After the Visit
784 Words
“Some goodbyes don’t end when you walk away. They follow you home.”
The drive back felt nothing like the drive there.
When I’d left home that morning, my stomach had been tied in knots. I didn’t know what to expect. I had imagined awkward silence, forced smiles, and the painful reminder that the man I’d spent months talking to wasn’t really part of my world.
Instead, I was driving away feeling like I had left a piece of myself behind.
The highway stretched endlessly in front of me, but I barely noticed it. My hands rested lightly on the steering wheel while my mind replayed every second of the visit.
The way Malik smiled the moment he saw me.
The warmth of his embrace.
The way he looked at me as if I were the only person in the room.
Even after I drove away, I could still hear his laugh echoing in my mind.
⸻
By the time I pulled into my driveway, the sun was setting.
I sat in my car for nearly fifteen minutes, unable to make myself open the door.
Everything felt…different.
Before meeting him, prison had been something I only imagined.
Now it had a smell.
A sound.
A face.
His face.
I finally walked inside, kicked off my shoes, and collapsed onto the couch.
The silence was almost unbearable.
For the first time in a long time…
I missed someone before they were even gone.
⸻
The next afternoon, my phone rang.
I didn’t even look at the caller ID.
I already knew.
I answered before the second ring.
A deep chuckle came through the speaker.
“Hey, Trouble.”
My entire face lit up.
“There you are.”
“I’ve been waiting on your call.”
“I know you have.”
“Oh, you do?”
“I do.”
“And how exactly do you know that?”
“Because you’re Trouble.”
I laughed.
“I still don’t understand why you call me that.”
“You ask too many questions.”
“I do not.”
“You worry too much.”
“I care.”
“You argue with me every time I tell you I’m okay.”
“Because you’re usually lying.”
He laughed so hard I had to pull the phone away from my ear.
“You see?”
“What?”
“Trouble.”
“I think you’re just trying to avoid answering my questions.”
“I think you’re proving my point.”
I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt.
His voice softened.
“I’ve been thinking about yesterday.”
“So have I.”
“I kept wondering if it felt as real to you as it did to me.”
I closed my eyes.
“It felt even more real.”
Silence settled between us.
Comfortable.
Peaceful.
The kind of silence that didn’t need to be filled.
Finally he spoke.
“You looked at me like I wasn’t inmate number…”
His voice faded.
“You looked at me like I was just Malik.”
“Because that’s exactly who you are.”
Another pause.
“You don’t know what that means to me, Trouble.”
“I think I do.”
“No…”
“I don’t think anyone ever has.”
⸻
The conversation lasted almost an hour.
We talked about everything and nothing.
What I had for lunch.
The book he had started reading.
The rain that had finally cooled the summer heat.
The dream he had the night before.
Neither of us wanted to hang up.
Neither of us wanted to be the first one to say goodbye.
Eventually the automated voice interrupted us.
“You have one minute remaining.”
We both sighed.
“I hate that voice,” I said.
“I do too.”
“I wish we had more time.”
“We will.”
“You really believe that?”
“I have to.”
He paused before speaking again.
“Trouble…”
“Yeah?”
“Promise me something.”
“What?”
“No matter how hard this gets…”
“Don’t let loving me stop you from living.”
I swallowed hard.
“I’ll try.”
“No.”
“I need you to promise.”
Tears filled my eyes.
“I promise.”
The line went silent.
Then the recording returned.
“This call has ended.”
I held the phone against my chest for a long time after the call disconnected.
His voice still echoed in my ears.
“Hey, Trouble.”
No one had ever said a single word…
And made it feel so much like home.
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