My Little Secret

Chapter 4

That evening after her shift was over Sophia wasn’t even the slightest bit surprised to find Felix waiting for her in the back alley. She lifted her chin, walking past him as if she hadn’t even seen him. His footsteps sounded behind her, and so she fastened hers.

“Sophia, wait.” He reached out for her arm, but she slapped his hand away, finally turning to him.

She shook her head. “What the hell do you want?”

Felix took a step closer, but she stepped back. “What’s wrong?”

“You,” she hissed, crossing her arms so he couldn’t try to grab them again. “Why are you following me? Why are you trying to talk to me? Just because you know I’m a girl and I work here doesn’t mean you have some special privilege to be around me all the time.”

“I like spending time with you.”

Sophia couldn’t find a lie in his words. She bit her lip, looking away from his eyes. They were too honest, too open. They told her too much. He should know better. “It’s better if you don’t care at all.”

This time when he stepped forward she didn’t move back, and so he took another. “I can’t go back now.”

She looked up, but could only frown, her nails digging in her arms. “What about Sander? Did you ever even care about him? Bet you don’t. Just because I’m the only girl not fawning over you doesn’t mean you have to make it happen. I’m not some-some prize that can be won!”

Her face was hot, her eyes glaring him down. Felix’s lips slowly formed a soft smile, his hands reaching up to caress her but stopped halfway. “Don’t you realize how f*****g happy I am that I met you? You’re everything I could ever hope for, even as Sander, damn it.”

A cold breeze brushed against her skin, causing her to shiver. Her eyes fell to the side, unable to keep his gaze when he looked at her like… like she was actually worth… something. “Just give it up.”

Sophia jumped slightly when a warm, and a bit heavy, coat was placed around her shoulders. Felix bend down so their faces were at the same height, his hands keeping the coat from opening, or her escaping. It was so… comforting, as if someone was giving her a giant hug. Warm and safe. She couldn’t help but bury her face in it, even if it was just a bit. It smelled just like him, cologne and coffee. A bittersweet combination. Felix noticed her nuzzling, of course he did, and his smile grew into the sweetest lazy grin she had ever seen.

“I’d never give up on you,” he whispered, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. Unwillingly, a sigh escaped her lips, and her eyes closed on their own. Heat rose up to her cheeks, and it wasn’t because of the coat.

So when she opened her eyes, met his, and said the following words, she really wished she hadn’t. “I want you to, I’m not worth your time.”

Felix’s face fell, and he straightened his back again. His hands were still holding the coat, lingering there. Only then did she notice the bandage around one of them, and did she remember how she had hurt him. He should have taken the warning, nothing better could come from staying with her even longer.

“It doesn’t hurt.” He lifted his hand between them, flexing his fingers. “I was so… taken by how you looked, I didn’t even notice it the first few minutes after you had left.”

“You should have,” she mumbled, shaking her head. “You should be angry with me because of what I’ve done.”

Felix chuckled, brushing away a stray hair from her face. “I deserved it.”

“Stop it.” Sophia pushed his hands away and took off the coat, shoving it back in Felix’s arms. “Stop this, it won’t happen, and it’s for the better that way.” A shiver crawled up her spine as the cold air chilled her body, making her miss the coat immediately. She wrapped her arms around herself, walking away from Felix. “I don’t even like you!”

Maybe that would change his mind, as hard as it may be for her to say. She didn’t like him, just his attention and his warmth, that was all. Perhaps his scent too…

----

The next day Sophia had been happy their first class had been sports, meaning she could blow off some steam. Afterwards, she waited as usual in the toilets until everyone was gone already. It usually took them fifteen minutes or so to get ready and leave, so she would be waiting there, and with nothing better to do, her thoughts drifted to last night.

With a heavy sigh she closed her eyes. It was better this way. If he believed she didn’t like him he would give it up in no time. It always happened that way after all. Everyone just moved on from her. They would forget, why wouldn’t they? She wasn’t important enough to be remembered after all, not worth being taken the time for. But that was alright, as long as they smiled it was enough for her.

That was why she loved working at the café, besides the good payment. People come and go all day long, and every day she would smile to a new unknown face, serve food to another nameless person, and they would smile. Just for a brief moment they would smile at her, thank her for what she did for them. She would wave them goodbye, and they’d forget about her, but that didn’t matter. She would still remember their smile, so brief yet genuine. It would keep her standing, because it was the only thing she believed she deserved, and gladly accepted.

