Bleeding Heart still Pounds

Seeing him in the church

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!"

I jump on my bed several times. I also drub the foam of my bed because of romantic excitement. Oh my God! I can't hide what I am feeling right now. I am so happy because of what I read just a while ago. I just can't believe it. Is that mean that our feelings our mutual? Ugh! It was so frustrating! Anyways, I will just asked him tomorrow.

"Magandang umaga." I greet him energetically right after I placed my bagpack on my armchair.

"Mas maganda ka pa sa umaga." he gave me an affectionate smile and then he looked away. I saw that his ear turns into color red so I giggled.

Damn! Ako dapat ang kinikilig pero bakit sya pa itong namumula? And, why is his ears blushing anyway? Does that mean that he really like me?

Our class President command everyone to practice our yell so I stopped myself from thinking. Magtuturo kasi ang pilot section sa ordinary section. Ang mga athletes lamang ang pupwedeng hindi magparticipate sa yell competition.

Technically speaking, I can exclude myself in that yell competition because I am an athlete. Badminton player ako, remember?

"Excuse nga po sa mga players." I saw Grace who was smiling awkwardly to everyone.

I looked at Pat who was smiling genuinely to Grace. He was in shock but later on, he recovered from his reaction. Napatingin naman ako kay Grace na ngayon ay nag hi kay Pat. This was the reason why the four corners of the classroom was filled with the teasing voice of my classmate.

Aldwin unbuckled the belt of his brown khaki pants. The side of my lips rose up as I watch him slowly removing his pants. He was just wearing his black jersey shorts that ended in his knees. I looked away because he was so damn hot!

I need to fanned myself using my hand because Aldwin was slowly unbuttoning his white school uniform. I don't know how long I stared at his figure. Damn! He was so enticing in his basketball jersey outfit.

"Ashley, tara na."

I get back from my senses when Grace called me. I looked for my paper bag that contains my sports outfit. I also get my stringed racket and shuttlecock.

Lumabas na rin ako sa classroom. Ganoon din naman ang ginawa ni Aldwin pero hindi ko sya pinansin.

Grace accompany me to the girl's restroom. I wore my white polyester shirt, black polyester short and a pair of black badminton shoes. I also put my hair in a ponytail so that I will looked fresh.

"Tapos na 'ko. Arat na." yakag ko. Grace just nodded so we start to went on the badminton court.

Nadaanan pa namin sina Aldwin na naglalaro sa open court. Una kong madadaanan ang basketball court bago ang volleyball court.

I stopped from walking when I saw how good Aldwin at playing basketball. Though he's a little small but he can still shoot the ball to the ring. Well, he wasn't tall nor small, sakto lang height nya. His sweat was pouring down his forehead. I badly want to wipe it but I decided not to do so.

Grace walked towards my direction when he realized that I'm unfollowing her. She looked back to the guy that I'm looking at.

"Crush mo?" she asked all of the sudden.

Inalis ko ng mabilis ang tingin ko kay Aldwin. God! I didn't expect she will asked me this question.

"Hindi. Nagugwapuhan lang ako sa kanya." I looked away because I felt like my face was blushing. Damn! What the hell?!

"Gano'n din 'yon e." she chuckled.

I looked back at Aldwin again, ignoring what Grace said. Aldwin shoot the ball again. Napapalakpak tuloy ako ng wala sa oras. He looked at me while smiling. Because of embarassment, I looked down. God! Can I just vanished in the air?

I almost had a heart attack when a ball slowly went in my direction. I was freezed on the spot as if my feet was glued to the floor. I closed my eyes gently, accepting my fate that I will be hit by a ball. I waited a long time for the ball to hit my face. Kanina pa akong nakapikit at kataka-taka na hindi pa rin ako nasasapul ng bola.

"Justin! Pucha! Muntik na syang matamaan!"

I opened my eyes as soon as I heard Aldwin's seething voice. My mouth formed an 'o' when I saw him holding a ball for me. Wait, did he catch the ball for me?

"Sorry bro. Napalakas 'yung hagis ko ng bola. Hindi naman sya natamaan." Justin calmly explained.

