A walk between worlds

                    A WALK BETWEEN WORLDS A Story by   T.C. King                           INTRODUCTION   If you had the ability to save a life would you do it?  If you could go back in time to and change the outcome of a situation would you do it?  Would you, even if it meant losing the one person you love??                                                     January 14, 1991   Another night, another gig, another drink.  I should be happy, but yet I feel empty inside.  Our band is on top of the charts but all I want to do is slip away where no one knows me, or wants anything from me.  I sit here in a local pub; the smell of cigarettes and stale beer surround me.  People are talking loudly and I just want to block out the world.  The pain that swims inside my body and my mind.  The alcohol calling to me like a siren, one I can’t resist, although I want to.  I say a prayer to myself; God send someone to help me I can’t do this alone……and with that, down the rabbit hole I go…. maybe for the last time…...                                                  CHAPTER 1 Present Day 2001 What a crazy day, I swear this phone hasn’t stopped ringing all day long.  Tell me again why I became a paralegal?  The door swings open and its John our mailman.  John has to be one of the happiest people I have ever seen, loves his job and is always smiling.  “Hey there John, what do you have for me in your bag of tricks today?”  John says, “Well, Leigh, I have something here for you that has your name on it that you need to sign for.” “Well, I hope it’s not another letter from a prison inmate, I swear they have my name and address on a bathroom wall somewhere.”  John laughs, “You never know Leigh, you never know…”   He says goodbye laughing.  I look at the return address and it’s from someone named Ken Wilson in Springfield, Illinois.  I’m giddy thinking it’s a long-lost rich uncle.  I can finally take that trip to Scotland!! I eagerly open the letter and start to read it, and then feel sick to my stomach as I drop to my knees, my eyes welling up with tears.  It’s a letter from a husband who enclosed proof that my husband, Declan is having an affair with this man’s wife.  What’s even more upsetting is that Ken Wilson knows a lot of very intimate details about me that only my husband could have shared with Ken’s wife.  Unfortunately, I have been down this road before, but this is a first, even for Declan.  My hands shaking uncontrollably, I walk up the stairs to my boss’s office and tap on the door.  Mike, my boss says to come in as he is working on a brief that is due.  I don’t make eye contact with him and ask if I could please take the afternoon off, I needed to go home.  He then takes a look at me and asks what’s wrong.  I’m fighting back tears as I hand him the letter and emails from Ken Wilson.  Mike reads the letter and looks up at me, “Leigh, are you ok?  Are you ok to drive?”  I said, “Yes, I’m fine but I need to deal with this, I just can’t do this anymore.  Would you guys be ok if I took the rest of the week off.”  Mike puts up his hand and tells me to take what time I need, but to call and let them know what is going on.  I nod my head and walk out of his office.  The pity in my boss’s eyes makes me cry even more as I walk away.  I grab my keys and get into my jeep and sit at the steering wheel and cry.  I have known for a while that this marriage is a mess and I’m not sure why the hell I keep trying to make it work.  “Well Leigh,” I say to myself, “put your big girl pants on, time to end this for good.  You are turning 30 and have time left to start over.”  I start the jeep and pop in a CD from my favorite group, Arc Angel hoping for some relief.  I love their music, although it’s not quite the same since Shawn Walker passed away in 1991.  Of course, everyone has a favorite and mine was Shawn.  It was the 80s’s when hair bands rocked the music scene.  Shawn was an amazing guitar player and song writer.  Tall and thin, deep blue eyes like the sea, and long blonde hair.  It was like being in love with someone you never met.  An attraction one cannot really explain.  Then I realized it’s the anniversary of his death today.  The world lost an amazing soul and talent on January 14, 1991.  I must have cut out every article on him after his passing.  He literally drank himself to death.  I think I cried for two weeks straight after that.  The band went on to continue their success but were devasted with his loss.  He was a major part of the song writing in the group.    I feel my eyes tearing up, and tell myself to seriously get over it already.  I must be crazy.  I reach down and turn up the volume and get lost in the music.  My mind settles a bit as I drift off to another place on my drive home.  