay away from the bottle? I mean.... How hard can it be? I've saw the impact it has on families, I've seen what it does to people, I want a life, I want anything but that so can I escape? Is it generic? Will I crumble? Will I let my children have a childhood they'll never recover from? Not if I can help it.