ON HOLD CHERRY {Chérre}

How to Crack an Egg

NEW YORK.

Me and my dad walk up to a small studio as loud piano music blares from it. I look in the window and see both men and women dancing around and doing warm ups. “What if they hate me?” I was nervous seeing all of the older women practicing and looking completely professional. “You’re just as good as them. Now you might struggle since you’ve had quite the break from your last studio after the ‘incident’; but those feet? Pristine.” He pats my cheek. I took a deep breath before walking in. The smell of must and various perfumed lotions filled my nose. I sneeze which causes attention to be brought onto me. They go back to their practice and walk over to a bar sitting down. I place my ballet shoes on having to fix the straps multiple times, “Damnit.” I struggle to get the anchoring right. “Do you need help?” A woman approaches with her dance bag sitting beside to me. “They’re new. I usually can do this part.” I was nervous interacting with someone who was roughly my age or closer to it. “Rule #1 never wear a shoe without breaking it in first.” She removes one of my shoes and begins almost destroying it. I watch as she places it back on me, “Better? You can do more of its not exact.” She hands me a tool to ‘break them in’ further. “Thank you.” I take it being moved that she was actually being kind to me. “Okay Ladies and Gentlemen!” A man with a broad voice and French accent came in. He reminded me of my 2nd grade teacher Mr. Debbie. He was bald and a little stubby but very tall. He immediately notices me as I was still fixing my other shoe. “You.” He points snapping his finger, then gets handed a clip board. “Class actually started yesterday. You’re not on the sign in sheet? What’s your name?” He lowers his glasses staring me down. I gulp feeling my chest become hot as I tie my shoe and stand up, “My name..is Cherry Bennet. Cherry like ‘Sheree’ not the berry.” I explain and he looks down at a paper nodding his head, “Ah,there you are.” He hands the clip board back to his assistant. “Now that you ALL are here, I’ll remind you once more that I will be choosing 2 dancers, male and female, to attend my private dance studio in the fall. Upon attending, I expect nothing but the best you have to offer. Or else you’ll be sent home.” He clapped his hands and we line all up. “Melissa and Paulo. Run through the dance solo for everyone.” He calls two dancers to the front.

—

I didn’t get a partner yet as I continue to run through the solo parts of the dance. Prior to my finally run of the dance, I developed a bruise on my shin and shoulder after stupidly attempting a spin that slammed me into the wall. Before I could fall into the finally pose the music stops. “Chèrre!”The dance director calls out and I didn’t realize he was trying to say my name. The dancers clear from around me as he studies me and and down. “Your mid section is very small, no? Jean!” He calls to a male dancer. “Let’s do a few lifts and prances.” He wraps both his hands around my waist trying to guage the grip. Jean comes over and I shyly wave. He comes behind me and the director cues the piano. We began a prance and he occasionally tosses me in the air into various poses. Eventually the piano stops and people clap as we stand out of breath. “Magnifique!” He cheers, “Was that good?” I wipe my sweaty forehead. “Good? It was amazing darling.” He takes my face kissing my still damp forehead. I blushed as other dancer gave me encouraging smiles.

—

My entire body was stiff as I remove a thawed cold pack from my neck. I take my shoes office to see heavy bruising and slight bleeding “Seems like you and I are first choice.” Jean came next to me as I pull my socks over my beaten feet. “It’s only day 2. We’ll see by Friday.” I try being realistic, but really, the idea of getting shipped off if I was chosen was terrifying. “So, where are you from? I’m from Poland.” He laces up his sneakers not taking his eyes off of me. “Oh..a place called Heavenview. It’s in Maine and there’s like a bunch of old people that live there.” I rest my chin on my knee. “Well it’s nice to meet you Cherry.” He held his hand out and I shook it saying the same back.

—

THAT FRIDAY.

