She's Out of My League

2- "The one I love or the one who loves me."

“SIR, since you mentioned that aside from Testosterone is most often associated with s*x drive and plays a vital role in sp*rm production, you also said earlier that depending on the Testosterone level each person has in his body may affect his mood. Now, I want to know if do most or some of s*x offenders tend to have higher Testosterone level as they think and their bodies feel the need to release the heat and do the int*rcourse in any possible way they can? Are hormones the ones to blame for a person’s uncontrollable desire for s*x?”

“Of course not!” Si Vien ang tahasang sumagot sa katanungan ng kaklaseng si Tristann sa isa sa mga minor subjects nila, ang Biological Science. Napatayo pa talaga siya for her aggressive and sudden reaction sa naging laman ng katanungan ng lalaki.

Everybody looked at her including Tristann himself as he touched the frame of his eyeglasses…

She continued, “It’s not only the hormones alone that are always responsible for one’s actions! Our minds and the way people think are also in-charge of how people act and what they wanna do to their bodies!”

Amused, Tristann’s lips widened while never breaking eyes with her. “But isn’t it our hormones who are sending signals to our brains of what they want and what they desire to get? Sumusunod lamang ang ating mga isipan sa sinasabi ng ating mga katawan at laman!”

“No! You’re wrong! I am opposed to what you’re saying! Makokontrol naman ng tao ang kanyang katawan at ang kanyang mga pangangailangang pisikal kung unang-una sa lahat, tuturuan niya ang kanyang sariling utak at pag-iisip na maging matino at limitahan ang sarili sa mga dapat at sa mga hindi dapat gawin*”

“But we’re talking about biological phenomena and s*xual needs here! Something that is natural for human bodies. And sometimes, this is something that some people find it hard to control,” patuloy din ni Tristann na bagama’y nakikipagdebate na’y relaxed na relaxed at nakangiti pa rin.

Ganito naman lagi ang scenario sa klase. Mag-aaway at magbabangayan silang dalawa dahil pareho namang may mga punto at malalaman talaga ang bawat sinasabi.

Kung si Tristann ay relaxed lang, inis at halos manggalaiti naman si Vien maipaglaban lang ang pananaw. “Hard to control but you can still control! Simple! Nasa sa ‘yo naman ‘yon, eh! Kung bastos ka talagang mag-isip, edi bastos ka! Then the actions will follow! But don’t always blame it on Biology! Blame it on your kind of Psychology!”

Hindi na sumagot pa ang binata bagkus ay tila naaaliw na nakangising patuloy na lamang itong naglaban ng pakikipagtitigan sa kanya.

Pumagitna na sa wakas ang nakangiti rin na Science Teacher nila. “Huwag na nga kayong mag-away. There is no need for a debate. Actually, Mr. Lee and Miss Imperial, parehas naman kayong tama at may mga punto sa sinasabi ninyo, kaya nga parehong branches ng Science ang Biology at Psychology, ‘di ba? Dahil interrelated naman talaga sila sa at pareho silang may major roles sa ating mga katawan.”

Nuon kumalma na si Vien at naupo nang muli sa kanyang upuan. Si Tristann nama’y naupo na rin sa seat nito. Ang mga kaklase nila’y tulad ng lagi ay naaaliw na lang sa kanilang mga bangayan. Ano pa nga bang bago? Ganito naman lagi, eh, at sanay na ang lahat!

“So, to answer your question, Mr. Lee, based on research, higher Testosterone level is one of the many factors why s*x offenders tend to do such actions. At tama din naman si Miss Imperial, kung makokontrol naman ng tao ang kanyang pag-iisip sa mga gagawin ng kanyang katawan, bakit hindi, ‘di ba? Parehas kayong may mga punto talaga.”

Isa lamang iyon sa mga classroom scenario na animo’y aso’t-pusa kung magbangayan ang dalawa. Minsan ay sa campus stage pa kapag may special events sa school tulad na lang ng College Days at nagkataong napunta ang dalawa sa magkalabang teams to be representatives for indoor activity sa debate.