It’s 12:30 in the afternoon, Declan will be home around 3:00 p.m.  That’s just enough time to get what I need for now and leave.  I call my mom on my cell phone from the jeep, and ask her if I could stay the night.  I then hang up with her.  I don’t explain anything to her, she would only worry.  As I come into the house, I am greeted by Zeke, my German Sheppard as usual.  I wrap my arms around his big neck.  “I love you baby boy, what would I do without you.”  He licks my face happy to see me as always.  “Well buddy, time for another suitcase drill. We are going home, so pack your toys.”  I finished packing the jeep, and got Zeke situated.  Before I go, I leave a copy of the letter along with all the emails between him and this woman.  I leave a quick note, “Interesting read.  My attorney will be in touch regarding divorce papers.  Do not contact me – we are done here.”   Funny, doesn’t quite hurt as much as the last two times, but as they say – three strikes and you’re out.  I jump in the Jeep with my copilot.  Both of us excited to be going home and for good. When I pulled in the driveway, my mom was there waiting for me.  The look on her face is mixed with both pity and anger.  Zeke jumps out of the jeep and goes running to her.  Searching her hands for a treat, which she has ready for him.  I walk over to her with one of my bags in hand.  She looks at me warily.  “So, what did he do now?  Who is she?”  “Well, this is a new one, even for Declan.  Apparently, he made a stop in Illinois to hook up with an old girlfriend who is married.  Her husband sent me a certified letter and emails from their home computer with all the details.  He felt I should know.  So happy to see the bonus I worked for get spent on a trip out west so he could get laid.”  My mother hugged me and said, “Now will you leave him?  He never deserved you.  I realize you hate to fail at anything in life but this is not a failure.  You were not meant to be him and have probably put up with more than I would have.  I would have been gone the first time.  I have always felt you belonged with someone else.”  “Mom, in my heart I believe I’m really done.  I don’t want to feel pity from anyone.  I’m ready to stop blaming myself for his short comings.  Unfortunately, it took me 10 years to get here.”  She said, “Let’s go inside where we can talk.  I have your favorite soup ready.”   She hugged me and we went inside. At dinner the three of us, my father, mother, and I worked out an arrangement where I would get my things from the house and pay them some rent and move into the other side.  Everyone thinks they have the best parents in the world, but no one holds a candle to mine.  It really was good to be home. I settled in for the night.  Zeke happily jumping up in bed to sleep with me as he snuggled up to me laying his head on my stomach.  I was emotionally exhausted at this point, and fell into a deep sleep rather quickly.  I began to dream of being in a forest.  Everything was lush and green, like it is in spring when everything begins to come to life after the dead of winter.  I could feel the coolness in the air around me.  The cool green grass under my feet.  I looked down and was in a pair of jeans and a loose white shirt.  My honey blonde hair was in loose curls around my face and shoulders.  I was holding a piece of lavender.  In the distance, I heard someone calling my name.  “Leigh…where are you.”  There was a figure of a man in the distance walking towards me.  I could feel my heart beat faster, not because I was afraid, but excited.  Somehow, I knew him.  As he came closer, I could not believe what I was seeing.  I immediately recognized him.  Those beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair, it was Shawn.  I must be dreaming because he is dead isn’t, he?  “Please come back to me Leigh…find your way back to me.”  He reached out his hand and touched my face and it felt like electricity against my skin.  His eyes were pleading with me and he started to fade away.  I reached out to him, “Wait don’t go.”  And just like that I woke up shaking.  I laid there very still.  I looked over at Zeke, who was snoring peacefully on the bed.  I thought I must be crazy.  I swung my legs off the bed and walked to the bathroom to splash some water on my face.  I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, I am 30 years old and I am still fantasizing about guitar players, one in particular.  But it seemed so real.  He felt real.  I realized after that I was wide awake and decided to grab my book from the nightstand and read a bit.  There was something on my pillow.  Wait, that can’t be what I’m seeing.  It was a piece of lavender.  That’s impossible.  It was a dream, right?  I decided it was going to be a long night until morning. Zeke and I went for a walk at first light.  