Warmth and Safety

Chapter 7 Part 2

She laid down, happy but confused and concerned. Ignis had opened up to her about something that obviously still hurt him. He’d accepted her removal of their limits.

He’d nearly kissed her.

Trying to focus on everything at once was confusing. He’d accepted that he didn’t want the limits, and he had agreed to talk with her if what limits they did set turned out to be too much.

They hadn’t even set any. He’d tried, but they’d gotten off track.

His behavior and Infero’s made sense. If their mother had killed herself when they were young, that could understand why they both had issues. Especially as gods, she expected losing a goddess mother would be even more painful considering how difficult it normally is to kill a god.

She had no idea why Ignis might have that anxiety resurface again though. Outside of her abandonment issues theory at least, and that was certainly feasible. He had said his dad was never around, and Infero had confirmed that already. Then if he read his mother’s death as her leaving him, she could see how he might be hesitant to let anyone leave him, and why the idea of that might bring up those same feelings.

The way he’d grabbed her and held her, she truly felt like he needed her in that moment. All she wanted to do was hold him, even still. He might have said he’d calmed down, but she didn’t believe that. Not from the way he’d been acting.

The joke about going to bed with him had gotten her bothered either way. She wanted to go to bed and hold him, but part of her wanted more. Like when he’d looked at her, eyes filled with grief, but staring at her lips.

She had no idea what was going on with him. Remembering Mari’s warning about the fates stringing them along, she thought about what it could mean. The incessant draw she felt to him was starting to make her worry again. She might break her own rules.

Not that anyone else seemed to care. Mari definitely didn’t, Ignis didn’t. She didn’t know how Infero felt, but considering he was regularly taking Mari out on dates alone, she had a pretty good guess. She felt foolish for being so hesitant about this, but at the same time, she couldn’t shake the knowledge that he was going to marry her friend in a year if things didn’t go according to his and his brother’s plan.

The way he’d looked at her though. It had changed so much in such a short amount of time. The cold look he’d originally given her had felt professional, impersonal, and she had loved making him drop that face. Part of her loved watching him check her out. Despite how uncomfortable she’d been with other men looking her up and down Saturday, she was excited to make Ignis look at her like that. Especially when he’d been trying not to.

She tried reminding herself she should be concerned about him, but as she fell asleep, she couldn’t help but wonder how he would have tasted if he’d just kissed her.

…

Her flame had reached out to him so many times this evening. He was kicking himself for the heavy topic. He’d promised her honesty though, and he already knew about her childhood. It was unfair for him to ask her, and not be willing to share.

No, not unwilling. Part of him felt unable to repeat those moments. Her fire had sparked a number of times during their conversation, actively reaching out to his to give him warmth and comfort. He laughed, the irony of him needing someone else to help him feel warmth and safety not lost on him.

In the absence of her and the topic though, his fire was acting up again. He wanted her to come to bed with him, but he knew she wouldn’t. If she had, he had no idea if he’d be able to promise he wasn’t going to touch her.

He wanted to touch her. The memory of her in that red dress from the other day flooded his mind. Her long legs had been fully available to his touch. The dress would have peeled off of her so easily.

Trying to clear his mind, he laid down to go to sleep.