“This house will always choose the one that we love because that means unconditional love without even asking for anything in return!”

“But choosing the one who loves you also means unconditional love because even if he did not ask for it, you chose to give that person a chance in your heart.” Katulad ng lagi ay relaxed at hindi ganoong kaseryoso si Tristann.

The proposition for the debate was; 'Who am I going to choose? The one I love or the one who loves me?' A very timely and relatable topic especially these days for their ages. And it happened that Vien belonged to the affirmation team; The one I love versus Tristann’s opposition team; The one who loves me.

“Don’t you think it’s unfair? That you know deep within you that you don’t love the person but you’re going to choose him over the one that you truly love? Why? For what? For the benefit of being loved? For the attention and care that you will get because the person loves you? How about for his part? While getting whatever you can take from the person who is most willing to give almost everything to you, will you not be guilty of taking and benefiting when you know you can’t even reciprocate the love a hundred percent?!” si Vien ulit.

“But this house strongly believes that love can be learned, my dear opponent. If you don’t love the person right now but give him a chance, who knows tomorrow or the next few days you’ll gradually be falling in love with that person who loves you with all his heart, right? Lucille Ball even once quoted, ‘Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.’ And we believe that one of the steps for self-love is being healthy emotionally, and accepting the person who loves you will always give you an at ease feeling that you are always loved, cared for, and treasured. While choosing the one you love? It will only stress you out because at the end of the day, no matter how much effort you try to put in, you will always find yourself drawn in the ocean of sadness for an unreciprocated love.”

“According to Robert Heinlein, ‘Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.’ You don’t actually need to be happy because seeing the person that you love being genuinely happy is already a happiness for you, too. If they won't reciprocate no matter how deep we give our love to them, it’s okay. What matters most is being true to ourselves that we choose the one we love more than our own happiness of getting loved back. This is true love, not asking for a favour to be returned...”

And the debate went on and on. The other members of each group presented their point of views and speeches, too.

Isa pa sa bangayan nina Vien at Tristann ay noong nasa library sila at gumagawa sila ng assignment for Statistics kasama ng iba pang mga kaklase nila.

“Tama naman, ah! The sum of the products divided by the total number of values will be the value of the mean. I added all the raw scores given in the data and then I divided them to the total number of the scores presented,” marahang ani Vien sa binata nang sumilip ito sa kanyang solving at may nakita itong parang mali o kakaiba sa sagot niya.

“Pero may nakaligtaan o may na-mislook ka yata sa solving mo, Vien?” confident at sigurado pa ring patuloy nito.

Na-conscious tuloy siya kaya pilit niyang hinanap ang sinasabi nitong nakaligtaan niya. Wala talaga siyang mahanap, eh!

“Parang wala naman, ah! Baka ikaw ang may mali sa solution mo at iba ‘yang answer mo! Patingin nga ako!” inagaw at sinilip nga niya ang papel nito.

“88, 92, 85, 86…”

“Nagtabi at mukhang magtatalo na naman ang mga aso’t-pusa nito!” mayamaya ay natatawang pahaging ni Sheryll sa tabi ni Vien.

“Halika na, be! Batsi na muna tayo! Huwag tayong makisali diyan. Usapan ng magagaling ‘yan, eh! ‘Di tayo makaka-relate!” loka namang biro ni Joyce kay Sheryll sabay hinila na ang kaibigan palabas ng library.

Sa huli ay natanto nga ni Vien na may isang raw score siyang hindi naisama sa kanyang record at solving kung kaya’t mali ang nakuha niyang mean. Inayos naman kaagad niya ‘yon. Siyempre, kahit isang mali lang sa solution, maaring maapektuhan ang buong resulta at baka bababa pa ang score niya sa checking. Ayaw naman niyang mangyari ‘yon.