A walk between worlds

On Track

CHAPTER 8

On Track

Shawn’s POV

            After Dr. Chang left, I sat down rerunning all the thing we discussed for today, but I just could not help thinking about Leigh.  God, her kiss felt good.  I could have dragged her into the bedroom and made love to her.  I wonder if that woman has any idea what she does to me.  Those green eyes and blonde hair, I just want to get wrapped up in her.  What the hell is wrong with me.  I mean I have wanted and been with women, but she is like something different.  I need to shake this out of my head.  She is here trying to help me and all I can think about now is getting her clothes off.  I should have never kissed her. 

            I heard someone at the door, she must be back.  When I open it, I see Jenny from a few cabins up from mine.  Her slender figure and red hair looking very sultry in my doorway in her black cat suit and belt.  She has a black leather jacket and high heeled boots on to complete her look.  I think to myself; she is trying too hard.

            “Hi Jenny, what can I do for you?”  

“Oh Shawn, I was hoping we could talk for a while, I have had such an exhausting session with the therapist and could use a friend.”  She adds with a pout.

I run my hands through my hair, “Sure, come in and sit down.  Would you like a coffee or tea, something to drink.”

“No Shawn, I just need you.  Come sit with me.  Let’s talk.”

As soon as I sit down next to her, I suddenly feel that this is a big mistake. 

Leigh’s POV

            When I got to the cabin, I was going to knock but the door wasn’t locked so I stepped inside.  Everything was dark.  I sat my things down and turned on the over head light.  I was startled because Shawn was sitting there in the dark.  He didn’t look at me.  “Where were you?  Why did you take so long?”  His tone was a bit edgy and I didn’t like it. 

            “When I left, I told you I had to go to town and get some things.  Besides, I wanted to give you some time with the Dr.  I know he wanted to talk to you about how they were going to proceed on getting you better.” 

            “The plan, what a joke, there is no hope for me.  Look at my hands, I have the shakes so bad, I’m no good to anyone.  I have let everyone down; they are better off without me.” 

            “Stop it!! That’s not true and you know it.  Everyone wants you to get better.  Your family, the guys in the band.  They want you to get well so you can come back.  They care deeply about you.  Especially Paul.”

            “Where you with anyone when you left?  Did you go to meet someone?  She said that’s where you were, she saw you.”  He stood up and moved toward me, “Who did you slink off with?  Is it someone here?  I bet you are helping more than just me, aren’t you?”

            “Who is she?  Who are you talking about?

            “Jenny, she stopped by to see how I was doing after the Dr. left.  I was upset and she stayed here with me, when you should have been the one to be here!”

            Oh, I have had about enough of this I thought.  She got him when he was lowest.  I remember what Diane said, “Prays on the weaknesses.”  I started to walk toward him and reached around my neck and took off my necklace.  I ripped his shirt open and put the chain around his neck, then pressed my amethyst cross into his chest.

            “What the hell are you doing Leigh?”  He looked at me disoriented.  “I didn’t mean it; I don’t know where any of that came from.”

            I said, “I do, Jenny got ahold of you. Shawn, you need to stay away from her, she is no good.  She got inside your head. Please promise me you will stay away from her.”

            “I’m sorry for the way I acted, it wasn’t me.”   I said, “Actually, it was you, the worst part of you.  We all have a part of us like that, and being around her brings out the worst in people.  There is no need to apologize; it’s really not your fault.  Keep the necklace on, I think you need it more than I do right now.” 

            “I’m going to make you some tea to drink and put some aswahngha in it that will help with the shaking.  You are still going through withdrawal and could be like this for a few weeks because you stopped drinking.”

            I walked into the kitchen and started to make some tea.  I glanced back at him and he was holding the cross, studying it.  Finally, he said, “Was this made special for you? “

I said, “Yes, I have had the stone for a very long time, its actually very old.  I had a local jeweler friend of mine merge the stone into that cross.  The amethyst is a stone that has many powerful qualities and that one, is very strong.  I want you to have it for now.  Keep it around your neck always.  It will help you.”

