Loneliness Contract

I wake up early on a Saturday morning. I look around my apartment remembering how I ended up here. It’s been two years since my parents kicked me. Unfortunately, I’m an only child, so my parents had high expectations for me. Since I chose to go to school for a business degree and not medicine, they basically abandoned me. They left me with plenty of money to survive on my own. They never took to time to realize I’m really smart. I took half of what they left me and doubled it in two months by getting into the stock market and investing in bitcoin. So, I lived in a four-bedroom house all by myself for a while. It was too big for just one person. After a year, I decided to move out of the house and get a small apartment. It’s been great. What’s even better is having no neighbors on the side where my TV is, so I can make it as loud as I want. I’m a bit of a loner. Never really made friends in school and had one boyfriend for about two weeks. I met this guy named Kyle during my freshman year in college. Like an i***t, I lost my virginity to him only for him to dump me right after. So, ever since then I’ve been alone. I’m fine with it, but sometimes I do get lonely. I stretch and get out of bed. Since I have no school today, I head to the kitchen and start brewing myself a pot of coffee. Benefit of taking my classes online. While it’s brewing, I go ahead and hop in the shower. After my shower, I get dressed in my baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants. I head back to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee. Five hazelnut creamers and two sugars is how I like it. I pull out my laptop and check the markets. Everything I have in stock has gone up but Sony. I close my laptop and cut on the TV. That’s pretty much my day minus schoolwork. After watching a few of my favorite shows, I get up and go look in the mirror. Sometimes I do a degradation session on myself. Sad, I know. I look at everything. Is it my face? My clothing? My personality? Like guys don’t even look at me, let alone ask me out. I mean I can’t be that bad. I’m 5′7, with long black hair, baby blue eyes, olive complexion. I’m a c cup with a decent sized booty. So, what’s there not to like? I check and keep trying to find the reason but, in the end, I can never find the reason. Even if I got in a relationship, would I even know how to express how I really feel with them? It’d all be new to me. I look at my phone. No new messages. My call log is empty besides me calling about bills. I have no contacts at all besides Miss Lundy, my landlady. I wait until my alarm goes off at twelve. That’s when I go check my mail because no one's down there. I grab my mailbox key and head down five flights of stairs. I open my mailbox and find it filled with junk mail. I close my mailbox and lock it back up. I turn around and there’s Miss Lundy. I let out a small scream and jump. She’s exactly what you imagine for an old lady. She’s about eighty, gray hair pulled back into a bun, she walks with a cane, kind of hunched forward, and is all about manners. Me: Miss Lundy, you scared. M.Lundy: Oh, I’m sorry deary. Me: It’s ok. How are you today? M.Lundy: I’m good dear thanks for asking. How about yourself? Me: Oh, you know the same old, same old. M.Lundy: Well, deary I got some good news. You're getting new neighbors in a week. Some nice young men. Maybe get yourself a boyfriend. I want to roll my eyes, but out of respect for her, I don’t. She is like a mom. She keeps a watchful eye on me. Always asking if I’m eating well, sleeping at night, and majorly pushing that I get a boyfriend. Me: Miss Lundy, you know I’m too busy for that. M.Lundy: Nonsense child. You're never too busy for love. Me: Maybe one day, but for now I’m fine being alone. Actually, I’m not. Lately, I have been craving companionship. Someone I can talk to besides myself in the mirror. Someone I can share stuff with. And maybe become more than friends. I quickly shook the thought. I haven’t been thinking about a guy, and I’m not going to start now. If anything, now I’m upset because there's no more surround sound. I finished my chat with Miss Lundy, then took the elevator back up to my apartment. Once inside, I immediately threw the mail away. I sit on the couch and pull out my laptop. I started playing my favorite MMORPG, Final Fantasy XIV. Even here, I’m not social. I’ve joined no free companies and have no friends. I really do feel like sometimes something is wrong with me. After playing for a while, I logged off and watched some more TV. I grew tired of it quickly, so I hopped on my phone and watched some vines. Ones about Netflix and chill pique my interest. For some reason I don’t laugh though. Like what does that even mean? What’s so cool about watching Netflix and hanging out? Or am I not understanding it right? I decide to turn to cringe videos, and I laugh my a*s off. It started to get late, so I headed to the kitchen to make dinner. I open the fridge and look around inside. My fridge is always full, but I never really cook anything. I imagine what it’d be like to cook for someone. I close the fridge and head to the cupboard. I grab a cup of instant Ramen noodles and throw it in the microwave. After the microwave dings, I take it out and set it on the counter. While it’s cooling, I grab myself a Gatorade and a twinkie and go set it on the coffee table. I go back and grab the noodles. I grab a plastic fork. I sit on the couch and watch TV. I finish the noodles, Gatorade, twinkie, and throw everything away. I turn the TV off and head to bed. I change clothes and climb into bed. I grab my phone and read a few of my favorite webtoons. I set my phone down and pulled my pillow close. I stare at the empty space in front of me. I close my eyes to stop a tear from falling. The moment I open them back up, they land on my pillow. I close them back and try to fall asleep, but I end up having a restless night.