ON HOLD CHERRY {Chérre}

Calm Before the Big O

VINCENT.

I sat at my desk patiently twiddling with my pen. I stared at the door; occasionally glancing at my clock. The hands ticked slowly. Cher was running late; about 25-30 minutes late. I dread yet long for every second that passes. There was an unsettling feeling in my chest as if something terrible awaited me once she arrived. At the same time, I was exceptionally excited to have her presence around me again.

—

Soon I can hear the stomping of feet outside on the porch. Too afraid to look, I pretend as if I was occupied with my calendar that was plastered on my desk. Two heavy knocks bang on my front door followed by the door bell. My body shutters reactively. I quickly push back on my desk getting up. Fixing my shirt and hair, I head to the door. The knocking continues, and I very much can tell it’s her. I slightly hesitate as I grip the door, but I manage to keep my composure. Swinging it open, Cher greets me dressed in a picnic floral dress and converse. Simple yet so elegant. She swung her bag to and fro all whilst sunglasses covered her eyes.

"Come in." I nonchalantly open my arm allowing her to enter. Without speaking to me she walks in automatically sitting down. I follow behind her watching as she slides into her desk.

"Did you study any of our previous lessons over the weekend?" I pulled out my heavily notated literature book leaning against the edge of my desk. She still doesn’t respond as she rummages through her bag placing a pen and notebook down.

"Did you happen to re—" a heavy sigh cut me off as she removes her sunglasses.

"I left my book at home on accident." She groaned clasping her hands. She was clearly hungover or sleep deprived.

"W-well that's okay. I'll just guide you along with mine." I walk over grabbing a spare chair having a seat across from her. She turns, and looks at me with a blank stare. I ignore it, and place my book on her desk so we both could view it.

"So Friday, we left off on Act three of Hamlet. Do you remember what the premise of the beginning was?" I flow into the lesson with the events of Saturday night growing stronger in my mind as I speak to her.

—

Half way through I notice Cher not being very interested in our discussions. Whether she wasn't looking at me directly or not wanting to answer my questions fully and to her best ability. I knew the reasoning for her behavior, but refused to address it. I knew if I brought it up it'd only complicate things further, and make her more upset than she seemed.

"Cher." I softly said grabbing her attention. Her head sat in her palm as she tilts it to me.

"Vincent." She responds with repressed emotion. Her eyes are darkened and heavy like she didn’t get much sleep.

"I t-think you may be struggling with understanding the lesson." I attempt to call out to some nonexistent reason for her lack of attention. She sighs again leaning back into the chair.

"Maybe we should...try and find a way to get you back into the motion. With it being Monday and all." Enthusiasm desperately crawls out of me.

"Like what? Reading more of this boring ass play?" Her hand flicks the book flap, and her eyes steer from me.

—

"Now follow along in the book as the actors speak." I sit my English book in her lap and turn to the tv. On the television, was Hamlet the play.

"This whole time you had a dvd while we were reading?" Cher complains as her eyes glue to the screen.

"It's not ideal. You still need to do your part and read." I snarl at her.

"Fine. Thanks." She’s more responsive. I then sit on the other side of the sofa far from her. Time went on as she read along with the film. Minutes ticked by, and while I watched her learn, my eyes eventually grew heavy. I leaned against the cushion slightly resting my neck.

—

CHER.

Hours pass as I flip through the channels on the television. I skipped lunch not wanting to wake Vincent let alone sit in a diner or restaurant with him. I glance over as he was slumped and fast asleep. My heart races looking at him. I scoot closer to him in an attempt to subtly wake him. He snores lightly obviously in a very deep rest, but not completely knocked out. I lean into him bringing my face close to his.

"Psst. Vincent." I whisper. He shifts his head, but remains unaware. Bringing my face even closer, with my knees now on the sofa, I can feel his breath on my skin. I whisper again causing him to shift even more. His hand then falls from his lap touching my knee. I look down to see it instinctively open, and it comes more and more in contact with me. I hold my breath trying not to make a sound as I attempt to move away. His body then turns facing me. Our faces were now directly pointed at each other. My stomach jumps as I fear his eyes would open while he was touching me. I can see his lips part as if he were trying to speak. Before I could move completely away, he muttered deeply. "..Cher..." His breathy voice so almost silent.

"Yes?" I softly respond. His hand continues lightly caressing my knee and his muttering carries on. I wait about 1 minute for him to open his eyes, and say something only to realize he was talking in his sleep.

'Is he dreaming about me?'

I began to back up even more placing my feet down on the floor. His hand remains on my thigh as he adjusts ‘himself’ with the other. I grew nervous watching his c**k inch more and more up; still in shock he was dead asleep. 'Just wake him up' I thought to myself. I reach towards his shoulder lightly tapping it. He groans in response frowning his face. I tap him again this time adding more pressure.

"Vincent!" I called to him again. He slowly begins coming to his senses reaching to rub his eyes. I let out a sigh of relief, and sit back normally on the sofa acting as if nothing happened. He leans forward giving me a grumpy glance.

