My Resolution

Chapter 15

The next few weeks were split between classes, getting ready for prom, and pulling the orb out every night when I was lying in bed. Emma’s family left just days after they received their test results, she promised to keep me updated, but I knew she would be busy. Donovan and I completed our senior research papers and were putting the final touches on our articles for the biology papers. The end of the school year was drawing nearer, and the euphoria was palpable. Prom was tonight, Donovan’s birthday next weekend, graduation would be two weeks later, the senior trip was the following week everything was coming faster and faster. I had been in contact with the admissions office at KU and was planning to start classes in June instead of waiting until August. The alpha had already approved my request to leave early for classes. My plans were coming together better than I could have planned, but it was bittersweet.  

Standing in front of my full-length mirror, admiring my new dress. It was emerald-green, and I loved the tied spaghetti strap bodice that fell into a cowl neckline, complimenting my ample bosom, it hugged my waist loosening at the top of my hips when it flared into a full-length skirt that flowed softly into a sweeping train, my leg peeked out of the wrapped skirt with a slit that trailed all the way up to the top of my thigh. The soft curls tumbling around my face, marbled green and white nails and flawless makeup pulled it all together. I was both excited for the night before me and sad knowing that this would be my first, and last, date with someone I probably could have loved in another life. I blinked back a few tears that had formed, took a deep breath, and smiled, I wasn’t going to think about that tonight.  

Mrs. Boone, of course, had her camera hanging around her neck when I came down the stairs. She insisted on all sorts of poses and family shots, as well. I really didn’t mind though, knowing you’re loved is always a great feeling. The doorbell rang and Mr. Boone answered the door. Donovan walked in looking amazing in a tailormade tuxedo, complete with an emerald-green tie and vest.  

His eyes widened when he saw me, “you clean up, good,” he winked, offering me a small plastic corsage container. He opened it and pulled out a lace wrist corsage with two white tiger lilies with dark green foliage peeking around the flowers. He slid the corsage onto my wrist, and I smiled, “that’s funny. It’s beautiful, thank you.”   

“What's funny?” he asked, curiously.  

“This,” I said simply, as I picked up my own small plastic container. I opened it to reveal a boutonniere that matched my corsage perfectly and pinned it to his jacket.  

“I’m not surprised,” he shrugged, straightening the pin, “It’s your favorite flower.”  

Mrs. Boone was furiously snapping pictures while we exchanged our small tokens. She then posed us on the stairs, with the kids, with Mr. Boone, she had Angelina snap a few photos of her with us, as well. She wanted more pictures outside, so we made our way through the front door, I was shocked to see a white stretch limo sitting outside.  

“All this for just us?” I wondered out loud, “Fancy!”  

Mrs. Boone got all the pictures she wanted, even a few of the littler kids inside the limo, as well. Finally, we were able to climb through the gull-wing doors, into the interior that was backlit in pink and purple and drive away.  

Donovan had made dinner reservations at “Golden Chanterelle,” known for their exquisite dishes and romantic atmosphere. The experience was amazing. I had the best steak I had ever tasted, and we shared a miniature fruit tart with lemon curd on an almond crust, the top was decorated with thin slices of mango arranged to look like a bloomed flower.  

We talked and laughed throughout the meal. Donovan took my hands in his from across the table, holding them gently, tracing his thumb over the back of my hands. My skin reacted to every brush from his fingertips. He continued to caress my hands while we rode to the packhouse, prom was always hosted in the grand ballroom. Just before we exited the limo, he placed his hand under my chin, brushing my lips with his thumb, then gently kissed me.  

Before we could enter the ballroom, the Alpha and Luna caught us for pictures.   

“You didn’t think you would get out of this did you?” Donovan’s mom jested.  

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Donovan sighed, “I think I’ve already had more pictures taken tonight than I have in my entire life, so what’s a few more?”  

I laughed and shook my head and asked, “Where would you like us to stand?”  

