Bleeding Heart still Pounds

Confused

"Anong problema no'n?" Jake asked me out of curiosity.

I shrugged my shoulder to him as my answer. Kahit kasi ako, hindi ko alam kung bakit umaakto ng gano'n si Aldwin e.

After wiping the lump of mud in his white shoes, we then went inside our classroom. Later on, the class started so all of us listen to our subject teachers.

This day went so well. It wasn't that very tiring but I'm still exhausted because of everything.

"Saang sports ka magtatry-outs?" Jake asked me again this one day.

Some of my classmates were here infront of the Grade 8 faculty. Nakapaskil kasi sa pinto ang mga schedule ng try-outs ng bawat laro. I read again what was written in the small tarpapel. There were different sports so I am still undecided. It was so hard to decide. Ugh!

"Di ko alam. Ang hirap mamili." I sighed as a sign of frustration.

"Ako na lang piliin mo para hindi ka mahirapan."

Binatukan ko sya kaya't bahagya syang napayuko. He pouted like a cute kid but I didn't find him cute at all. Sarap nyang ibitin patiwarik!

"Niaaway mo na naman ako. Hmp." he has a sulky expression in his face. Kunwari pa syang nagtatampo e di naman kami magjowa.

"Tumigil ka. Di kita susuyuin dahil bukod sa hindi tayo magkarelasyon ay hindi rin ako marunong."

"Edi don't." he answered in a sharp, snappy way. Tumalikod pa talaga sya sa'kin upang panindigan ang pagkamataray role nya. Mas maarte pa talaga sya sa isang babae. Ang sarap nyang tuktukan ng isang daang milyong beses. Gigil nya si ako.

I decided to attend the try-outs in badminton. On the other hand, Jake listed himself in the basketball sport. The time of his try-outs will be at 10:35 A.M. so he had time to watch me playing my favorite sport. I am here at the badminton court. The try-out will begin in any minute. Eventually, our coach signalled us to begin the game.

I find myself playing in doubles category. I had to team up with Grace which was belong in another star section. Well, I had no problem with her naman. She was nice and also pretty. No wonder why my classmate, Pat, find her so attractive.

Today is Wednesday so we are wearing wash day shirt and jeans. We are allowed to not wear our uniform so I did not have a hard time to played badminton.

Later on, the game begins. Our opponent hit the shuttlecock so I quickly hit it back using the stringed racket. The sophomore student which is our opponent did the same but the shuttlecock landed outside of the perimeter so our point is ours. Grace and I did the quick high-five and then we continue playing.

Most of the times, ako ang nagseserve kaya't sumisigaw si Jake. His voice was very dominant among the rest. He was like not hurting his throat while shouting out loud just to cheer for me. Akala naman nya'y official game ko na ito, it was just a try-outs pa lang naman. Duhh!

The game didn't last for too long. We scored 17 while our opponent scored 11 so technically, we won. As a result, we are qualified to play for the intramurals. Hooray! Sa women's double ako maglalaro. Not that bad!

Jake open his arms while smiling at me cheerfully. I ran towards him to gave him a hug. Some of the students giggled while looking at us. They find it exhilarating or romantic but I just find it too ordinary.

"Oh tubig." he offered so I get it from him. I drank it and gave it back to him. He offered his handkerchief to me.

I get it from his hands and then I start to wipe my sweat in my forehead. I gave back his handkerchief then I start to fixed my hair. It was very hot so I decided to make my hair in a pony tail.

"Panoorin mo akong maglaro mamaya ha." he said, hopeful.

"Ayoko. Sa open court kayo maglalaro e. Walang bubong kaya paniguradong mainit doon."

"Luh, basta ako masusunod at saka pinanood ko ang try-outs mo sa badminton. Maging patas ka naman."

"Ayoko nga." I repeated.

I suddenly fixed my hair and my shirt when I saw that Aldwin was walking in my direction. He was with his friend as usual. For some reason, I felt like he was looking for someone and it was... me? Ah basta, I just want to look fresh so I get the handkerchief from Jake. I continue to wipe my forehead eventhough I already wipe it earlier.

"May pulbo ka?" I asked Jake while smiling to Aldwin. He was looking at my direction kasi e or am I just assuming that he is?

"Mukha ba akong nagpupulbo?" he asked back in a bitter tone.

