Silent Heart

What am I doing here? Why am I lying on this concrete staring at the planes going through the sky? Smoke is filling inside my throat, the burning sensation fills my eyes and my lungs. I need to get up. I have to get up. There's nothing but silence as my eyes glance over to the man yelling at me to stand up. I watch his lips move, "Get up! Get up right now!" He's in a panic as he looks down the street, "Suit yourself," he mouths before he takes off. Why can't I move? Maybe I'm in shock, I think I blacked out. My eyes move to the crashed cars in the middle of the street, the buildings on fire. That's where the smoke is coming from. I attempt to lift my head off the ground but fail, everything is silent but nothing is still. People are running from something, what are they running from? I look over to see a little girl standing by the tree, tears down her face and her mouth opened. She's screaming, I think. I would say, during this time, being deaf is a blessing. She's looking at something, I turn over and follow her eyes to one of the bodies lying in the street. I have to get up. I have to move. Something terrible is happening. I groan as I flip to my stomach and my hands dig into the hard concrete. I haven't found myself lying on a street since I was a kid, riding on my flowered bike with silver streamers on the handlebars. The front wheel had hit a rock in the middle of the road as my eyes wondered to the trees. The bike suddenly jolted forward and flipped, my hands and knees were scraped up and covered in tiny rock particles and blood. I bring myself up to sit on my knees and look ahead, military trucks? What're they doing here? Soliders, holding guns, bodies dropping like weights. Those aren't our uniforms they're wearing, one man points towards me, signaling to another beside him. I watch their lips move, but I can't make out any of the words. It's not English they're speaking. That's when everything rushes to me, the news, the warnings of how we could soon go under attack. I didn't believe it, I thought the government was only trying to scare us. You have to move, Willow. I look over at the little girl, she's gone. I stand up onto my feet and suddenly, someone grabs me from behind and pulls me to them. No! He knocks me to the ground and puts his finger to his dry lips before smearing something on my face. "Don't move a muscle, hold your breath," he mouths. I furrow my eyebrows together and squint at him, there's no time to argue about this. Just do what he says. I turn onto my stomach, my face against the freshly cut grass. I stay still and hold my breath as they come closer. Does playing dead ever actually work? How can they hold their breath for so long? Doesn't fear trigger muscle movement too? I can feel them moving around me, I wonder if they're saying anything? One of the men kicks me but I don't make a sound. They're leaving now. Did it work? Did they actually believe it? Thank God. I open my eyes and see one of the men bent down staring directly at my face. I let out a scream, I know I'm screaming, I can feel the vibrations in my throat. He mouths something, another man lifts me up and smiles at me. How could you be so stupid Willow?! You should have been patient! Now you're going to die, for real this time. You won't have to pretend or hold your breath. I feel the barrel of one of their guns on my head, I squeeze my eyes shut and beg for mercy in my head. My prayer was answered within seconds, I feel the barrel yanked off of me and open my eyes to see the man from earlier throwing in punches and fighting. "Run!" I watch his lips say the word, run? One of the other men tries to grab me but I take off, not looking back to see what happened to the knight in shining armor. Would it make a difference if I did? Why would he even help me? He doesn't know me. I take off between the houses and see one of the back doors open, better than staying out here, visible. I make a dash inside and slam the door shut behind me, locking the handle. I look around at how dark the rooms are, maybe a family took off? Or maybe they're out there in the streets like everyone else. Maybe being able to hear in a time like this would be better, if I could hear, I would know that someone from behind me has just c****d a shotgun at me. I take a step forward and look around at the stairs. Then, finally, I turn around and see a woman standing there next to a young boy, "Who are you?" she mouths, what do I even tell her? I can't even form words. I point to my ears and my lips and shake my head, she looks over at the boy and hands the shotgun to him, she signs to him, "Keep that on her," she knows sign language. I look over to the boy, he must have the same problem as I do. She looks at me and moves her hands, "I'm only gonna ask you one more time, who the hell are you?" she signs aggressively. I don't need sign language to know she's upset, her facial expressions give that away easily. I let out a sigh and lift my hands, "My name is Willow Macread, I was in an accident on the street. We are under attack," I sign to her. She nods, "I know that. I need you to leave, I'm not risking our lives for a stranger," she signs, so leaving me out to die?! I shake my head, "They'll kill me," I sign to her, she snatches the gun from her son, "If you don't leave now, I'll kill you," she mouths. My heart races, I don't have a lot of options here. I can die out there or in here. Maybe I'll have a chance? "Please," I sign, she steps closer to me with the gun and I back into the wall, she signals to the back door. "Go." she mouths, I shake my head, this is inhumane. Leaving someone out there to die. Someone walks in through the back door and points his gun to her, it's the man who saved me before. "Drop the gun," his lips move, she turns to face him, startled and lifts her weapon hire. They are talking to each other but their lips are moving too fast, I can't make out what they're saying. I look at the little boy who is staring at the front door, a red dot on his forehead. What the- NO! I dart at him and knock him to the ground, I don't hear the gunfire go off but I know it did. The boy is crying, looking at who took his place. I look back at the woman lying on the ground, blood running on the wooden floor. Splatters on the wall. Oh my God. The man pulls my arm, "It's not safe," he tells me, he pulls the boys arm with his other hand. The man is saying something but neither of us know what, his back is faced towards us. He grabs the womans shotgun and pushes it to me, I've never shot a gun before and I would never kill somebody. My eyes stare in horror at the womans body, I look down at the boy who is sobbing. It's my fault. I should have left before. "Let's move." the man mouths, pulling me, I didn't even notice the boy was holding my hand until I'm dragging him along with me.