The Luna directed us and posed us to her liking as she snapped pictures. When she finally decided that she had all the shots she wanted, Donovan and I entered the ballroom, my arm linked through his. The dark wood floor stretched the entire length of the two-s********m, massive arched windows stretched side by side from floor to ceiling around three of the walls, and an expansive balcony area wrapped the entire room. The ornate gold railing, which had been refinished a couple of years ago, sparkled in the soft light from the shining from the five crystal chandeliers lined down the center of the ceiling. The whole room was dimly lit by the chandeliers and sconces that lined the walls. The round tables, placed around the edges of the room had tall clear glass vases filled with white and pink roses and green hydrangeas, and white tea light candles were flickering around the base of each vase. The Luna always planned the decorations for prom, and in my opinion, she had outdone herself.  

We found our group of friends had claimed a few tables, so we joined them.   

“Holy s**t, mama! You are wearing that dress,” Mara catcalled as we approached.   

“Back at you, gorgeous,” I replied with a smile.  

The night was phenomenal. We laughed and dancing into the wee hours of the morning. Donovan and I held each other during almost every slow dance, having to remind ourselves a few times that our friends would get suspicious of us if we weren’t careful.   

The garden outside the ballroom was open for us to be able to walk around and get fresh air. Donovan and I wandered arm in arm through the winding paths, looking for a private spot, if only for a moment. We were able to share one deep kiss before we heard Tobi and Brady coming toward us.   

“I should have had my way with you in the limo when I still had the chance,” Donovan murmured with a chuckle in his voice. He stepped behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist so I could lean back into him. We were watching clouds gently roll past the full moon when they met us.  

“I’m sorry, but I’ll never understand how you two aren’t a couple,” Tobi said flatly. I turned to look at her standing off to my left.   

“That’s okay, Tobe,” I smiled, “we can’t all understand everything.”  

“I guess,” she chuckled, “what are you two doing out here?”  

“Just getting some fresh air, and watching the sky,” Donovan replied, flexing his arms more tightly around me, but so that they wouldn’t notice.   

We stood there together for a few more minutes before making our way back inside. Resolved to the fact that we wouldn’t get any more private moments.  

The after-prom party carried over right there at the packhouse. The rec room was opened for all students to play games, hang out, and spend the night. We had all brought along overnight bags with snuggly pajamas and other essentials. I finally fell asleep around four o’clock in the morning, efficiently exhausted from the eventful evening.   

I dreamed of the fae kingdom. I was walking along in the forest beyond the garden, following the same direction Donovan had led me the day he had shown me the waterfall. It was the dead of night, but as I approached the pool, I could see light sparkling from behind the waterfall. I carefully made my way across the stone, peeking behind the curtain. There was a door in the middle of the cave leading down a stone staircase. I slowly stepped toward the door when I heard voices.   

The tired worn, hoarse voice of a man was speaking, “Please, have mercy. I’ve begged before, and I am begging again. Please, have mercy.”  

I heard a sound like that of a cracking whip and a deep angry voice yell, “shut your mouth, nasty mutt,” the sound cracked once more. I flinched at the sound of the first man howling in pain.   

“Just kill me,” the man begged.  

“Now that would be stupid,” said the other voice wickedly, “I have all the power. Why would I give that up, just to be rid of you? No, you’ll be around for a long time.” The crack sounded once again, followed by a loud howl.   

The pain in his howl caused me to jerk awake. My eyes popped open, and I sat bolt upright. Donovan was sitting next to me, watching me intently.  

“Are you okay, Valley Girl?” he asked gently.  

As I found my bearings, I was able to steady my breathing, “Yeah, sorry. I must have had a nightmare, that’s all.”  

“Well, you were flailing in your sleep and whimpering. I’ve been trying to wake you up for, like, fifteen minutes.”  

“Wow, sorry about that,” I murmured, shaking my head gently and looking around the room, trying to get my bearings.   