I ignored what he said because Aldwin was standing infront of me. He was directly looking at my eyes so I gently pushed Jake away. He was no business in here and there is a possibility that he might ruined my moment with Aldwin. Mahilig pa naman syang umepal sa 'twing nag-uusap kami ni Aldwin.

"Ahh.." Aldwin scratch the back of his head. He was a little shy so I giggled because I find him cute. Sya ang literal na depinisyon ng cute, hindi si Jake.

"Congrats." he said while smiling naturally.

"Thank you." I speak softly like I'm the most shy and modest woman living in the world.

"Ang hinhin mo naman. Sana all." Jake laugh so I pinch his elbow. It was probably the reason why he was suffering from a little pain. She deserve it anyway. Ang epal nya e.

"Huwag mo syang intindihin. Ah, may sasabihin ka pa?" I smiled again. My smile will not just easily fade because I'm talking to him.

"Oo." he looked away for a second.

"Ano 'yon?"

"Nood ka mamaya ng try-outs ko sa basketball. Mainit nga lang kasi sa open court iyon gaganapin pero sana makapanood ka." he was smiling hopefully.

I was about to answer him but then again, Jake interrupt our conversation.

"Hindi sya makakapanood ng try-outs mo sa basketball. Alam mo kasi, sobrang sensitive ng kutis nya kaya takot syang matamaan ng sikat ng ara---"

I saw that Aldwin made a frown so I hardly pushed Jake away. He was nearly came to the point that he kissed the ground. Sayang nga at hindi pa nya nahalikan ang sementong aming tinatapakan.

"Sure. Manonood ako mamaya ng try-outs ng basketball." I assured him.

A slow smile crept in the side of his lips and then, he slowly nodded. He walked away after saying the words 'kita kits.'

I followed looking at him eventhough he was walking away from me. Damn! When will he stop being handsome?! Kahit yata bulag ay magugwapuhan sa kanya.

"Grabe ka ha. Muntik ko ng makiss 'yung sementong tinatapakan natin." Jake was complaining beside me.

"Ayaw mo no'n? Edi may first kiss ka na." I seriously said but that was supposed to be a joke.

Aldwin disappeared in my eyes so I shifted my gaze to Jake.

"HAHAHAHA." he fake laugh. "Kakatawa." he rolled his eyes again.

I became serious for a moment because it seems like he was really pissed. Oh my! Should I say sorry for pushing him away? Pero sya naman ang may kasalanan e. Umepal sya sa usapan naming dalawa.

"Galit ka sa'kin?" I asked to make my mind at peace.

He slowly nod his head, getting more serious now.

"Sorry sa panunulak ko sa'yo." I sincerely apologize.

"Hindi naman 'yun 'yung dahilan e." he shook his head.

My brow furrowed while thinking of a possible reason why he is mad at me. At the end, I just asked him because I really don't have an idea at all.

"Edi ano pala?"

He removed his eyes off me. He looked away for a second. His eyes were full of sadness and pain. But why is that? Bakit naman sya masasaktan?

"Nung kaninang inaaya kita na manood ng tryouts ko sa basket, tumanggi ka..." he fake a smile. Pain was very evident in his eyes. "pero nung si Aldwin na nag-aya sa'yo, biglang nagbago ang isip mo. Uhm, wala lang, kaya ko 'to sinasabi sa'yo kasi gusto ko lang. HAHA. Tara na nga, ayokong nakikita mo akong umiiyak. HAHAHAHA."

Jake and I went inside the classroom. He became more talkative but I still can't help thinking about what he said earlier. I knew that he mean what he said. But the question that keeps on bothering me was 'Why is he hurting when I refused to watched him playing basketball?'

"Eto. Tubig." I offered a bottled of mineral water to Aldwin. He get it from me and mumbled the word 'thank you.'

They just finished the try-outs of basketball and the results turn out so good. Aldwin together with Justin, James, Ren, Zhen and Jake were responsible in representing the Grade 8 during the intramurals. Nanalo kasi sila sa try-outs kaya't ang team nila ang maglalaro sa intramurals.

"Ang galing mo. Ikaw yata nagpanalo sa team e." I complimented.

"Hindi naman." he said in a humble way.

"Ako? Hindi mo babatiin? Maraming beses ko ring nai-shoot ang bola sa ring." Jake proudly said while wiping his sweat in his forehead.

"Good job Jake." I also compliment him that's why he smile from his eyes.

