Loving the Obsession

17

I woke up in a room. Again. What happened yesterday? I know for sure that I'm drunk yesterday. No scratch that. I'm wasted yesterday. So fvcking wasted.

But I'm in a familiar room though.

I'm in my room. How did I get home? Did I drive without my senses in me? Or someone pick me up? Who?

"Fvck! My head hurts." I hissed and at the same time, the door opened. Revealing Aphrodite in a casual clothes. And when I say casual, as in casually sexy.

This woman is a true definition of a no-clothing clothing of fashion. Kulang na lang mag hubad eh. Buti nga nag damit pa siya kahit papano.

"Hey..." she said with a warm smile on her face.

Tumango lang ako sa kaniya at umupo ng maayos sa kama. Umupo din naman siya sa paanan ko.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I'm still me." sarcasm is like a venom in my voice.

Bumuntong hininga siya dahil sa sagot ko. As always. She's the good child in this family. Second to Artemis.

"I know what Alectrona said is harsh but what she said is true, Athena." here they goes again. Hindi na lang ako sumagot.

“I get it that you have feelings and feelings I mean love for that man, but Athena, what you feel is no longer healthy. That's not how love works. "

I scoffed." Not healthy? Why, do you know anything about healthy and unhealthy love? " I sarcastically asked. She doesn't even have a boyfriend. “Kung makapag sabi kayo parang ako lang nagmamahal dito ah. As if."

“We do, excluding Alectrona because what she only feel is madness not love. She want revenge. ” she continued.

"Yeah, revenge." I said again.

“Athena, what she's trying to say is assess yourself for the love that you have for that man. "

"Assess? "

“Yes. Because you claimed that you love him but your actions speak something else. That's not love, Athena. "

My eyes sharpened." Then what do you think this is? "

"Can't you get it? You're obsessed, Athena! " she half shouted." The moment you knew the people in the organization and stalk them, you got to catched feelings for him. I understand it at first because sure he's handsome as hell. But you didn't even set a boundaries for your feelings towards that man when you know that he has a girlfriend and a fiance . Moreso when you receive the news that she's carrying his heir. Athena, do you even now realize your actions? " she ask me firmly.

Do I? “Yes.”

“Really? Then, why can't you understand that he can't love you back?!"

“He can't? It's because he's still moving on. When he's already moved on he'll see me and will love me back. Why can't you wait?!"

“Move on, Athena? For fvck sake, she's already dead. For five years. And you said he's still moving on? Why? Can't he moved in a span of that years? That only means even if he grows old, she'll always be the woman he will want and love. Why can't you understand that?! "

"No! You guys can't understand me! "

“Athena, you're fvcking obsessed. You don't love him, you want to fvcking make him one of your property that you possessed. Everything you did bad, haven't even crossed your mind that maybe he didn't know that you exist? That you love him more than anything? You play a fvcking game with a two steps forward. That's not fair! It's okay if you play a game of power but you play a game of feelings. You make sure that he can't make a step by taking away his fiance and their heir. Athena, you knew the feeling of losing someone you loved dearly, but why are you doing this to him? "

" Because he only belongs to me. I should be the one carrying his child and no one else.! "

"See?! You're fvcking obsessed. You're a doctor but you can't fvcking make an assessment for your mental health?! ATHENA! WAKE UP TO THE TRUTH THAT HE CAN'T FVCKING LOVE YOU THE SAME WAY YOU DO! " she shouted that i thought everyone hears. I remember my room is soundproof.

"Remember everything you did, do you think he'll love you if he will know everything? Huh, Athena?" She asked me again.

I looked at her, dead in the eye. "He won't know if everyone will keep quiet." I said.

"There's no secret that can be hidden forever, remember that." the last thing she said before she storm out of my room.

Wow. That hurts.

I can't fvcking bring myself to tell him everything from the very beginning.

Kahit na anong paninira ang gawin ko, mahal niya padin. Tanggap nga niyang buntis ito kahit sa pagka-aakala niya ay anak ng ibang lalaki iyon.

That's how much he loved her. And it hurts so much.

Maybe what she said is true. But I can't give up now. Not that everything is going according to my plan. A little more push, and he'll be mine.

Masasayang ang effort ko kung ititigil ko na ito. Hindi na pwede. And I cant bear to lose him, forever. I can't.

It's better if I'm the one who'll be gone than him. I live like dead but breathing if that happens.

Maybe, I'll just push him a little bit to make him fall for me? She's dead for five years now and he bedded women to have pleasure in her absence. Maybe through that, he'll see me? I can take him to high heavens more than anyone else.

Fvck! I think I'm going crazy. I'm ready to give everything my all just for him to love me.

I'm going to stoop that low just for him to notice me.

Kahit anong ikina ganda ko, hindi niya padin ako makita kita. Kahit anong papansin ko, hindi niya padin ako mapapansin. Kahit anong effort gawin ko kulang pa din,hindi niya padin ako maramdaman. Kahit anong sigaw ng nararamdaman ko sa kaniya hindi pa rin maririnig.

Dahil iisang pangalan lang naririnig, nakikita, nararamdaman, at sinisigaw niya.

At iyon ay walang iba, kundi ang best friend ko.

Melhanie Sison.