The sound of silence

Still in awe...! I tried to convince myself that this whole thing was just a terrible nightmare, coincidence or something of that sort it just can't be true. I saw him struggle for his life, I saw him breathe his last in the pool of his own blood, how could he possibly have survived that? How could he still be alive? The images from 14 years ago played back in my head, oh my God. ... "Let go of me you daughter of jezebel". He'd groaned in pain but I kept the knife fixed into his chest. I am the daughter of Jezebel? This is laughable. What is he? Dracula? The devil himself. Sweat and tears ran down his face and streams of blood flowed down his chest. With a deep grunt I pulled it out and headed for his head as he screamed and pleaded for my mercy. I wanted him to die, once and for all. This torture had to end and yes, it was going to end today. I was supposed to be scared and shaky, what if I get caught? This isn’t me? I’m a murderer, like some sort of regret, reflection or reconsideration, but the pain, trauma and torture I had endured for so long was screaming revenge and then there was no room for fear, conscience and mercy. Not even repercussions were enough to stop me. I had had ENOUGH. This demon was going to hell and it was happening there and then. Well the demons never realize there's a judgment day for them as well. Hell was meant for everyone right?! It felt good to see him lay down lifeless and miserable. The strong arms that defiled me for years was lying like a log in front of me. It felt fulfilling, I felt a sense of accomplishment or not. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe this wasn’t enough, he didn't deserve such a quick and painless death. He deserved more. More pain and misery till death became a wish. I kept stabbing and cursing him even if he had died 12 stabs ago. ... Thinking about it now, I realized how much of a monster I was back then, and now? I didn’t even know what to feel. I did it, I did it all, no one pushed me, I wasn’t taking orders from anyone, it was all me. Certain times people blame the devil for their mistakes but maybe I’m my own Devil, my own Demon, just maybe. Someone was calling my name, nemesis was calling, I felt hot tears wail up in my eyes, I wanted to defend myself, I wanted to say I didn't do it but...I did do it, I'm the monster now and that was all there was to it. I bowed my head in defeat, "make it quick please," I muttered under my breath. Then I felt a warm hand against my neck... "Doctor Angeles". Came a calm and concerned voice. I looked up to take in the world around me. I was still in the theatre, not in an execution chamber like I had thought, and he was lying lifeless in front of me HOW?! "Doctor Angeles", came a familiar calm and concerned voice "are you okay?" Cleo Campbell, my best and only friend in S.A.S and the whole of Los Angeles asked genuinely concerned. I opened my mouth to respond but it felt like my heart was going to jump out with how rapidly it was beating, so I shut it immediately and just smiled and nodded. She was hesitant but nodded and returned the smile. I commenced the surgery... one mind said, kill him and eliminate all threats he's life is in your hands. That was easy. Though I wasn't the complete villain in that story, I choose to set my part straight and make things right. How? I don't know but i know I will surely make things right. Everyone deserves a second chance, maybe this is my second chance! But how do I get a second chance if I don’t even know what in God’s name is going on. I was still shocked, I still don’t understand. As expected, I cleared a surgery scheduled to last 12 hours in 7 and half hours, yes I was the youngest doctor at SAS, I was also the best...well at least, so they said. Probably because there was no one to match my skills...yet! Everyone else hated me for that, I knew what it was, jealousy and envy, honestly I didn't even care and I still don't. I stitched him up and turned to my team, "I believe you won't need me for anything else, take it from here" I said and bowed out. I felt nauseous walking down to my office, I was covered in blood and filth but it didn't feel nearly as disgusting as my dirty past. I had forgotten about it and moved on, why now, heaven why me? I felt a heavy weight on my chest, "you're a murderer" came the voices in my head. They were so vivid it felt as though someone was saying them directly to my face. "You're a monster and a beast and all beasts and monsters rot in hell". "...please stop". I pleaded in a tired and Weak whisper. "What?" The voice said mischievously "You don't want to hear me say that you are a murde...." I have had enough. Pounding and racing chest, raging heart, tight lungs and bloodshot eyes I yelled "enough!" “Shall I call Psychiatric Care?” Came a firm whisper. I looked up to see who or what it was. Was it one of the voices in my head? It sounded more real, someone was standing there and talking to me in the hallway, I