"Tara, magtatakaw. Libre ko." he fished out his wallet from his pocket. He showed me his cash para yabangan ako.

Jake patiently wait for my answer but when Aldwin asked me the same question, he looked down and played with his fingers.

"Ashley, kain tayo. Libre ko." Aldwin repeated.

"Gaya-gaya talaga." Jake whispered but I still can hear it. He was still looking down while biting his lower lip.

"Jake..." I was too shy to refused to his offer again. I know that I was very mean to him but I want to eat with Aldwin so I need to refused to him.

Before I could utter any single word, Jake already sense what am I gonna say.

"Okay lang kahit kumain ka kasama ni Aldwin." he forced hisself to smile but deep inside, I knew that he want to cry.

"I'm sorry Jake." I was very guilty of dropping him. I know that he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment but what am I gonna do? It was like a dream come true to eat with my crush so I can't let this opportunity to passed.

"Ano ka ba? May next time pa naman. Sige, enjoy kayo." there was a pain behind his smile. Also, the pain was very visible in his eyes. He voluntarily exit hisself after assuring to me that he was alright.

The moment that Aldwin reach for my hand was the best day of my life. He intertwined our hands as if he doesn't want me to get far from him... or am I just assuming things?

We went back to our classroom to get our things. I smiled when Aldwin volunteered that he will carry my bag. I was just happy because he was acting like a true gentleman.

Before we leave the classroom, I saw Jake who was also fixing his stuffs. He was still wearing his jersey outfit same as what Aldwin was wearing. Jake smiled again but I knew that it was fake. He continue to walk without saying any single word to me.

I frowned as I looked at him. Why is he like that? Is he mad?

"Arat na?" Aldwin suddenly asked so I get back to my senses.

"Ah, oo." I smiled.

We walked hand in hand towards the carinderia outside the campus. Aldwin pulled the monoblock chair and then he gestured me to take a seat. I smiled timidly to him because I can't believe that he was making me feel so special.

Just like he promised, he buy barbecue for the both of us. He also buy a cup of rice and two softdrinks. He take a seat infront of me and then we start to eat.

"Boyfriend mo ba si Jake?"

I almost choke on my food when Aldwin darted his serious eyes to me. I quickly drink my softdrinks and swallowed my food.

"Hindi ah! Boy bestfriend ko lang sya." I smiled to change the atmosphere.

"Boy bestfriend huh?" he mocked my voice.

I drink in my softdrinks again. I'm really not comfortable when he was asking me some personal question. And also, I startled when he asked me about my lovelife.

"Magkaklase kayo ni Jake noong Grade 7?" he put me in a hotseat.

"Mm. Pilot section kami noong first year highschool so kaklase ko sya."

"Kaklase huh?" he laugh on what he said. He sounded so annoyed and upset.

Palihim tuloy akong napangiti sa iniaasta nya. It feels like he was totally jealous of me and Jake.

I continue to eat my food but I eventually stopped when he asked me again about Jake and I.

"Gusto mo ba sya?" his eyes were fixed on me. I swallowed the lump on my throat. I was really stunned as of the moment. Why the hell did he always asked about Jake and I?

"Kung gusto ko sya, e ano namang pakialam mo?" I asked back, obusely playing around with him.

His eyes became dark and and his lips pressed tightly. I enjoyed seeing him annoyed.

"Bata ka pa kaya huwag ka munang magnonobyo. Baka masira ang pag-aaral mo. Ang mga lalaki ay sakit lamang sa ulo at saka pigilan mo ang iyong sarili na mahulog kay Jake." he was in a serious tone.

I moved down my eyebrow to give him a frown. I curled my lip because he was still not answering my questions properly. At saka...

"Sino ka para diktahan ang nararamdaman ko?" I burst out of anger but still managed to speak in a moderate voice. Of course, I don't want to make a scandal here in carinderia.

"Ako ang maghihintay sa'yo sa harap ng altar."

I release my hold in my spoon. I was frozen in my spot and I'm unable to speak. I was shocked and startled to what he said. My heart skipped it's beat and it was so loud that I bet he was able to hear it. The words that he uttered was still processing in my mind. Well, I clearly heard it but I was still confused. I mean, what the heck? What does he mean by that? Do we have same feelings for each other?

"Anong.. ibig mong sabihin?" I was just recovering from my reaction earlier.

