The Lies They Told Us About Balance

XXI

For someone, or rather, something so old he was taking the whole thing quite easy. I knew, now, that this experience wasn't new to me alone and I could feel that he was being honest, I could feel it inside me that he was delighted by the turn out of the events. I was wondering what, exactly, were the things that I could control about them, their conscience? Their speech? Their hosting powers? Right then I recalled how easily I found Andromalious name, even though I wasn't searching for it.

- " How did I know how to find his name, before? " - I asked.

' You didn't. I pushed it to protect you, like so many times before.'

- "So you can control some things."

' I can start the process, but you can stop it. Back then, your body was so numb that it occurred as naturally as if I was manifesting. '

- " But can I be the one to start it? "

' If you know what you are looking for, you can channel it through me, yes. '

I was now thinking about how much I didn't know about these beings, and how powerful they'd have to be to live for so long. I was a mere mortal, disposable and weak and new to their ways. How long would they find me entertaining?

' I can hear your thoughts, child. You are not an ordinary mortal. You were gifted with evolution, and I was gifted with you. '

- " The whole thing it's scary. "

' I know. But I also know that you will do great things, and to protect your children, you will go to the end. '

- "About them... How can I protect them?"

' Well... That it's a delicate subject. '

- " How come? "

' There is no way you can prevent tem from accepting one of us. We need permission, yes, but once it's given there's no turning back. Not that I know of. '

- " So all this power and I can't even protect my girls? "

' We can entwine your channels. That way you will know if something tries to reach them. It will also allow you to know if something's near, even if doesn't have ill intentions. '

- " How do we do it? "

' Dreams. '

- " What? "

' Sleep with them tonight and tie your feet together. I'll do the binding through your dreams. You will see my true form and we'll perform the rite painlessly and safely. '

- " Could it be done while awake? "

' It could, but I don't think they would like to go through the procedures. '

- " Okay, I'll trust you. "

' That's a big step for you, isn't it? '

I was speechless for a little bit, not sure of how to respond to his question/affirmation.

It was, actually, a sensitive spot for me, to have to trust something or someone other than me. I grew so used to rely only on myself that letting people in was hard and, many times, disappointing.

I always considered myself a strong person, but as strong as I am, I'm also naive, obtuse to people's real intentions towards me and my sense of justice always scared most people away. It became hard to expect something from someone, so I didn't.

I excluded most of every person I knew so that I could focuse on being myself, my best version, without second guesses or distractions, to set the right example for my babies. I wanted them to grow confident and sure that they would never need anyone to help them achieve something or go somewhere or be someone.

There are good things about society, but one of the bad things it's that what you do will never be good enough, you'll always have opinions around you that will create doubt in your mind.

- " It is, yes. "

' We are one now; that means that I'll keep you safe to keep me safe. '

- " So... You're not selfless? "

' I'm not bad, but I do have my personal reasons to keep you alive. I want to enjoy being able to live without the guilt of killing someone in order to survive. That's my own goal. '

From all the commotion, I was feeling tired.

I grabbed some shoes laces and tied myself to the girls, to ensure that the process would go through.

- " Time to call it a night. Can I count on you? "

' Always. '

Somehow, I felt safe about his word, so I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes to end a journey just to start another .