"Kahit na. Muntik pa rin syang matamaan. Mabuti na lamang at nasalo ko 'yung bola. Kung nagkataon na natamaan sya, yari ka talaga sa'kin." Aldwin said in a stern voice. He throw the ball to Justin. Nasalo naman ito ni Justin at tatawa-tawa na bumaling sa iba pa nilang kaibigan.

My heart beats so fast when Aldwin held my wrist to check if I'm hurt. Natataranta kong inalis ang kamay nya sa'kin dahil nakukuryente na agad ako.

"Ayos lang ako. Oh sige. Aalis na ako. Practice na kayo. Hehe." I said awkwardly and I pulled Grace to drag her out in this place.

We walked on and on but Jake blocked our way just to pissed me off.

"Landi mo ghorl." eskandalosong sabi nya. Sa halip na mag-alala ay inaasar nya pa ako. Bwisit talaga.

Nilagpasan ko na lamang si Jake at dumeretso na kami sa badminton court. Grace was looking at me with her teasing eyes.

"Ano? Makikitukso ka rin?" I can't help but to feel irritated.

She chuckled again and shook her head. Suminghal na lamang ako dahil sa iritasyon. Bwisit na Aldwin. He was so paasa. Ayaw na nya lamang akong i-crushback. Nilalandin nya lamang ako for f**k's sake. Should I distance myself from him? Should I avoid him to stop myself from likinh him? I had time pa naman para pigilan ang aking nararamdaman pero... hulog na hulog na rin pala ako. Paano na ito?

"Matatalo tayo nyan sa laban kapag palagi kang lutang." Grace was worried.

Kanina ko pa pinapalo ang shuttlecock pero palaging outside the perimeter. If this thing continue then I was sure that we will lose. Nakakaguilty naman kaya sige, iwawaglit ko muna sa'king isipan si Aldwin.

"Tara! Magrerecess sa canteen." Grace induce me after we finished practicing.

"Sige. Aayusin ko lang gamit ko." I answered.

I fixed my stuffs and my things. Nilagay ko ang aking shuttlecock to make sure na hindi ito mawawala.

"Tapos na ako. Arat na."

When we are heading to canteen, I saw Aldwin who was drinking from his tumbler. His adam's apple was so attractive so I can't help but to take my eyes off it. His friends was also drinking their water. Si Jake lamang ang naiiba sa lahat. May hawak syang cellphone at landscape iyon kaya sure ako na nage-ml na naman sya. Kawawa naman sya. Nao-op na sya sa tropa nila Aldwin.

"Hmm, hmm... bro, iyon ba?" Justin pointed at me. Nag-iwas tuloy ako ng tingin dahil pinag-uusapan nila ako pero, bakit naman kaya?

Palihim akong tumingin kay Aldwin. He was looking at me so I looked away again.

"Yiieee, 'yun nga." kay Ren ang boses na iyon.

"Tangina. Baka marinig kayo. Ang ingay nyo!" kahit hindi ako nakatingin ay nasisiguro ko na binatukan ni Aldwin ang mga kaibigan.

"Yiieee, namumula ang tainga m-----"

"Tangina. Pwede bang tumahimik na lang kayo?" Aldwin's voice was running out of patient. I also sense that he was so embarassed.

For some reason, napangiti ako. The fact that I became their topic makes me so happy. Kung ano mang pinag-uusapan nila ay wala na akong pakialam pa. Masaya lang ako ngayon dahil namula ang kanyang tainga nang makita nya ako.

I rode the jeepney when our practice ended. Nang makasakay ako sa dyip ay labis akong nagsisisi dahil katabi ko rin si Aldwin. f**k! This was so f*****g awkward!

Inisip ko na lamang na hindi ko sya katabi to get rid of awkwardness. I just closed my eyes because I'm tired and sleepy. Hindi ako masyadong nakakatulog dahil palaging pumepreno ang dyip. Dahil sa pagot at sa antok ay nalalaglag na ang aking ulo sa balikat ng katabi ko. Pumereno ulit ang dyip kaya nagmulat ulit ako ng mata. Nagulat ako nang pagkamulat ko ay nakalagay ang aking ulo sa balikat nya. Natataranta kong inalis ang aking ulo sa kanyang balikat.