"Ashley.." he called in a frustrated voice. "matalino ka di'ba? Hindi ka tanga kaya huwag mo na akong tanungin kung ano ang kahulugan ng aking sinabi kanina. Alam nating pareho kung ano ang totoong intensyon ko sa'yo."

"Pero hindi ko pa rin maintindihan. Ang labo-labo. Ang gulo mo." I continue to shook my head, really confused now.

He smirked to me playfully.

"Hindi ko na problema kung hindi mo maintindihan ang totoong intensyon ko sa'yo." he drink his softdrinks and finished his food. He get my bag and start to carry it on his shoulder.

"Tara na sa room. Malapit ng mag-time." he alert me.

The whole time we were walking back to our classroom was very awkward. He did not talking and so did I. The fact that he was holding my hand makes me confused again. Damn his actions! How would I even understand his real intention if he didn't saying anything?!

"Ashley!" he shouted, the reason why I became alarmed.

I panicked when a motorcycle almost hit me. Good thing is Aldwin pulled my wrist causing me to stop from walking. Oh God! I cannot believe that his arms placed into my shoulder and his hands on my waist for support. He faced me with a serious eyes as if he was so afraid that I might been hit by a motorcycle.

"Patanga-tanga ka talaga sa kalsada. Pasalamat ka't kasama mo ako sa mga oras na ito. Kung nagkataon na nabundol ka ng motorsiklo ay baka ngayon ay nagluluksa na ang aking puso."

"Huh?" I asked because I only heard a little from what he said. Ang tanging narinig ko lamang ay patanga-tanga ako sa kalsada. That was it because my mind was too occupied with so many things.

"Manhid na nga, bingi pa. Tsk tsk." disappointment was very evident in his voice.

We started walking silently. I tried to release my hand from our holding hand but he wouldn't let me. He hold my hand so tight that I want to complain.

"Adik." I rolled my eyes to him.

"Sa'yo." he added to what I said earlier.

Mas lalo tuloy kumunot ang aking noo. Why is he being so sweet ba kasi? Oo nga't crush ko sya pero hindi ako natutuwa. Infact, I'm starting to get angry with him because he was giving me a false hope. Pinapaasa nya lamang ako. But I suddenly thought that maybe he was too shy to confessed to me. That maybe he wants me to confessed first... but what if, this was just one sided love? What if he don't like me? What if he rejects me and our closeness turned into awkwardness? Ugh! Nalilito na ako! I think, the better thing that I must do was to go to the flow.

Aldwin placed my bag on my chair. I simply nodded my head to him as a sign of gratitude for carrying my bag.

We were vacant at this hour so all of my classmates were so busy in their businesses. Some were braiding their hair, some were playing killer games, some of the guys were sitting in each other laps and some were playing spin the bottle.

Speaking of that f*****g game... Joyce Ann invited me to join. I badly want to refused but Joyce Ann's charms were so unresistable so how do I say no?

"Tangina. Oo na. Sasali na." napipilitang sabi ko habang matunog na bumubuntong hininga.

Angel clapped their hands childishly as if it was achievement for them to make me participate in this kind of f*****g game. Yeye, Angel, Mimi, Irish, Jobelle, and Joyce Ann were the participants in this spin the bottle game.

Kapag minamalas ka nga naman, ako pa ang unang maaatasan na magpa-ikot ng bote. Pambira talagang buhay 'to.

I was about to spin the bottle but Jake loudly shout just to catch our attention.

"Bata, bata, pasali." he mocked the voice of an ordinary kid.

"Ayaw namin." I answered to make Jake annoyed.

"Edi don't." he turned his back to me so I laugh out loud.

I started to spin the bottle but then again, Jake came out of nowhere with a palaban expression.

"Isali nyo ako. Sasampalin ko kayo." he threatened us. Instead of became scared, all of us just laugh to him.

"Oo na. Sumali ka na. Haha."

Jake sat beside me. I continue to spin the bottle but someone stopped me again.

"Pasali ako."

My lips parted when I saw that Aldwin was interested to participate in this nonsense game. On the other hand, my friends were also can't believe that Aldwin was fond of playing spin the bottle.

"Anak ng teteng. Kung nasaan ako, nandoon rin sya. Hindi kaya, sinusundan nya ako?" Jake joked.