I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t sleep.  I keep reliving the brush of his hand, the look in his eyes.  It was almost driving me insane.  Was it real, was it a message?  It’s not like I have not gotten messages from the other side before, but it was usually family members.  I get visits from loved ones who have passed and find comfort during those times.  We, as in my mother and sister, all possess some type of connection to people that have passed on.  My gram had the ability to heal as well.  I can still remember at a young age when she was teaching me about healing powers of crystals and stones.  I found it fascinating.  She had herbs in the little greenhouse out back that she used to make healing powders with.  I remember brining her a small rabbit that was hurt, and begged her to heal it.  She said, “Child, its time you learn.  I told your mother you have been blessed with a gift.”  Tears running down my face, I told her I can’t do what she does.  She kissed my forehead and smiled, “Child you can do anything your heart tells you too.”  And just like that, I learned.  Somehow, it seemed to come natural to me, almost familiar.  When my husband Declan came along, I was so enamored with him, that I literally shut off my abilities, and packed them away when I left home.  My world revolved around him and I realized only now, 10 years later, how much time I wasted.   I often wonder, why couldn’t I heal my marriage.  There are still some things I will never understand, but all in God’s time, not mine, as my gram would say to me.  I needed to find my old books and notes.  Maybe that would shed some light on things for me. As we came into the driveway from our walk, my father was working in his garage.  I swear he never ages when I look at him.  He looks up from under the hood of his truck, “How are you doing this morning kiddo,”.  I answer “I’m ok dad, I will be fine.  It will just take some time.”  He says, “you didn’t sleep last night, I could hear you.”  I said, “I know, I have things on my mind, I can always sleep when I’m dead.”  I laugh and think, where did that come from.  Only, I didn’t hear my voice say it, I heard a man’s voice.  My father looks at me, “Don’t say stuff like that.”  I brush it off.  “Awe dad, you worry too much, it’s all good.  Do you remember where my old herb books are and crystals were put when I left home.”  He says, “Yep, I put them in the closet in the man cave down stairs.”  I walked over kissed him on the forehead, and went to the man cave. I scurried down the steps to the closet of “mysteries”.  We call it that because it’s a mystery what’s even in there anymore.  It took me awhile but I found my old books and crystals.  It’s been 12 years since I packed these away.  I brought them out into the light.  I scanned through the books about herbs.  I always loved chamomile and lavender.  I dug down through my box and found my amethyst stone that I had set in a sterling silver cross. I had forgotten how beautiful it was.  I put it around my neck and as it touched my chest, I could actually feel the power of the stone.  My grandmother gave the stone to me.  She told me years ago that it had been in our family for many generations.  I stand in front of the old mirror on the door to the closet and look at myself in the mirror.  I feel like I’m so old and look at my appearance.  My hair was pulled back into a pony tail, and my eyes looked so sad.  I was not skinny but I had curves in the right places.  I ran my fingers over the cross and amethyst stone.  I have been so mentally abused for so long I don’t even care anymore about what I look like.  I realize I need to start working on me and try and get that confidence back I used to have, but it was not going to be easy.   I reached down and found other stones in the box as well and with all the clippings of when Shawn walked died.  There was one picture I had of him where he looked so happy.  I focused on it for a few minutes, thinking about my dream last night.  Just then I swear I heard someone say my name, almost like a whisper.  Yep, I’m going nuts, have to be.  I grabbed my books and went upstairs.  My stomach was rumbling and I could smell bacon and coffee.  After breakfast I told my mom about my dream.  She looked at me and said, “I remember you had tickets to finally go see them in concert when that happened.  I also remember you practically not eating for like two weeks.  I often thought it was odd how upset you were but you were 20 and young, still impressionable.  Are you thinking that the dream was really a visit?”  I said, “I’m not sure.  It’s such a nagging feeling, his eyes so pleading.  I feel like I’m supposed to help him somehow.  Well, if anything, it got my mind off of Declan.”  