Her Very Own Flame

Imagine a beautiful sunny day filled with warmth. Favorite music that has good vibes blasting throughout the bedroom. All while getting around for the first day of the next college semester. Everything is going perfectly without a problem in sight. It sounds wonderful, right? Well, unfortunately, that’s not how mine began. As I rushed around my room, trying my best to gather my things. I wanted nothing more than to have that imagined scene be my reality. Yet, I stupidly did an all-nighter with my sister. Why I let her talk me into it, I don’t know. But scolding is for later. I hurriedly put my frizzy faded black curls into a scrunchie. Then I threw my things into the worn-down gray leather satchel. Suddenly, I hear Christian call for me from downstairs. Grumbling, I mumbled to myself, “How is it she’s able to wake up on time like it’s nothing. And I’m here feeling like I’m holding on to dear life”. Sighing, I ran out of my room just as I heard Christian shout, “Alexa! Come on or we’re going to be late”! “I’m here! Good grief”! I replied, exasperated while hauling my ass down the stairs. She narrows her hazel eyes at me before turning away. Walking out the door, leaving me hurrying after her. The fall air thankfully wasn’t too chilly as I got inside her purple suv. Despite the sunshine making the varied amber colors of the leaves look beautiful. I felt anything but that. While my sister pulled out of the driveway, I tugged down the sunvisor. Opening the mirror to see my hair in disarray, I groaned. Taking the hair tie out and putting my curls in a comfortable bun. Then gently pulling little pieces of my hair out in certain spots. This way, it looked more put together and my face was framed by it. The only thing I couldn’t do anything about were the faint purple colored bags under my eyes. Sleep deprivation. What a wonderful thing. I remarked in my head sarcastically. “Quit fussing, Alexa. It’s not like anyone will care what you look like”, she said mockingly. Narrowing my eyes at her out of annoyance. I replied, “Not all of us are blessed with perfect looks like you, Christian. So, shut it”. She chuckles before reaching out to blast the radio. God, I hated that with a passion. While covering one of my ears, I pushed the sun visor out of the way. Glancing out through the window as we passed by the small downtown area. I reminded myself that I had only a few more minutes left with her. I could survive that. Though loud music wasn’t enough to deal with. She felt obligated to start singing at the top of her lungs. “That’s it”! I yell. Instantly, I turned the radio off. Causing her to scream, “What the hell, Alexa”!? “You don’t need to blast the radio that loud for one. Secondly, you definitely shouldn’t be singing”, I replied, annoyed. She grimaced before turning the radio back on. Though this time she at least lowered the volume. The only thing that didn’t change was her terrible singing along to the radio. I didn’t need this rendition of Dierks Bentley, “What was I thinkin”. Grumbling, I try my best to focus on everything else. Thankfully, we crossed over the train tracks and made a left. A moment later, she came to a stop in the gravel parking lot of our small college. Not wasting another minute, I jumped out. Breathing out a sigh of relief at my new-found freedom away from her. As I walked, the gravel crunched and moved beneath my feet. The whole area was mostly gravel and grass, since the town never got around to paving it. Then again, it was a small town, so funds could only be allocated to important things. Tightening the grip on the strap of my satchel. I looked at the different buildings that were placed in spots replicating a compass. Of course, the courtyard would be the center of it. We didn’t have landscaping here to help break up the open space. So, everything blurred together. While thinking about this, I realized how much of a country vibe this whole place had. If a college could be country themed, it certainly would look like this. For fucksake, all the classrooms were in morton buildings, I thought to myself. My gaze had now moved towards the history and art building. Glancing down at my watch, I realized I should get moving. Only ten minutes before class started, I groaned. Quickening my pace, I glance around and see other students hurrying to their own courses. Naturally, not paying attention to what’s in front of me. I end up running into someone. Grunting from the impact, I rub my forehead where it took the brunt of the hit. Sighing, I refocus. When seeing who it was, my anxiety skyrocketed. Nerves and butterflies erupt within me as I stare into Nikolai’s navy blue eyes. Grinning, he brushes his ash-toned blonde hair from his face. Then he says teasingly, “I see you’re still clueless as ever, Alexa”. My brows furrow and I become slightly annoyed. Though I decided not to reply and tried to step around him. Of course, I should’ve known he wouldn’t let me go. As he closed the small space, I gasped when his arms wrapped loosely around my waist. My heart rate spiked further from this. While gazing into those beautiful eyes of his, I murmured nervously, “Nikolai”. The corner of his lips tugged up