“Chèrre!” The director shouts and I jump from my seat. “You’re up with Luke.” He stares at his clip board pointing to the center floor with a pen. I take a deep breath as I get up. While walking to the center, I can’t help but think of how miserable I’d be if I was in France all alone. Luke comes behind me as we get into our poses to start. The music begins and I purposely trip over the first few steps hitting the floor. Gasps and murmurs can be heard as I look over to the director who was not happy. I continue the dance like normal, Luke whispering for me to keep it together.

The dance ends and Luke immediately starts complaining. “I must get another partner and do it again! She messed up the beginning!” He declares as I stand there wanting to go back to my seat immediately. “No. You all are judged separately. One of you messing up does not hurt the other.” He quickly wrote something down on his clipboard before calling the next duo. “Amala and Jean!” He calls out which is my cue to sit down. I give Jean a small thumbs up and he does the same back as we pass each other.

—

END OF THE DAY.

“Okay ladies and gentlemen. I’ve made my decision.” He announces and quiet excitement can be heard and felt. “Now before you get your hopes up. I will contact the dancers I’ve selected via phone call first thing in the morning. You can go home or back to your hotels, you’ve all done an amazing job.” He oozed professionalism in a way that ensured people wouldn’t be leaving today in tears.

I make a b-line to the changing room as my foot starts to throb and sting. I sit on a counter top taking my shoe and sock off. “Damn..” I look to see swelling around my pinky toe. If the fall didn’t ensure me not getting picked, a broken toe will definitely do the job. I wrap it up tightly after putting some numbing cream from one of the girls on it. I came out of the changing room to see the director waiting with a stern look. “Sorry for messing up.” I pull my hair out of the tightly gelled bun. “Come into my office we need to speak.” He was serious, and very upset and I felt my stomach drop. I knew he was mad over the stunt I pulled, but I didn’t care if it meant the worst.

—

I sat down as he closed the office door taking his glasses off. “Why did you throw the dance?” The director sits in his chair locking his fingers. The fact that he could see right through me made me feel foolish for messing up like that in front of everyone. “I, uh, I don’t think this is cut out for me. Everyone else’s much more experienced than me.” I shift on the small wooden stool while it painfully stabbed my thighs. “Why is that hm? Is someone bullying you, making you feel this way? You’re more advanced that any other dancer I’ve seen this week, and most of the woman there were over 30. It’s YOU Chèrre.” His play on my name slightly wins me over, but I’m still frightened. “Is it the fact that my studio is in another country? Don’t worry, you have a full ride, free of charge. We also offer housing, but judging by your income that shouldn’t be a problem.” He put his glasses back on as he pulls out my application. “Full ride?” I don’t realize what we were speaking of until he mentions, ‘Full Ride’. He took his glasses off once more almost irritated with my obliviousness. “Yes Cher. You made it. You’re in. Practice starts in the fall.” He gets up handing me a professional ballet contract as well as the dates and scheduling for his studio. “Take it with you and go over it carefully. If you want it, drop it off first thing in the morning signed.” He pats my shoulder finally giving me a smile. “Thank you.” I still can’t process what was happening as I gather my things leaving.

I came out to see Jean standing with his contract as we were the only ones left in the studio by now. His smile widens seeing that I actually was chosen like he predicted. The excitement finally hit me, and I couldn’t help but jump into his arms in celebration. “See I told you, no?” He holds me tight burying his face in my neck. As he swayed me back and forth, I notice the hug going on for a little too long so I break it. “So, uh, do you go back to Poland tonight?” We turn to walk to the exit. “My flight’s in couple days. I finally can start sightseeing now.” His eyes are bright which makes me consider going if it meant he was there also.

“Wanna talk about it over lunch?” He shrugs while holding the strap of his bag with one hand. I look out to see my ride hasn’t arrived yet. “Actually.” I think to myself deeply then turn to him with a grin, “Sure, I just need to make a call.”