"Oh my God. Sorr---"

I stiffened when he placed my head onto his shoulders.

"Matulog ka lang sa balikat ko. Gigisingin na lang kita kapag nasa inyo ka na." his voice sounded so sweet. f**k! What did I just said? Oh my---- hulog na hulog na talaga ako.

I slowly nod my head to him. Probably because of I'm tired, I quickly fell asleep in his shoulders. I jerked out of sleep when I felt someone gently patting my cheek. He looked at me with a smile on his face.

"Malapit na tayo sa inyo."

"Ah, okay." I said in a tired voice, really really sleepy now.

Inalis ko ang aking ulo sa kanyang balikat. Nakakahiya! Baka minamasdan nya ang aking pagtulog. The jeepney meanwhile stopped infront of our neighborhood. I prepared my things so that I will not forget any of those. I was about to drop of the jeepney but I realized that I wasn't yet paying for my fare. I took of my wallet from my pocket but Aldwin hold my hand, the reason why I freezed again.

"Naibayad na kita ng pamasahe mo." he got the hint what were my eyes asking for. He removed his hands from holding my wrist. "Kita tayo bukas. Good night." I heard him saying right after I dropped off from the jeepney.

I was too tired and sleepy to logged in to my social media accounts. I wore my panjamas ang nightshirt and I quickly lie on the bed. I fell asleep at exactly 6:30 P.M. so I wake up early the next day.

Last day na ng practice namin ngayon so nag-overtime kami. Today was Friday so technically, we don't have classes tomorrow. Monday ang opening ng intramurals and by Friday ang awarding. This day went so well although I'm tired. Ayos lang 'yon, uuwi na rin naman ako sa bahay.

The next day was Saturday. Wala akong ibang ginawa kung hindi gumising, kumain, matulog, at kumain ulit. Same routine lang. There are times that my mother ordered me to clean the house but I refused to obey her. I'm too tired so I want more sleep.

Saturday had passed so now is Sunday. I wore an Emerald Green Self-Belt dress, green blue pointed flat sandals and emerald green sling bag in attending the church. May misa ngayon kaya naisipan kong magsimba. I put my hair on a half-ponytail. I almost finished in fixing myself when my phone suddenly vibrate. Kunot-noo kong tiningnan kung sino ang tumatawag. Oh, it was Jake.

"Hello." pagalit pang bati ko. Istorbo sya e.

[Libre ka ngayon? Punta tayong SM. Nood tayong sine.]

"Ayoko. Magsisimba ako ngayon."

Matagal na natahimik ang kabilang linya. Papatayin ko na sana ang tawag ngunit muli syang nagsalita.

"Sama ako Ashley. Intayin mo ako ha. Huwag mo akong iiwanan." his voice was serious as if may iba pang kahulugan iyong huling pangungusap na sinabi nya. O baka naman guni-guni ko lang 'yon.

"Oo. Nakabihis na ako. Dalian mo. Huwag mo akong pag-intayin ng matagal. Kita na lang tayo sa seven eleven malapit sa simbahan. Sige, bye." basta ko na lang pinatay ang tawag.

I went out on my room para magpaalam kay Mama. Nagulat pa sya dahil naisipan kong magsimba. Inirap ko na lang ang aking mga mata bago pumara ng dyip.

Exactly 9:30 A.M. nang makarating ako sa seven eleven. I waited for several minutes but when I get bored, I called Jake. Pucha! Babae pa talaga pinag-intay nya. Mahuhuli na kami sa misa.

[Ashley, naliligaw na ako. Potek! Ang daming simbahan dito.] his voice was panicking so I laugh a little.

"Nandito ako sa 7/11 malapit sa Cathedral Parish of Saint Paul the First Hermit."

[Hala! Saan ba 'yan? Ngayon ko lang narinig 'yang simbahan na 'yan. Naliligaw na ako. Huhu.] paiyak na ang boses nya kaya mas lalo akong natawa.

