Infatuated With Denial (Blue Claw Beta Series Book 1)

Chapter 7

Adyson’s Pov

I take a deep breath and lie back on the grass, the wind blows around me. It has been three days since we returned to the pack and I was in trouble.

‘Surely you didn’t expect them to be happy that you ran away’ Spartan interrupts with sarcasm.

My parents scolded me but so did the alpha. I am currently laying on the grass in my back garden just to get some fresh air. I had the best night of my life with Jax but it was short lived. Once we had s*x it became very awkward between us. Or rather, I became very awkward. Jax is trying to smother me with affection, convinced still that we are mates. He wants me to move into the pack house with him and announce that I will be Luna. I insisted we wait until after his birthday, if I don’t end up being his mate then I want him to be sure. He may change his mind and decide that he doesn’t actually want me regardless. I feel tears stinging my eyes again at the thought. This is exactly why I was running, so I don’t have to feel like this. I wish I could talk to Lila about this but she is ignoring me. I tried to ask her what is wrong but she won’t even listen to me.

“Are you really hiding out here pouting?” I look up to see Amber smiling at me.

“Well they won’t let me go any further without escorts,” I remark with an eye roll which causes her to giggle.

She lays next to me on the grass and we both stare up at the sky. There is a long silence before she clears her throat.

“So,” she starts hesitantly. “Tell me what is going on in your head.”

I sigh before answering, “I appreciate you trying to help Amber but I am fine honestly.”

‘Don’t be so rude Adyson’

She snorts and rolls onto her side facing me. “And my names Jim. Now tell me,” she demands again.

“What if we are not mates? How will he still want me when he has a destined mate out there. Why does he have to be so insistent? He is so damn annoying. He just does not listen to me. Like ever. He is just such a good kisser.” I rant on and on without breath. Amber laughs and puts her hand over my mouth to stop my rant.

“Just Breathe Adyson,” she chuckles and takes her hand from my mouth. “Do you love him?”

I didn’t answer her and stared straight up at the sky. She took my silence as a yes and jumped to her feet.

“Let’s go,” she demands and holds out her hand.

“I can’t leave the prison courtyard,” I protested with an eye roll. Amber sighed and then insisted I got up to follow.

‘I really like her’

‘Me too Spartan’

Amber led me over towards the training grounds but we stayed near the trees. She stops and climbs to sit on one of the tree branches. I climb up next to her. We can see the entire training grounds from here and my attention went straight for Jax. He is fighting with Eli today and it looks like he is struggling.

“Do you see how much he needs you?” Amber asks whilst still watching.

My brow furrows as I watch Jax and think about what Amber said. He looks really sad and is not concentrating on the fight with Eli.

“Eli mind linked me to say that he was training with Jax and he wasn’t himself. He hasn’t been since you stopped coming to training Adyson,” she explains and I look over at her. She has a sympathetic smile on her face.

I don’t reply and we silently watch the last ten minutes of training. After they put the mats away everyone heads off but Jax sits on the grass looking defeated. Amber jumps down and heads off towards home and I sit for another minute before jumping down. As I walk towards Jax he looks up at me and his face suddenly stretches out in a huge grin. “Adyson,” he exclaims as he stands and meets me half way. He pulls me into a bear hug and sniffs my hair. I wrap my arms around him tightly and bury my face in his chest. I can feel a tear slip down my face and I try to steady my breathing. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. Jax pulls me impossibly closer and kisses my head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, I know I’ve tried to push you too fast.” Jax says before pulling back to look at me. He wipes the tear from my face and gives me a small smile. “Let’s just take it slow ok?”

I nod and he pulls me into another hug before we head back to the pack house with his arm around my shoulders.

“Do you want to just relax and watch a movie for abit?” He asks. I smile up at him.

“Yes please,” that sounds like heaven to me. “But I get to pick the film.”

He chuckles before agreeing with me.

As we approach the pack house I see Lila sitting on the steps outside, she looks up at us before a scowl crosses her face. She is still mad at me and I don’t know why.

“I was waiting for you Jax,” she says with annoyance before glaring at me.

“Why?” Jax replies with a sigh. I feel like I have clearly missed something here.

“I thought you may want to hang out this afternoon,” she asks and flashes him an innocent smile.

“No thanks, I have plans with Adyson.” He dismisses quickly and she huffs before storming off.

Jax went to continue walking but I stop and he turns to look at me.

“Do you know why she is mad at me?” I ask him and his eyebrows shoot up.

“You don’t know?” He asks with surprise which makes me more curious. I shake my head. He clears his throat before continuing. “Apparently she has feelings for me and thinks that you betrayed her as her friend.”

I stand dumbfounded for a minute. I think back to all the interactions between the three of us and it suddenly becomes so obvious. She was always inviting herself along with us and getting frustrated if we did things without her. She would always be really sweet in front of Jax but would have a meaner side when I was alone with her. How did I miss this?

“I can tell from your expression that you had no idea did you?” Jax asks which brings me out of my thoughts.

“I didn’t have a clue,” I say whilst shaking my head. “It makes perfect sense now though. Although I don’t see how I betrayed her if I didn’t know. Plus I’ve been in love with you longer.” I whine and he smiles at me.

He wiggled his eyebrows at me as he pulls me too him, “is that so?” He is teasing me now.

I swat his arm and try to step away but he pulls me closer and starts peppering kisses on my neck.

We hear someone cough to clear their throat and turn to see Uncle Derek standing with a smirk on his face.

“I’m glad you two seem to be working it out but can you please not taint my steps,” he teases whilst my face turns red. I hide my face in Jax’s chest and can feel him laughing.

“Oh come on Adyson, we all know that you and Jax belong together. You have always been like family to us Adyson, you should probably just stop calling me Uncle Derek now.” He chuckles and I looked over at him and couldn’t help but laugh too.

“We’re just going to watch a movie,” Jax tells him before starting to walk away and dragging me with him.

As we walk inside I decide to jump on Jax’s back like we always do. Only this time it feels different. I can’t help but think that everyone else had seen it but us two. How did we not know that we both felt the same way. I suddenly get this overwhelming sense of guilt for dating those other boys. I never went far past making out as it didn’t feel right but I can’t imagine how Jax must have felt. I tighten my grip on Jax and bury my face in his neck placing a kiss there.

“Please don’t do that whilst I’m walking up the stairs,” he chuckles. “I don’t have a free hand to hide my junk.”

‘Do it again, Lick him!’

I laughed out loud at that and continued to pepper little kisses on his neck to tease him, followed by a flick of my tongue.

“Don’t do what?” I ask innocently and he suddenly pulls my arm so I am straddling his front and not his back. I gasp before chuckling.

He opens his bedroom door and shuts it behind us before turning the lock. He smirks at me when I raise my eyebrow.

He slowly let me slide down his body, I didn’t miss how hard he was on the way down. Once on my feet he crashes his lips to mine. Just as I was heating up from his punishing kiss he pulls away and smirks at me.

“Behave Miss Silver, or you will be confined to this bedroom furthermore.” He announces confidently.

I smirk before pushing him away and heading over to the television control before flopping onto his bed.

“I think we should watch a Disney movie,” I announce with indecision.

“Whatever you want,” he smiles sweetly before grabbing a towel and heading to the bathroom. “I’m going to have a quick shower.”

I couldn’t help but notice that he leaves the bathroom door wide open. I hear the water start running and huff before standing up to shut the bathroom door for him. Just then there was a knock at the door.