—

I walk to the studio payphone putting two quarters in. “Hello?” Carol answers sounding like she was getting dressed. “Carol? I’m calling to say the audition isn’t for another 2 hours. Michèl wants us practicing more.” I lie, but she sounds relieved she can get more sleep now. “Just let me know when you’re ready dear. Maybe take a cab if you can.” She audibly lays back down hanging up. I put the phone on the hook, but my hand twitches prompting me to put two more quarters in.

“..Vincent? Hello?” I whisper even though I didn’t need to. “Who-Cher?” He instantly recognizes my voice. “A-are you back? Everything okay? Is this your number?” His voice is gravely as if he were drinking heavily the night before. “No, I’m calling from a payphone. How are you?” I feel my thighs shaking, and I couldn’t tell if it was from him, the dancing, or that painfully small stool. He seems uninterested as he shuffles around. “I’m fine. You come back tomorrow, right? Did you do you homework?” I can hear him get up followed by a few morning coughs. “Yes and no. But I’m sure your paid vacation wasn’t filled with teacherly work.” I try being cheeky which gets a chuckle out of him. “Well this must mean you’ll be working double time to get those grades submitted huh?” He let out a yawn while simultaneously sighing. “I understand. I just want to see how you’re doing.” I tightly squeeze the phone, almost breaking it. There’s a silence from him which makes me think he’s still mad at me for leaving without proper notice. “I’ll be doing a lot better once you’re back to tearing my head off.” I can sense him smirking, and my body finally relaxed. “Good. I gotta go.” I quickly hang up falling back against the wall. My butterflies were cut short, but were restarted when Jean walked in. “Ready?” He held out a helmet and I’m taken aback. “You drive a motorcycle?” I take the shimmery white helmet with flashers on the back. “You scared?” He smiles and I feel conflicted, but eventually follow him out putting it on. We get to the motorcycle, and my head feels wobbly with the heavy helmet. “Where are we going to eat?” I ask throwing my leg over the back. He laughs before putting his matte black helmet on. “Well, I kind of had something different in mind in terms of ‘lunch’” he looks back with a conniving smile and my butterflies were now at 100.

—

My n*****s were sore as Jean holds one of my breasts tightly in his palm. His body slams into me rapidly, and I can do nothing but brace myself and ‘moan’. I didn’t understand if this was suppose to feel good as he rammed into me senselessly. Soon he came into the condom burying his face in my chest. “Fuck..” he curses as he pulls out still laying on top of me. His hand held my face, but I turned away. “What’s wrong?” He stares up at me worried that I didn’t like it. I didn’t. My body felt like it was 500 pounds with him on top of me as my thighs, v****a, and lower abdomen throb. He lifts himself up only for his eyes to turn into fear when he looked down. I sit up on my elbows looking down as well. A small patch of light brownish-red blood stained the sheets and I look at it blankly. “s**t, I didn’t..” he feels bad not realizing I was a virgin. He helps me up in his arms, us both still very naked, and my legs were practically jello. He takes me to his hotel bathroom turning on the shower. “I’m sorry.” I try to murmur, but he shushes me. “Why are you sorry?” He helped me in, “I’m sorry for being so rough.” He grabs a wash cloth cleaning between my legs. I still am a little stoic as the water drenches me from head to toe. He eventually joins into the shower and we embrace for a while. This is not how I pictured losing my virginity, and almost wish I hadn’t.

—

THE DAY BEFORE.

VINCENT.

I patiently wait in my car tapping my thumb on my knee. I look down to my feet wishing I choose a different pair of dress shoes. Soon my passenger door swings open. “Hey!” It was the waitress from the restaurant who’s name I discovered was Penny. She wore a sleek black dress that showed way more cleavage than normal and her bright blonde hair was bone straight. She gets in throwing her purse on the back seat. “Smart of you to slip your number in that 20. Was that your girlfriend or something?” She didn’t buckle her seatbelt leaning over for a kiss. “How about dinner first. We can see how things are then.” I block her with my elbow. She sits back in shock placing her seatbelt on. I pull off already regretting my decision.