She then said, “Speaking of Declan, these arrived this morning for you.”  Here we go, the same old dozen roses apology.  Always when he screws up.  It used to work, but not anymore.  I took them and threw them in the trash.  I didn’t want to even look at them.  I needed to move forward with my decision to divorce him.  I could not let him pull me back into a few more years of lies.  I wasted too much time already.          CHAPTER 2 The Task   I checked in with work to let them know I would be back on Monday.  I decided to look up an old friend of mine who I had not seen in years.  Her name is Diane.  She is an amazing intuitive, healer, and spiritual individual.  Ok, so she is really like Glenda the good witch.  I love her and have not seen her in forever.  As I pull up to the front of her house, she comes onto the porch, “I knew you were coming she says with a smile.  Monty told me.  I have some tea ready for you.”  Monty is her cat and spiritual guide.  I run up the steps and wrap my arms around her little frame.  “So good to see you.”  “It is so very good to see you too my dear.  Leigh, I know you have some questions, but I also need to prepare you.  You have an unusual task ahead of you.”  We sit down at her table and Monty wraps around my legs purring looking for some attention, which I readily give.  Diane sits across from me.  “So, tell me about your husband?  What finally got you to leave?”  I laugh and ask, “Is there anything you don’t know?  Never mind, I already know that answer.”  She laughs, her eyes bright and mischievous.             I share with her the details, which she is not surprised.  “He was a lesson you needed to learn.  He was given too many chances and too much of your time.  Unfortunately, he will never learn his lesson.  So, tell me about Shawn?”             I stare at her, not really sure what to say.  “I had a visit, from a famous dead guitar player last night, of the band Arc Angel.  His name is Shawn Walker.  I used to worship this band when I was younger, and still do today.  I just always felt something for this guy.  Last night when he came to me in my dreams, he called me by my name, like we knew each other, when in reality, we have never met.  He was pleading for me to help him and come back to him.  Diane, I was like 20 when he died.  Why in the world would he come to me and ask me for help?  Please tell me I’m not crazy.”              Diane answers, “Honey, we are all crazy. Although there are different levels of crazy,” and she laughs.  “Let me tell you what I do know.  Shawn reaching out to you for help is real.  You feeling a connection to him is also real, because the two of you in some way are spiritually bonded together.  Leigh, you are a healer so it is no surprise that he would look to you.  How did he die exactly?”  I said, “He was an alcoholic, it was an addiction he just could not kick.”.  She said “If he were given the right guidance, he could have a second chance at life.  He has been allowed to come through to you because his second chance has been approved, so to speak.  You are the conduit in making that happen. I have already seen it.”              I sat there absorbing every word she was speaking and looking utterly confused as hell. “Hmmm, ok but we are missing the big picture here.  It’s January 2001, he passed away in January 1991, ten years ago.  Are you saying that I have to go back before he passed away?”  Diane answered, “That’s exactly what I am saying to you.”             She said, “There is much we need to do to prepare.  Are you willing to do this?  Once you commit, you need to see it all the way through, no matter what happens.”             I sat there for a moment, thinking with emphasis on the “no matter what happens.”  Part of me was excited, and the other part was scared.   I was thoughtful for a minute, thinking that maybe this is just what I needed to distract me from my life at the moment.  Even more shocking was that I was going to come face to face with Shawn Walker.  To say I was not intrigued at the thought that this connection between us was real would be an understatement.  “Diane, I want to do it.  What do I need to do?”             She smiled, and brought up a wooden box with Celtic carvings on it.  It was intricate and beautiful.  “You will need this for your journey.”  Opening up the box she pulled out a leather bracelet with a stone in the center.  It was something I had never seen before. “What kind of stone is that?  I don’t recognize it.”              “This my dear, is a Presili Bluestone, also known as Stonehenge Bluestone.  It is said that the druids used it to travel between worlds.  You will need to keep this bracelet on at all times, so when the time is right, you can come home.  