TM [Complete ✔️]

9. Reunited

Zane's P.O.V

The rest of the car ride, I spent in silence. Processing.

I still felt guilty I didn't notice my closest friends, the wolves I considered my family, were struggling, despite Knox's reassurance. Yet another part of me also thought of all they'd done for me and wondered what I'd do without them.

Having someone I trusted around Beyla, even for a few minutes so I could take a shower, having someone help with the dishes and the cleaning when I got overwhelmed and someone to force food down my throat whenever I didn't think I could stomach it - I didn't know how I'd let go of that.

The car came to a stop, my leg bouncing up and down in anticipation as I stared at the pack house I'd lived my whole life in but would have to leave for another.

"Do you mind?" I asked, my hand gripping the handle, ready to pull the door open and rush out.

"Go," Dali said with a soft smile.

That was all the invitation I needed to run out of the car and straight up to my suite, happy to see the guards I'd stationed in front of the front door. They gave me a curt nod as I passed them, not caring if I seemed too eager to be inside.

"Beta Zane," one of the wolves greeted me, "how was your trip?"

"Good," I muttered, jumbling the key harshly into the lock until the door finally slipped open.

I jerked my chin towards the two guards, every inch of me itching to be with my daughter already.

"Thank you for protecting my daughter, you're free to leave!" Before they could speak up again, I shut the door behind me, exhaling as I leaned against it, the exhaustion of the travel and meeting catching up to me.

"Zane?" My mother called from the nursery, "we're in here!" I almost ran into the room, immediately spotting Mom as she rocked Beyla in her arms, patting her back. "Quiet, she's almost asleep." She murmured, looking down at my little girl.

I carefully brought my hand up to trace her smooth cheeks, the touch almost bringing me to what was once home. I leaned down, placing a soft kiss on top of her head and rubbing my own hand down her back.

She was safe, and although it was hard for me to accept it with all the lies between us, she was very much loved by my mother.

"Would you," I stepped back, rubbing my neck, "would you mind staying for a bit?" My mother's eyes filled with hope, making the hole in my chest clench painfully.

"I need to do something and Beyla's almost asleep so," I continued, switching my gaze to my pup instead.

"I'd love to, honey." She said. "Will you be long? Are you hungry?" Before she could come up with more questions, I shook my head.

"Not hungry and probably won't be out for more than an hour or two."

"Well, I'm here for as long as you need me." My mom promised, her unspoken promises and apologies hanging thick in the air.

I didn't reply as I walked out, avoiding what looked like the entire pack stationed out front to welcome their Alpha and Luna, to welcome me.

Hiding from them, I snuck out of the back exit and made my way to the nearest flower shop, my thoughts racing and stomach tying into a knot as I bought a large bouquet of red roses and continued walking until I was at my mate's grave.

I was a fool to believe the day I buried her was the day I said my final goodbye. Truth was, I never would. She'd live in my heart, in my soul, in my dreams, and in my nightmares, until I was buried right down there with her. That would be my final goodbye, my last breath, and only long enough to be able to reunite in the Heavens above.

"Hey, Angel," I choked on a sob as I did any time I came here. A month was not nearly long enough to be able to look at the headstone and not remember my girl's large green eyes, enchanting smile, and silky-soft hair strands instead.

I sat in the dirt, putting away the few flowers that had started going bad. I was here too often to allow her grave to be unkept but when I wasn't anymore...

Would anyone bother visiting her often enough? Talking to her? Letting her know where I was, where her daughter was? Would she follow us and continue to watch upon us even away from where she was buried?

"I'm leaving, Angel," I mumbled, placing the fresh roses down.

Words seemed to escape me entirely as I looked for what to say, my guilt and grief overriding my ability to speak.

"I wish I could take you with me." I shrugged. "Possibly alive. I wish I could see you and your caring nature become Luna, watch over your pack. I wish you could be the mother you always wanted to be, to have you cuddling Beyla as I made you breakfast in the mornings," I trailed off, hanging my head.

The reality of life without her hadn't fully set in with the possibility of at least laying flowers down her grave, talking to her, and sometimes even bringing our pup. Now, however, as even that was being taken away from me, I feared the promise I'd made her was impossible.

Was already broken.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart! I wish I could have been stronger, better. I wish I could've bought more of those expensive lattes you liked and taken you on more shopping trips." I shook my head, tears falling down my cheeks. "I'll always come back to you, I promise. And even in the huge pack house with all the new wolves, even as they turn to me for guidance, I'll always be thinking of you!" The silence broke my already shattered pieces further. Burned them straight into ash.

It stretched thick, not allowing me to at least pretend to get an answer.

Not allowing me to believe I was having a normal conversation.

"Zane?" I whirled around to find my Luna standing behind them, breaking the suffocating quiet as if she knew it had started eating me alive. "I thought you were home?" I looked at her, then around the meters and meters of graveyards surrounding us before I met her gaze again.

"I am."

I didn't dare gauge her reaction.

"That's not your home." She quietly sat next to me. "At least it shouldn't be for many years." I shrugged.

"I wouldn't mind it." Before I could realize what was happening, my friend's fist had already punched the side of my stomach, making me wince.

"You deserve it!" She said sternly. "No giving up on us, Zane! You're stronger than that, we all believe you are, Rosie included!" Her voice softened. "The reason why she did what she did was that she knew I wasn't," Dali shrugged as I looked at her, "It's true. I'm not strong enough to handle my mate... passing away. And she knew that, yet she believed you were. Don't let her down! Don't let your daughter, your pack, us, down, okay?"

