Unlawful Secrets

The atmosphere here in these white walls were cold and silent but intense. "Avery, why didn't you tell me about it sooner?" Marcus who broke the silence, his voice almost cracked with a sad tone. I was staring blankly on thin air but I can still feel his steadily gaze at me. "I was gonna...it was supposed to be a surprise." I replied unemotionally then tears just rolled down my cheeks on its own while I'm grasping on my womb. "Pero hindi, eh, ako 'yung sinurpresa mo." I finally looked him in the eyes with mine that is full of rage and disbelief. "You lied to me again. You're still seeing each other...behind my back. How could you?!" "Hon...I'm really sorry...please forgive me..." with his teary eyes showing remorse. "I can explain to you what really happened." He attempted to hold my other hand but I immediately shoved his arm right away. "NO!! I lost my baby because of you! You lost your own child because of what you did!" kahit nanghihina pa ay gigil na gigil na nasigawan ko siya sa pinakamalakas na boses na kaya ko. Wala akong pakialam kung may makarinig ma'ng ibang tao. Hindi pa ako nakontento sa pagsigaw ko sa kanya kaya naman hinanda ko ang sarili ko na tipunin ang lakas na natitira mula sa'kin para ibuhos lahat-lahat ito sa kanya sa pamamagitan ng pagsampal at paghampas ko sana sa kanya dahil sa sobrang sama ng loob na nararamdaman ko ngayon pero bago ko pa man gawin iyon ay mabilis na siyang nakatayo at niyakap ako ng napakahigpit. "Please listen to me...I swear to you, nothing happened. I couldn't betray you again because I love you and I don't want to lose you." he pleaded as I felt his tears on my shoulder dripping through my thin hospital gown. "You liar!! Let go of me!! Son of a b***h!!" I tried to break loose from his grip but he's just too strong and my body is fragile at this moment. "Please believe me, Avery...just this once, please..." "No! I can't...no..." hanggang sa ako na rin mismo ang sumuko at hinayaan na lamang siya sa pagkakayakap niya sa akin. "Why are you doing this to me? Bring me back my baby...my baby..." at hindi ko na nga napigilan ang sarili ko sa paghagulgol ng iyak. Hikbi ako ng hikbi at parang walang katapusan na ang pag-agos ng aking mga luha. Pinagtaksilan na nga ako ng taong mahal ko, nawalan pa kami ng magiging anak sana. It was very heavy in my heart when I learned that I suffered miscarriage and so painful that it's tearing every pieces of me. I feel awful and couldn't stop myself from crying. My emotions are too high right now. Kung bomba lang itong nararamdaman ko ngayon, paniguradong kanina pa dapat ito sumabog. This past couple of weeks, I was going to tell Marcus that I'm having his baby. It's the very first day that I knew I was pregnant but didn't know how far along I was. All I know is that I was really happy and it felt like bliss was gushing through my veins. I've never felt this kind of excitement in my entire life. I couldn't wait for myself and my husband to get home from work that's why I decided to take a leave from my office and go to his law firm. I stopped taking birth control pills and after almost a year of trying to conceive, finally, it's now here growing inside my womb. Kaya naman panigurado akong matutuwa rin si Marcus pag nalaman niya ang good news ko sa kanya. Can't wait to see his reaction! As soon as I arrived to my husband's office, I could already hear his voice talking to someone but didn't understand what he's saying. So I peeked through the small glass frame of the door and couldn't believe what I saw. Why is that b***h here?! I know they're talking about something serious, I could tell it from the expression on their faces. But what could it be? In anger, I slammed the door open that made them look on the doorway. Marcus and Cassandra were both startled when they knew that it was me who entered the room. "A-avery? What are you doing here?" Marcus asked, feeling a little agitated of my sudden presence. "Why? Did I interrupt something?" I scorned. "No, of course not. We were just talking." then he looked away. So, I demanded them to explain what the hell were they talking about that it looked important and it only needed to be