"Kaya mo na 'yan. Malaki ka na. HAHAHAHAHA." mas lalo ko pa syang inasar.

[Alam mo, bwisit ka. Saan nga kasi 'yang simbahan na 'yan?] his voice was running out of patient.

"Magwaze ka. Bobo nito."

[Wala akong load.]

"So ano, kasalanan ko pa na wala kang load?" sumbat na tanong ko pero deep inside, ang sakit na ng tiyan ko kakapigil ng tawa.

[Teka, nakita na kita. Letse ka.]

Nakatanggap ako ng batok sa likod. Napagtanto ko na si Jake iyon kaya binatukan ko rin sya.

We went inside the church. Nag-uumpisa na ang misa kaya nagkakanda-ubusan na ng upuan. Nagsisisihan pa kami ni Jake habang naghahanap ng bakanteng upuan. May sumuway sa'min kaya't natahimik kami.

Hindi rin nagtagal ay nakahanap na rin kami ng upuan. Jake and I sat in the pew. We are so comfortable sitting in the pew. Maya-maya pa'y naghomily na si father kaya't nakinig na lamang kami. There were times that Jake rested his head on my shoulder so I just let him. Tinulak ko lang ang ulo nya nang makita ko ang paparating na si Aldwin. He's with his sister, brother and father.

Aldwin saw that our pew was vacant so he walk towards us.

"Jake..." pagsiko ko sa kanya.

"Ano?" pagalit na tanong nya dahil nang itulak ko ang kanyang ulo ay nauntog ito.

"Nandito si Aldwin." impit na kilig na sabi ko.

"Eh ano naman? Ikaw ha? Tigilan mo 'yang kalandian mo. Nandito tayo para magsimba, hindi para mangharot ng tao." sermon nya.

Sumingkit ang aking mata nang marinig ko ang salitang 'mangharot.' Grabe naman 'yung term na 'yon. Parang ang vulgar. Pwede namang manglandi na lang.

I shifted back my eyes to Aldwin. He was wearing a black jordan shirt, plain black trendy urban shorts, and a black casual sneakers. As of the accesories, he was wearing a silver necklace with a silver ring as it's pendant. He was also wearing a black smartwatch so he looked so decent and hot. Well, palagi naman syang hot sa paningin ko. Wala namang bago!

Aldous which was his brother was wearing the same of what Aldwin was wearing. Ang pagkakaiba nga lang ay hindi sya masyadong nagsusuot ng accesories. Tanging stainless cross chain ang suot nya sa kaliwang tainga. Infairness, badboy ang galawan. His father was wearing a jeans and a black shirt while his sister was wearing a black off-shoulder dress. I wowed to his sister's physical appearance. She was so alluring and she stand out among the crowd.

Muli ko ulit tiningnan si Aldwin. He frowned so I wonder why. Hinayaan ko na lang na isandal ni Jake ang kanyang ulo sa'king balikat. Nakinig na lang ako sa misa. To be honest, I'm a little uncomfortable because Aldwin was glancing at me secretly. Bakit ba kasi?! Lalandiin nya ba ako dito sa loob ng simbahan? Jusko! I kenat!!!!!

Tumayo na kami dahil kakanta na ng Ama Namin. Itinaas ko ang aking dalawang kamay sa ere at dinama ang presensya ng Panginoon. I started to sing pero may humawak sa'king kamay kaya iminulat ko ang aking mga mata. I realized that it was just Jake so I'm kind of relief. I closed my eyes again. Ilang saglit pa ay naramdaman ko na may humawak ulit sa kabila ko namang kamay.

"Oh my Gos---"

"Ssssshhhhh." Aldwin cut me off. Kumakanta sya habang hawak ang aking kamay. He looked so calm and he was acting as if holding my hand wasn't a big deal. Pero para sa'kin, big deal ito dahil pinapaasa nya na naman ako.

Natapos ang misa kaya't napagdesisyunan na namin na umalis na. Nahinto lamang kami sa paglalakad palabas ng simbahan nang marecognize ako ng Ate ni Aldwin.

