Dear Diary

2024-Feb-14 Dear Diary, It's valentine's day, but there is nothing to be excited about. Today, I woke up at 4:00am which is very unusual. I was too exhausted from work that I slept early last night, far from my usual bed time (5am). My day usually starts at 10am. So today, I just let the time pass by until it's time to prepare. I had sooooo many plans, but I have not done any. I guess I am already burnt out and I am losing all the motivation to work. We, the single ladies, celebrated the Valentine's day with some Jco and a stroll in Ayala Malls, where I've seen a lot of couples having a date, carrying bouquet of flowers, chocolates, and stuffed toys. It's a sore to the eyes. Hahaha I'm turning 32 this month, yet I am single. Though I have been in multiple relationships, I just couldn't find "the one". Or maybe because I've let go of "the one". It's been 11 years, but still I haven't moved on. I am thinking of writing a book about "The one that got away", maybe that way I can finally let go of my feelings. I still think of him every single day, full of what-ifs. What if I took the risk? What if I held on to what we had? What if I told him I was ready? What if I just went with the flow? What if..... there's just too much that I can't even write them all. Last week he messaged me out of the blue. Asking about some tour package in the province, or if I could suggest something to him. I was too excited that I didn't even ask what he's gonna do here. Until he mentioned he will be with someone. It broke my heart. I don't know why I still can't get over him even after our closure. I just can't. Oh btw, he will arrive tomorrow. I don't know how I can see him when he is with someone new(?). What am I gonna do?