towards the right. Making me notice their vibrant magenta color that I hadn’t seen all summer. Get a hold of yourself, Alexa, Jesus, I yell at myself internally. Blinking, I placed my hand against his chest and pushed, trying to gain any distance I could. Sighing when my attempt turned out unsuccessful. I glanced away from him. “Alexa, why are you always trying to get away from me”? He teasingly questioned. Groaning, I looked back at him for a moment. “You know the answer to that or did you become dense over the summer, Nik”? A low growl escaped from him, causing me to become startled. Quickly, I shoved against him again. This time he let me go, only for my footing to be lost against the loose gravel. Panic consumed me as I began to fall backwards. As quickly as it happened, he put an end to it when catching my hand. Swiftly pulling me upright and close to him. I try to steady my breathing. Unfortunately, that in itself ended up as a struggle since it caused me to breathe in his familiar timberwood scent. I’ve loved that cologne since the first time I smelled it years ago. I know…it’s creepy when I say it that way. But it’s true, sighing from the thought. I hadn’t noticed his hand moving in time. When it made contact, instantly I held my breath. As he twirled one of my curls, his lips formed a gentle smile. “No, I haven’t become dense”, he quietly said. His gaze still fixated on that small piece of my hair between his fingertips. Swallowing, uncertain about what to do, I meekly gripped his wrist. Pulling his hand away from me, I said, “Then you know that you can’t keep doing things like this, Nik. We’re not together”. Suddenly, his gaze met mine. I knew right then. I shouldn’t have said that. Another growl escaped those mesmerizing full lips before he placed his hand against the back of my neck. Bringing our faces inches within each other, I try my best to steady my heart rate. It beat out of control at the close proximity of our lips. Lost in this thought, I hadn’t noticed his other hand reaching around. With one gentle tug, my curls fell, landing against the middle of my back. Instinctively, I gripped the green flannel he had on. Then glancing into his navy blue eyes, I anxiously waited to see his next move. When he tightly gripped some of the curls, tugging in a backwards motion. My head tilted just enough where he teasingly brushed his lips against mine. Instantly, my body betrayed me as a small moan escaped my lips. Pridefully grinning, he let go and took a small step back. “Don’t you ever say you’re not mine, Alexa”. Grimacing, I shook my head while letting out a huff of air. Annoyed, I retort, “I don’t belong to anyone, Nikolai. Plus”, I pause while placing my hands on my hips, “We’ve never officially been together. Not once have we ever labeled this thing between us”. His lips form a scowl, then closing the distance once more, he grabs my waist. “I labeled this the moment I staked my claim on you three years ago”. His tone was laced with demand and intensity when he spoke. Swallowing, I knew I should probably stop while I’m ahead. However, I never shied away from digging a deep hole. So, pushing against him and not gaining a lot of space. I decided to reply, “See, that’s the thing…I never agreed to any of this. It’s always been you declaring that, Nik”. Silence fell between us. Glancing at my watch, I realized I was late. Groaning, I pushed away from him once more. As I began to walk away, I’m taken by surprise. Suddenly, I’m being spun around. In the next moment, I felt his lips meet mine. Those soft, familiar lips meld against my own. Causing me out of instinct to grip his shoulders tightly. Bringing him closer to me as we deepen the kiss. I could get lost in this type of moment. But I knew I needed to go. Pulling away slightly, I took a few quick breaths. “I need to go”. I barely got those words out. Meeting his gaze, I noticed that familiar expression. The one he’d always give when he proved a point. Narrowing my eyes, I shoved him while saying, “This means nothing, Nikolai”. He chuckles, “Of course it does, babe”. Grumbling, I decide to just turn and walk away. It would be pointless to try and argue with him. “Don’t worry babe, Professor Clark won’t give you any issues”. I scoffed and looked over my shoulder. “How would you know Nikolai? Not all of us have the privilege of our family owning the majority of the town”. Stopping mid-walk now, I turned towards him. My annoyance had started to rise more. “Unfortunately I don’t have that, which means I’m not immune to the consequences that result from my actions such as being late”! Honestly, I didn’t originally intend to shout that last part. However, I’m upset at this point. He is always living in his own world. Not thinking that his actions may cause someone else to get in trouble. Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair. Remembering now that he still had my scrunchie on top of everything else. I practically could feel the tears coming to the surface. “Babe”, he calmly started, before pausing to walk over towards me. I look away even as he pulls me into his arms. “You’re my girlfriend for starters. When has there ever been a professor, or anyone for that matter, who has ever threatened you with anything? Hmm”? His voice was soothing while he gently ran his fingers through my hair. Letting out a somber breath, I quietly replied, “Not many…but despite that you’ve claimed I’m your girlfriend. I will always prefer to be treated as equally and fairly as the others are, Nik”. This caused his body to tense for a moment. Though he sighs before I notice him pull my hair up and place it back into the scrunchie. Then softly, his hands rubbed up along my back. “I know, babe. But you have to quit fighting me about this. You belong with me. No one else”. Shaking my head, I stayed quiet. More pressing matters were going on in my head at the moment. I debated for a minute whether I still wanted to attend my philosophy course. The scene of walking in and being scolded played out in my mind. God, why did I have to run into Nikolai on my first day? I wouldn’t even be in this position if it weren’t for him. Groaning internally, I knew in the end I’d be mean to myself later on today, if I went home instead. Before I could decide my next move, he offered, “Here, let me walk you to your class, Alexa”. I knew refusing would only waste more time. So I nodded, then allowed him to take my hand in his. Walking alongside him, I peered up for a brief moment. Not seeing him all summer had made certain details about him become somewhat fuzzy. Noticing his rounded jaw and clear complexion made me envious at times. Mine was riddled with scattered freckles and occasional acne. Sighing from the thought, I refocused on the ground. It’s better that I do because I could go on about all my flaws. Being in this town, it reminded me of them daily. Especially when everyone in this place seemed to appear physically perfect. Every now and then, as I thought. I’d glance at the doors we passed till we came to a stop. Peaking through the small glass window on the door, I see the professor talking. Seriously, he's doing a presentation on day one. Great, I think to myself. Why couldn’t he be simple and easy going like the others? “Do you want me to interrupt first”? Nikolai asks. Shaking my head, I force myself to take a deep breath and let it out. I got this. At least I hope. Glancing at him, I answered, “No it’s okay. I can do this”. He gazes at me skeptically, but nods. I pushed the door open and started to step inside. Silence fell and I could sense the awkwardness radiating off me. As my eyes meet Professor Clark’s, he frowns. “Already late on the first day of class, Miss”, he pauses towards the end. Swallowing, my anxiety is high at this point. Eventually, I found my voice, “My apologies sir, it won’t happen again”. It almost seemed like that frown deepened on his face. Glancing back at the other students, he says, “Class, take a five-minute break”. Great, this is what I wanted to avoid. While I prepared myself, I suddenly heard his voice, “Mr. Clark, it’s my fault. I’m the reason Alexa ended up running late”. At that point, I just wanted to die. Maybe I could make it out of this embarrassing experience without crying too. Though I doubt it at the rate things were going. Professor Clark paused and straightened his posture. “Oh, why didn’t you say that from the start, Alexa”? I knew this was his attempt at trying to shift the blame to me. Nobody in this town wanted to be on Nikolai’s bad side, let alone his family’s. “Hmm…didn’t appear that she had the chance from what I saw”, his voice tense as he spoke. Soon I noticed the other students watching this conversation. They could never mind their own business. I grumbled, annoyed in my head. Turning towards him now, after seeing the audience, we gathered. “Nik, please”, I quietly pleaded to him. He looked at me and for a moment I thought my words would go unheard. It wouldn’t be the first time in situations similar to this. Though taking a deep breath and relaxing, he nods. “Alright, babe. I’ll see you later this afternoon then”. I only nodded and, of course, he couldn’t help himself. Closing the space between us, he softly kisses my cheek, causing the class to awe in admiration. Then he turned to leave. I chose not to wait for Professor Clark to recommend I take a seat. As I swiftly walked up the stairs, I found a spot in the back row. Relieved I wouldn’t need to be in the midst of the class. Thankfully, after a few minutes, everything returned to normal. Allowing me to fade into the background. While the lecture continued, I tried my best to focus on taking notes. Naturally, my mind drifted to many different things. A lot of them were about what I planned to do about Nikolai. I really needed to find a way to avoid him. It will be necessary for me to have a peaceful start to my first semester as a sophomore. The man only made my life complicated when involved. Sighing, I leaned back against the hard plastic seat. Brainstorming different ways to avoid him. Maybe I should turn on the recorder on my laptop. This way I can replay Professor Clark’s talking points. The last thing I wanted was to fail this course. I would be in so much trouble with my parents. Groaning internally, I started the program before hitting play. Only two hours and thirty minutes to go, I thought to myself.