"Malamang, hindi! Asa ka naman na ikaw ang sinusundan nya. Kung ako ang sinusundan nya, pwede pa."

"Yuck, feelingera."

I ignored what Jake said. I looked to Aldwin who was hopefully asking Angel to allowed him to join the game. Well, Aldwin was also looking to everyone but his eyes were fixed to me. Hindi ko naman iyon natagalan so I looked away and I pulled Jake's shirt.

"Ano na naman?" he irritatingly asked.

"Tumingin ako sa kanya at tumingin din sya sa'kin. Hindi kaya may pagtingin kami sa isa't isa?" nag-iimagine na tanong ko.

"Alam mo, napaka-feelingera mo talaga." his loud laugh filled my two ears. I rolled my eyes to him. He just ruined my imagination! Bakit ko nga ba nasabi iyon sa kanya?

Aldwin sat beside me. All of us sat on the floor in a circle form. Pinanggigitnaan ako nila Jake at Aldwin so I'm a little uncomfortable. Pinaikot ko na ang bote at tumigil iyon kay Jake. Ang matigilan ng puwetan ng bote ang syang mag-uutos sa natigilan ng takip ng bote.

"Truth or dare?" I asked Jake.

"Truth." he was so sure about his answer.

"Hmm..." sandali akong natigilan upang mag-isip ng itatanong sa kanya. "Sinong crush mo?"

" 'Yung taong kausap ko ngayon." he answered so fast without thinking about it.

Tinukso na agad kami nila Joyce Ann so I shut them all. Hindi man lang ako kinilig sa sinabi ni Jake dahil halata naman na hindi sya seryoso sa sinagot nya sa'kin. I didn't believe him at all. Puro kalokohan nasa isip nya e.

"Spin the bottle na." I ordered in a natural voice. I need to show to him that I'm not affected to his answer to me.

Jake started to spin the bottle. Unfortunately, the lid of the bottle pointed at me. Pambihira! Ako agad uutusan. Dinadaya na nila ako! Pucha!

"Dare." Inunahan ko na si Jake.

"Kiss mo ko sa cheeks." he leaned closer to me.

Angel shouted so loud to tease the both of us.

"Ano? Wala namang magagalit ah! Friendly kiss lang naman." Jake explained.

Ilalapit ko na sana ang aking labi para gawaran sya ng halik sa pisngi ngunit bigla na lang nagsalita si Aldwin. His jaw clenched while fixing his dangerous eyes to me.

"Bawal PDA sa room." he said in a bitter and cold voice. I also sense jealousy behind it.

"Hays. Oo nga 'no?" Jake probaly thought that displaying affection inside the classroom was forbidden so he just command me to hold his hand for five seconds.

"Spin the bottle na." nangibabaw ang boses ni Aldwin.

He was so bored while patiently waiting until I spin the bottle. Naawa naman ako sa kanya kaya't bumitaw na ako sa kamay ni Jake. I start to spin the bottle and as a result, the lid of the bottle pointed at Aldwin.

"Truth or dare?" I was so happy while asking.

"Dare." he boredly answered. Sumali pa sya rito!

Dahil sa bored na sya ay basta na lang ako nag-utos ng hindi iyon pinag-isipan ng mabuti.

"Gamit ang bote, hampasin mo ng mahina sa ulo ang babaeng pinakahinahangaan mo."

Aldwin get the bottle in my hand. He looked around as if he was thinking of a girl that he will going to hit using the bottle. To my surprise, I felt like someone hitting my head. Aldwin looked at me while smiling and then he walked away, left me hanging.

After the class ended, my mind can't still get over of what he did. I'm confused, really really confused. Is that mean that he has a crush on me? Argh! He was driving me so f*****g insane.

I get my phone on the side table and chat him on messenger.

To: Crush❤

Hi. Anong ginagawa mo?

I was so nervous that he might just seen me but what happened was the opposite. He was typing... Yay!

From: Crush❤

kachat ko crush ko

For some reason, I felt like my heart was slowly breaking. I was hurting because I knew that I'm disturbing his conversation with his crush.

To: Crush❤

Aww, ganu'n ba? Pasabi na lang sa crush mo, sana ol.

After I sent that message, I decided to logged off in my account but my mind suddenly changed when I read his message. My eyes were so wide and the smile was drawn in my lips. Fucking... s**t. Is he f*****g serious?!!!!!

From: Crush❤

sana ol daw:)

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