“Are you good?”   

“Yeah, just a little shaken,” I replied, “I think I was just overtired. I’m going to go to the restroom.”  

When I got into the restroom, I leaned against the sink, staring into the mirror. I don’t usually read much into dreams, but that was so f*****g real. My mom would insist I share every detail, she believed that sinnaktuumaniq must be revealed for the sake of interpretation of omens and foretelling events. She had told me that in dreams we could communicate with other worlds and the spirits around us. She said, “everything has a spirit. Every creature, tree, rock, water, everything. Everything deserves communion and acknowledgment.” I haven’t narrated my dreams since before my mom was killed, honestly, this is the first time I have wanted to in years. Revealing sinnaktuuaminq was very specific to my mother’s culture, this world does not discuss dreams so openly or so seriously. I don’t put as much stock into dreams as my mom did but having her to talk to did make my nightmares much more tolerable as a child. It was times like this when I wished my anaanatsiaq were still alive, she would have done just the same as my mother, but she and my ataatsiaq both passed away a couple of years before my parents. I didn’t know anyone else from my mother’s pack, my mom had no ani or naja, it was just her and her parents. I had visited once as a small child, I was maybe four or five, but don’t remember much about the trip. “Tonight was my senior prom, I just really miss my mom,” I said to the mirror. I splashed some water on my face and finished up in the restroom. “It’s fine,” I said to my reflection, “It was just a dream.” I returned to the rec room, snuggled up against Donovan, and fell asleep. I didn’t have any more nightmares and woke up to a grand breakfast prepare for us all the next morning. 

As the next week passed, Donovan seemed to have finally calmed down about coming of age and all that entails for him. His mom was, of course, was in full-blown party planning mode; the only part of the party he seemed to be excited about was shifting for the first time. As future alpha, he was expected to shift on his eighteenth birthday before the entire pack, even though he wouldn’t be taking over for, at least, a few more years. With his wolf, would come the ability to mind link pack members, wolf pups could link their immediate families, but not the entire pack. I haven’t linked anyone since my parents died, it was unsettling when I felt those links break during the war, not realizing what it meant until hours later, but I had grown accustomed to it now. He and I would wait for Chinese and movies until the following night.  

Donovan was kept home from school the day of his birthday; he would be preparing for his first shift with the alpha and any attending elders. The first shift is usually painful, and it helps to have guidance. Since the entire pack would be attending, I went straight home after school to help get all the young pups ready for the party. Like my birthday, it was a formal affair, I wore the dress from my birthday party rather than buying yet another new dress.  

The ballroom was decorated beautifully in black with silver and hunter green, the whole room sang “Donovan”. Once everyone was seated, Donovan’s entrance was announced, he walked down the center of the room as the pack stood and applauded. When he took his place at the head table, he scanned the room, nodding toward various tables, his eyes stopped on me and I smiled, his brow furrowed for a moment before turning back to a smile and turning to another table. “Well, that was weird,” I thought, wondering if I had been seeing things. It happened so fast.  

Dinner was delicious herb-crusted chicken, rosemary potatoes, and grilled asparagus. The cake was served buffet-style afterward. Donovan had scoffed, “I’m going to be an adult, mom,” when she had told him she had found the perfect candles for his cake, but he blew them out with a smile tonight.  

The alpha announced it was time for everyone to transition to the garden for Donovan’s first shift. There was a full moon tonight, it was lighting the large platform erected, surrounded by chairs wooden folding chairs with an aisle running down one side. I took a seat in the third row right next to the aisle and waited, watching the platform where Alpha Fredrick’s and Elder’s Ashford and Johnson were standing.  

“I would like to, once again, thank each, and every, member of the Snow Moon pack for your attendance tonight. This marks my son, your future alpha’s, eighteenth birthday, and his first shift. Please, join me in welcoming Elder Ashford of the East Midwestern Region of North America and Elder Johnson of the North Midwest Region of North America to our celebration this evening. They have graciously joined us to help in our future alpha’s first shift, and in welcoming a new wolf to our pack.”  

