No Strings Attached

April 23, 2022

After reaching the car, he said he wanted to relax in the back seat as he was shivering due to the cold. I refused at first, but then I agreed to it. He relaxed and put his head over my shoulder. I pampered him like a small baby. It was raining a lot, and then he kissed me over my neck. I was too shy, but I kissed him after that on the lips. That was our first kiss, the best kiss ever, and the regret of our story begins after that.

After that kiss, we decided to end this relationship because, at the start, I was there with him just to support him emotionally, but it was taking another route. We decided to just forget that kiss and just be friends, but then was it in our hands to control our feelings? Hello no...

I was just thinking today, about how sometimes we think that we are living in an illusion or maybe the same set of expectations from another person. Till today, I was thinking that we both have equal efforts and desire to be in this relationship and maybe that is true unless he mentioned yesterday that he was with me only because I am here alone and he couldn't see me going down. In short, he meant that he would have left me before but didn't because I was vulnerable. I was devastated listening to this thing, it was like I just got stabbed by my closet person whom I believed was at the same pace as I.

Maybe he meant something else, but all this long I was thinking that he likes to be with me as much I liked that, and originally was I just a liability to him till now?

I am a strong woman and I don't need anyone else to support me in my current life. Maybe it is time to let people know that. Maybe I need to keep myself at first rather than thinking about helping other people in their life. For me, I was there with him to support him all along, whether it was emotional or to make him understand what was right and wrong. On the contrary, he didn't need me and was supporting me all along, according to him.