"What time is it?" His voice raspy and hollow. I shrug my shoulders looking at my hands; avoiding conversation once again. We both look over to the window to see the streetlights flicker on. Vincent quickly pulls out his watch then rushes to get his jacket.

"Why didn't you wake me up!?" He scolds me. I didn't respond as he rummaged for his keys. Throwing his jacket on, he went into his desk. I get up and follow him to see what he was doing.

“It’s not big deal. I’ll just say we had an impromptu field trip or something.” I lean against my desk not wanting him to be angry at me. He took his cell phone cursing under his breath.

"Yes Sir, I'm sorry, I'm taking her home now." His words stammered while speaking with my dad. He hung up rubbing his hands over his face.

"You know how upset he gets when he doesn’t hear from you. He'll probably murder me for it." His voice was intense.

"Its not like it the worst thing we’ve done..." I speak out of my neck, but still loud enough for him to hear. He briefly pauses glancing at me subtly.

"Guess you're right." He softly says back almost having relief that I acknowledged Saturday night. I get ready to walk to the door only for him to stop me before I could.

"Cher." He comes up to me. "Do you wanna talk about—" before he could even finish, I turn to walk out the door. "Cher..." he followed. I put my hand on the door knob, but he quickly stops me with his pressing against the door.

"We have to talk about it. You know we do." He exclaims. He towers over me with his arm above my head. Staring into his eyes I could see the same desperation on his face as that night.

"Just.. take me home Vincent" I say not breaking our gaze. He looks down taking in my words.

—

The night sky was silent as the humming of the car filled the air. Vincent occasionally glances over waiting for me to say something.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone if that's what you're trying to get out of me." I rest my head on my hand.

"Good. I mean, I wasn’t expect you to." He rapidly responds, "Look Cher, what happened that night shouldn't or doesn't mean anything. It was stupid." He adds.

"Are you telling that to 'me' or to yourself?" I inquire from him, "I'm serious. I don't think you get how much this can change things.

"Says the man having wet dreams about me? Do you wanna talk about that?" I snark at him.

"W-what are you talking about?" He chokes up slightly. We pull to a red light and I turn to him crossing my arms.

"That's.. none of your concern. I don’t even know how you came to such an assumption." He brushes me off turning his face from mine. "I think it is." I lean closer to him.

"Don't make it seem like I'm the only one harboring feelings." He looks at me with a slight frown as I press into him with me eyes, "What does it matter if I tell you?" He softly spoke back melting into my glare. I think for a brief second then inch closer to him. “What matters, is that I want you to admit you wanted me that night..and still do.” I almost switch instantly from indifferent anger to intrigued lust. He doesn’t know what to say which prompts me to boldly and firmly place my hand on his crotch.

“Cher! What the f**k?” He looks around even though we were the only ones in the car.

“If you say you want me, I’ll stop. If you say you don’t want me, I’ll still stop, but we will never see each other again outside of school, and once I graduate. That includes lunch, car rides..and dinner parties. So what is it?” I’m split down the middle of which response I want more from him. I can feel the bass of his heartbeat in my hand. I keep my it still occasionally flexing my finger tips over his now growing bulge.

Even though I wanted this moment to end, I still wanted to know if he truly felt any ways about me. Or else I'd never get the opportunity again.

"You could make this easier for us. Or harder. Either way I'll get what I want outta you Vincent." I confidently add in a way that makes him almost flinch. His lips part, but no words come out. Soon the light turns green making him quickly turn to the wheel. He tries to take my arm, and move my hand, but I didn’t waver. A slight awkwardness grew over us quickly. My face was now parallel to the side of his.

“Just tell me.” I whisper, my other hand now in his thigh for support. I began to tug at his belt which finally breaks him.

"Cher. I'll admit that my feelings towards you have changed." His voice is low as the car hums, "I haven't been proud of my emotions either. It’s like I can’t properly function around you sometimes." He made my heart sink to my stomach. I can’t bring myself to ask for the specific details.

"Either way things should stay formal between us.." he trails off and I remove my hands finally. His body fully relaxes, and I knew his refusal was a facade. I know he only brushes me off to keep me from pursuing him fully. Still, I dig deeper, knowing that I wanted this as much as he didn’t want me to.

"Y-you haven't told me your...feelings." he quickly changes the subject to me. I sigh looking down at my hands.

"Look, you got what you wanted from me." He grows slightly cold, "And if I don’t tell you?" I shoot back.

"Like you said. This can be easy or hard." He instantly rebuts getting a chuckle out of me. Part of me wants to be defiant just so I can see what he’s capable of, but I know I can’t give in to ‘him’ so easily.

VINCENT.

In the midst of our conversation we arrived at Cher's home. She turns her head to me. Her eyes were tired, yet still bright as they stared at me intensely.

"I don't think I should keep my dad waiting any longer." She says grabbing her bag. I sigh in frustration watching her open her door to leave.

"Also you know he's gonna wanna have a word with you." She reaches over my lap taking the key from my ignition. She looks over her shoulder, our faces inches apart, and smiles slyly. She then proceeds to get out the car with my keys, leaving me no choice but to follow her. I get out, and walk towards the house.

