Lines Undrawn

I loved surprises. I loved giving them, too. It was why I’d decided to buy one of the most expensive bottles of French wine whose name I couldn’t be bothered to pronounce. (I’d made sure it was indeed French, though.) Here I was at the front door to my beach house that evening in early June, giddy smile and all. My first year of college had been done last month, and I’d waited a few extra weeks to return home. If I could only look in the mirror right now and smile even more so, a smile that always worked for David Dudley because he knew how much he meant to me. He knew just how important he was in my life in a way I’d never been able to confess to him. Why not show some frequent gratitude in return? A strong part of me had wanted to take care of him after I’d grown fond of him, and over time, I’d developed feelings for him that failed to weaken. David was a trucker who was pushing forty. He’d been good friends with Mom, and she’d trusted him enough to have him move in with us three years ago during hard times with alcohol. He’d suddenly looked like an emotionally fragile puppy on the inside. Sixteen-year-old me had wanted to help him in some way to prevent him from leaving the picture completely, since the move wasn’t meant to be permanent. So, as a start, I’d fixed his trailer-trash appearance and transformed him into a total tall-dark-and-handsome type with style. Then, I’d taught him whatever Spanish I’d learned from Mom as a possible business skill. It was the only way Mom had been able to rent out the guest room to him as a more long-term solution once she’d seen how much we’d bonded. As long as he paid her every month, she was fine with it. I opened the door as quietly as I could and closed it, my mood back up. David didn’t know when exactly I’d be home for the summer, so my surprise was perfect. I stared at the bottle and bit my lip at the memory of how much I’d spent. Oh, well. It was totally worth it. He needed to drink only to celebrate, not to cope with life, and he’d been great with alcohol now. I crept toward the stairs and sneaked up with a grin forming on my face. This bottle wasn’t going anywhere out of sight as the perfect way to cheer up David. He lit up my world in a way I wished I could explain to the real world but never could. After my biological dad had shown his true colors in all the dark and terrorizing shades before leaving us (the best thing besides death that could’ve ever happened), David had been the best potential replacement, even if only temporarily. But he was also a better man than any guy at school, hence my refusal to look at him as an actual dad. I’d liked older men for a while now, but I’d never been with one before. How I longed to find someone like David— Gentle moans and the slightest squeak from the bed filled my ears the closer I skulked toward his room door, but the female moan was a bit louder. What was going on, and who was that with him in his room? This wasn’t normal at all, since I’d never known him to have someone over for this purpose. Honestly, I didn’t feel right about this. Like, at all. “Oh, David…feels so good…fuck me…” Wait, what? Was that…Brit Baker? My best friend?! How dare she after having only joked about hooking up with him! The nerve! Kissing sounds were next. My eyes bulged. Oh. My. God. She had been serious all along, and it caused me to freeze with a tightening stomach, my grip loosening until the wine bottle slipped onto the carpeted floor in a loud thump. David and Brit stopped and made scrambling noises, probably rushing to get dressed. I couldn’t make out what they whispered. I breathed a bit more heavily than normal. Whatever sadness came rushing into my thoughts, for whatever reason, morphed into irrational anger. I lost all the care in the world for however long it lasted, and I grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open in my grandest of entrances. David and Brit stood near each other half-dressed, their shirts still on the floor and their shorts barely back on. The color from their faces drained as if I were the ghost they’d just seen. If that wasn’t obvious enough, the condom wrapper on the floor beside the bed gave it all away. Why did I have a feeling that this wasn’t even the first time it had happened? My lips quivered, and I sensed the corners of my mouth wilting. Why, David? Why, Brit? Why? David swallowed, his eyes barely on me while looking away every few seconds. A redder-faced Brit simply hid behind him. I, on the other hand, stood within a distance, my brain trying to process everything. After suddenly focusing on David’s muscled torso of smooth pecs and a flat belly, I found myself gently biting my lower lip. My c**k formed the kind of semi-hardness I hadn’t felt since my last hookup at some mediocre frat party months ago. It couldn’t have twitched at a more inappropriate time. But this was different. It was David. Now, I saw him in a whole new way that my curious mind had wanted to. He sighed. “Are you…gonna tell your mom?” The shame in his deep voice even showed in his face. He knew he wasn’t supposed to bring any hookups into our home because my religious mother forbade it. Brit remained behind him like the coward she was. She sure had had no problem joking about banging him as if having tested my reaction. Then again, how was she supposed to react? I’d never shown any disgust but had told her it would never happen. Little had I known how wrong I’d been. I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I’m angry. And I don’t know why.” David gave me a gentle nod. “I understand. I guess things may have gotten a bit…out of hand?” I rolled my eyes. “Clearly.” I had never wanted to see David with anyone else. I’d grown so close to him through my bonding with him that I’d gotten used to him not dating anyone. Maybe I was being irrational, but I didn’t like this one bit. “Please don’t be mad, Benny.” Brit’s tone was cracked and weak, a bit whimpery. David tried to inch closer but managed only a hesitant step. “Look, Brit was just helping me out, okay?” I narrowed my eyes and couldn’t control my emotions. “Helping you out? By letting you f**k her?” “He wants you, too,” she said. Wait, what? “He’s wanted you for a while, actually.” My eyebrows flew up. Was this true? But…how? I didn’t even know what to think about that. David gave her a look. “I trusted you with that,” he muttered through gritted teeth as if I couldn’t hear a word. I became slightly harder but not fully erect. I tried to hide it by thinking other thoughts, but it was too late. The bulge in my shorts couldn’t be any more obvious at this point. “Is that…true?” David sighed and paused for a moment with what was probably a humiliated face. “Yeah.” My jaw almost dropped. I couldn’t tell whether my shock was relief or not, but my hard c**k definitely couldn’t lie to them. “Oh.” So, David was bisexual? Pansexual? He clearly wasn’t straight if he wanted me. “Look…I get this is probably uncomfortable for you.” David’s eyes lowered to my bulge. “Or…not?” Caught, at last. My face was probably redder than his from the warmth of my cheeks, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to hide my emotions after they were too difficult not to express. I stormed out, rushed into my room next door, and shut the door harder than I’d intended. I collapsed onto my bed and hugged my pillow, bursting into sobs. Why was I even crying like a pathetic fool when I wasn’t normally a crybaby? I was the most open-minded person I knew, so why would this bother me?