"Hey. I've seen you before. You are so familiar. We've met before, right?" she pointed at me. She was so fluent when it comes in speaking in English. Foreigner ba sya? Mukha namang hindi pero bakit bihasang-bihasa syang magsalita ng English. Oh, bigla kong naalala. I saw her in his teacher uniform so I guess, she was teaching English.

"Oh, I suddenly remember. You went in our house before, right? You... you..." nagpatuloy sya sa pagpapalagitik ng daliri. "you took care of my younger brother when he was sick. Naalala ko na!"

"Ahh, opo. Hehe." it was so awkward.

Nag-iiwas na rin si Aldwin, nahihiya na rin sa pinagsasasabi ng Ate nya. Pero bakit naman sya mahihiya?

"If you don't mind, you can come in our house today. I will cook something for you. Let us all hang-ou------"

"Ate!" si Aldwin na madidilim na ang mga mata. "Tumahimik ka na, pwede?"

"Why? I'm just inviting her in our hous----"

"Ate! Hindi mo sya pupwedeng ayain sa bahay natin dahil magagalit ang boyfriend nya!!!!!" Aldwin shouted so loud that the other people look on us. Sa matinding kahihiyan ay nagwalk-out na lang sya.

Pinigil ko ang aking tawa habang sinusundan ng tingin si Aldwin. Pucha! Nagseselos ba sya?! How makes him think that Jake and I were together?! Nahihibang na sya! Sira na talaga ulo nya!!! Natatawang sinundan ni Aldous ang nakababatang kapatid samantalang ang kanilang ama ay may kausap pa rin sa phone hanggang ngayon.

"I'm sorry, I did not recognized you. And I'm also sorry for not realizing that this handsome man beside you was your boyfriend." she has an apologetic eyes.

"Gwapo ko raw. Daig." bulong ni Jake sa'king tainga. Pasimple ko syang kinurot para tumahimik sya.

"Okay lang po. Ah, aalis na po kami. May pupuntahan pa po kasi kami." kahit ano yatang gawin ko ay hindi na maaalis ang awkwardness na aking nararamdaman.

"Oh, right! I almost forgot that couple nowadays was dating at the mall, park or it could be everywhere. Well anyways, I'll see the two of you around." she smile so sweetly before she left me with Jake.

Pagkatapos ng pag-uusap namin ng Ate ni Aldwin ay dumeretso na kami sa bahay. Pinipilit pa nga ako ni Jake na magdate raw kami kaya eto, we are watching dvd's while eating popcorn.

My phone suddenly vibrate so I get it from the center table. Namilog ang mga mata ko nang makatanggap ng message galing kay Aldwin.

"I love y..." halos tumili na ako ngunit natigil din ako nang may mapagtanto. Bakit putol ang chat nya? It was supposed to be 'i love you' hindi i love y.'

Nagulat ako nang biglang agawin ni Jake ang cellphone ko. He was typing and then after that, binalik na nya sa'kin ang phone.

I frowned as I read what he typed earlier.

To: Crush❤

bf nya 'to

Pinanlisikan ko ng mata si Jake na sya namang ikinatawa nito. Naghagis ako ng throw pillow sa kanya pero agad nya itong sinalo.

"Huwag mong i-unsent. Tingnan natin kung paano nya lulusutan 'to." at chill lang talaga sya matapos nyang sabihin na mag-on kami.

"I HATE YOU JAKE!" halos isumpa ko na sya.

He smirk and lean closer to hugged me.

"I love you Ash." he hugged me as a sign that I must trust him.

Kinuha ko ulit ang aking cellphone sa center table dahil tumunog ito. Inunahan ako ni Jake sa pagbabasa. Natatawa nyang binalik ang aking cellphone with matching paghawak sa kanyang tiyan.

I got curious why is he laughing too loud so I quickly read Aldwin's message. Napahagalpak ako ng tawa nang mabasa ang reply nya. What the hell?!

From: Crush❤

i love yakult :)

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ツ