looked to meet a pair of dark judgemental eyes. “Huh”. “You look like you’re about to loose it”, he said “I heard you talking to…well, no one”. “How about you mind your business dark eyes”. I snapped. “Woah, woah” he said backing off “you have quite the temper. I was only being kind. No harm intended. Anyway, I just thought to say Nice work. You were pretty good in there. I look forward to learning more from you.” He said and walked away. Who he was and what gave him that audacity were the questions I should be asking but I was exhausted and I have a lot going on right now. I really do need psychiatric help. Who I’m kidding? They’re just going to turn me in. I’m I really going insane? I’m I really mad? I shut my door and let out a wild scream. "Thia..." Cleo came running into my office "Thia are you okay?" She asked concerned. I couldn't help it, I couldn't help myself, tears of pain, realization and guilt poured down like an endless stream of chocolate. "Why me? Why now?" I whispered in between sobs. "It's okay", Cleo tried to calm me despite not having the slightest clue what the situation was. She was that cute! "You'll be fine I promise". She guided me to my seat and gently stroked my back in a bide to calm my nerves. I had screamed alot and loudly, I was struggling to catch my breath and keep a steady rhythm. "Water". I whispered. "Water" she repeated and hurriedly went to get me a bottle of water. Suddenly, wether by reflex or anything else I bursted out laughing. "Thia are you kidding?" I said to no one but myself "you wanted to have a normal life, a quiet and peaceful life when you have blood stains all over you. That's not how it's done darling. Karma is here...uh ah" I bursted out laughing again. "Thia..." I felt a hand harshly sweep across my face and immediately followed by a sharp, deep pain. "What is wrong with you?" I peered Cleo deep into her eyes with an "I don't even understand" look. Now I'm going crazy. Then I realized, if it's time, it's time, you can't buy yourself out of it, you can't cheat nature. What you have done will come after you and haunt you down, forever and always, even in the afterlife. That's how terrible nemesis is, it'll find you, whether you're far beyond reach, even in the darkest places, even in hell. When it's your turn to reap what you sowed, there's no going back. Just as success is for the hard workers, justice for the wronged, nemesis is for evil, the monsters and the beasts, wether the monsters have a story, nemesis doesn't care, nemesis is nemesis, she is blind to mercy! I didn't know what I was feeling as I stood in front of my white mansion. I was numb. Feeling every emotion while feeling nothing at the same time. It doesn't make sense, i know, so does meeting a dead man of 14 years makes no sense. As expected,Daisy barked violently at me, long day, I look like a ghost, it's understandable. Beep* That was my phone. It's past 10 am and I was still fixed to my bed. Not that I had been sleeping, I wish I was able to get some but I was scared. Scared to even let my eyelids meet each other. Yesterday had scared hot Pee out of me. I promised myself to remain calm, maybe pulling an all night and not moving from the bed was the new calm, ha! I sighed at the third beep and reached for my phone. It was Cleo, "Good Morning, how are you feeling now?" "Are you okay? What really happened yesterday?" " I'll just take it that you're still alive though". That last text, she was upset. I dialed her. "Hey", I call quietly from my end. "Thia?" She called concerned "are you okay?" "Yeah, yes, uh huh..."I just said the same thing in three different ways,so much for being okay. "I'm okay, thank you". "Then what happened yesterday, you seemed off...scared, scary and everything in between..." she was obviously concerned but for some reason I decided to snap at her instead. Oh God! I'm I okay? I ended the call, partly because I was scared to hear the hurt in her voice and also because I had nothing to justify what I just did. I buried my head in my pillow, I was too exhausted to cry, my eyes already burned from all the tears from yesterday. I honestly don't even know what I'm doing. What if he's not the one? What if he never really died? What if...? My head was pounding. I was losing my mind. Sooner or later the world will begin to look for me, they'd be no hiding place, instead of torturing myself now I'd rather just stay calm and let nemesis do their thing. I got myself together and walked out the room and to the front porch. I wanted to just look around and take in some air. Something about the environment was soothing today. I heaved a sigh "What ever it is that is going to happen, I'm ready to take it in good fate." I looked up at the sky like I had someone there to talk to then I felt a nudge...it was Daisy! "So you finally stopped avoiding me huh'". She eyed me...sassy! "There's only one rule...DO GOOD or do nothing at all. The world doesn't care what triggered you, just how you reacted!"