A walk between worlds

Confession

Confession

          It has been almost a week already and I am so happy here with Shawn.  We have visited much of the surrounding area.  There was a section where a barn once stood on the property.  Shawn told me he has plans to rebuild it in the future, which of course excites me because I love horses.

          One night we were sitting on the couch in front of the fire snuggled under a blanket together and Shawn got very quiet for some reason.  I looked up at him at him and said, “Is there something on your mind?  You seem distant all of a sudden.”

          Shawn took his hand in mine and turned and looked at me with worry across his face.  “Well, something has been bothering me and I don’t want to hide anything from you, and I never want to lie to you.  I am going to tell you something and I don’t know how you are going to take it.”

          I said, “Well, you won’t know until you tell me.  I will listen with an open mind, I promise.  Tell me.” 

          He took a deep breathe, “Leigh, there were times over the last few years that I was lonely, and I…. well, I slept with my ex-fiancé Courtney.  It happened a few times.  I don’t want you to think that I slept around on you and that I was like Declan, but there were just times I needed someone.  It didn’t mean anything; it was just s*x.  I know that sounds crude, but it’s the truth.” 

          I sat there for a moment and felt a pang in my heart.  Shawn and Courtney had been together for about five years before he went into rehab.  She was a model and an actress, and absolutely stunning.  He told me that they went their separate ways, that he felt she was using him.  He said he would never go back to her as they were better off being friends.  Shawn said, “Leigh, please say something to me.  I never wanted to hurt you but I don’t want to hide anything from you either.” 

          I looked into his eyes, “Can I have a few minutes to process what you just told me? I need to go for walk and get some air.”

          “But its dark outside and the temperature is only 40 degrees.”

          “Seriously, we are in the middle of a field, what the hell do you think is going to happen to me?  I need to get out of here for a bit.”

          Shawn looked visibly upset with worry and put his head between his hands.

          “Shawn, it will be fine, I just…need to wrap my head around what you just told me.”

          Picking up my jacket, I went out the door into the cool night.  I walked in the direction of the bluff overlooking the ocean.  I could feel the wind wrapping around my face, and the air felt cool on my skin.  I took a deep breathe taking in the fresh air.  The night was clear and the stars were shinning.  As I got closer to the bluff, I could hear the waves crashing down below.

          My heart hurt knowing Shawn was with another woman, especially his ex-fiancé.  But, getting upset with him would mean I was a hypocrite.  I made a promise to him that I certainly didn’t expect him to be an altar boy and that I would understand if he moved on with someone else.  The truth was I could not get upset with him, he was human and at least he was honest.  I was actually jealous.  Yep, that was it, pure jealousy because I felt I didn’t measure up to Courtney.  But that was crazy, he got himself sober to live another life and to spend that with me an only me.  I loved him, and I can’t let my insecurities ruin our relationship.  Now that we were together, I would make sure he never thought of anyone but me, and Courtney would be nothing but a memory.   I smiled and looked up to the night sky.  “Thank you, thank you for giving Shawn and I another chance.” 

          Feeling satisfied, I turned to walk back to the cottage, but suddenly I felt very dizzy, my head was spinning, and my left hand that wore the ruby ring was on fire.  It was glowing and I could feel the heat from it.  I dropped to my knees suddenly feeling a sharp pain in my stomach as though I literally could vomit it hurt so much.  Then everything went dark…...

          I opened my eyes and there were people yelling around me.  They were dressed in clothing of a different time period.  Slowly I stood up but the people moving around me acted as though they couldn’t see me.  I saw a woman headed to the path leading below and tried to ask her what was happening but she ignored me.  Looking back to where the cottage is located, it was still there but I also saw the barn in the distance.  Wait, we don’t have a barn anymore…...  Rubbing my temples with my fingers, all I could think was I must be dreaming. 

          Heading down the path that the woman took a minute ago, there was a ship and people yelling and scrambling to get the boat ready to go back out to sea.  I saw two silhouettes on the beach.  A man and a woman in an embrace, and I was drawn to them.

          As if on cue, there conversation was in my head….

          “Isabell, I love you and we will be together again.  Nothing could keep me from you.  Let me stay and fight, I will take my chances.”

          “Murdoch, no, you need to get out of here, if you don’t and they find you, you and your men will be drawn and quartered.  I cannot bear to see that.  We will be together soon, and never be apart.  We will meet in the America’s like we planned with you going ahead of me, everything will be alright my love.” 

          “Take this ring, and wear it always.  Think of the ruby as my heart and how you have me wrapped around your finger.  No man nor woman can break our bond.” 

          As Murdoch, slipped the ring on her finger, she whispered a spell, “Two hearts that are one, never to be undone.  Two souls connected to time, until the sound of the chimes.  A love that is so true, that will always see us through.  Let no man nor woman come between our hearts, for if they shall try, they will be banished to the dark.”

          The ring glowed between them as they kissed and a warmth filled the air. 

          I saw the man as he looked up from the woman, he was kissing…. His blue eyes filled me with warmth…. It can’t be.  It’s Shawn!!!!…. then I ran towards them.

          I heard someone call my name, “Leigh, oh my God… Leigh are you alright.  I should have never left you come out here by yourself!”

          I opened my eyes and found those beautiful blue eyes staring back at me.  Wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling myself to him, I kissed him feverishly.  “Shawn, I love you.  You are mine always!!”

          He wrapped his arms tightly around me.  “I thought for sure, that I lost you.  I would never do anything to hurt you, Leigh.  I waited so long to be with you.  We need to get you inside and warm up.”     

          As I stood up, he put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.  Once we got back to the cottage, we went upstairs to the loft.  I looked out across the field from our window.  The man named Murdoch looked very much like Shawn, and he called the woman Isabell.  If Isabell was my great, great, great, grandmother, then who was Murdoch?  My great, great, great, grandfather was Henry McKenna.  I’m so confused right now.

          Just then I felt Shawn turn me around to face him.  He was shirtless standing there in just his pajama bottoms.  His beautiful blonde hair tousled a bit.  He had cut his hair but it was still down to below his neck.  I place my hands on his chiseled chest.  For a man of 40 he looked better now than in his 20’s.  He has really taken good care of himself, and he was all mine.  He whispered low into my ear, “Get ready for bed love.”  His soft breath gave me chills and made me weak. 

          I changed into my pajama’s and slid into bed with Shawn and it was not long before we became tangled together.  I don’t really know why we even bothered to wear the pajamas in the first place.

          Shawn was very possessive in his love making this evening and every part of my body was on fire from his touch.  His hands were so soft against my skin and his feathery kisses on my body sent me into another world.  At one point I looked at his eyes and it was if they were dark with lust.  If I didn’t know any better, I would swear I was making love to another person, entirely.  He seemed to move more powerful and with every thrust he sent me into another zone of pleasure.  Afterwards as we lay there together to the point of exhaustion, he whispered these words to me in Scottish, “Mo ghradh, is leatsa mi.” (my love you are mine) Then he fell asleep.  Nothing sounded as beautiful to me as those words.  I wonder when he learned to speak Scottish?