My Little Secret

Chapter 5

School wasn’t an option today, nor was work. Luckily she had the day off. Sophia had already called her school, pretending to sound like her mom, and telling them she was sick. Sometimes being known as a guy has its perks, like not having to change her voice too much when calling in sick.

Now, she laid curled up in her bed, freezing yet sweating. She just wanted to sleep, close her eyes and never wake up. Her head ached painfully, her stomach turning nonstop. Either she was poisoned or her body was giving up on her. About time in her opinion.

It had been so long since the last time she got sick. She was still a child back then, snuggling close to her daddy as he stroked her hair. Being tucked in my her mommy and having her kiss her nose. Sophia sighed, tightening the blanket around her shoulders. She’ll be fine without them. It didn’t make much of a difference anyway…

A groan left her when she heard knocking on her door. Rolling over, she pulled her blanket over her head, ignoring whoever was on the other side of her apartment. Who could it be anyway? No one knew where she lived except for Bella. Would she go check on her? No, she didn’t know Sophia was sick, yesterday she was fine after all.

Then who…

“Door was unlocked so I let myself in,” the familiar voice of Felix called. “Sophia, where are you?”

She didn’t answer, hiding her face deeper in the blanket. His footsteps throbbed through her head every time they sounded. With her hands she covered her ears, but it didn’t do much. “Go away,” she mumbled to herself, flinching as another shot of pain went through her body.

“There you are.” The door creaked as he opened it, stepping inside her room. He approached her, the bed sinking in from his weight as he sat down. Again, she flinched, but this time because of the hand that was gently resting on her arm. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Everything hurts,” she groaned, not turning to him. “So leave me alone.”

He leaned over her, pulling the blanket from her face just enough for him to feel her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, you’re burning up.”

Felix removed his hand and stood, picking her up and cradling her in his arms. Sophia squeaked in surprise, then groaned when pain shot through her head. “What are you doing?”

“You’re bed is soaking wet, you need to cool down.” Felix set her down on her couch in the living area, being as mean to take the blanket she was still clutching from her. She was to weak to stop him and could only whine a complaint. Her eyelids were almost too heavy to keep open.

“How did you even find me?” Sophia asked. Her head rested against the couch cushion, her hands on her arms in and attempt to keep them warm.

She jumped when Felix draped a soft, green blanket around her shoulder. He moved to her side as he started to tuck her him. “Broke into the school’s database to find your address.”

If she was feeling any better she might have cursed him, maybe even hit him. However, she was kind of glad he was here right now. Not that she would admit it out loud, but part of her really wanted him to stay, for him to take care of her. It was the same part that craved his warmth and touch, the lonely part…

Sophia just let it slip for now.

“Are you good like this?” he asked, his tone so soft, just above a whisper. Sophia nodded, finally giving in to the heaviness of her eyelids. “Good.”

Felix stroked her hair before he stood to go who knows where. She didn’t really care as sleep was coming for her fast. He couldn’t wonder off to far, her apartment was small. Somehow, that thought calmed her enough to finally drift off.

---

Later that day Sophia woke from rummaging. She rubbed her eyes, happy that her headache had decreased and her stomach felt somewhat better. Pushing herself up, she saw Felix with his back turned to her, kneeling before something. “What are you doing?” she asked, her sight still a bit foggy and her voice still laced with sleep.

Felix jumped, turning to her. “Oh, you’re awake, sorry, I-uh… I bumped into something and it fell, I was just cleaning it up.”

He rubbed the backside of his neck, looking down at the floor. Sophia narrowed her eyes at him, about to ask what he dropped, when the most amazing smell reached her. Taking in a good sniff of whatever that was caused her stomach to growl. Following the smell, her eyes landed on a pot on the stove.

“Did you make that?”

“Yeah,” Felix said, finishing cleaning up his mess before walking back to the kitchen space. “Thought you might be hungry after you’d wake up.”

“Yeah…” She sniffed the air again, sighing as she sat back.

“I actually had to go out for the ingredients, you had nothing laying around.”

Tugging the blanket tighter around herself, Sophia snuggled deeper in the nook of the couch. Felix sat down in front of her, a bowl with a spoon in his hands. There was a smug grin on his lips that couldn’t mean anything good. She narrowed her eyes at him, then looked at the bowl.

“Did you poison it?”

Felix stirred the content with the spoon. “Only a bit, can’t have you out and about too soon.”

Her stomach started to growl loud enough for him to hear. Groaning, she sat up, holding out her hand. However, Felix didn’t give her the bowl, actually holding it out of reach instead. His grin grew as she leaned forward, and he backed away. The arm Sophia used to keep herself up started to shake from the lack of energy.