"Okay," I mumbled, once again being reminded how many wolves believed in me, even when I'd given up on myself.

For the first time in over a month, a warm, fuzzy feeling enveloped me, and I allowed it to snake itself through my veins, to remind me of the strength I once possessed.

"Thank you!" I said finally, squeezing Dali's hand for a moment. "For everything. I'll miss you drilling common sense into my thick brain."

"Don't speak as if we're saying goodbye, Zane! I'll always be here for you, as will Knox. We'll speak on the phone and spend holidays together. Just because you're pursuing bigger and better things doesn't mean your family suddenly leaves you behind."

I was at a loss for words once more and it seemed she knew as she lay her head atop my shoulder and let us sit in silence, this time comfortable.

***

I returned less than an hour later, letting my friend visit her loved ones on her own.

I walked back into my suite, finding my mother stirring something at the stove. She smiled at me as soon as she noticed me walk inside, and I allowed myself to attempt a small smile back.

I knew I'd have to tell her of my decision soon, that our relationship was strained, but just for an evening, I let myself pretend things were normal.

Or as normal as they could be.

"What are you making?" I asked, plopping down on the couch.

"Your favorite pasta. You hungry?" I nodded, her smile morphing into a grin. "I'll be ready soon!"

"Beyla?" I peered at the door to her nursery as if it would turn clear and allow me to see my little bean.

"Still asleep."

"Oh." My disappointed mutter made my mother chuckle.

"You're the same as your dad. He used to be around you all day, listening in to every peep until I had to drag him away so he'd let you sleep. At night, he'd shift and sleep by your crib to protect you better." Her expression was dreamy and bittersweet as she talked about my father, though she seemed happy.

I wondered, and hoped, to one day be able to speak of my Rosie without sadness lingering.

"I have to tell you something." I brought myself to say, making Mom turn to me as she tried to mask the worry of her features.

"What is it, honey?"

"The meeting I was at was to figure out what to do with Cedric and his pack after their betrayal."

"Well?" She prodded as I went quiet.

"Apparently, the warriors that had participated either died during their mission, due to the Lord not wanting witnesses, or are in the prisons of Silver Claws already, as is Cedric now."

"Okay," my mother drawled, confused.

"Cedric will be stripped of his title in two weeks. Had to be taken out before the announcement was made but I assume he knows by now."

"That's great! Serves him right." She turned back to her cooking.

"Mom," I continued, "the new Alpha of Silver Claws is me."

She dropped the spoon she was using to the ground, the metal clinking against it.

"You," she stammered, horror swimming in her eyes. "You what? Why?" Beyla's screeching filled the space, allowing me to escape the awkwardness of the situation as I bolted for the nursery, finally getting to pick up my daughter.

"Hi, Bean!" I murmured, gently pecking the top of her head. "Thanks for the wake-up call, at least I won't be alone when we give you grandma a heart attack, huh?" In my arms, the pup calmed down fast, peering up at me through her big blue eyes.

I hoped she'd get to keep them as she grew older.

I walked back out into the living area, finding my mom on the couch with her head in her hands.

"We're moving?" She asked quietly.

"No," I sat next to her, "Beyla and I are moving, Mom."

My anger for her lies almost vanished at the broken look that crossed her eyes.

"You're still mad at me? Mad enough to leave me alone here - without my son or granddaughter?" Her voice raised, the betrayal clear. I shrugged.

"Am I still mad - yes, but it's not about that. You've spent your whole life here and knowing how much it hurts to leave my mate and the memories with her behind, I don't want to make you do the same.

"I don't want to be here without you! You're all I have left!" A tear streamed down her cheek, making me look away. "Zane, I don't even have a grave to visit your father on! I've come to terms with the fact that he's not here! I dedicated my life to you, honey!"

I shook my head, still unable to look at her.

"But Rosie has a grave, and so do Aunt Aria and Neo. I-I need you here, to look after them."

"And who's going to look after you?" My mother looked at Beyla, cuddled up in my arms. "After her?"

"I'm capable of raising my pup. As for me," I shrugged, "I don't need anyone to look after me."

"You're wrong." She countered.

"Perhaps," I shrugged again, "it won't be the first or last time, though."

She jumped from her seat, making me clutch my daughter tighter, protectively.

"You don't get to make that choice for me!" She screeched angrily, both of us knowing it was a last attempt at making me change my mind.

"It's not a choice but a consequence of my decisions that I won't let you take with me!" She shook her head.

"Are you punishing me? Is this your sick way of expressing exactly how much I hurt you?" Mom shouted.

She hadn't shouted at me like this since... never.

"Because I apologized, Zane! Over and over again, and I gave you time and space, so you could figure out where we stood, where you stood!" She shook her head, the disappointment in her eyes as clear as her dripping tears. "But you know what? I think the only one you're really trying to punish is yourself! And, sweetheart, it's working."

Silence stretched between us as she took time to gather herself.

"You want to battle your demons alone - fine. You want to take my only granddaughter away from me - fine, she's your pup. Perhaps I even deserved it. Whenever you're ready to admit to yourself that pushing everyone away because Rose died won't bring her back - I'll be here, as you wanted."

"Get out!" I whispered, my voice deadly calm despite the burning, raging inferno roaring in my veins.

And she did, without so much as another word, the pasta burning on the stove.

A/N

Hi, Treasures! Make sure you join my F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k group Teddy's Treasures for extra content and discussions! Is Zane punishing someone, and if so - who?