Beneath the mistletoe

Emily Gray had always been 'that' girl, the girl with a light in her eyes that seemed to belong to another world, the girl who's always kind to everyone . She had a way of making everything feel softer, sweeter, more beautiful, like the world was one of her canvases, waiting to be filled with color. Everyone who knew her described her as the type of person who could make you believe in dreams again. Julian Styles was her first love, the kind of love that makes you feel invincible, untouchable, and utterly blind. He was a very attractive man and he had a way with words he'd make you believe anything. He was the type that can make belittling sound like words of concern and criticism like words of care. Emily’s family could see right through him, they noticed how small he made her feel. They tried to warn her, time and time again, but she would dismiss them with the naivety of someone too young to recognize the devil disguised as an angel. Even her twin brother, Xander, who knew her better than anyone, begged her to reconsider. “You don’t see what we see, he is toxic and manipulative” he told her. But she refused to hear it. To her she was living the dream with her prince charming. To Emily, Julian was everything. He was older, successful, and sophisticated in a way that made her feel both enchanted and small. When she was still sketching her dreams in notebooks during her junior year of high school, he was already graduating college, stepping into the polished world of marketing with a confidence that took her breath away. It didn’t matter that he dismissed her art as a “cute hobby” or that he rolled his eyes whenever she spoke about her passion. It didn’t matter that he didn’t share her dreams. She was convinced love would be enough. He had her wrapped around his finger. They married the summer after she graduated high school. Her friends and family weren’t invited. Julian said they didn’t approve of him, so they didn’t deserve a seat at the table and that they would only bring bad luck in their new beginning. At the time, she didn’t question it. She didn’t question much when it came to him because she loved him so deeply that she mistook his control for care. For a while, she was happy ...or she told herself she was. Julian made good money, and their home was beautiful. He told her she didn’t need to work, that she should focus on making their house a home, on being a good wife. At first, it felt like a dream, but as the months turned into years, the walls of that beautiful home began to feel more like a cage. Her paints and brushes, once her sanctuary, were pushed into a corner of the closet. Whenever she brought up the idea of pursuing her art, Julian would laugh it off. “You’re not a kid anymore, Emily leave the coloring to children. It’s time to grow up.” Slowly, she stopped bringing it up. Slowly, she started to believe him. She thought if he didn't like it no one else would, so why continue. The first time he hit her, it was like stepping into a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from. She had been setting the table for dinner, humming softly to herself, when her hand slipped, and a glass shattered against the floor. Before she could even register the mistake, Julian’s anger erupted like a storm. “You’ve never bought a damn thing in this house!” he shouted, his voice thunderous. “You don’t get to break things you didn’t pay for!” His hand struck her cheek, the force of it knocking her back against the counter. She didn’t scream. She didn’t cry, she was numb for a second. She froze, too stunned to process what had just happened. When he saw the fear in her eyes, his anger melted into something that looked like regret, his facial expression quickly changed to one that was concerned, but it wasn’t real. It never was. He's true colors started to shine through for Emily to see. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice soft now, almost sweet. “I just… I work so hard, Emily. You don’t know the pressure I’m under. You won’t drop things again, will you? promise me you won't.” She nodded, even though her heart was screaming. That night, she locked herself in the bathroom and cried until her chest ached she couldn't believe it. Her perfect fairytale had begun to c***k. But when Julian knocked on the door, whispering apologies and promises, promises of never doing it again, she opened the door hugged him and forgave him. It was like she was under a spell. Julian's spell. Emily tried to find solace in her art again. She dug out her paints and brushes and began to create, pouring all her pain and longing into the canvas. She painted a girl with tears streaming down her face with imperfect symmetry, showing how her life started to seem imperfect and the tears representing pain. The girl in the painting looked too much like Emily herself. When Julian saw it, his fury was immediate and explosive. “Is this how you see me?” he demanded, holding up the painting like it was a personal insult. “You think I’m some kind of monster? Are you mocking me? ” Before she could explain, he ripped the canvas from its frame and stormed outside. Emily followed him, begging him to stop, but he didn’t listen. He threw her brushes and paints into a pile with the torn canvas and set them on fire. The flames roared to life, devouring the last pieces of her freedom. Emily watched in silence, tears streaming down her face, as the smoke filled the air. When Julian turned to her, his expression was calm, almost kind. “You don’t need these,” he said. “They’re a distraction. You have me, and that’s enough.” That night, he beat her again. This time, there were no sweet words to follow. He didn’t bother pretending anymore. It was in that moment, as she lay on the cold bathroom floor with bruises blooming across her skin, that Emily finally realized the truth. The fairy tale she had clung to for so long was nothing more than a lie. The man she had loved was gone if he had ever been there at all. Emily didn’t cry. She didn’t scream. She didn’t beg. Instead, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, at the girl who had given up everything for love and lost herself in the process. She couldn't even recognize her self, it was as if she was looking at a complete stranger. Something inside her shifted. The light in her eyes, the one that Julian had tried so hard to extinguish, was finally gone. But what he didn't know was that from that light is where her love for him came from. He's love for her slowly started to disappear, he would come home late sometimes not come back at all. He begun to criticize everything she did. One day, Julian was attending an award ceremony at work, Emily was to attend. Before leaving he said to her ''you better not embarrass me in front of my friends.'' she just shook her head. During the night as Emily was talking to Julian's colleagues who also attended that same school as them, even though there wives were present there he thought she was being too flirty. He stood besides her and whispered, ''we're leaving.'' she was shocked, wondering if she did anything wrong the ride home was quiet too. As soon as they walked in the house, he held her and threw her against the wall yelling, ''WHAT WAS THAT, YOU'RE A w***e NOW!! I will show you. '' he took of he's belt and whipped her without even giving her a chance to explain herself. She lay there on the cold floor after he had finished quietly sobbing. She didn’t know how, and she didn’t know when, but Emily Gray made a silent promise to herself that night. She would find her way back to who she was. And without him.