When you love alone

CHAPTER ONE I was already dressed in my nursing uniform and ready for work. I took a long look in the mirror, admiring myself. “Soon, I'll get married to my heartbeat”, I thought aloud to myself, feeling ecstatic. Looking around, I scoured the room with my eyes for my phone. Seeing it on the bed, I rushed to grab it. Unlocking my phone, I typed: “Good morning, my heartbeat. How was your night? Hope you slept well? Have a great day ahead, having in mind that I'm infatuated with you”. Looking at the message, I smiled sheepishly. Feeling blown away, I sent the message. Clutching my phone to my chest. I imagined myself in a glowing white gown, holding a bouquet of flowers, walking down the aisle to meet my husband. "Lucia!" My mom's voice jolted me back to reality. “Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed as I brought myself back to reality. "What are you still doing here? ""You're late for work, you know," she said, standing at the door wearing an inviting smile. “Good morning, mom”, I hurriedly greeted. “Morning my sunshine”, she responded, patting her shoulders. “Ready for work”, I announced, sounding almost like a teacher reminding her students about their homework. “I see”, my mom exclaimed, stepping aside for me to leave. I walked to my father's room. There he laid on the bed. “Good morning, Father”, I greeted him, leaning in to let him kiss my forehead. “How are you, my sunshine”, he asked, his voice deep and cracking. “I'm good," he replied, attending to his left leg. "Your wound isn't healing!” I screamed unnerved. “Your father refused to take his medications, "my mom interjected, sounding unhappy. “He thinks his time is near”. “Bullshit! You're taking your medications now”. I commanded, hurriedly dropping my bag. Headed to the cupboard, I took out my dad's medications. Without waiting for his consent, I helped him to take his medications. “You're one stubborn child”, my dad complimented, “in a good way”, he added, smiling from ear to ear. “She got that stubbornness from you”, my mom quipped as she left the room, laughing. I chuckled softly. “Dad, you always have to take your medications for your wound to heal. I can't afford to lose you”, I told him, worried sick. “You're not losing me, my sunshine. "I'm not going anytime soon, okay”, he assured me, touching my right cheek softly. “I'm just getting old”. I blushed a little, knowing that very soon I would get married and bear my parents' grandchildren. I smiled for some reason. “Lucia dear, you're late for work”. My mom called out, reminding me of the time”. Taking a quick glance at my wristwatch, I sighed shakily. “Alright dad, I have to go”, I said, hugging him warmly. “Have a nice day at work and don't let those nurses make you feel inferior”, he advised. I chuckled loudly, “I won't, Dad”. Blowing love kisses in the air, I watched my dad catch and clutch them to his chest. I laughed heartily, as I closed the door behind me. “Won't you have breakfast”, my mom asked, busy with her sewing machine. “No, I'll eat at work”, I replied. Kissing my mom softly on her cheek, I left for work. “Have a nice day”, I could hear my mom clearly. “I will”, I whispered to myself as I headed out. I boarded a cab headed to St. Peterson hospital where I work. I exchanged pleasantries with the older midwives and the matron, upon arriving at the hospital. Going towards my desk, I muttered greetings to my fellow nurses; only a few responded, as usual. I took a quick breath, reminding myself to focus. After arranging my desk, I flipped through a file with a sigh and headed to the Emergency ward to care for a patient assigned to me. In the ward, I met Dr. Alfred, my boss. "Good morning, Doctor," I greeted warmly. He glanced at his wristwatch and said, "You're late," ignoring my greeting. "I know, I had to attend to my father. "He refused to take his medications," I replied, feeling gloomy. Dr. Alfred looked at me, seemingly at a loss for words. "Well," he muttered. "He has to unless he wants to be amputated," he concluded, leaving the ward. As he walked out, he added, "And a great morning to you, Nurse Lucia," with a smile. I quickly smiled back, grateful he didn't completely ignore my greeting. Back in the office, I checked my phone, somewhat surprised that Dan hadn't replied to my message. “Why would he ignore my message?” I fumed in sudden anger. Frustration welling up inside me. Clearing my throat loudly, I tried to keep my composure. "What's up with her?" I overheard Julie, my coworker, ask cheekily. "Who?" another nurse responded. "Her," Julie pointed in my direction. Oh! I could feel her fingers. "You mean Lucia?" a nurse teased. "That girl, gosh! She always acts that strange," Gracie said disdainfully. "Whatever, let's forget about her and talk about me," Julie continued proudly. They shifted their conversation to their boyfriends, with Julie sharing how well her date had gone the night before. I felt wretched. Checking my phone again, I saw there was still no reply from Dan. I bent my head over the desk, letting the tears flow freely. I wasn't sobbing, but tears streamed down my face. I stayed like that for almost ten minutes. Wiping my tears, I looked up and went on with my work.