The Girl I Once Loved

Chapter 8

Amara's POV

After that meeting with the therapist, I stayed in bed for 4 days. The darkness consumed me and I could barely feel anything.

Mom was trying to get me to eat or drink something, to take my medicine. I barely registered that happening. The TV played in the background, but I didn't even know what was playing.

I was barely able to sleep. And what sleep I did get, was laced with doom. I just wasn't able to describe any of what happened. I just woke up with dread.

By Friday afternoon, the darkness receded some. The TV came more into focus and thoughts were returning to a more positive side.

I sighed as I got up from my bed. I hated feeling so helpless with this feeling. Like I was a prisoner to my own mind.

I knew I needed to get out of my room and out of this house for a bit. It became too stuffy. The walls felt like they were closing in.

I pulled on some long sleeves and lightweight pants. I knew it was warm outside, but I figured I might be out for a while, and it would get cool in the evening.

The twins had some match or something, so my parents went to support that. The house was just overall quiet. At least I wouldn't get any excessive questioning just yet.

I sent a text to my mom that I went out so as not to let her worry.

I started to walk along a usual path. It was like my body just knew on instinct where I wanted to go. A block down, the sidewalk turned into a dirt path. Trees started to envelop me as I walked further into the nature preserve. It was early evening, so there was still a good amount of sunlight out. The peace of the forest washed over me and led me to feel at ease.

I made my way over to a path that was barely worn down. No one knew about this area or didn't care to go exploring. It was great as no one would be walking by. I stepped over a small log before I came into view with a small pound.

There was just something about this place that just brought tranquility to me. I missed this place while I was away.

Finding that special place to go hide and think, never really happened at the new place. I tried multiple times but always just ended up walking for hours. But here, here was like home.

I sat on a log that was off to the side and stared at the water, taking in the sounds of nature.

I watched as the sun dipped down and darkness started to creep into the forest. The moon was out tonight and filled the darkness with a pale light.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, but soon I heard a twig snap.

It scared me and caused me to stand up.

Then, he came out of the opening.

Rafael.

We both stood there shocked, staring at one another, like we were trying to figure out if this was a dream. At least I was wondering that.

"The space is all yours. I'll be on my way now," I finally broke the silence and moved to go around him.

Just as I was about to pass him, he held up his arm. I stopped before I ran into it.

"Wait," he said quietly. It gave me some pause. "Can we talk?"

I didn't know if he was playing some game, but I figured I should give him a chance. Just like that therapist suggested. I couldn't muster up the words, so I just nodded.

We go to the log and sat down with some distance between us.

"I thought you would never come back to our spot." He broke the silence.

"I've always liked it here," I told him. I didn't know what to say. This was always our spot. Where we would disappear to when we were kids. We liked being in nature.

Maybe that was why I was so drawn to this place, why it felt like home, peace. Rafa and I made it feel like that. We had the best memories of here, away from everyone.

"I come here a lot," he said as he looks over the water. We are both staring somewhere off in the distance. "I like to think back to the happier times."

"I do too," I whisper as my hand goes instinctively to my neck. I pull out my necklace and hold it. Giving me the feel of what that happiness I had once felt.

I feel his eyes suddenly on me. It makes me feel self-consious.

"You still have it," He said as a statement. There was no question about it. The memory of him giving it to me flooded my mind.

It was my birthday. I was turning 10. My parents set up a big birthday party for all of the kids in my grade. We had a bouncy house and some arts and craft project set up in the backyard.

"Mar, make sure your brothers are having fun," mom called out to me.

"But mom, it's my party. I don't want to babysit." I cried out to her.

"That doesn't mean that your sibling responsibility takes a break," mom scolded me. She likes to take the fun out of everything.

"Then you should have invited friends for them," I said as I ran off to the bouncy house before she could make me take them with.

I climbed in and started bouncing with some kids. Natalie grabbed my hands and we jumped in sync.

That was until a pair of arms wrapped around me from behind and yanked me down.

I was laughing with glee as I looked up to see Rafa had pulled me down onto him.

"Rafi! You could have been hurt," I scolded him.

"You can't hurt me. I'm invincible." Rafa chuckled.

I scrambled off of him and held out my hand. He took it and we each took Natalie's hands and we started to jump in a circle. We were all laughing.

"Kids, cake time," mom yelled out. It was like that magic word worked wonders, because we all rushed out and made our way to the table. The whole time, Rafa never let go of my hand.

"Let's have the birthday girl come to the front of the table," dad instructed.

I pulled Rafa along with me. He always joined me wherever I went. And that included everyone coming to sing happy birthday to me.

After the singing and I blew out my candles, the cut was being cut and all the kids quieted down to eat away.

"I have a present for you," Rafa whispered into my ear. I smiled at him with a dorky smile. "But I want to give it to you at our spot."

All I could do was nod. We finished our cake and played for a while longer.

Soon everyone was leaving and Rafa and his parents were helping my parents to clean up from the party.

"Why don't we let the kids go play, Marie. They have been such a big help already." Rafa's mom said to the group. There was a consensus and we rushed off to go to the forest. Our parents knew where we were going and told us to be home before dark.

"Happy birthday Mar-ee," Rafa said as we settled into to spot looking over the water. He produced a box from his pocket and handed it to me.

"Oh I see, you didn't want the other kids to make fun out of you for not giving me a toy," I teased him as I took the box into my hand.

"They don't need to be apart of our special moment," he said. I didn't understand what that meant.

I opened the box and saw a silver necklace. The symbol was an infinity.

"It's how much you mean to me." Rafa said with bright eyes. I threw my arms around him as I said thank you a lot.

"I promise I will never take this off." I beamed looking at it. "Now help me put this on."