“Damn it, just give it here.”

“I’ll feed you.” He held the bowl behind him while leaning his body to her. Still, she couldn’t reach it because of those long arms of his. With his free hand he tailed an invisible pattern on her cheek, his thumb following the line of her bottom lip. She glared at him, it was all she could really do. “Maybe I’ll feed myself first.”

Without warning, she bit on his thumb, her still shaking arm giving in on her weight. She fell on Felix, and was quite satisfied with the sound that left him. It was something between a groan, a welp and a squeak. It made her wonder if she hit anything… precious.

Looking up, she rested her chin on his stomach, batting her lashes at him. “Ready to give me my f*****g food?”

Felix let out a long breath, hanging his head back. Sophia contemplated if she should take it any further, maybe even causing him to catch what she had. Her own smirk grew as she used the little strength she had to crawl onto his lap, both her hands on his shoulders. His muscled tensed, and he seemed suddenly awfully aware of his breathing.

Slowly, he sat the bowl with soup on the coffee table before he turned his head to look at her. His eyes were searching her face, and Sophia let her smirk drop to a soft smile. Whether that was intentional or not she would ponder about later. She started to follow the same pattern on his cheek with her finger as he had done on hers. And just like his, ending it with her thumb gently stroking across his bottom lip.

His eyes closed, and something fell across his face. Sophia’s smile fell as she watched him, now being the one searching him. Out of curiosity, she did the pattern again, and again. Once on the left side, then right. The muscles in his body relaxed, and she couldn’t help but wonder why. She also wondered why she wasn’t stopping. It was kind of… intoxicating, perhaps, watching him react to her touch. Didn’t couples always treat each other like they wanted to be treated themselves?

Sophia broke the pattern, letting her fingers slide along the sides of his scar. How did he get it? A guy of about 18 or 19 years old already having such a nasty scar on his face, it must bear a story. Did it still hurt, or was it difficult to look at. Her own scars had been inside, but what a horrible thing would it be to have them on the outside as a reminder.

“Stop,” he mumbled. It took a while for the word to sink in, but when it did she noticed the single tear that had escaped the corner of his eye. “Get off.”

She did as he said, pulling the blanket back around her shoulders while looking down. Why did it feel like she was being scolded? She didn’t do anything wrong… she was actually being… nice?

“Are you-“

“Eat your soup.” Felix stood from the couch, leaving for the bathroom. Her mouth opened but no sound came out. A heavy weight settled on her chest that had nothing to do with her fever. With a sigh she took the bowl from the small table, starting to sip it as it had already cooled down.

Halfway, she stopped, not feeling as hungry anymore. She settled back in her little nook of the couch, clutching the blanket around her. Felix still hadn’t gotten back from the bathroom. She wondered what he was doing, and what she had done to upset him so much. Her mind was telling her not to care, yet the heavy weight on her chest kept her from forgetting about it.

At some point she’d drifted off to sleep again, she only knew it was before Felix had come back.

---

When Sophia opened her eyes for a second time she could only see dark. She blinked multiple times, yet it stayed dark. Trying to sit up, she was stopped by a something heavy around her waist, which seemed to be connected with her hand. A warm breath against her neck made her freeze, and she carefully turned her head. Now that her eyes had adjusted a bit to the dark she could make out a long figure that seemed to be entwined with hers.

How did they even end up like this?

Sophia let her head fall back where it had been, sighing softly. At least he wasn’t mad at her anymore. Or he was an angry cuddler. It shouldn’t matter either way, he should leave her alone after this. That would be for the best for both of them.

She snuggled deeper into his embrace, the thought unwelcome at the moment. Turning her hand that he held, she laced her fingers through his, holding it before her. It was nothing more then a black smudge in the dark, yet she couldn’t stop staring.

What happened… it was just another example of what would happen if he stayed longer with her. Unknowingly she would ruin it. Even when she wanted to be nice to him… when she felt something for him… it wouldn’t be enough. He would end up hurt, and she would be abandoned. There was no reason for him to stay tomorrow, the least she could do was enjoy tonight. She could yell and curse him in the morning.

Flexing her fingers a bit, Felix tightened his around her hand, nuzzling his face deeper in her neck. He pulled their joined hands to her chest, his other arm tightening its grip on her. Sophia smiled sadly, her stomach twisting because of a different reason then before. She really didn’t want to. It wasn’t something she’d admit if asked, it was a miracle she admitted it to herself, but how can she not when all she wants is to stay here with him, being held in his arms. Nothing could touch her this way. She really had missed the warmth, the safety, the way it made her belong here.