—

"I deeply apologize for being so late sir. Cher and I both lost track of the lesson. Its rightfully my fault." I splatter my words trying to explain myself. Her father sat across from her, gripping his cane.

"And what about this ‘lesson’ was so riveting to where both of you lost the time?" He suspiciously asked. I hesitated causing Cher to jump in, "While I read through Hamlet, Vincent grew tired and fell asleep I didn't really keep track of the time. Then..." She trails off. My palms grow sweaty waiting for her to finish. She looks over to me with sultry glance, and I shake my head ever so slightly as a warning.

"And then I took it upon myself to finish the rest of the play and my report. He was asleep and I was too busy reading. By the time I finished, that’s when I woke him up, and the street lights came on." Her lie rolls off her tongue like cold butter to a hot knife. My knees slightly buckle and I erupt in a nervous laugh. Her father chuckles also getting up from his seat.

"Well isn't that quite the convenience." He walks towards the kitchen studiously. Cher then turns to me squeezing my hand. "You owe me a for covering our butts." She whispers.

"Says the one who put us in this situation." I shoot back. She gave me a relaxed grin.

We sit here at the table briefly alone as her father had been tending to something.

"I should get going Cher." I scoot back in my chair standing up. Fixing my clothes, she clears her throat

"Leaving so soon?" She stares up at me, "Not planning on sneaking upstairs are you?" Her sarcasm prompts me to shush her in fear her father would hear. She then also stands from her chair approaching me.

"You weren't much for talking in the car and now isn’t a good time." I whisper softly. Her eyes are still heavy, but she keeps a soft glow in her face.

"But isn't it a little exciting to be in another such a risky situation. You know that feeling pretty well." She grins.

"What do you what me to say?" I keep a hushed tone. Before she can respond her father enters the dining the room once more.

"Cher why don't you see Vincent to his car. And when you get back make sure your bag is packed for tomorrow." He orders approaching me with my check.

"Pack? Tomorrow?" I question as Cher appears to not have informed me of some news. "Oh shoot, I forgot." She quickly walks to the front door reaching into a sender bag. She then takes out an envelope, “I couldn’t find any stamps, and forgot to mail it.” She hands it to me. Confused, I open it envelope placing the $2000 check in my pocket.

“My daughter, Cher Bennet, will be on a ballet dance trip for the next 4 days from April 11 to April 14. Please note that any assignments/homework for that week will need be dropped off in the morning before 8am. If you wish to contact us the number is: 555-2389.

Sincerely, Robert Bennet”

Cher grabs my arm leading me out the door. "I thought you said the trip wasn't until next month after you graduated?" I ask annoyed.

"Well it was. Until it was moved to this week." She explains, not all that bothered we wouldn’t see each other. The thought of her being gone makes me anxious. Frustrated, I began walking to my car.

"You're still getting all your assignments in full." I add out of spite.

"What?! You're still giving me work?" She follows, "It was classwork and now you've made it homework." I explain back. Reaching my car, I stop in my tracks at a sudden realization.

"Forgetting something?" Cher says as I hear the jingle of my keys. I approach her as I grow more irritated at her manipulative behavior.

"I don't have to do homework on a trip if I don't want to." She twiddles the keys around her finger. "I don't have time for this. Give me the keys" I clench my jaw wanting her to just stop.

"Are you upset cause you're gonna miss me?" She smiles stepping closer, "Cher I'd much like it if you just handed me my keys" I try keeping my composure, "You didn't have a problem staying the last time you were here." Her negging persists.

"Just say you'll mi—" I quickly grab her wrist yanking the keys out her hand. She winces pulling away from me. I walk to the drivers side unlocking the door only for her to still approach. My attempt to enter my car was thwarted as she was practically standing under me.

"What do you want from me?" I stare her down now emotionally checked out.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy me messing with you." She stares back almost seducing me in a way.

"I honestly don't have the energy right now Cher. I hope you enjoy your trip." I protest trying to pull the handle only for her to inch closer to my face with the same devilish expression.

"The least you could do is give me a goodbye kiss." She whispers as lacing her hand on my belt. I almost cannot believe my ears. Even then, I follow suit with no hesitation failing. I open the door and she crawls in over to the passenger. I get in starting the car as to not seem suspicious.

“Are you s-” she takes my face placing her lips on mine. I instantly react by dipped her under me. Her hair was intertwined in my fingers as our lips sloppily slide across one another’s. My mind races with millions of thoughts all whilst she kissed back passionately. Once again, we find ourselves in the same place we started. Her arm was wrapped around my neck as she practically lays on top of me. Moments pass, and time seems infinite. I can feel her hands make their way to my chest. She lightly pushes away.

"s**t" she curses. I open my eyes and notice the porch light turn on. I quickly push away from Cher, and she falls back in shock. Before I could say anything, she gets out sprinting back towards her house. My knees turn into jello and I rub them firmly in order to hit the driving pedals properly. I watch as she pads into the house looking out at me through the window. I throw my head against the headrest and a sinking wave of emotion over came me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~