TM [Complete ✔️]

7. Decision

Zane's P.O.V

Much to my relief, she shook her head almost immediately.

"He'd promised me not to lie and keep information ever again after my sister, so he told me something was going to go down but asked me not to ponder over it," she trailed off.

"So you didn't ask?" Now was her turn to shrug.

"No." She replied honestly. "I've had a lot on my mind with, well, everything, and I trusted him when he said it was better I find out with everyone else."

I shook my head and gulped some of the fresh air, the entire day making me feel like my body was pushed underwater.

"And was it?" She looked at me, confused. "Was it better to find out along with everyone else?"

"Yes," Dali replied only a second after pondering it over. "It would've been good for him to warn you, us, as this is no small decision, but honestly, I do believe that managing to leave the place that caused you harm was part of healing."

I stopped walking, her steps faltering along with mine.

"Yet you stayed?" Her body stiffened before she slowly exhaled and looked back at me. Her past would never not be a sensitive subject and for all she'd done for me, all she does for me, I was the biggest i***t in the world for pestering her about it.

"It's my home." She shrugged simply. "It's not the place I remember in my nightmares. It's the place I came back home to, the memories I have with my parents which I never got to grieve." Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. "Yet every time you look, every time you come home to an empty suite..."

"That's where my nightmares would be." I finished for her.

It took my friend a couple more steps before she could nod.

"And you don't believe I could heal if I stayed?"

"Of course I do. I believe you're strong enough to heal anywhere, I just suggest you try something new before you waste away and make it that much harder."

"Luna Dalia?" The same Omega that had come to escort us to the conference room ran up to us. "Luna, Alpha Knox sent me to retrieve you back for the meeting. The rest of the Alphas and Lunas are all awaiting you and Beta Zane." For the last part, he looked at me.

Dali did too.

"Please tell him we'll be back in a few minutes!"

"Alright, Luna!" He mumbled, confused, and walked away.

Once he was a safe distance away, I turned toward her awkwardly.

"Could I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Zane." She looked up at me with a small smile and it only made it that much harder to ask, knowing it would wipe it right off her face.

"Are you pregnant?" Her entire body froze, her fingers digging into the palm of her hand.

"No." She swallowed. "Why?"

"Then why not link him and tell him yourself? Why does he send others to retrieve you, us, when he too could've mind linked you instead?"

"I-" she began, shutting herself up.

Of course, I had half a mind to figure it out myself as soon as we left this morning, having not been in the right state to pick it up beforehand, yet seeing her frustrated and guilty state now, my suspicions were confirmed.

"You don't need to act like this with me, D!" I sighed, hating myself for not saying something sooner. I knew I'd give anything and everything for what she was pushing away because of me.

"Like what?"

"Like this! Not talking to me about friendships and your mate bond and grief and healing." I shrugged. "I lost my mate, I don't want to lose my friend too." She peered up at me, guilt once again flashing in her eyes.

"Truth is, everything changed now that she's gone and I just..." My friend stopped to take a breath that felt hard on her lungs. "I just didn't want to hurt you by making new friends. I'll never forget Rose and my little boy, they'll always be in my heart-"

"But you need to keep going because your life doesn't end along with theirs. I know, D!" I kicked a rock lingering in my path. "I don't know when I'll be able to wake up without feeling the weight of the world pressing on my chest, but when I do I want to be able to share it with you." She stopped walking and put her arm on mine, silently reassuring me she'd be there, whenever that may be.

"Also, I wasn't the only one who lost her that day. Rosie was, more or less, your sister, and you just lost her for the second time. She was your best friend since childhood and you two wanted to raise your pups together. I never really told you how truly sorry I was about him, D!"

"It's not a competition, Zane! It's not about who lost more. We both got loved ones taken away from us too soon, but I know they'll be watching us, expecting us to stay by one another." I showed her a small smile, my first one in ages.

I wish I'd smiled more before, I realized. I wished I'd smiled at every beautiful flower, every flowing river, every running wolf. I wish I'd smiled more because I knew it wasn't in the cards for me now but reminding my muscles of how it was done sent a small, betraying sliver of hope straight to my empty chest.

"Whatever happens during that council, even if I have to move away, I'll always be one call away." This time, it was my turn to reassure her, running my hand up and down her coat's sleeve.

The coat she didn't need but he'd forced on her like I once did.

"Knox is your mate, don't push him away for my sake! Make new friends, become a mother when you're ready to, Rose and Neo would've wanted you to." Tears burned my eyes, threatening to spill despite how many times I blinked them away.

Saying those words was as necessary as it was painful and only made me realize I'd never considered everyone would one day start to move on.

One day, today, tomorrow, in a week, month, or year, everybody would forget my beautiful, doe-eyed mate and move on, while I'd still be here, a wolf once strong now fighting back tears.

One day, my grief would become a mere inconvenience, something they'd all expect I'd overcome by now, and when I haven't, that would be when I'd truly be alone.

But when she nodded, I couldn't find it in me to bite my words back. I believed what I'd said and I had no problem remembering my girl alone if it meant I got to have our memories forever.

"And when you're ready, you'll do the same." I nodded as well, though knowing it would never happen.

"I promised her, you know?" I blinked, fast, trying so hard not to break down despite my voice's betrayal. "When I last saw her, when I was with her and your pup, she asked me to promise her to remain the one she fell in love with, to smile, laugh, live. And I did. I promised her and that may be the only promise to her I'll ever break."

Dali sniffed, wiping her own tears.

"You love her too much to break a promise to her, especially the last one."

"Was that meant to comfort or disappoint me?" I asked drily.

"Neither," she murmured, "just a statement."

***

We returned to the conference room ten minutes later.

This time, when Knox leaned in to whisper in her ear, even though he was merely asking where we were, she didn't push him away, nor did she look my way.

I'd already forgotten how to smile again, but I would've if I could.

I averted my gaze, giving the two some privacy as the Elders cleared their throats and awaited further announcements from Knox.

From me.

A chained-up Cedric was on his knees only a few feet from the head of the table, setting an example of how easy it was to fall from the top if greed ever became too much.

I tuned everything out again, trying to make sure my decision was the right one.

After Dali reassured me that I did actually have one, that her mate would never force the position upon me if I truly said I didn't want it - I considered what I would be able to handle, what would be best for my little girl.

And I came to a decision, albeit not being too sure of it.

Talking to my friend, however, made me realise how crippling grief could be when you force yourself to face it on your own.

I hadn't talked to anybody since my mate passed, to the point where my voice went hoarse, when all she'd wanted was for me to heal and remain a United font with our family - for our family.

I figured I'd try. That I wanted to try.

If not for myself, then for Beyla and Zion, whenever his return may be.

I realized that I was too afraid of being alone to push away the only wolves I was willing to talk to, fight for, and perhaps, live for.

I realized the idea of being alone scared me more than trying, and that made me just a little bit stronger than I was yesterday.

"Alpha?" The faint voice of Elder Theo met my ears. "Has a decision been made?" Knox looked at me, waiting, as did all the rest of the room.

I pictured my daughter's face, a smile adorned it, pictured her growing up protected and amongst pups her age, as I got up, gripping the table for support and looked right at the still kneeling no-longer Alpha as I said,

"I, Zane Lennox Brown, accept the position as Alpha of the Silver Claws pack!"

A/N

Hi, Treasures! Make sure you join my F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k group Teddy's Treasures for extra content and discussions! Zane will be an Alpha! What do you think?