A Journey To Love

In life, you have to take the pace that love goes. You don’t force it. You just don’t force love, you don’t force falling in love, you don’t force being in love – you just become. I don’t know how to say that in English, but you just feel it." —Juan Pablo Galavis Is it weird for a boy to spend 4 years in college without having a girlfriend? Most of the people i call friends have found the love of their life several times, it almost like the phrase "I love you" means absolutely nothing to them. personally, I think the word "Love" is a very strong word, which makes me really careful with whom i use it on. Over the course of my study in school, i have had a good number of flings with some beautiful ladies, most people would refer to me as a fuckboy, but i know i am not, because i definitely don't lie to girls for s*x. My s****l relationships with girls is based on a mutual understanding and not lies. I believe you will get to understand what i mean eventually. Love should be able to mean more than just s*x and making out. It should be something that lasts for long time at least, not just two or three months. I think young people like myself are just hungry for s*x and they call it love. Since the very first day i stepped into college, i hoped i would be able to get myself a nice girlfriend with a banging body. High School didn't really favour me when it comes to girls because no girl wanted a boy with a pimpled face, so while others where enjoying the lips of their girlfriend i was dispassionately waiting for high school to be over. Coming into the university, my pimples where all gone, most of it at least. My mom had given me a nice product which made my colour more visible. "Finally i would find myself a girlfriend" i said to myself as i admired myself on a broken mirror after getting my admission letter. My brother was already in school. He was 300 level student of Geology. I stayed with him in a self contain apartment. He was a gospel singer, so bringing girls to house seemed impossible, i started thinking of other means to meet with my girls, even though i hadn't gotten one yet. While In secondary, i didn't really believe i was handsome although some persons had told me , i thought they were only trying to make me feel better for having humongous pimples on my face but when i got to the university i believed i was really handsome. I would get random compliments from girls and guys i didn’t even know, it was really amazing. The first affirmation i got was in my class group chat. Everyone was told to send their pictures, so i did. After i posted it, i got tones of compliments most especifically from the ladies, someone went as far as calling me "finest". I didn't know how to feel at that moment. I was confident i was going to get a girlfriend in the first semester of my schooling, life was beginning to make sense for me. ********** ***** I started engaging in several conversations with ladies in the group chat and the responses where more than i expected. Some went as far as sending me pictures of themselves, everything became so different from the life i knew in high school. You need to understand i was coming from a high school were the only girl that was crushing on me was the girl who had made out with 90% of the boys in the class and i always admire the best in the room. The girl i had a crush on was in love with another guy, and as stupid as i was, i allowed everyone to know i was crushing on her and i got premium laughter for it. But now i could now leave the past behind and focus on a new journey of finding love for the very first time. The first girl i got close to in my Uni was Jasmine. I and Jasmine would make calls for long hours, text for long but would act like strangers in class, i guess it was my fault though because i didn't really know how to talk to ladies face to face. I had told Jasmine i lived with my elder brother so she didn't bother about coming to my place instead she invited me to hers. At first i was hoping things would get serious between myself and Jasmine but when I started spending time with her i realized she was not the type of girl i wanted to date. The first time i went to Jasmine's house, she was putting on a shorts which brought out a beautiful shape. Truly i was aroused by it, i had never seen a lady with a lovely body so close. Silently, i hoped the man in between my legs doesn't misbehave before the action starts. "What should i get for you" Jasmine asked as she gazed at me with a smile. "Umm don't worry about it" I replied thinking to myself i was finally going to get my first kiss. "Jasmine i would see you later" Jasmine's roommate said as she left the room with a smile on her face. Jasmine and i were left alone in the room. We talked for up to one hour and i was still unable to make a move on her. In that moment i realized it's not really easy to kiss a girl for the first time, i was too afraid of how she would react! what she would say! several thoughts were running through my mind at the same time. I couldn't tell if she wanted it or not, at that moment i wish i could read minds but i guess thats what makes life interesting, not knowing the reaction of others to in respect to your actress After spending two hours alone together without being able to make a move, her roommate came knocking on the door. She changed her clothes and jumped on the bed, then i knew it was time for me to leave. Jasmine escorted me out of her house, i could tell that she wanted more than just friendship with me but she wasn't the type of girl i wanted as a girlfriend. We said our goodbyes and parted ways. ***** ***** ***** I told my friends about the experience i just had with Jasmine. They laughed at me for not making a move on her. "You would never know if she wants it or not if you don’t make a move on her"- James said condfidently. "Yea bro! just tell her you are in love with and it's done"- Michael added. "But i don't love her, why would i lie"- I replied immediately. Michael and James looked at each other as they guffawed. "Bro!! if you want to find yourself a girl in this school, you need to tell them what they need to hear, thats the only way."- Michael said, holding on to my shoulders. In that moment i knew it was going to be more difficult than I thought it would be. Getting a girlfriend was important to me but i wanted it to be someone I love and at the same time i was interested in having s****l relationships with girls without commitment.