THE DOLL’S CAGE

CHAPTER ONE My eyes are heavy, my surroundings are blurry. All I hear is the sound of beeping machines and worried voices. I close my eyes once more, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. I think for a while before the memories start rushing in like a flood a tear escaping my eyes, rolling down my cheek. I open my eyes once more realising that I was probably in the hospital. Who would’ve brought me here? I had no one left in my life, no one who actually cared for me. So how? I really wished I had died, but instead here I am alive. My tears must have attracted the nurses because, they rushed towards where I was laid. I just lay there numb to all the injections and medications being administered to me. Everything I had to survive right from when I was sixteen till date just played like a movie in my mind. Anger built up in my heart and all I wanted to do was die. Suddenly I jerk up, trying to disconnect all the drips and life support attached to my body. The nurses try to calm me down but I don’t want to listen. I heard one calling out for the doctor, as I fought with all the strength I had. “Apply the anesthesia” I hear the doctor say as he hurried into the room I know what that was it would put me to sleep and I didn’t want. I didn’t want to remain alive. So, I struggle with the nurse who I think would inject me. All of a sudden, I feel a needle pierce my other arm as the liquid flowed through my veins. My visions once again become blurry and all I can mutter is “I don’t want to live, let me die”. ********************************** When I regain conscious once more, I was now calm. I still want to die but I know the nurses and doctors wouldn’t let that happened “Miss Adaure, someone is here to see you” A nurse said coming into my ward. I was shocked, who would want to see me? I had no one in my life. The nurse must’ve noted the look on my face because she added “The one who brought you here” I became less curious as I allowed her to come in. My saviour, was a short middle-aged woman. Fair skinned, with freckles all over her face. She wore a navy-blue long gown as she came in with a staff which supported her in walking, she was smiling at me so much. For a split second I felt everything would be alright, that I didn’t have to give up. But those thoughts disappeared when I remembered all the times I had felt that way, all the times I had tried to encourage myself to keep moving. All those times the same thing happened all over again, and again. I found myself back in level one drowning in depression until I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to end it, then she, why would anyone want to save me? I was a pathetic looser, a nobody. Why? “Hi Adaure, my name is Mrs. Lilian Uchendu. I was the one who rescued you and brought you here. I thank God you’re alright and that you didn’t sustain any serious injuries. When I saw you, your body was battered and had several bruises. Can you recall what happened to you? Were you attacked?” she said as I just stared at her emotionless not speaking or answering her questions. Then again, I became enraged, I would’ve been dead if not of her. I would’ve been free from this suffering and silly excuse I call a life. “Do you want to know what happened? I’ll tell you, I attempted suicide. I wanted to die. I would’ve died if not of your interference. Why can’t you mind your business? Now what do I do? I have nowhere to go, no one to turn to. Why did you save me?” I grabbed her collar as I said to her. She had a horrified expression, but it changed to one of pity. That expression one I didn’t like. Memories filled mind, picture of a teenager standing in front of a casket. Voices in my head all saying the same thing, “we’re sorry for your loss”. “argh” I screamed startling Lilian “don’t look at me like that” I yelled once more. She tried calming me down but, the rage in me was unquenchable. Life has been so cruel to me, it took everything away and filled my life with thorns. I was constantly misjudged and told how to behave. Everyone looked down on me, called me a sinner in every possible way. Is it the life I want to continue living? No way. I had no other option, my only option is death. I couldn’t do anything without being criticized or controlled. I wasn’t even allowed to die, why? I sobbed, cried and wailed. I pushed down the tables, threw the bed cover, I scattered the entire ward venting out my frustration. Soon, the nurses ran into the room, I wasn’t ready for another blackout. So, I calmed down sitting on the floor as I cried. The evening after I met Mrs. Lilian, the doctor in charge of my case, informed me that I would be discharged the following afternoon as I was now stale. I was thrown into a sea of confusion and panic. Where would I stay? Who would pay my bills? What will happen after I am discharged? I had a greater fear, as much as I wanted to die, I didn’t want to be killed. I’ll definitely start getting haunted once more as I stepped out of this building. I had nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. All my problems would’ve ceased to exist if I had died. And it’s all Mrs. Lilian’s fault. As if on cue, she walked into my room, her bright smiles beaming as ever before, it irked me to the core. “Adaure darling, how are you feeling now?” she asked. I didn’t respond instead I turned my face around. I really wasn’t in the mood to breakdown again. I’ve done that already, it doesn’t help. Plus, I wouldn’t want people thinking I’m mad. “Adaure, do you have anyone who you can call? Any relatives at all?” she asked again and I still didn’t respond “Adaure, you would have to talk to me so I can help you” she said “Look, I don’t need your help alright. See what you’re help has caused for me. I’m back to square one, back to what I was running away from. I don’t have any relatives, none who cares for me, no way to pay off these bills. I would most likely e killed once I step out of this building or maybe once again, I’d be criticized by everyone of how I’m a shame, how I wasn’t meant to be born. So, thanks so much for your help, I didn’t need, I don’t need it now and I’ll never need it. So, please can you leave me alone, and stop being a bloody Samaritan.” I snapped and covered my body up to my face with the blanket I was given. After that encounter with Mrs. Lilian, I didn’t see her again till when I was meant to be discharged. I was quite nervous cause, I had no money to pay the hospital bills. I wondered what was going to happen “Your bills have been cleared” the nurse at the reception said. I was confused and puzzled on how that could be possible “Please check again, you must be mistaken. I haven’t made any deposit” I replied “You’re Miss Adaure, right?” she asked as I nodded my head affirmatively “Around 5pm yesterday, we received a deposit from a Mrs. Lilian Uchendu, covering all your medical expenses. So, your bills have been cleared ma.” She said as I turned to leave still shocked by what happened. “Why would she do that? She doesn’t even know me, what is she trying to prove?” I pondered on it for a while before finally letting it go. I hoped not to see her in the future. People like that always have ulterior motives behind their good deeds. She might be doing this for another hidden agenda I didn’t know of. I just had to make sure we never see in the future. ******************************************