            “I have made a f*****g mess of my life; I have let so many people down.  I don’t even know where to start.” 

            “Well, admitting you have a problem is a good first step.  Surround yourself with people who love and support you.  We are all here to help you.  Everything will be ok, just stick to the plan and don’t for any reason loose contact with your family or the guys.  They are pulling for you and actually they are coming to see you tomorrow.”

            The tea was ready and I walked over and handed it to him.  “Drink this and sit back and relax.  I have a pizza coming, I thought you may be hungry.  In the meantime, I am getting a much-needed shower.”  As I was walking back the hallway, he yelled, “let me know if you need any help” I shouted back, “I’m locking the door creeper.” And I heard him laugh.

            I pulled out the PJ’s I got today at the store and grabbed my back pack.  I took the black tourmaline stones and hid them around the room.  I would put them throughout the cabin tomorrow.  Then I lit one of the sandalwood candles I bought and went and got my shower.

            I really needed to meditate tomorrow and get my energy back.  I was so drained.  I was not going to be able to leave him alone with Jenny around.  I could feel the fire in my gut burning just thinking of her taking him away from me.  The anger I felt almost scared me. 

            When I stepped out of the shower my long hair was damp.  I had loose pj bottoms on, and a short-sleeved t-shirt.  I could smell the pizza down the hall.  Shawn had changed too, he put on almost the same thing I was wearing.  He laid out a picnic in front of the fire place and lit the other candles I bought. 

            “I hope you don’t mind, I thought we could sit here in front of the fire and eat.  I made dinner.”  I started laughing.  “My favorite, pepperoni pizza.” 

            The fire flickered and made his eyes almost sparkle.  He may have made his life a mess but I was determined to get him on the right track.  He said, “It’s snowing outside.  I am scheduled for some things tomorrow, but maybe we could go for a walk in the snow?” I answered, “I love the snow, it’s a date.” 

            We talked about the guys coming to visit tomorrow, and some of the things that the Dr. wanted him to work on to get him back on track.  He talked to me a little bit about his music and how he gets his ideas to write songs.  It was very interesting and I loved hearing everything about him.  All the things I didn’t know.  I could not help but feel I was falling for this guy.  I must be crazy, I mean this is Shawn Walker, a famous musician sitting her with me telling me all about his life.  It’s so surreal.  And that kiss, I wanted him to touch me again in the worst way.  It was like he woke me up from a dead sleep when he did that, and now I wanted more.  But I know it’s not a good idea.  How would I ever be able to leave?  I shook the thought from my mind.

            We were laying in front of the fire, when he rolled over on his side and looked at me.  “Is it time for bed yet?”  Before I could answer, he leaned in and kissed me, and I didn’t even try and stop him.  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me.  Oh God, I can’t be doing this, but I can’t stop either.  He took his hand and softly went up under my t-shirt, running his hand gently over my skin.  I whispered, “Shawn, we can’t….” but instead was left with breathless kisses from him.  “Leigh, I want to take you bed.”  He slowly got up took my hand and we went back to the bedroom.  The smell of sandalwood filled the air.

            He pulled me down on the bed and looked at me, running his fingers over my face.  I looked up at him and smiled.  He said, “Leigh, I won’t do anything that you don’t want to.  I would never force myself on you, but I want you to stay with me tonight.  Please let me hold you.  I need you.”  I can only nod.  I lean up and kiss him and he reciprocates as his kisses tell me that he is hungry for more.  I take my hands and tug at the bottom of his shirt and pull it over his head.  I lay my hands on his chest and I look at him and say, “You are beautiful do you know that?”  He laughed, “I have been called a lot of things, beautiful was not one of them.”  I said, “Well you are, I can’t take my eyes off you.” 