Sophia opened her eyes, sitting upright. Listening closely, she didn’t hear anyone anymore. That was her cue. Carefully, she peaked through the crack between the door and the wall. No one, perfect.

Stretching her limbs, she exited the stall she had been hiding in, casually strolling over to her locker. Opening it, she took off her shirt, putting it inside. In a swift motion she pulled the wig off her head and undid her bun, groaning as she massaged her scalp. After a while the bun really started to pull at her hair, and the wig started to irritate. There wasn’t much she could do about it, though. She didn’t have enough money for a better wig, and cutting her hair would make her too recognizable at the café would anyone beside Felix decide to enter.

“I’d never thought I would see you all sweaty and hot so soon.” Felix emerged from behind one of the locker rows. Unsurprisingly, without a shirt on. “I mean, yesterday you were my bride, and now you’re undressing before my eyes. What else could a man wish for?”

“Didn’t you get the hint?” Sophia didn’t look up from where she was rummaging through her bag. “I don’t like you, and I want nothing to do with you.”

“That is exactly why I’m here.” Standing beside her, he lifted her chin with his fingers, forcing her to meet his gaze. “If not for my face, or my charms, why not fall for my body? It could be all yours.”

Glancing down, Sophia tried to keep her extrusion unimpressed. He did have a nice body, not to much muscle, but still enough that it was visible he did train. When she met his eyes again he was grinning smugly. “I’m not looking for a f**k buddy either.”

Felix leaned back again, stretching his arms over his head. “Hmmm… Good, I wasn’t either. It would have been a shame if you were, but I wouldn’t have complained.”

He turned around, his arms crossing behind his head. Sophia couldn’t help the small smile that lifted her lips as she shook her head. She bit her lip, hoping he wouldn’t turn around before she could mask her face again. “I’ve seen better, no need to show off.”

Felix hummed, turning back to her. “Is that so?”

Not bothering to change our of her jogging pants, Sophia simply pulled on her hoodie, and closed her locker. “You might not believe it but boy much better looking then you come into the café every day, and in the summer, oh it’s heaven.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous?” Felix lowered his arms. “Cause it’s working.”

“I’m just stating the facts.” Sophia redid her bun, and pulled the wig back over it. With a bit of adjusting it sat right again. She took her bag, swung it over her shoulder, and headed out. However, as she passed Felix she couldn’t help but give a good slap on his stomach. She still had her weak parts. “Definitely felt better.”

“Little minx!” Felix called after her as she left the changing rooms, and the laugh that passed her lips was for once, after two years, genuine.

---

It was lunchtime, and so Sophia retreated to her usual spot. There was this nook in between staircases where she always sat. It was quiet there, and no one disturbed her there. She was invisible for the people that weren’t paying attention. But the people that were looking for her she wasn’t all that hard to find. Sadly enough.

“Sander Jones,” Pete mockingly, and she looked up at him with a raised brow. “Or should I say Loser Jones.”

He laughed with the so called friends behind him. Sophia simply sighed, continuing to unpack her lunch. It wasn’t much, just two pieces of bread with some cheese. She was running short on food back at home, but she hadn’t had the time to go out for groceries yet. “Is this about yesterday?”

“Face me when I’m talking to you.” Sophia looked up at him, her expression as bored as it could get. “From now on I am the new Phoenix of the halls, and you shall kneel before me.”

Sophia pushed herself up, noting how the boys behind Pete stepped back. A smirk crawled onto her lips. “I was given that name because of my tattoo, it has no meaning to you, no one will fear you.”

“Oh really?” Pete uncrossed his arms and slapped Sophia’s lunch out of her hands. “Look at that, Jones can’t even afford a proper lunch, I bet your parents spend all of it on alcohol and drugs, explains why you always look like you’ve just rolled out of bed.”

Her fists clenched, boiling anger rising inside of her. oh, if only he knew what she wanted to do to him now. He would be running for the hills. “I’m warning you, Pete, don’t taunt me.”

“Look at you, trying to be all scary and-“

Sophia grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer until their noses almost touched. Glaring daggers at him, Pete looked as if he would pee his pants any second now. Or already had. “I can break your neck in a second if you don’t either leave or choose your next words wisely. An apology is the only thing I’ll accept coming out of your mouth.”

When she was sure she had made herself clear she let go of Pete. He pretended to not be effected by what she just said, but when he noticed his buddies gone, he also ran. Sophia clicked her tongue, grabbing her bag. She took one last glance at her now plat lunch before leaving. The library was where she spend the remaining of her lunch. Quiet and alone, the way she liked it.