You need to be very careful as time is nothing to mess with, and you must stay true to your purpose or there will be consequences.  Shawn’s path will be changed if you are successful, however, he cannot interfere with your path.”             Next, she pulled out a beautiful opal stone.  “There is a myth that if you wrap the opal stone in bay leaves and hold it in the palm of your hand, you will have the ability to cloak yourself.  In other words, invisibility.  Do not underestimate your ability Leigh, and the ability of the stones.  My only warning to you is that another person who has similar gifts, or someone attached to the darkness will be able to see you.”             “I would also suggest that you take Ashwagandha powder, and lavender.  You will need these to help him as well and they will aide in the cravings and the withdrawal that come from not drinking.”             I said, “How do you know what he will need.”  She said, “Because I am going to guide you and have seen his struggles.  You might want to prepare yourself for what you are going to see.  He is a far cry from what you idolize on stage and in your mind, and it may not be easy at first.” “The cross with the amethyst pendant you are wearing is a very powerful stone.  That stone has been handed down through your family for a reason, along with your grandmother’s ruby ring.  Those stone are very powerful Leigh and you will need them on this journey.  Did your grandmother ever tell you the story of the amethyst stone?”  I said, “She told me that the stone will provide protection and I should always keep it close.  As far as the ring, she told me never to let it fall into the wrong hands, but I wasn’t quite sure what she meant at the time.” Diane said, “Well the Amethyst is said to ward off drunkenness, aid in breaking negative patterns such as addictions as it brings clarity to the mind, and thus making it an excellent stone for meditation and protection.  The stone is actually the perfect choice for helping Shawn.  The ruby stone is the King of Gemstones and your birth stone.  I believe when the time is right, its secret will be unlocked to you.”             “Then how does this work, exactly if I travel back in time?  I mean, people will know I am missing.”             She smiled, “The beauty of this, is that although you may be gone for days or even weeks, no time will pass here.  It will be as if time stops for you.”             “Now, we need to work on your meditation skills.  You will need to sharpen those skills in order to go back.”             “I have a question, you said we are spiritually bonded.  What does that mean exactly?”             “You and Shawn have a past connection, a present connection, and a future connection.  Think of it as a circle that is never broken but only continues on.  Tell me, close your eyes and focus on Shawn and tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.”             I closed my eyes, and held my amethyst cross in my hand.  My breathing slowed, and my body relaxed.  I was remembering him smiling, his blonde hair and blue eyes.  His eyes…. “Yearning to be with him, that is what I feel when I see him.”             Diane smiled.  “I thought as much.  The two of you I believe at one time were past lovers.  That would explain the strong connection.  This may make things a bit more complicated for you both.  You will have to come back Leigh, remember that.  No matter what happens.”               I lowered my eyes.  Still trying to take in everything she was saying.  Suddenly I felt my heart drop.  I needed to remember my purpose and stay focused on that.  Shawn had amazing potential until he got off track.  He was brilliant musically and the powers that be decided to give him another chance and I needed to help him with that.  Nothing more.             We talked a bit more.  I so enjoyed my visit with her.  It was so nice to be home again.             After our goodbyes, I drove home thinking about all that was ahead.  So many emotions going through me.  I committed to the task and I needed to start preparing.             When I got home Zeke was awaiting me, tail wagging, wanting to go for a walk.  I took him up in the field above the house where he could run loose.  If I went back, it would have to be before he passed away.  Today’s date was now January 20, 2001 so I would need to research where he was in February of 1990.  I believe he entered into rehab either the end of February or beginning of March but I needed to be sure.  Diane had told me that we were lovers.  Lovers… The word stayed in my mind.  I know she was right, my heart told me so.  The day he died was like someone stabbed me in the heart.  For weeks it was like I was in mourning and really could not make sense of it.  Now, it makes perfect sense.  She was right, this is going to be complicated.