            He looks at me, “Leigh, I want to make love to you, can I.”  I said, “On one condition and please don’t ask me any questions, no lights, blow out the candle please.”

Shawn looked at me and without saying a word the room became dark, but not enough that we could not find each other.

            It didn’t take long until there was nothing between us but skin.  He caressed every part of my body, taking me all in like a fine glass of wine.  He kissed me between my thighs and moved up to my breasts and I laid there so very naked and unashamed.  “Leigh, God you are so beautiful, I want you so bad, I can’t wait any longer.”  I said, “Then don’t.”  He finally positioned himself to enter me, I could not help but whimper his name.  I don’t think I ever wanted a man to touch me more than him.  It was so different, I felt free and not afraid that I was being judged or not doing something right.  I wrapped my legs around him pulling him into me with every thrust and when we finally climaxed together, we were exhausted.  He just laid there for a few minutes kissing me lightly.  He said, “I’m sorry but not really.  I should have never kissed you in the bathroom, because once I did, I wanted you.  I wanted all of you.”  I smiled and said, “I’m not sorry, you have no idea how you just made me feel.  Wanted, needed, desired.  I haven’t felt like this with a man before.  Thank you.”  And I kissed him. 

The rest of the night we were tangled up with each other, and I couldn’t get enough of him. It was almost as if he and I were truly one, and familiar with each other.  I was really going to have a hard time letting him go.

            We were falling asleep, when I heard him whisper, “I will never leave you.”

Shawn’s POV

            I rolled over and looked at her, sleeping there so softly.  God she was amazing.  I started to run my hand along her leg and she stirred and rolled over.  When she did, I caught sight of a 3-inch mark, almost like a cut that healed along her breast.  I started to look at her closer and saw others, on her back and hip.  I suddenly could feel myself getting angry.  They look like someone or something did this to her.  Now I know why she wanted the lights off.  She didn’t want me to see her like that.  All kinds of things are running through my mind.  Did Declan do this to her?  I swear, I will hunt him down and beat the hell out of him.  Maybe she was in an accident.  I need to calm down.  Just then she opens her eyes.

            “Hi there,” she says smiling at me.  I lean down and kiss her, “Good morning Ms. Reese.” 

            She said, “How do you feel about a good breakfast and cup of coffee?”  I said, “It sounds good but I would rather have you instead.”   She smiles and then pulls the covers up to around her and gets quiet.  I know what she is hiding but I don’t want to press.  I said, “I will take the breakfast and save you for desert later,” then kiss her on the forehead. 

            I get out of bed and pull on my clothes from last night, then say, “I will start the coffee dear.”  I figure this way it doesn’t make her feel awkward.

Leigh POV

            I was thankful that he got out of bed and gave me some privacy.  I don’t understand why, I mean really, he just kissed every single inch of me last night.  I just don’t want him to see my scars, there would be questions, and I need to focus on him not me. 

            I get dressed and walk down the hallway.  “Cream or sugar dear,” he says with a smile.  I say, “Just cream.  Thank you, a girl could get used to this.”  Then kiss him on his cheek.    

            I start making breakfast as he sits at the kitchen island and just drinks his coffee and stares at me.  Then with a devilish grin and a wink he said, “Do you want to go back to bed?”

            I laugh, “Ah, no, you have a schedule this morning.  Speaking of which.  You have group today and the guys are coming for a visit.”

            Breakfast was ready and we sat at the kitchen island.  I gave him eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice. I saw him take his medication on his own, so that was encouraging.

            I had gotten a shower and changed into a pair of jeans, and my boots.  I pulled on a white Henley shirt and my bomber jacket.  I looked in the mirror and thought, I looked pretty good.  For the first time in a long time, I felt good and it was because of Shawn.  So that begged the question, who was healing who.  I smiled to myself.  He was waiting for me in the living room. 

