Midnights to Remember

Memory: Four

Four

Nakalipas ang ilang araw nasa isip ko pa rin ang sinabi ni Ashley. Nap-pressure ako and it's already Friday. Naglakad ako palabas ng classroom nang may lumapit sa akin-Kaisley Perez. Member siya ng business school organization and the daughter of my Dad's business partner.

"Hi, Kadence." bati niya.

"Hi, Kaisley" bati ko rin.

"Your Dad talked to me yesterday, sabi nya you wanted to join a school organization?" tanong niya.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Nagulat ako dahil ang akala ko he wanted me to focus on my studies that's why I can't join any school organization. I'm getting mad but I keep a straight face while she was talking.

"Of course pumayag ako, we needed a new member and you're qualified for this since you're a business student." sabi nya.

"I'm sorry, Kaisley I'm not planning to join any school organization since I'm busy with my studies. Thank you for the offer though.

"Oh your Dad said that you really want to join" dagdag niya.

"I'm sorry talaga I can't do it." pilit na ngiti ko. I was about to walk away nang magsalita ulit siya.

"If you changed your mind Kadence feel free to go to our meeting this Saturday. I will be expecting you, alright?" I just nod and walked away.

~

Kinagabihan ay sabay sabay kaming nagdinner ng parents ko dahil maaga silang umuwi ng trabaho. Binasag ko ang katahimikan at tinanong ang tungkol sa pinagusapan namin ni Kaisley kanina.

"Dad nakausap ko pala si Kaisley Perez kanina the daughter of Mr. Perez. She said that you talked about her recruiting me to their organization." panimula ko.

"Yes I did, anak. I didn't know Mr. Perez's daughter is in the business organization. I referred you to her since it would be good for you to associate with people like her."

I got dumfounded by what he said. I tried to keep calm because I was about to burst.

"Akala ko po ba I should focus on my study, Daddy?" takang tanong ko.

"I know pero mas maganda kung nagpaparticipate ka sa mga school activities. Makakakilala ka ng mga tao na pwedeng makatulong sa 'yo or people that will influence you to do great in academics.

"I don't want to join that organization. You know I already want something else to join." mariin kong sagot.

Pabagsak na binaba ni Daddy ang utensils "What? Anong organization? Iyong sinasabi mo last time about charity stuff?" you can hear the disappointment in the tone of his voice.

"Kung iyan lang din ang sasalihan mo Kadence huwag ka nang sumali sa school organization." sabad ni Mommy."Mahihirapan ka lang din diyan anak gaya ng sinasabi ko. You will lose focus in your studies if you join that organization."

"Still, I want to try it." pagpupumilit ko.

"Hindi pwede, Kadence. That is final, don't bother to join any organization kung iyan lang din sasalihan mo." ani ni Dad.

Ang dami kong gustong sabihin but I chose to stay silent. Hindi ko na tinapos ang pagkain ko, tumayo na ako at nilagay ang pinggan sa sink.

"I'm done." sabi ko.

~

Dumating ang Saturday, ang araw na sinasabi ni Ashley at Kaisley about sa meeting. Napagisipan kong huwag na lang sumali dahil ako lang din naman ang nahihirapan. I'm just stressing myself out, magfofocus na lang ako sa studies ko 'gaya ng dati.

Naglalakad ako palabas ng building ng business department at tatambay sana sa bench nang makasalubong ko ang mga kaklase ko.

"Kadence." kumakaway na sabi ng isa.

"Hi, bakit?" tanong ko.

"Gusto mo bang sumali sa quiz bee mamaya?" tanong rin niya.

Tinitigan ko lang siya, I'm just gonna stress myself kaya ayaw kong sumali sa mga ganito.

"I'm sorry I'm busy today." sagot ko.

"Sayang naman, malaki ang chance na manalo ang section natin kung sasali ka." they are pressuring me pero hindi na talaga magbabago ang isip ko. Umiling ako at sinalpak na ang earphone at nilakasan ang volume. Dumiretso ako sa bench at sumalampak doon.

It's not a walk in the park to love each other

But when our fingers interlock

Can't deny, can't deny you're worth

Cause after all this time, I'm still in-

Napansin ko ang isang lalaki na may kasamang babae sa katabing bench. Nagtatawanan sila habang nakaakbay ang lalaki sa kaniya. Nabaling ang paningin ng lalaki sa akin nang mapansing nakatingin ako sa kaniya. Ngumisi siya at lalapit sana nang magmadali akong naglakad paalis sa pwesto ko. Pero natigilan ako nang tawagin niya ako.

"Aice, wait!" aniya.

Napalingon ako dahil sa tinawag niya sa akin, it was my second name. No one calls me by my second name and lalong walang tumatawag sa akin ng "Aice" it was another nickname. What's wrong with these people giving me different kinds of nicknames.

Nakita kong bumulong siya sa kasama niyang babae at tumakbo papalapit sa akin. Gusto ko na sana umalis dahil parang pipilitin lang din niya akong sumali sa Pathfinder. Pero gusto kong iconfront siya sa pagtawag niya sa second name ko.

Iniscan ko ang kabuuan niya nang makarating siya sa harap ko. A wavy tousled hair, he's wearing a white hoodie, a straight cut denim jeans, a worn out adidas sneaker.

He stared at me while smiling like crazy. "What do you want?" I said."Please stop experimenting my name, in school I am "Kadence"." dagdag ko.

Ngumisi lang siya at tumabi sa akin."Saan ka ba pupunta? Ihahatid na kita." nakangiting sabi niya.

"No, thank you. I can manage, I'm not a kid." mariin kong sagot.

"Woah, are you always like this? You're good at pushing people away, Aice." aniya. Napatingin ulit ako sa kaniya and the question caught me off guard.

"It's my forte." I said anyway."And please as I said don't call me Aice." dagdag ko.

Naglakad na ako paalis pero sumabay pa rin siya. I just shrugged it off pero napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang may itanong nanaman siya.

"Pupunta ka ba sa meeting mamaya?" tanong niya.

"I'm not, I told you guys that my parents won't allow me." mariin kong sagot.

"Sila ba ang sasali? Buhay ba nila ang buhay mo?Stop living in other people's expectation, hmm?" sabi niya. I don't know what to say, tinititigan ko lang siya habang nagsasalita.

"Take your own path, and live the way you wanted to live. After all you only live once, so make the best out of it. Live your own life, Aice." dagdag niya.

"Stop. You don't know anything about me Kaius." mariing sagot ko.

Naglakad na ako paalis nang humabol pa rin siya. Hinablot niya ang isang earphone sa tainga ko. Nagulat ako sa ginawa niya kaya napatigil nanaman ako sa paglalakad. Nakakahiya na 'tong ginagawa ko kanina pa ako pahinto hinto sa gitna ng field dahil sa kaniya. This is is not you, Kadence.

"It's Paramore again, it was a nice song, pretty." sabi niya sabay kumindat at umalis.

P-pretty?! Weirdo.

Lumingon ako at nakitang tumatakbo na siya pabalik sa babaeng kausap niya kanina. Naglakad na lang ako pabalik sa classroom habang iniisip ang sinabi niya.

I don't know how he can see through me but he did. How did he figured out the things that I'm going through. Kahit sinabi kong wala siyang alam, deep down I know it's what I wanted to hear.

Mukhang tama ka, Kaius. It's a decision I have to make and not other people.