4th of July // JOJI

Can't Sleep Either?

When you return to the house it’s dark outside. Another fire is lit and pizzas are ordered.

“Hey, what happened to Natalie?” A girl, Hanna, asks Joji from across the fire pit. He takes his time chewing the pizza before answering.

“She had work today.”

“She was cute, I liked her.” She smiles and Joji smiles back shyly. Now he’s the one being oddly quiet. He’s been acting different ever since you’ve arrived back home. The tension between you two felt stronger than ever. You couldn’t stop thinking about the way his chest was pressed to your back in the water.

“Yeah,” Adam agrees, emerging from the house with several beers in his hands, “What’s the deal with her Joji? You been hitting that?” You and Hanna groan but everyone else laughs.

“Yeah, dude.” Joji laughs along with them and takes a beer. You’re suddenly not so hungry anymore and you get mad at yourself for even caring. You have no right to be bothered.

“Hey, whatever happened to your guy?” You look up to see Adam handing you a beer. “James, right?” As close as you and Adam were, he had no idea you stopped talking to James nearly a month ago. You nod, taking a swig of the beer before answering. You find Joji’s eyes locking with your own.

“Yeah… James. We actually broke up a few weeks ago.”

“I didn’t know you were seeing anybody.” Joji says cooly.

“I didn’t know you were either.” That was a lie of course.

“I told you she’s not…” His voice trails off as Adam pulls a chair in between the two of you.

“God, you should’ve seen this guy, Joji.” Adam hiccups, already drunk. “James was a total dick.”

“You only met him once!”

“Doesn’t matter,” He shakes his head, “I can always tell. Am I wrong though?” You would love to disagree but he had a point. James forgot every date, every plan, every dinner. You would’ve been mad but somewhere in your mind you must’ve known he was just a space filler for something real. Maybe you were actually the d**k.

The rest of the night is spent trashing your decisions when it comes to men and boyfriends. “Remember when you dated that douche when we were Sophomores? You were so excited about some fancy ass French restaurant and then he takes you to Burger King as a joke.” Adam falls onto you, laughing so hard, some of his beer sloshes onto your lap. Really hilarious stuff.

---

It’s late, somewhere around 3am, you’re exhausted but you can’t sleep. The long hours spent in the sun and water wiped your body out but your mind was restless. You tiptoe out to the kitchen to get yourself a drink when you notice a figure by the pool. They put out the last of a lit cigarette and then slowly make their way to the kitchen door, pausing for a moment when they see you standing there watching with your glass of water.

“Can’t sleep either?” You whisper.

“No, not really.” Joji pulls his hood down, letting you see his face illuminated in the moonlight shining through the windows. He really was beautiful. “I’ve been tossing and turning all night.”

“Me too.” You set the glass down and the both of you wince at the loud noise it makes, connecting with the marble countertop.

“Do you want to come back to my room?” He asks and it’s embarrassing how quickly you accept his offer.

He doesn’t bother to switch the lights on as you enter his room. He left the curtains open, letting the moonlight shine through and reflect off the mirror on the vanity. The window is cracked, letting in a cool breeze. You sit facing him on the fluffy white comforter, suddenly self conscious in your sleep shorts and bare legs.

“I never got to ask you how the tour went.” You’re still whispering even though it’s just the two of you down this hallway. “I feel like we really haven’t talked much at all.”

“It was probably the most exciting thing I’ve ever done.” He sighs, sitting back against the headboard, probably reliving it in his head. “It was insane.”

“I watched a few videos, you sounded really good.” Your heart had swelled watching them. He looked right at home on the stage.

“You’re really gonna come to the New York show right?”

“If you’re inviting me, then of course.”

“No s**t, you’re always invited.” He rolls his eyes at you, “We’ll get you hooked up with backstage passes and all that.”

“Well I’ll be there.” The breeze makes you shiver and you move next to him against the headboard.

“Good.” He watches you move closer, you notice his eyes lingering on your legs, “You know I’ve never been so glad to be home. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was going to be over there.”

“I can’t imagine how much energy that takes, putting on a show like that.” You whisper and then feel his fingers at the side of your thigh. Your breath catches as you force yourself not to completely fall apart at his touch.