False Hope's Masterpiece

In a world wherein almost everyone work hard to achieve acceptance and live with the norms of the society, I'm still stuck in my life three years ago. I'm still trying to picture the life ahead of me without my family. I have lots of 'if' and regrets. Will I ever forgive myself? I don't know still. On the other side, have you ever heard of a paradise called Philippines? Well, welcome to my mother land! I am not here to brag about this archipelagic country with more than 7000 islands but atleast let me try to tell you a story out of 105 million stories within. I am just a typical individual who happened to have a name Soul Marie S. Cruz. It's been three years since I managed to graduate Bachelor of Secondary Education Major in Social Studies. Right after I graduated college, I did got my first job as a teacher in a private school. While working, I've enrolled myself in a review center as a preparation for the Licensure Examination for Professional Teacher. I am not that bad at studying alone but I need a review center to help me keep up with the pressure I'm feeling with my workplace. Fortunately, behind all the harships of keeping myself on track, I've passed the exam and got my license. I gues being a topnotcher was just a bonus. Yes! I've passed the exam being the top 2. Since I've already lost my family, the only celebration I can do is to sit on the grass with their tomb sorrounding me. I'm not alone actually for I still have my relatives , specially my grandmother who never fails to support me. But it doesn't spare me from the pain deep within. I know I'll pay for it someday. **** *phone rings* Ugh! who would've call this late at night?! It's saturday night and this was suppose to be peaceful and my rest night. Since my job requires us to go to school even at saturdays, I've set a rule that I won't entertain any calls or message from my work or even personal. "What?! Could you atleast consider my alone time? Is it really that important for you to call this late?!" I said as I answer the call. I didn't even bother checking the caller ID. I'm so upset to do that! "Hey! Chill girl! could you just atleast make some exemption with your so called "Saturday is Me time" rule?" said the caller that to my surprise and angers me more is my close friend Alexis. This man! "Alexis!" I literally shouted over the phone as I lean a little to my bed's headboard from a sleeping position. I heard him laughed. Well, he really loves to annoy me. "Yes my dear! the one and only!" he said with a proud tone. I just closed my eyes as I tried to focus on how I'm going to murder him at my mind. As I've said before, Saturday is ME time day, but let me introduce my rule's great violator. ALEXIS DUERO. "So what's the catch Xis?" I said with irritation. I know that this tone of irritation is just a cover up. No matter how I'm so upset with him, he will always be included to the list of my favorite individuals in the world. Alexis is my mother's bestfriend's son. We've been through alot since childhood days. He knew me better than myself as much as I knew him better that he knows himself. He played big part of my life when I'm still stuck in so much pain because of the accident. "There's no catch, Spirit." that nickname. Well, he said Soul is close to Spirit. So he decided to call me thay way so I can have life to my lifeless soul. But, what is this feeling of I'm missing something? He doesn't sound so proud just like a minute ago. "Money, I know that you are well aware that no matter how I want to murder you, I'll always Listen." I said while I got off my bed to move in the kitchen. "I'm tired and so confused." he said with a sad tone. As much as I wanted to ignore the tone, I just can't. I never heard him say this words from the very beginning. With a denial mind and shaky hands, "Tired and confused of what?" I said trying to sound so cool. I'm not really good at this. I'm afraid of intimate communication with other people especially when thay have problems. "Quit that Spirit, I know you're not into comforting people." he laughed and I did too. Maybe this is the peculiar connection that we have. Only us can have. "Well, better that being too paranoid I gues?" I laughed. This man, he's giving me too much pressure. "I'm too tired of hiding the real me..." he said sounded so tired of his life. I know this feeling. I've been doubting about his real s****l orientation. We were in Junior High when I've noticed this something about him. I never asked him directly. Until one day, when we are about to enter college, he confessed that he's a bisexual. But during that moment he is more attracted to man over women. He is the only son of the family that's why he's too afraid to tell Aunt Amor at Uncle Joseph and the whole family about it. Thus, we kept it until now. "I-" I was about to say something but he cut me off. "I'll tell them when I got home next month." he said. I don't know what to say. I can't react in an instant. But there's one thing, I'm so proud and happy for him. I mean he is a bisexual but I know they won't be that mad because he is still a decent man. He's still a man. "Honestly, I can't react properly...but, one thing my Money, I'm so proud of you. Just tell me if you need help." I said with excitement. I can't wait for him to finally burst everything out and be honest with his family because they are so great. I think I forgot to ask something. "And, money, what makes you confuse?" I asked out of curiosity. I heard him sighed. "You know I have a boyfriend right?" Yes I know that. I envy you a little my friend. I signaled him to continue. "But, I think I'm inlove with someone else...but I know that I still care for Daniel." I can really hear his confusion. But somehow annoys me. It's just so disgusting to know that he let himself falls inlove to someone while in a relationship. Men. "And then you're telling me that you don't know who to choose? Well do not choose. Let them go." I said with annoyance. How could he?! Ugh! badtrip. "Why'd you mean by that and why do I feel like you are annoyed?" I can also sense the tone of being impatient with his voice. "What?! Am I?" I asked with ignorance. I'm so annoyed! "You are! Don't tell me you are jealous?! or may be you accused me of being a jerk for allowing myself to fall for-" now he deared to almost shout at me? "No and Yes! No I'm not jealous 'cause I don't have a thing for you! and Yes, I think you are a jerk!" now I did shout at him. "Really Soul Marie?!" he said with frustration. And he calls me with my real name. I didn't answer. Now I've realized that I've been standing since I moved here in the kitchen so I decided to sit with the chair in the bar counter. "Look Spirit, I can't blame you...but I can't help myself from falling...I mean I know I have a boyfriend. But she makes me smile and really happy. Her presence really annoyed me; she's so noisy and clumsy, but, that just made me love her..." I literally fell into silence as I heard "her" in him. I mean, I know. I am aware that he is capable of loving a she but I'm just surprised that it could be this fast. Yeah. I should expect the unexpected. Love. "Hey Spirit? Still with me?" he asked that made me go back to my senses as I was trapped with the thought of him loving a she too soon. "Yes of course! I mean, yes. I-I'm just surprised?" My annoyance just lighten up. But still, this is not right. Whether a girl or a boy, it's still wrong, or may be, ugh! I don't know! I'm happy for Xis but I felt so sad for Daniel. He is such a kind person. I know how much he loves Xis. He'll be hurt, for sure. "That girl...Did she know that you love her? Have you confessed?" I asked. He sighed. "No. I'm too afraid... besides, I'm still confuse. I'll be hurting Daniel if I did..." "You already did, Alexis." "I know...that's why I'm getting crazy here..." what will I say? "And this girl...is not just a girl from the office, she's my boss's sister." What??? I think this is the catch. How cruel is deatiny to you my friend. "Then? Who cares? It's not that you're not worthy of her. But please...Xis, if you really fell out of love for Daniel, talk to him first. Explain everything to him and accept the consequences. Settle things with him first then we'll figure out your situation with 'her'" I said trying to sound not affected with the cath he just spilled. "I will. Thank you spirit. I can't handle this without you." he sounded like he's about to cry. "Anything for you." I said. We bid our goodbyes and finally hang up. What great situation to end the night and start a new day! Yes, it's already 12:30. I gues, I just sacrifice a Saturday night again for my best friend. Good morning Sunday, let me sleep with you first.