            He had on a pair of boots with ripped jeans and a white shirt with a flannel.  The necklace looked good against his white shirt.  It truly was for him.  He smiled when he saw me, and I could not take my eyes off him.

            Walking out the door he wrapped his fingers in mine.  As we crossed the courtyard, I could feel us being watched.  I smugly said to myself, he belongs with me Jenny.

            While Shawn was with Lilly this morning, I decided to use one of the meditation rooms to contact Diane.  “I entered the room and took off my boots and coat and sat cross-legged on the floor.  Focusing on my breathing and slowing my heart rate, I began to relax. 

            “You slept with him, didn’t you?”, Diane said laughing. 

            “Seriously, is there nothing sacred here?”  I replied.  “Yes, I couldn’t help it.  It’s not like it’s a hook-up.  It’s more than that.”

            Diane said, “I know it is.  I knew that was going to happen eventually.  I told you, your past, present, and future are all connected and you were lovers in the past.  Speaking of the past, I have been trying to figure out where the two of you would have been linked.  Your great great great grandmother, was Isabelle McNeil and she was from Scotland.  She was like me, a white witch.  The ruby ring you were given was Isabelle’s ring and that would go back to at least the early 1800’s, although my guess is, the ring is itself is much older than that.”

            “Well,” I said, “I had a run in with Jenny she came at me and tried to take the ring off my finger, and it burned her.  She said the ring doesn’t belong to me, that its her’s.  What do you think she means?”

            Diane said, “I wonder if somehow Isabelle took the ring.  But then why does she want Shawn.”

            I had a shutter run through me, “What if Isabelle and me are one and the same.  And if Shawn and I are linked to the past, what if Isabelle took Shawn and the ring from her and that’s why she is so dead set on taking him away from me”

            Diane said, “Hmmmm, that is an interesting thought and just might be a possibility.  I promise I will keep looking, but be careful.  I have another question, you said the ring burnt her fingers, what did it do to you?”

            “I felt anger inside and felt on fire like I could have thrown a fireball at her face.  It scared me a bit.  The ring actually glowed.”

            Diane said, “I am going to consult with an old friend of mine.  I have a feeling that you could have.  Whatever you do, don’t take that ring off.”

            “I won’t.  Diane, I am falling for him, this is going to be very difficult to let go.”

            “I know, but you have too.  There is hope though, if he is successful and makes the right choices, when you return, he will be in the present time.  Focus on that.”

            “I will, miss you and thank you for your help.”

            Diane said, “I will be in touch with you.  May our lord god watch over you, my child.”

            When I was finished, I sat and mediated a bit more.  When I was finished, I looked at the time.  It was almost 10:00 a.m., Shawn would be in group right now.  I got up and walked down the hallway and peered in through the glass window in the door.  He was there, however, so was Jenny.  He had the necklace on to protect him, and he was not alone with her, so I relaxed a bit.  The amethyst would protect him from her. 

            Since I had some time to kill, I went back to the cabin and placed the rest of the black tourmaline stones throughout, and scattered a few around the outside of the cabin as well.  I thought about what Diane said about the ruby ring.  I did feel like I could have incinerated her on the spot.  I glanced down at it; the stone flickered a bit.  I wonder what would happen if I meditated on the stone.  I stepped outside and focused my energy on the stone and felt a warmth run through my body, so much that I melted all the snow around my feet.  I looked at the ring, and it was glowing.  Holy hell, what exactly is this ring.  I suddenly was not afraid of a confrontation any more.  The stone gave me an inner strength and I felt a surge of confidence.

            I stepped back inside and grabbed my coat to walk back over to the main building to meet Shawn.  He should be done soon.  I sat in the lounge area and he soon came down the hallway, with Jenny in tow.  I rolled my eyes and when she saw me, she said, “Bye Shawn, we will have to get together when you have time and maybe talk over lunch.”  He sort of brushed her off, “Yeah, ok and I can bring Leigh with me.”  I tried not to laugh, so I turned my head.  Well Jenny your sultry charms are not working. 