—

I was two and half glasses of wine in as Penny rambled about things I wasn’t all that interested in. “And then I said, ‘You’re gonna have to order two plates if you want double-’ Vincent? Are you listening?”she stops her sentence snapping at me. I wake from my deep thought nodding. “Oh yeah, sorry. What we’re you saying?” I pick up my fork poking at the one third of steak left on my plate. She throws her napkin on her table before laughing out of frustration. “Look Vincent. You’re a nice guy and all, but obviously you’re not as into me as I thought you were.” She sighed grabbing her purse. “Wait!” I took her hand, “What? Sorry, you failed.” She takes a tip out of her purse throwing it by her drink. I do the same with double the amount as to show I’m not some loser trying to get by. “So the date failed. I’ll admit that.” I got up raising my hand for the tab. “So what’s your way of fixing it?” She crosses her arms. The waiter hands me the tab and I even add an extra $50 tip as she watched. “You still can come home with me if you want. Plus, I kinda need a ride home.” I pull my car keys out dangling them as I pointed to the almost finished wine bottle I solo’d. She scrunches her nose before taking the keys.

—

We knock over a lamp as she leaps into me aggressively. Her legs wrap around me and I try my best to blindly navigate to the couch. We fall on to it as she unbuckled my pants. I move her dress past her shoulders exposing her breasts. She reaches over turning off the side table lamp for more of a mood. I don’t know if I was drunk or insane, but the shadow on her face seemingly transforms her into Cher as I look at her. I blink, and she’s back to looking like herself. “Everything okay?” She gets up dropping her underwear, and I pull her down for a kiss without hesitation.

“Don’t c*m yet.” She picks up the pace and I hold her hips trying my hardest to slow her down. My eyes were shut and legs numb as I did my best not to c*m like she said. “Kiss me.” She demands, and I open my eyes only to be met with the same sight of Cher. She leans in, but as soon as our lips touch I’m brought back to the moment with Cher and I in my car. Right then and there, I unloaded into my condom uncontrollably. She breaks the kiss stopping her bouncing. She looks down then up at me, “Typical..” she hops off pulling her dress back over her shoulders. I fix myself as my cheeks were steaming hot. “I-I’m sorry..I..” I don’t know what to say, but also don’t want to lead her to stay. “You know, next time you want to be flashy. Make sure your d**k doesn’t tap out after 10 minutes.” She slips her heels on. I get up handing her her purse which she snatches. She takes her phone calling a rideshare.

—

THE NEXT DAY.

CHER.

“So? Did they choose you?” My dad sits across from the table cart as we eat breakfast. I slowly bite into a piece of toast as I think if what to say. “He said that, uh, they’ll send a letter to the dancers they’ve chosen.” I don’t want to say I’m going, but also don’t want to flat out say I’m not. He doesn’t look disappointed, and just continues finishing his steak and eggs. “Well, I’m sure you we’re exceptional.” He takes my hand briefly. Carol then comes in with all of our suitcases on a cart, “The flight leaves in 2 hours. If we go now we can beat traffic.” She still instinctively took our plates to the hotel wetbar sink even though we had full-on room service.” I get up going into my bag. I see the contract sticking out then pull out my dancing straps. “Damnit. I have to return these. They belong to the studio.” I ball it in my hand making it appear as something different. “Is it that important?” My dad asks as he put a hat on. “Of course. You want me to make a lasting impression, right?” I try to look desperate. They both groan before finally agreeing.

While we drive back to the studio, I sneakily fill out the contract. I prop my bag in front of me signing my name on each dotted line carefully. “We’re here. Please be quick.” Carol parked with the engine still humming. I quickly get out running into the studio. Only people in here were janitors and strong hands to help take down the mirrors and bars. I walk back to Michèl’s office and slid the contract under the door. “Please don’t be a dumb decision.” I say to myself as I rush back to my dad and Carol.

~~~~~