the two of them but they just answered that it was nothing then they nervously glanced into each others eyes. Marcus cleared his throat and Cassandra immediately wore her bag placed in the chair. They're not really going to talk, huh? Kahit nag-u-umapoy ako sa galit at gustung-gustong pag-untugin ang mga ulo nila sa isa't-isa ay pinili kong maging kalmado. Hindi ako mag-a-amok, hindi ko ibababa ang sarili ko sa gano'ng antas. I am a lady with class unlike this other woman in front of me whose cheap. Cassandra was about to walk pass behind me but I grabbed her arm roughly that made her flinch. I gave her a piercing look and she just bow down her head like a shy little girl. I smirked and rolled my eyes out of contempt. "I haven't seen anyone as shameless as you. How pathetic!" "I'm sorry." that's all she could say to the point of almost crying. I took a deep breath, not wanting to react violently. "Leave. Before I hit my stilleto on your face. Unless you want me to carve something horrible on that pretty face of yours." then I smirked. I harshly let go of her arm then she hurriedly fled out of here. I'll let her go that easy because she's not worth my energy. I wanted to burst out into rage so bad, but thankfully, I still managed to keep my poise controlled. After that incident, Marcus kept wooing me. He keeps on telling me nothing happened-that they just talked, but when I asked him what they talked about pologizing again and again, making me breakfast, telling me how much he loves me, saying tha and etcetera but I did not fall for any of it. Instead, stress and overthinking took over me. It gave me sleepless nights, I didn't eat much, more crying, episodes of headache. In that very short period of time, I couldn't take care of myself properly that it cost me my baby. How am I supposed to survive now after what happened to me? I'm already crashing. Bigla na lamang kaming napatingin ni Marcus sa bandang pinto ng private room na kinaroroonan ko ngayon dahil sa lakas ng pagkabukas nito kasunod ng pagpasok ni Amanda na halatang nanggagalaiti ang mukha. Sinugod niya agad si Marcus at isang malutong na sampal sa pisngi ang ibinigay ni Amanda sa kanya. Hindi ako umimik. Hinayaan ko na lang kung ano'ng gagawin niya, wala akong pakialam. "You?! You cheating asshole! Is one p***y not enough for you?! What's wrong with you?!" nang-gagalaiting sigaw ni Amanda habang dinuduro-duro si Marcus. "Amanda, please don't interfere. You don't even know what happened. This is between us." kalmadong sinabi ni Marcus. "I can't do that!" she refused with disdain. "After all what you've did to my sister, I should kill you!" "Amanda, can you stop and let me handle this-" "Enough, Marcus. Just get out of here." I uttered coldy, wiping my tears away. "Avery..." he gazed at me with his sad eyes but I quickly looked away. "Just call me if you need anything, I'll be outside." then he left displeased. Dali-dali namang yumakap sa'kin si Amanda ng mariin. "I'm so sorry for what happened. Please be strong, Avery. Nandito lang ako kapag may kailangan ka." I can feel the sympathy of her voice but more of her warmth embrace. I'm already exhausted from crying but tears still keeps falling from my eyes and my body is drained out of strength. When will this end? "Shh...it's alright. I'm here...I'm here." Amanda gently stroked my back. I'm so much grateful to my sister. She's always there for me and I find comfort in her. I'm glad we grew up close to each other. Kahit ngayong independent na kami at busy sa mga work namin ay nakakapaglaan pa rin kami ng oras para sa isa't-isa. Mas bata siya sa'kin ng dalawang taon pero mas matapang siya at mas straight forward magsalita. "Hinayupak yang asawa mo! Twice is too much, Avery. At hindi ka sigurado kung si Cassandra lang ba ang babae niya." she heaved a sigh. "Why don't you annul him? What he did to you was severe. You can't just forgive him." I bit my lower lip in frustration. "I...I need to think, Amanda." She looked at me worried then caressed my arm. "Yes, of course. Take all the time you need and recover first." My heart skipped a bit when I thought about annulment. What should I do? Is our marriage really over?