The elders nodded at the applause.   

“Without further ado, please, stand and welcome future alpha of the Snow Moon pack, Donovan Fergus Clyde Fredrick.” Everyone broke out in loud applause and turned toward Donovan coming up the aisle. I clapped and tried not to laugh; Donovan couldn’t stand his full name. He was the name's sake for both of his grandfathers, which is, of course, and great honor, but that didn’t help him like the names.  

Donovan made eye contact with me, and again, for a small moment, I noticed his smile break once more before he beamed once more and passed me, joining his father and the elders on the platform. I tried to shake the thoughts from my mind but was struggling to concentrate on what was being said. He removed the black robe he had changed into, revealing he was wearing only a pair of shorts underneath. Shifting in clothes would destroy any clothing being worn, so he wouldn’t want to shift in the suit he had been wearing for dinner.  

“Relax and allow your wolf spirit to overtake you,” Elder Ashford was saying calmly.  

Donovan was standing in the middle of the platform with his eyes closed, he was breathing deeply, in the nose and out the mouth. His face grimaced but went flat once more, then another grimace. He didn’t shift, but his entire demeanor changed, that wasn’t Donovan.  

“I am Elder Ashford. May I ask your name?”  

The hard eyes bore into the elder, “Steele.” I didn’t even recognize the voice coming out of my best friend's mouth.  

“Are you ready to fully shift?” Elder Johnson asked.  

Steele nodded his head once, without comment. He closed his eyes and a moment later, Donovan grimaced once more. He doubled over then shot bolt upright, dark fur began to sprout from his body and claws from his hands and feet, his face elongated, and he grew exponentially. It only took a few minutes, but watching, it felt like more. Suddenly standing before us was the largest jet-black wolf I had ever seen, he had to stand at least a head higher than the alpha. The only distinguishing feature was that his back right paw was white, and his eyes were emerald.  

Steele threw his head back and howled at the full moon. 

The pack erupted in resounding acclamation. The alpha announced he would like to take a run with his son and invited all of-age pack members to join. I stayed with the pups while the Boone’s joined the other wolves. The forest was filled with the jubilant howls of wolves celebrating.  

The pups were excited to meet Steele. I hoped he would be as willing to humor the pups as Donovan. When the wolves returned, the pups were allowed to greet them. Steele, as hard an exterior as he had displayed during his first appearance, was apparently a big softy though because he laid on the ground and allowed all the pups to pet him and climb on his to their heart's content.   

I finally had the opportunity to introduce myself to Steele, after the pups had run off to meet other wolves and to play.  

“Hi, Steele, I’m Valerie,” I smiled.   

His emerald eyes bore into mine before he nudged me causing me to step back, released a loud puff of air, then he turned and walked away, leaving me alone.   

I didn’t see Donovan for the rest of the evening. When Mrs. Boone announced it was time for us to be heading home, I helped gather all the pups into the vans and left without saying goodbye. I would just talk to Donovan tomorrow; he has a lot going on tonight. 

I texted Donovan the next morning but didn’t receive a response. Finally, I called in the late afternoon, and he answered. 

“Val?” 

“Donovan, hey,” I said uncertainly. 

“Hey,” he said softly. 

“Is everything okay?” I asked hesitantly. 

“No, it’s not. Look, I don’t want to hang out tonight, okay.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure. It’s your birthday celebration, so it’s whatever you want,” I tried to sound neutral, but I was more worried now than before. 

“Look, Val, I just,” he paused, “I just don’t want to talk to you right now. Honestly, I’m pissed off at you, and I need some time. I’m sorry, okay.” 

I was speechless, so I just responded, “okay,” softly.  

“Bye, Val,” was all he said before hanging up. 

“Bye, Donovan,” I responded to my disconnected phone.