            Shawn smiled when he saw me, “Hey beautiful.  How about a quick bite and you and I take that walk before the guys come?  I have been doing some thinking and I want to ask you something.”

            I smiled at him, “Sounds great, let’s eat.”

            We went back to the cabin, and grabbed lunch, then bundled up to go for a walk around the lake.  We stepped outside, it was so beautiful, as if God took his hand and painted everything white. 

            Shawn was smiling and intertwined his fingers in mine.  I looked up at him, “So how was your morning, with Lilly and group.”

            He looked at me, “I like talking with Lilly, she makes me comfortable, like you.  I feel like I can open up to her. Talk through my feelings.  I didn’t like group to much.  I didn’t say a lot.  I just don’t want to open up to a lot of people around me I don’t know.  It’s a trust thing.” 

            “Why don’t you talk to Lilly, ask her if you can continue to just do one on one for now. “

            “I will.”

            “How do you feel?  I mean the cravings; do you still have them.”

            “Put it this way, if you put a glass of wine, or a bottle of beer in front of me right now, I would drink it like it was water.  I’m dealing with it.  It’s very difficult.  Somehow I think I would be worse right now if you weren’t here with me.”  He picked up the cross and looked at the amethyst.  “Lilly noticed I was wearing your cross.  I told her it was a gift from you.  Is it true what they say about the stone, that it helps one with the drink?” 

            I smiled, “Yes, it is, and so much more.  Don’t ever take it off or underestimate the healing power inside it.  It will protect you, long after I am gone.”  I looked off across the lake.

            He said, “Don’t say that.  I mean I know you have to eventually leave but I don’t want to think about it.  Right now, all I want to do is find out everything I can about you, what drives you, your favorite color, if you like cats…”  he laughed.

            “I don’t know how much time we have Shawn, so we need to make the most of it.”

            He bent down and kissed me.  God I could get lost in him forever. 

            “So, what is your favorite color anyway.”   I laughed.  “Well, my favorite color is all shades of purple.  I actually love animals more than people.  I have played the piano for 17 years before I stopped.  Music, I love all kinds of music, from Chopin and Mozart to heavy metal and rock.  Arc Angel is my all-time favorite group, I’m not going to lie. Of course, there was one guitarist in the group that I particularly like.”  And then I winked at him. 

            “Ah, so you are a groupie then.  Interesting.”  He laughed then said, “I had no idea that you played the piano, I would love to hear you play sometime, will you play for me Leigh.”  “Yes, chopsticks.”  He said, “I’m serious, I want to hear you play.”  I said, “Um no, you are an accomplished musician, that’s very intimidating.”

 He said, “Why did you stop playing?”

“Well, I used to love to play for my grandmother, she would listen to me for hours, when she died, I just couldn’t play anymore without her.”  My eyes, started to tear up.  “Let’s talk about something else.”

            “Ok, if you could go anywhere in the world and money was not an object, where would you go?”  I said, “That’s easy, Scotland.  I have always wanted to go there since I could remember.  Where would you go?”  He said smiling, “I would go to Scotland, because that is where you would be.”  I loved that smile.  He looked so much better in just a few days, and happy, like his pictures in the beginning of his career.

            He was shaking a bit.  I said, “Are you cold?” 

            “No, not at all, that’s really not my teeth chattering.” 

            “I learned something about my ring today.  Come here and wrap your arms around me.”  I focused on the ring and could feel a surge of warmth go through my body.  I said, “Can you feel it?” 

            “Yes, you are much more than a healer, aren’t you? “I said, “I’m trying to figure that out.  Does it scare you?” 

            “No, actually it doesn’t.  The only thing that scares me right now is losing you.”

            I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes and whispered “me too.”

We headed back up to the cabin.  Talking about music and what it was like on the road.